Psyche Honor (Psyche Moon) (22 page)

“That first time you took me out fer a run, I remember
thinking I could escape her if I stayed in wolf form forever. I was screamin'
inside my head to stay that way and never come back.”

“When life gets difficult, a lot of us have that impulse,” Billie
replied. “But we're the same whether our body is human or wolf. We can never
completely disappear into our wolf nature.” Kato blinked in agreement. “Kato
lives in wolf form most of the time and has for almost a century. He's still
both.”

“That sounds so much simpler.” The Pup looked at the Elder
Wolf with longing.

It would seem so. It is not.

I relayed the old wolf's message. “His life is far from
simple.” I grinned at the Elder Wolf.

“There's somethin' between Kato and you, right?” Nathan
asked.

“He is my teacher,” I said proudly.

“What does he teach you?”

Once I heard the direct question, I didn't know how to
respond. Kato, too, waited for my answer. I thought carefully and spoke
deliberately. “He's teaching me to know who I am and accept what I am. He helps
me see my choices for what they really are instead of through a distorted lens
based on insecurity of who I am and fear of what I am.”

Nathan stared at me with wide eyes. “And I thought math was
hard.”

Kato met each pair of eyes in friendship. He rose fluidly
and trotted into the dark.

“Where's he going?” Nathan asked.

“He's patrolling,” Billie answered. “He's an Ethiopian Wolf.
They patrol a lot. With Kato watching over us, we don't have to sleep with one
ear open.”

“That sounds nice,” Nathan yawned.

“I agree.” I followed with a yawn of my own. I opened the
sleeping bag and climbed inside, keeping my clothes on this time. Billie joined
me, curling an arm around me protectively.

“Wolves sleep together. It's part of being Pack, and it's
about friendship and comfort. It doesn't have a sexual meaning for us unless we
want it to,” she told Nathan. “There isn't enough sleeping bag for everyone, so
you'll be warmer in wolf form. Curl up with us. Kato will do the same when he
comes back.”

“That sounds nice,” he said again and shimmered into wolf
form. Turning in a circle, he settled himself on top of my feet and rested his
tail over his nose.

He's very fond of you,
Billie commented.

I like him too,
I replied genuinely.
And he's
keeping my feet toasty warm. Bonus points for that.

She chuckled out loud and Nathan's ears twitched. I fell
asleep with her breath on the back of my neck, her arm around me, a Pup on my
feet, and a friend watching over us all.

Amy bristled, wondering why she’d insisted on coming. They'd
received word of Billie and Sadie's whereabouts the night before. The couple
had checked into a hotel north of Sun Valley using Billie's real name. Billie
knew they could track her quickly through hotel records. Amy and Kathryn seemed
to be the only ones who found this odd enough to question. The hunting party
left immediately, reaching the hotel by sunset but finding no sign of the
couple.

After talking to the staff and inspecting the room, the
Wolves gathered in the parking lot looking over topographical maps. Kathryn
studied the lines and contours for a few minutes before circling a region
northwest of the hotel with her finger. “Billie is within this area.”

“How could you possibly know that?” someone asked.

Kathryn gazed steadily at him, meeting his insolent eyes as
if considering whether or not to bother explaining. She held herself regally,
as always, and spoke to the Wolf with authority. “Billie prefers the wilderness
to a hotel. She would not rent a room for the night, and the manager verified
they stayed only a couple hours. Sadie also loves the wilderness and though she
may choose a hotel, she is perfectly comfortable in the mountains.

“They stayed only long enough to shower and eat and did not
even make love in the room. They had reason to be presentable and were either
in a hurry or uncomfortable in their surroundings. Remember they are newly
mated and usually smell of their lovemaking. They had business here, so they
are likely still nearby.” She pointed at the same section of the map. “This
area consists of heavy mountain terrain and high altitudes. It is the most
inhospitable terrain around here for Humans, minimizing accidental discovery.
Caves and fresh water are abundant, making it suitable for Sadie. It's an ideal
environment for a Wolf and non-Wolf couple to hide.

“They are most likely here.” She pointed to a spot on the
map. “It is less than a half day from the highway at Sadie's speed with quick
access to even more isolated areas.” She dragged a manicured finger slightly
south. “We'll camp here and leave at daybreak, searching north-northwest along
this ridgeline until we catch a scent.”

“If you think she's there, why don't we just go to that spot
now?”

“If I'm wrong, we could lose days. If I'm right, we only
lose a few hours. Would you like to question my tracking abilities further or is
a hundred fifty years' experience sufficient?”

He backed down, but Richard continued where he left off.
“You're assuming Billie is calling the shots. Sadie is in control now.”

She stood tall as she faced her husband, the few inches in
height making no difference. “Either way the plan is sound. Billie knows how to
hide from us. Sadie does not, and she would trust Billie's knowledge. I am not
convinced that Billie is collared, and I find the assumption insulting and
dangerous. Either way the plan is sound.”

Richard looked at his mate impudently. “If you’re not
convinced, why are you here? I hope you’re not planning to let them get away.”

She folded the map without breaking eye contact. “I have no
such plans. I do not believe we understand what happened to Nathan and John,
and I intend to find out. I wish to find them as much as you, only for
different reasons.”

He huffed and turned his back on his mate. Only Amy noticed
how much his response hurt her friend. “If he breaks his leg, do I have to set
it right away or can I enjoy it first?”

Richard's shoulders stiffened from ten feet away. She knew
he would hear her remark. Kathryn touched the medic's arm in warning. “There is
no benefit to inflaming the situation further, dear.”

She snorted. “I know. I'm sorry. I'm worried about Billie
and Sadie. I don't believe Sadie would collar Billie. Gary's story doesn't add
up, and they used Billie's name here. Whatever they're doing, they're not even
trying to hide it, and I can't figure out how that makes sense. I want to hear
what's going on from them.”

“As do I,” Kathryn agreed.

The hunting party piled into two vehicles with Kathryn and
Amy in the lead SUV. North along the highway and then west on a dirt road, they
drove until they reached the spot Kathryn chose. They found a place to sleep
away from the road and spent the night in a pile of fur under the stars.

The hunt resumed at the break of day. Racing through the
mountains as wolves, they could cover ground quickly. Kathryn chose the pace,
direction, and search formation. Each Wolf kept their nose up for any scent.
They took nothing with them except for the fur-pack, which Amy carried on her
back like a Saint Bernard in one of her favorite old cartoons. She could hope
all day that her skills wouldn't be needed, but she knew better. Most of all
she hoped she wouldn't have to bury a friend before the crisis ended.

* * *

I woke with my arm draped across Nathan's
shoulders. Sometime during the night he'd moved, and his fur tickled my nose.
He whimpered and his feet twitched as if running from the nightmare that
gripped him. The Pup's chest rose and fell unsteadily, making his nose flare
with every gasp. Remembering how Billie once calmed from the smell of my
breath, I leaned into him. My breath fell on his nose, and I squeezed him
tighter. His breathing evened out a bit, but the nightmare continued.

Billie, barely awake behind me, noticed Nathan's distress
and slipped out of the sleeping bag quietly. Shimmering into wolf form, she
curled beside him and rested her head on his neck. Sandwiched between us, his
twitching and whimpering abated, and he slept a little more peacefully. I lay
in a state of half sleep, drifting back and forth between thoughts and dreams.

I could tell when he woke. He didn't rise right away,
letting our nearness chase away his distress. Billie licked him on the face
like a puppy. “The nightmares will fade,” I whispered. “No one will ever collar
you again. Billie and I will make sure of that,” I promised him. I couldn't
guarantee it, but we would do everything in our power to keep the promise. He
believed me and felt safe.

Kato joined us after returning from his usual morning
patrol. He stretched the full length of his body and lay across all three of
us, resting his head on my hip.

The Pack is coming,
Kato informed me with no
preamble.

Shit!
Billie noticed my reaction and perked her ears
towards me without disturbing Nathan.

This is as it should be. We must speak together.

“
Kato would like to talk to us.” I relayed his
communication reluctantly. Cuddling a while longer sounded much more pleasant
than getting up. Dealing with angry Wolves didn't appeal to me at all.

In moments everyone had human vocal cords, and we sat in a
circle. Nathan, still unaccustomed to nudity, drew an edge of the sleeping bag
over his lap. It disconcerted me less than before. Casting out my senses, I
found the hunting party. Kato repeated himself to Billie and Nathan. “The Pack
is coming. This is as it should be.”

“They're a few miles away in that direction,” I pointed. I
couldn't tell south from east half the time. “Amy and Kathryn are with them.” I
missed them and found their presence in the hunting party reassuring.

“Who else?” Billie sat erect and listened intently.
Distantly I found it bizarre that she could be all business while completely
naked.

“Jason, Richard, Phil, the Wolf who fixed my door after
Jason broke it, and four I've never met.”

“What do you sense of their mood?”

“Overall, they're angry at me and determined to find us. Amy
and Kathryn are determined, but they're mad at the others, not me.”

Billie longed to see her packmates but anticipated a
confrontation when they arrived. She didn’t want to fight them. “Kato, what do
you advise?” she asked the old Wolf.

“If you seek a fight, you will find battle. If you seek friendship,
you will find friends. What you seek you will find.”

Billie understood and decided on a plan in seconds. “They
are our packmates. We welcome them and talk to them. We only fight to defend
ourselves and then only as a last resort. Sadie, if you use magepower against
them, we'll never be able to go home.”

“I know,” I replied. “I won't unless the only other option
is to let one of us die.”

She nodded and faced Nathan. “The instinct to fight for
those we love is elevated when we become Wolf. Follow my orders even if you
don't want to.”

He looked to me for approval, and I shook my head perplexed.
“Billie is your Beta.”
Why is he looking at me instead of you?

Our instincts are to follow the strongest Wolf in the
Pack. The strongest Wolf that we trust. In his eyes, you are that person.

Oh.
“I am not Wolf, Nathan. I am Mage. I have less
authority in the pack than you do, and you’re a Pup. Billie is our Beta.” I
looked directly at my mate. “Mine too.”

He looked between us and argued. “But you can protect us like
ya did yesterday.”

Billie bristled slightly at the indirect challenge to her
authority. If he did not recognize her as Beta, he could put all of us in
danger. I was coming to understand the nature of Wolf culture. “Those were
Mages. That was a different kind of situation, and my power as a Mage could
handle it best. I won't use that power against most people, and especially not
our packmates. Without that, I’m no stronger than a Human. Billie can protect
us a lot better than I can. I trust my Beta to keep us safe.”

You speak well, Muzi.

I spoke the truth. She is Beta, and I have no right to
challenge that.

You speak well.

He thought hard before nodding at Billie. “I'll follow yer
orders, Beta.”

“Good.” She showed her teeth in a wolf-like grin.

He dropped his eyes to his knees, reassured a little by our
confidence. Kato followed the conversation in silent amusement.

“Do I smell like a Mage today?” I asked Billie.

“It's fading, but yes,” she admitted and added. “It's not an
attractive smell.”

“That's going to make reasonable conversation more
difficult.” I pondered my options but didn't find any.

“Probably. I'll tell them what happened yesterday. I'll
explain everything. If they won't listen to me, maybe they'll listen to Kato.
Anything else, Eldest?”

“What you seek you will find. You choose your path wisely.
Their path is of their own choosing.” He shimmered back into wolf form and lay
at the mouth of the cave, nose high in expectation of company.

Their path is of their own choosing
, I repeated to
Billie.
I think that means if this goes badly, it's not our fault.
She
agreed.

* * *

Phil yipped, signaling for the hunting party to
gather around him. Amy raced towards the younger Wolf, excitement and dread
building in equal proportions. She smelled Nathan's distinct scent as she
neared the others. She hadn't anticipated this, and it brought new questions to
the already bewildering puzzle. She could not think of a good explanation for
Nathan's presence with Billie and Sadie. She didn’t like the only plausible reason
that came to mind.

Had Sadie collared Nathan after all? That would mean Billie
was probably collared as well. For the first time, she questioned what she
thought she knew about Sadie. Maybe she'd been wrong about the Mage. Her heart
sank into the ground, and she barely had the motivation to continue.

They followed Nathan’s scent up a narrow valley. The Wolves
could feel the end of the hunt drawing near, and it excited most of them. Amy
no longer wanted to catch their prey.

At the top of a crest, the Pack found what they hunted. Side
by side, they looked down on a long narrow valley cut through the middle by a
small creek. It extended far into the distance, ending at a mountain lake. Not
far below the ridge, a cave jutted out of bare rock with Billie and Nathan
sitting near the mouth staring up at them. Her heart soared.

Billie watched as if waiting for the hunting party to
arrive. Nathan noticed the line of Wolves a moment later and jumped. She
couldn't hear what he said, but Billie motioned for him to calm down. With a
wave of her hand, Billie invited the Wolves to join her.

The hunting party approached cautiously, heads lowered and
hackles slightly raised. Jason took point, with Richard right behind him.
Everyone else fanned out as they drew near their former Beta and the Wolf
responsible for the death of their packmate. Amy smelled fear on almost every
Wolf. Only Billie and Jason seemed exempt. The two most powerful Wolves in the
Pacific Northwest faced each other.

Kathryn joined Amy in shared concern for the pending
conflict now that it had come. They held back slightly and Amy shrugged out of
the fur-pack, dropping it where it lay. Her nose picked up another scent. Kato?
That changed everything, and she looked with fresh eyes at the Wolves in front
of her.

Nathan's eyes shone clear, void of the haunted stare they
once possessed. Somehow he seemed more intelligent than before. She took a step
forward, nose stretched out curiously, and stared into the eyes of a Wolf she’d
known for over seven years. Billie met her eyes, brilliantly green, full of
life, and overjoyed to see her. All doubt faded, and she knew her friend was
not collared.

Amy couldn't contain her delight. She bounded forward,
ignoring Jason's growled order to stop. Nathan jumped away from the white wolf
racing towards them, but Billie opened her arms. Billie laughed at Amy’s fully
body tackle, overjoyed at the greeting. She asked the foremost question in her
mind. “Is Matthew alive?” Amy nodded, and Billie breathed a sigh of relief.

Hearing a footstep behind Billie, Amy turned her head. Sadie
looked down at her from the cave entrance with radiant eyes, Kato in wolf form
beside her. Untangling from Billie's grasp, she raced towards her friend. In
her excitement, she forgot that Sadie lacked a Wolf’s strength and build. Her
weight knocked the woman to the ground heavily, but Sadie only laughed, tears
streaming down her cheeks.