Prowled Darkness (Dante's Circle Book 7) (5 page)

Amara was silent for so long that Eliana had to turn and look over her shoulder.

“What?” Eliana asked. “I told him to go because he didn’t apologize for leaving. He didn’t tell me what he felt now. He just told me what would happen and expected me to go alone with it.”

“He’s a dude,” Amara said. “I’m mated to two of them. They don’t always understand that they need to explain things and listen.”

“That’s a little sexist,” Eliana said, though she’d thought the same thing already.

Amara rolled her eyes. “Let me rephrase then. He’s a dude who is friends with my Tristan. So, yeah, he is an idiot when it comes to communication. They all were—still kinda are. And frankly, so were we when I think about it. He needs to apologize, yes. And he needs to listen to you and take steps
with
you rather than
for
you. But he’s hurting too, honey. Can’t you feel that?”

Eliana pressed her lips together. She’d seen the hurt in his gaze, but she couldn’t see past her own. And that was wrong.

“I have to be strong for the baby,” Eliana said softly. “I can’t just use the excuse that ‘well, Daddy had to be the king, young Simba, so I gave up everything.’”

Amara let out a snort. “Please don’t name your baby Simba or Nala.”

Eliana laughed. “No Mufasa or Scar either.” She closed her eyes. “Dude. I’m going to have a baby. A baby cub. What the hell am I going to do?”

Amara hugged her close and kissed her temple. Her friend warmed her when Eliana hadn’t been sure she could ever feel any form of warmth again. “You’re going to be a kickass mom. You and Malik are going to talk and figure out a plan. Whether you are together or apart, you’ll be there for this baby. We all will. I know fate just threw you a curveball of epic proportions, but you can handle it. You’re stronger than you think you are.”

Eliana hoped her friend was right. Because everything had changed once again and now she had to be the rock for not only herself but her baby, as well. Only she was tired of being the rock. She wanted to lean against someone. She wanted a partner.

She just didn’t think Malik knew what it meant to be a partner.

Because she sure as hell didn’t.

Malik had made a colossal mistake, and he only had himself to blame. He shouldn’t have left her alone in the house. He shouldn’t have left to begin with. Yet, no matter what, he couldn’t go back to either time and make a different decision.

What he
had
to do, was be a fucking adult and own up to his mistakes. Because by brushing it all away and trying to only think of the future without asking about the past, without dealing with it at all, he’d messed up royally.

He’d been so worried about not falling to his knees because of how he’d been raised, that he’d let the one person in the world who could truly be his slide through his fingers. As a lion shifter, he might not have the same fated mate idea like the others in the realms around him, but his lion had already chosen Eliana.

He should have listened to the damned cat when he had the chance.

Now, he was alone in his Rover, driving around like a freaking idiot because he didn’t have a home in this realm anymore. He couldn’t go to the one friend he knew was near because Tristan would kick his ass for hurting Eliana in the first place.

He was alone, and he was the only one to blame.

Malik should go back and beg for forgiveness. He should fucking grovel and ask Eliana to be his. He should
listen
to her and see what she needed, rather than proclaim that they would be mates in a realm that was as foreign to her as a new world.

His knuckles turned white on the steering wheel as his grip tightened. Enough of this. Self-pity wouldn’t help anyone. The only thing he could do was go back to Eliana and say his piece in truth. She might want space, and he would give it to her, but first, he needed to do the one thing he should have done in the first place.

Recognize her agony.

He did a U-turn and sped back to her place, praying he wasn’t too late—and that he wouldn’t get pulled over. Luckily, no one stopped him until he made it to the front door of her home, his arm raised to knock.

He froze, scared out of his mind.

What if after he’d spoken to her, after he’d told her that he loved her, she pushed him away again? What would he do? He let out a growl and cursed at himself. This was why  there was even an issue in the first place. Time to nut up and be a fucking man about the fact that he loved the woman in that house, and the fact that he was going to be a damned father.

The door opened before he could knock and he swallowed hard at the sight of Tristan’s mate, Amara on the other side.

“You came back,” Amara said as she narrowed her eyes. “Good. Now don’t fuck up again because if you do, I’ll show you
exactly
what it means to be a siren.”

“You can’t kill him, Amara! Don’t sing his song!” Eliana called from the living room, and Malik had to swallow hard. Again.

“Please don’t sing my song,” he said gruffly. “I’ll make this work. I promise.”

Amara shook her head. “It’s not me you should be making promises to and you know it. Now, I’m going to leave and see my mates, and you are going to fix this by being honest. I know you’re scared, and you should be, but don’t hurt my friend or I will end you. Got me?” And with that, the sweet-looking siren pushed past him and headed toward the other car in the driveway that he hadn’t even noticed was there when he’d pulled in.

“You’re back,” Eliana said as she moved toward him.

Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were red, but she’d stopped crying.

“Your friend scares me,” he said honestly. It was the first thing to come to mind, and once it was out, he wasn’t sure if he should have said it at all.

Eliana laughed. “Yeah, she scares me, too. In fact, all my friends do now. They’re powerful and protective but they’re mine. Are you going to come in, or are you going to stand in the doorway for the rest of the evening?”

He moved in quickly, closing the door behind him. “Eliana.”

“Before you start, I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

He blinked. “Why are you sorry? I’m the idiot.”

She snorted. “I won’t say you’re wrong there, but I’m sorry anyway. I shouldn’t have pushed you away while we were trying to talk. It was all too much for me and I just reacted.” She put her hands on her belly. “No matter what happens between us, we’re connected because of this baby. I don’t want to be with you
only
because of the baby, but I didn’t really give you a chance to talk about that at all. Instead, I freaked out and tried to hurt you like you’d hurt me. And for that, I’m sorry.”

He went to her quickly, cupping her face and tilting her head so he could see her eyes. Her skin was soft and warm beneath his palm, and all he wanted to do was nuzzle her and purr. He was a cat, after all.

“I am the one who should be sorry. I hurt you, Eliana. I hurt you and I hurt myself. But I thought I knew what I was doing. I left you and I shouldn’t have. Both times. I also shouldn’t have, like you said, dictated our future. I should have listened even as I tried to explain. I’m going about this all wrong and all I can think of as an excuse is that I’m scared to death because I’ve never done this before.”

Eliana closed her eyes and leaned in to his palm. He could have purred once again. “I hope you haven’t done this before,” she teased.

He leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose. She opened her eyes, and he knew he could get lost in them forever. She was his, even if he had to find a way to start from scratch and ensure she knew he could be hers, as well.

“I want to be your mate, Eliana. I want to raise our child together in whatever realm you feel at home in, but I want to be by your side.”

“I’d love that,” she whispered. “But we also have to figure out who we are together with everything out in the open. We fell into the relationship we had before because we each thought the other was human, and that changes how we are now. Does that make sense?”

He nodded and leaned forward again, taking her lips softly. She moaned into him and he had to pull back before he moved too fast, too soon.

“I don’t know how far back to go to start over. I think we’re past the introduction part.” He moved one hand to her belly, and she smiled.

“Maybe just a little introduction?” She took a deep breath, and he had to brace himself, afraid of what would happen once they got past this. “I’m Eliana. I’m a welder and artist, though right now, I’m preparing to be a mom. A few years ago, the Conclave struck my friends and me with a special type of lightning, and now, one day, when I find my mate and sleep with him during our mating, I’ll change into whatever paranormal creature holds the strongest part of my DNA. I have no idea what that will be, as each of my friends before me has turned into things I never dreamt of. I’m pregnant with your child and I’m scared to death that you’re going to leave again because I don’t know how to trust people.” She licked her lips. “Your turn.”

He chuckled roughly. “I’m Malik Ward, prince of the lion realm. My father is the current Leo. He’s also dying.” Eliana let out a pained breath, and he kissed her cheek. “I had to leave the one person I knew I could fall in love with so I could care for him. I also left because I was afraid if I fell fully, I wouldn’t be able to keep her because I thought she was human. Now my father is dying and my uncle wants the throne even though I’m next in line. So I’ve spent the past few months reassuring the Pride that I am who they need me to be and that I can rule as their leader. But all the while, I’ve wanted to be with the one person I couldn’t be with. As soon as I found out about Amara and thereby you, I came here. I came to take you with me, but I know that was wrong. I should have come to tell you everything, rather than assume you’d want to be mine at all.” He paused. “And now we’re going to have a baby and I’m scared as all hell but excited.” He smiled despite himself. “We’re going to have a baby,” he repeated.

“I didn’t know about your father,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry, Malik. Are you close to him?”

Malik shook his head. “Not as close as I’d like to be. I’ve spent the past few years away from the Pride, roaming. I’m not as old as Tristan, by the way. I’m only thirty-eight.” He grinned when her eyes widened. “Lions are long-lived so I’m relatively young, hence why my uncle wants the throne. The only reason my father is dying is because he was poisoned years ago in a fight to protect the Pride. It’s just now taking its full toll on him.”

“I’m so sorry, Malik.” She wrapped her arms around him as much as she could with her belly between them, and he let his shoulders relax for the first time in a long while.

He cleared his throat. “Before we talk more, though, I should probably tell you that another reason my uncle is trying to declare me unfit is that I don’t have a mate.” He winced. “So I had planned to go to the Pride and find a lioness because that was my duty.”

Eliana took a step back and he felt the coldness sweep over him at the lack of her touch. “Excuse me?”

He held out his hands. “I didn’t do it. I couldn’t. I had you in my mind, under my skin. You were it for me and I couldn’t go through with whatever plan the others might have had for me. I also don’t want you to think that you have to mate with me for me to be the Leo or anything. Because I want what happens between us to be about
us
not what the others want.”

Eliana closed her eyes. “That is…that is a lot.”

“I know. And I should have told you that to begin with but I fucked it up when I first got here. I think that’s all, Eliana. I mean, there is so much more to me than what I said, and I know there is more to you, but that’s a start, isn’t it?”

He went to his knees, a future Leo in love with the woman before him. “Forgive me, Eliana. Be with me. Be my mate and let me show you my realm. I know it’s fast and I know we still have to figure out who we are, but be with me.”

Eliana tilted her head. “Will having a mate help you with your Pride?”

He frowned. “Yes, but—”

“Then I’ll help.” She raised her chin. “I’m not going to put my baby or you in danger because your uncle wants your role. I take it you want to be Leo?”

He blinked. “It’s all I’ve ever known.” He paused. “And yeah, I want to be Leo. I know I can do good for my Pride. But Eliana, I don’t want you to mate with me because you’re trying to protect me. I want you to be with me because you want to.”

She pressed her lips together. “I want you, Malik. I always have and that was the problem.” She put her hands over her belly once more. “I want this baby to come into a world where he or she knows they’re loved. I…was falling for you before, too, Malik and I think that if we stay together, if we are together, I will fall for you irrevocably.” She met his gaze. “But I want to mate with you. I want to take a chance with fate because I’ve never taken a chance like that before. Can you do that? Can you be with me? Can I trust you?”

He cupped her face. “I want to be with you, Eliana. You
are
my mate as I am yours. My lion chose you long ago, and I choose you, as well. But I need to hear the words. I need to know you want to be mine because of who we are, not because of a chance. You can trust me, Eliana. I didn’t have all the facts before and I left. I shouldn’t have, but I didn’t know any better. I will forever be sorry for that, but I can’t mate with you if you don’t want me like I want you.”

She closed her eyes and a tear fell down her cheek. “I was just using the fate crap as a shield and I didn’t do a very good job with it.” She met his gaze. “I want you as mine, Malik, and I’m scared. So scared that if I don’t mate with you now that I’ll lose you forever. Be with me, Malik. Please.”

He couldn’t ignore her words, couldn’t say no. So instead of dealing with more of the emotions that could take over his mind and his heart, he pressed his lips to hers in a promise. He loved her, and he knew that if she opened her heart, she could love him, too. He would mate with her, be with her, and show her the man he could be. They’d deal with the Pride, her friends, and whatever realm her new life would fall into once they were mated and she was his.