Authors: Karen Noland
As the days passed, and Kate grew
stronger, she longed to know how she had survived that awful fire. Nana could
not have saved her, that she knew. She was not strong enough to have pulled her
from the flames, and Jake had been away on one of his freight hauling trips.
One Sunday afternoon while Nana
and Jonathan were attending church, Kate sat quietly in her bed reading her
Bible. It had been a gift from her parents on the day she was born, and she
never went anywhere without it. She had tucked it safely in her pocket that
fateful night as she returned from another late night studying at the library.
“Lord, I don’t understand,” she
prayed. “How could you let this happen? I should have been there! What did my
parents do to deserve this? What did I do, Lord? Are you there? Can you hear
me?” she screamed her frustrations.
Knowing in her heart that
her Lord had not deserted her, she still railed at Him, not understanding how
He could stand by and let the agony continue. She looked with disgust at the
weeping flesh that covered her arms, the physical scars would be horrific, but
what about the scars on her soul, she wondered. Tears streamed from her eyes
and she buried her head in her pillow.
A rich quiet voice filled her
ears. “May I come in, please?”
She had looked up into the
compassionate blue eyes of Will Shaughnessey.
“Will, what are you doing here?”
she asked wiping at her eyes and blowing her nose on the hanky he held out.
Will and Kate had grown up together. Their families had lived next door to each
other since they were both in diapers.
“Just thought it was about time I
came to see if it was worth my time pulling you out of there.”
“You...” she gasped.
“Well, I thought twice about it,
you know, seeing as how you put that frog down my shirt once. And you were
awful confound heavy
-
but I decided if I still planned
on marrying you I better get you out of there,” he joked.
“Marrying me? What are you
talking about?”
“Aw, c’mon, Kate, you know I’ve
been in love with you since we were ten or twelve. What do you say, will you
marry me?”
“Will, look at me! I’ll never be
the same, I’m scarred, and burned, and....”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me! Besides, I don’t
love you,” she finished weakly, casting her eyes down.
“You like me, don’t you?”
“Of course I do!”
“Good. Then you can learn to love
me. My love will be enough for both of us until God’s redeeming love brings you
around!”
“But...”
“I’ve always thought a winter
wedding would be nice. How about December? You ought to be pretty well healed
up by then.” And so they had married, and God’s redeeming love had saved her.
She had grown to love Will with a strong and faithful love.
“... for God’s redeeming love!”
The preacher was closing, and the congregation began stirring around her. She
shook her head as Matt reached his hand down to her. This hard, cold man was
not Will, she would never grow to love him as she had Will. Standing, she stepped
away from him and looked for her family. Jake appeared at her elbow. Almost
shaking with relief, she made her excuses to Matt and allowed Jake to escort
her out towards the large oak tree beneath which the tables were laid for the
afternoon picnic.
***
Nana had spread the cloth in a
secluded area just away from the main tables. The baskets were already open and
Jo and Jonathan were arguing about who could eat the most pie. Sinking slowly
to the ground, she closed her eyes and breathed in the rich earthy aroma of
sun-warmed grass, new spring flowers, and the thousand myriad scents of fried
chicken, fruit pies, and fresh baked breads. She smiled at the petty bickering
between the children, and soaked in the love of these people she called family.
“You all right, Kate?” Jake
asked.
“I am now.”
“Well, good. Then p’rhaps you
could see to giving me a hand with setting out this food!” Nana said. “Jon, you
go draw water from the pump there, and Jo, I want those napkins folded proper.
Just because this here’s a picnic, don’t give us no reason to behave like
heathens.”
“Yes, Ma’am,” all three chimed in
at once. Bursting into gales of laughter, they each set about their appointed
tasks, while Nana supervised with an exacting eye.
***
They ate and laughed and renewed acquaintances.
As the afternoon wore on, Kate sat in the shade beneath the old oak, watching
the children run and play. Jake dozed contentedly nearby while Nana busied
herself with knitting. The lazy drone of bees working a nearby patch of pink
and white clover had all but lulled Kate to sleep, when she was startled awake
by a familiar voice.
“Kate, there you are. I’ve been
looking everywhere for you,” Martha called. “Come and walk with me a while.”
“I’ll be back soon,” she
called to Nana. Rising and brushing the grass from her full skirts, she joined
her friend, already anticipating the coming meeting.
“He’s waiting for us at the
livery. Lars is there with him, so there’s no need to worry. Just talk to him.
You need the help, and I know you’ll like him.” Martha fairly bubbled with
enthusiasm. Kate was as nervous and reticent as Martha was gay and excited.
“Let’s get this over with then.”
“Kathleen Rose Shaughnessey!”
Martha mocked her, “You straighten up that attitude, young lady,” she smiled.
Kate gave her a withering look as
they approached the large gray barn that served as both Livery and blacksmith
shop. Two men stood in front, along with a large grey gelding, saddled and tied
loosely to the rail. They were examining the horse’s front feet, not noticing
as the women drew near.
“Hello, Lars,” Kate smiled. She
truly liked Martha’s tall, lanky husband. He was as large and fair and quiet as
she was small and dark and talkative. They were a unique and special couple.
“Miss Kate,” he nodded shyly.
“Kate, I’d like you to meet Luke
Josey. Luke, this is Mrs. Shaughnessey.”
The other man set down the
hoof he had been inspecting. Straightening and turning to face the women, Kate
was met by the same green eyes she had seen in the mercantile. A muscle twitched
near his jaw as he held out his hand, “Pleased to meet you, ma’am.” His voice
was rich and warm.
“Mr. Josey.” She reached out to
shake his hand, and found hers completely engulfed in his firm grasp. A long
moment of silence ensued as each studied the other. Finally retrieving her
hand, she took a step back.
“Well, somebody say something!”
Martha’s sharp command seemed to break a spell.
“I understand you could use some
help on your ranch.”
“I can’t offer you much.”
“I don’t need a lot.”
“I have a small bunkhouse, meals,
and when I can I’ll pay twenty dollars for a month’s work. It’s hard work.”
Glancing at his horse, she added, “If you’d like, I can provide a horse in
place of one month’s pay.”
He chewed on one corner of his
lower lip as if chewing over her offer. Looking at Rio, he seemed to make up
his mind. “That old cow pony of mine isn’t getting any younger, you’re right. I
reckon he could use a break now and again. Tell you what, I’ll stay on through
the fall, you give me a good horse, and hundred dollars. If you want, you can
pay me only half of each month’s wages at the end of a month, then the balance
at the end of the fall.”
Something inside her seemed
to scream at her to turn and run, this man was dangerous. Closing her eyes, she
prayed,
Dear, Lord, what do I do? I need the help he’s offering, but I’m
afraid. What am I afraid of?
As she opened her eyes, Matt Johnson appeared
from around the corner of the building.
“There you are, Kate. Will you
come? There are some matters I’d like to discuss with you.”
“I’m rather busy right now. Can
it wait?”
Taking her arm in a possessive
grasp, Matt continued, “Oh, but I really think....”
“The lady said she’s busy.”
Luke’s voice was low pitched, just shy of threatening.
Wresting her arm from his grip,
Kate turned to face him. “Mr. Johnson, when I’ve finished my business here,
I’ll gladly meet you at the Mercantile in twenty minutes.” Her voice was
steady, belying the fear that welled within.
Casting a dark glance in Luke’s
direction, Matt paused for an instant before replying curtly, “Twenty minutes.
Don’t keep me waiting, Kate.”
Shaken and distraught, Kate sank
onto the bench near the front of the livery. Martha grasped her hand, and held
her friend. Regaining her composure, she raised her eyes toward heaven, then
with a wry grin, she turned to Luke, “If you still want the job, you’re hired.”
While Martha took Luke to meet
the Insleys, Kate and Lars headed to the Mercantile. The cold fear returned to
plague her. As they approached the boardwalk in front of the store, Matt
Johnson rose from where he was seated on one of the benches against the front
of the building. Lars placed a comforting hand on the small of her back, giving
her strength in the knowledge of his presence.
“Mr. Jansen, I believe I can take
it from here,” Matt drawled, clearly dismissing the man.
Lars looked at Kate as though
seeking her will in the matter.
She nodded slightly, “but don’t
go far, please,” she whispered.
Tipping his hat, Lars entered the
mercantile taking up a post just inside the door.
“What can I do for you, Mr.
Johnson?”
“Please, Kate, won’t you call me
Matt?”
She remained silent,
waiting for him to continue.
“Let’s sit down, shall we.”
Hesitating for a moment, Kate
sighed, then took the offered seat.
Sitting beside her, Matt began,
“Kate, I’m a businessman. You know that. I work hard, and when I see something
I want, I go after it. I’ve even been accused of not playing ‘fair’ sometimes.”
He smiled at her. His deep hazel eyes softening for the first time. “You’ve
been alone now for
-
what?
-
nearly a year?”
“Nine months,” Kate whispered,
fighting back tears.
“Nine months. You’ve done a
remarkable job out there, keeping everything running, but aren’t you growing
tired?”
His concern was beginning to
disarm her. The fear abated slowly to be replaced by a growing wonder about
this man she thought was the enemy. Did he really care? Were her fears
unfounded? As he reached out to take her hand, gently encasing it in both of
his, she did not pull away.
“I’ve made no secret over the
years about how much I’d like to have your place
-
Providence,
isn’t that what you call it? A beautiful name for a very special piece of
land.”
Kate nodded, but it was more than
a piece of land, it was her
home
.
Still holding her hand
firmly between his, he spoke more passionately, “Kate, there’s more than that.
I’m a man. I have feelings. There are times that I have found myself growing
lonely. You’re an incredible woman, Kate Shaughnessey, but you need someone in
your life. Will you consider marrying me?”
A rush of conflicting emotions
collided in a burst so intense that it felt like an explosion going off in her
very soul. She could do no more than stare at the man before her. Her throat constricted,
so that no words could escape as she fought to regain control.
Taking her silence as
encouragement, he continued, “You have three more months of mourning before you
can respectably marry again. So for now, please, think about my offer.”
“Matt, I...” her voice was
hollow; she felt like she was drowning.
Lord, help me
, she pleaded
silently.
“In the meantime, I can pay you
court, and I’ll have time to prepare our home in Guthrie to suit a woman and
her daughter.” He smiled broadly, kissing her hand tenderly. “Now if you’ll
excuse me, I have some other business to attend, my dear Kate. I’m sure Lars
will see you safely back to your wagon.” He rose, settling his hat squarely on
his black hair, and strode off down the street.
Kate sat in stunned silence on
the bench outside the store. She felt as though a cannonball had just landed on
her chest, and she was dying, unable to breathe beneath the weight of it.
***
Matt smiled to himself as he
walked away from the woman sitting on the bench. He wanted that land, and if
marrying her was the only way to get it, well, so be it. There were worse
things he could think of than a pretty wife. Besides, once they were married
and the land was safely transferred to his name, he could leave her and her
brat at the house in Guthrie and continue on with his life just the way it was.
As he passed by the Livery, two
of his men joined him.
“Any news, boys?” he asked
cheerfully.