Psyche Honor (Psyche Moon) (26 page)

Gladly,
I told her.
I'm going to watch over our
territory no matter what. I won't let someone sneak up on us like that again.

Good. If he doesn't allow you to train anyone, will you
help us understand magepower anyway? It would have to be completely informal,
just you being you. When you show us your abilities and explain the weaknesses,
we can use that to our advantage. Like when you showed us the parrot and
pointed out it lacked an odor.

If Matthew had known that, he wouldn't have been fooled
by my illusion, and I'd be dead. That's the kind of advantage you need.
I
agreed even though it made my skin crawl.

I don’t like that example anymore.
Billie's eyes
narrowed.
But yes.

I filled her in on my day, and her mood lightened. When I
got to the part about Amy and Nathan, she whooped in delight.
She deserves
it!
She pulled me close and winced in pain.

Amy said no hanky panky until you've eaten and rested.
You're only halfway there.

Ignore Amy. I want you.

She'll chew off my ear and eat it if I put a rib through
your lung. But God, it's tempting.
Billie laughed so loud she coughed and
held her ribs.

I promise not to hurt myself.

You are already hurt. You look like hell!

No super-strength. No acrobatics. Nice and gentle. No
injuries. I promise.
She slipped her hands under my shirt and caressed bare
skin on my sides. I caved and traced a line down her stomach to the edge of red
curly hair below. She buried her face in my neck, nipping and nibbling until I
shivered deliciously.

I reached around, resting a hand on her hip, and she winced
despite the gentleness of my touch. Jerking back, I reached around front and
found another tender spot. I pulled back entirely. “I’m having a hard time
figuring out where to touch you that doesn’t hurt.”

“Touch me anyway,” she invited, but I refused. “Okay. Avoid
the face, ribs, leg, and kidneys. Anywhere else. Just touch me,” she pleaded.
After the brutal day, she needed a little tenderness and I couldn’t say no.

“Okay. If you get off that broken leg.” She did as I asked,
finding a comfortable position on her back while I slipped out of my clothes.
Lying beside her, I ran gentle fingers over her belly. Her breath deepened and
her tensions eased as I caressed every unbruised part of her I could find. She
closed her eyes and absorbed my attentions, the back of her hand moving over my
belly absently.

I didn’t bring her to orgasm, Amy’s concern for her broken
ribs echoing in my mind. I gave her the tenderness she wanted and helped rid
her mind of Pack problems for a while.

We headed back to camp feeling lighter than we left. Billie
went from exhausted to completely drained, the physical and emotional toll of
the day creeping up on her. Dusk settled in, and we looked forward to a good
night's sleep.

Amy caught sight of us and waved hello. As we neared, her
smile transformed into tightly pursed lips, and she crossed her arms over her
bare chest. Air rushed through her flared nose in angry puffs. Blazing eyes
landed squarely on me, ignoring Billie entirely, and I cringed. “I knew she
would ignore me. But I thought you would listen, Sadie.” Half a dozen pairs of
furry ears twitched our way curiously, and every head turned. I felt my cheeks burn
red.

I sputtered, babbling in discomfort. “I'm sorry. See? She’s
fine. And she quit walking on her broken leg for a while.” Amy didn't see the
value of the rationalization, and I continued rambling recklessly. “How am I
supposed to keep my hands off of her, Amy? Have you seen her?” Still she didn't
back down, and Billie shook with silent laughter. I pointed a finger at my mate
desperately. “It's her fault. Can I keep my ear?”

The valley erupted in laughter, Amy's glare piercing the
humor like an icepick. Billie hooked her arm in mine and saved me from the
medic's wrath. I realized they'd all been her target at one point or another
and they enjoyed the show every time the bull's-eye landed on someone else. I
found the humor in it, but my cheeks still burned. “Amy's too laid-back,” Billie
told me. “We think she saves every ounce of dominance to bullying her patients
into doing what she says.”

As Billie led me away from the humiliating scene, I
overheard Nathan speaking to Amy. His compliment distracted me. “In the last
two days, I've seen Sadie go up 'gainst Mages 'n face a mob o' angry Wolves
without blinking. You're tougher than you look.”

“Aw, Nate! You're sweet.”

They want to hear me tell them what happened with the
Mages, don’t they?
I asked Billie.
Is that a good idea?

It’s a very good idea,
Billie replied.
Especially
if you don’t hold back. They’ll hear your side and smell the truth on you.

Reluctantly, I invited the Wolves to gather around to hear
my story. Billie lay on her back with her head in my lap and listened along
with the rest. She could barely keep her eyes open. As suggested, I told them
everything. I let them see the extent of my power, though I refrained using the
word Kratos and didn’t pronounce myself the most powerful of all Mages. I showed
my internal struggles about the deception and how it sickened me to call Billie
my pet. As I bragged about spying on Billie at the dojo, their eyes grew wide,
and they looked at Billie in disbelief. She smiled contentedly, proud that I’d
accomplished something no Wolf could.

I told them why I didn’t prevent Gary from hearing my
conversation with Cassandra. “She already told me about her pet Humans. It
takes time to claim a Wolf, but Humans are easy. She views everyone as either a
tool to get what she wants or an obstacle in her way, including other Mages.
That’s all I was to her, too. If she knew Gary was important to me or connected
to the Pack, she would have claimed him and used him to her advantage. So I
made sure he looked unimportant.”

Walking into the Mage den with Billie on my arm impressed
them the most. A couple of them cheered when I killed the Mage who tried to
enter Billie’s mind. When I reached the part about my grandmother, I stopped.
Looking at the ground and lowering my eyes, I said, “Cassandra’s mother and my
grandmother are sisters, and she told me things about my family. I don’t think
I can talk about that yet. They were terrified and chose to end their own
lives.”

“Do you think anyone will come after you for what you did?” Phil
asked, concerned for my safety.

I replied honestly. “I know this isn’t over, but I don’t
know what’s going to happen next. I will stop anyone who tries to mess with me,
Billie, or my pack again.” By the end of my story, every one of them believed
me. Still, they did not all trust me, Richard among those who still held my
race against me. Old prejudices die hard. Richard listened in silence and
studiously ignored Kathryn.

After I finished, they turned to Nathan and Billie to tell
their parts of the story. We talked late into the night until I yawned
repetitively. “I don’t know how you guys can do so much on so little sleep, but
I’m headed to bed.”

Jason had my sleeping bag, so I curled up between two trees
and Billie, Nathan, Kato, Kathryn, and Phil surrounded me with their fur and
body heat. Amy gave her apologies, saying she would stay with Jason. “That
bullheaded Alpha won't stay put if I don't keep threatening to break his foot.
He won't think it's cute if I do it.”

I slept as warm as in a sleeping bag and enjoyed it much
more.

Morning dawned, crisp with the promise of fall. We
continued much as we had the day before. The Wolves ran and hunted. Some
avoided me while others showed the strength of our friendship.

Amy informed Billie that Jason wanted to talk to her again.
She knew they had to resume negotiations.
Wish me luck,
she requested
grimly.

I know what I want out of this, but I'll take what you
can get. I want this to work. Good luck.
She pressed her forehead to mine
and entered the cave, tense but determined.

“Aaaah!” Amy stretched. “Jason's stable, and I get a break.”
She turned to Nathan who'd barely left my side since we woke. Her eyes shone
bright with excitement and longing. “Want to run with me?”

He puffed with pleasure. “Yeah!”

“Great!” She shimmered into her stunning Arctic Wolf form,
and he followed, becoming a small red wolf. He looked more like a large fox
than a wolf compared to the rest. Amy bowed playfully and nipped at his chin.
She outweighed him and appeared even larger with her masses of fur. Surprised
by her behavior, he jumped back. She took off at top speed into the trees. He
looked at me puzzled.

“What are you waiting for?” I laughed. “Go catch her.” He
yipped and bolted after the Arctic Wolf.

Kato, sitting beside me, watched them race off. His eyes
filled with joy, mirroring mine. With Billie talking to Jason, Amy running with
Nathan, and Kathryn seeking solace down the creek, Kato was my only friend in
the valley. The remaining Wolves, though no longer enemies, largely avoided me.
I placed a hand on his shoulder seeking comfort.

Your place within the pack is changing,
he told me.

Is it changing for the better?
I asked, daring to
hope.

Conflict and difficulties are sometimes part of change.
Only through change will you find improvement.

I sighed.
So whatever happens, I should be patient that
it will get better.

Better and worse are a matter of perception. The changes
are necessary for what is to come.

That sounded ominous.
What is coming?

The conflict between Wolves and Mages has endured since
long before I was born. It is escalating. There is much to be done.

Can I have a week off first?
I asked wryly.

Rest and enjoy as you are able.
That sounded like a
no.

I considered his words with a heavy heart.
A conflict
between Wolves and Mages. An escalating conflict. I'm going to be right in the
center of the battle, aren't I?

With you in the center, less blood will be shed.

I looked around the valley at my packmates.
I'll do
whatever I can.

As will I,
he assured me.
Your mate has a part to
play as well and must remain Beta if she is to play it in full. You are not
alone in this.

That helps a lot.
I smiled at him.

Richard continued to avoid Kathryn. When she approached him
after her walk, he turned his back on her. She came close to tears but refused
to shed them, seeking solitude instead. It disturbed me to see them falling
apart. I didn't have to dig into his mind to understand what the problem was.
Kato had shamed him in front of his mate and the entire pack. He knew Kato
spoke the truth, and he refused to face it, so he withdrew and hid behind
defensiveness.

He hadn't even acknowledged me or Billie since the faceoff,
and I decided it was time to say something. I waited until he was alone and out
of earshot from the others. Uneasy, I walked up to him, and he whipped his head
around, glaring. I stopped in my tracks, nervous.

“What do you want?” he snarled.

“I just want to talk,” I said, holding my ground but coming
no closer.

His mouth worked before sound came out. “Why?”

“Because you're hurting Kathryn,” I blurted. “We were
friends and you turned on me. That hurts more from you than from anyone else.
You did the same thing to Billie, and she was your best friend. Now you're
doing it to Kathryn, and that's so much worse. She doesn't deserve it.”

“You have no right to talk to me about Kathryn.” He brooded.

“You're probably right,” I admitted. “I'm doing it anyway.
You and I ... we're not okay. Maybe we never will be. Right now I don't care.
What you did to me was wrong, and I'm still mad at you even though I understand
it given your history with Mages. What you're doing to Kathryn is
incomprehensible. It's not too late to make it right with her, but that won't
be true for much longer.”

 He returned my speech with an icy stare. He seemed hollowed
out and putting up a defensive front to hide it. I turned and left him alone,
not sure if I'd helped the situation or made it much worse.

Billie stayed with Jason most of the morning. As time went
on, I was increasingly tempted to check in with Billie. Admittedly, if I could
have done so without Jason sensing my presence, I might have. Others felt the
same way, casting anxious glances at the mouth of the cave.

At last Billie's voice appeared in my mind. I'd been waiting
for it so intensely that it startled me.
Love, would you join us? Jason
wants to talk to you.

Of course.
I jumped up and glanced at Kato, who
nodded and softened his eyes in encouragement.

In the cave, Jason sat upright. He looked better, which
relieved me to no end. His gaze remained stony, and Billie scowled. My
nervousness rose as I sensed her mood. I sat by Billie and waited for someone
else to begin.

“Having a Mage in the pack would be a mistake.” That was not
the conversation starter I’d hoped for and resentment began to build. “You've
proved that you won't willingly hurt us and you're even willing to protect us.
It’s still a mistake. Mages and Wolves have been enemies for too long to ignore
the problems with having you around.” He waited for an argument, but I didn't
give one. He continued. “You can come home, and you have the protection of the
pack, but that's it. You may not attend pack meetings, and Billie may not
discuss Elder Meetings with you. You are not allowed to enter the mind of
anyone in the pack except Billie's. Are you willing to follow these rules?”

“What about Kato?”

“Kato can make his own decision about that. He's the only
one. If anyone else asks, your answer is no.”

I nodded. “Staying out of pack minds is something I'd do
anyway. As for my Pack Status, I do not believe that this is the best solution.
I could help the pack with adversarial Mages and more, but not as well with my
hands tied. The others will see that you don't trust me, and it will cause more
problems than it will solve. But I want to come home, live with Billie, and
have the pack in my life. So I told Billie that I would follow whatever
agreement she made with you. Yes, I'm willing to follow your rules if that's
what the two of you agreed on.”

Billie nodded in affirmation of her agreement. Jason
replied, “Good.”

“Will you keep Richard, Adrienne, and any others like them
from harassing me?”

“You have my word.” His word was good enough for me.

“Can I join you on the full moons?”

“No.” I felt Billie bristle, but she didn't show it in her
expression or body language. This was a matter of contention for her. They'd
obviously argued about it. “And Billie can't choose to spend them with you if
she wants to be Beta.”

“I was looking forward to that,” I lamented and remembered
Kato's words. “But being Beta is important, to her and to the pack. I won't ask
her to give that up for any reason.” Billie noticed my set jaw and
determination. She sensed a deeper reason in my resolve but she didn't ask.

“Anything else?” He didn't like being grilled, and his
question came out in a snarl.

“Thank you for not threatening to kill me this time.” It
came out snide. I would do as he asked, but I wouldn't be meek, especially if
he liked my teeth.

“Hmmmph. Then that's it for now. Billie, tell everyone we
hike out in two hours.”

She appraised her Alpha critically. “Amy already said
neither of us should hike out today. They would enjoy another night out here.
They don't have to know why.”

“Two hours.” She nodded and stood. I followed her out into
the sunlight.

She waved at Kathryn and Richard to join us. “We leave in
two hours. Will you spread the word?”

“Of course, dear,” Kathryn replied. “How did it go with
Jason?” She relayed the agreement made for our return with business-like
detachment, including Jason's promise that no pack member would harass me.
Kathryn saw her distaste. “Are you satisfied with the arrangement?”

“We agreed to it, and we will follow it.” I nodded, backing
Billie up. “Everyone will. We cannot be divided.”

Richard listened but didn't respond. Silence from the
normally gregarious man was disquieting. His barriers, higher than ever, meant
I could sense little from his surface emotions.

“I'm going to put Nathan as Phil's new roommate. He seems to
understand that Nathan wasn't the one who killed John, and that will give them
a chance to mend any resentment. He's adjusting well, but he should have a week
or two to settle into city life as a Wolf. The pack account will cover his
expenses at first. Richard, would you find him a suitable job paired with
another Wolf? I don't care if his income covers his expenses for a while.
Making sure he's stable after everything he's been through is more important.
The Pack will cover the rest if needed.”

“I'll find him something,” he replied.

She turned her attention to Kathryn and described where we
parked the Jeep. “Is that anywhere near your vehicles?”

“It's only a slight detour.”

There are a few Humans I should free on the way home,
I reminded her.

“Do you have room for Nathan? Sadie would like to stop and
free the remaining Human pets on the way home. I bet he wants to be with Amy
anyway.”

She smiled in delight at the budding relationship. “We have
room for him.”

“Okay. Then let's call everyone back from the run and get
this place cleaned up.” She was Beta again, a comfortable role for everyone.
Kathryn and Richard went to work. With a howl, he called back anyone not in
camp, and they trickled in over the next half hour.

Amy and Nathan, the last to arrive, approached Billie, and I
with linked arms. Amy had a favor to ask of me. “Would you gather some more of
that root to take home? It's doing Jason worlds of good, and I'd like to have
extra in case someone else whacks their head.”

“Sure. How was your run?” I asked eagerly.

Nathan blushed, confirming my suspicion. Amy replied for
them both, squeezing Nathan's arm in hers. “It was great! He's so much nicer
now than he was before.”

“He didn't grab your ass this time?” Billie teased the new
couple.

“Oh, he did, but it took a bit to convince him,” Amy
replied. Nathan looked like he wanted to disappear.

I felt for him. “They do that to me too,” I told the Pup.
“It looks like you're riding back with Amy.” That made him feel better. “I'll
go get that root.”

Kato joined me, giving us a few minutes alone after the
stressful meeting with Jason.
What distresses you, Muzi?

It's petty,
I admitted,
but Jason didn’t thank me.

Do you seek recognition?

I don't know what I'm looking for, but not what I'm
getting. He's treating me like something he stepped on and can't get off of his
shoe. After all I did, and what I went through for the sake of the pack, he's
treating me like a problem.

He is stubborn. He is realizing he is not the most
powerful person in his pack. He is now third. This is not easy for someone like
him.

I can understand that,
I admitted.
It still rubs
me the wrong way.

I chose Jason for Alpha because of his leadership and
strength. He is a strong leader and an honorable man. His power made it
possible, but it was not why I chose him. It is the same with you. You will not
gain recognition and gratitude as often as is deserved in the coming conflict.
Be grateful for what you have and the rest will distress you less.

Taking his advice, I listed them.
I have Billie, and
we're returning home. I have Amy, Kathryn, and Nathan as good friends. I have
you, Muso. Actually I have a lot more than I had a few months ago.

You are rich in friendships. Be cautious with your words
to Richard. He is still a cornered wolf. I said much that he did not want to
hear and is only willing to hear because of our long friendship. He needs time
to lick his wounds undisturbed.

I'll give him space. I don't want to be around him
anyway.

None deserve forgiveness, Muzi. It is a gift,
he
reprimanded gently.

I'd heard similar sayings, and I knew it to be true. As I’d
discovered before, forgiveness isn’t easy. Kato sensed my mind working through
it and let me do so. We found the root, and he gave instructions to relay to
Amy about its storage and use.

I've enjoyed being able to spend so much time with you
these past few days. Will I see you much when I'm home?

I will come often. I have much to teach you of Sages.
I was relieved.

We cleaned up the area so that no trace of human presence
remained. If anyone stumbled upon the valley, they'd notice wolf tracks and an
elk carcass, but no residue of anyone bipedal. Nathan had my pack ready, and he
lifted it so I could strap it in place easily. “Just say the word, and I'll
give ya a break from this thing,” he offered.

“I'll let you know if I get tired.” I thanked him. “How's it
going with Amy?” I asked.

“She's somethin' special.” His eyes grew dreamy.

“She's very special. I'm happy for you.”