“You so sure you know what she needs?” My heart gave a wild thump as I remembered how well, the one time we’d slept together, he’d seemed to know exactly what I’d needed.
Flynn busied himself with his camera, oblivious to where my thoughts had gone. “One thing I’m good at is photography. So, yeah. I know what she needs.” He straightened without looking at me and twirled his finger around. As I turned, he said, “Put the bra back on. I want the mask off now and act like you’re turning to look at me, but stop just shy of it. Let your hair hide your face, then start to take off the bra.”
This felt more natural.
And…erotic.
By the time we segued into the third section of the session, I couldn’t even lie about needing the robe. My cheeks were so flushed that, before Flynn moved to drag a mattress under the hot lights, he told me to splash some cold water on my face. The last session was going to be done sans make-up anyway. I was glad he’d told me to go because the last thing I wanted to see at the moment were Flynn’s muscles flexing while he pulled a mattress over to the spot where the two of us had...
A couple of deep, steadying breaths and a splash of cold water and I was able to push the memories out of my head, but it took an effort. More of one than I liked. I pulled on the robe even though I wasn’t cold.
“This client just wants something artistic. Creative.”
I shot Flynn a look, dread curling through me. But he wasn’t looking at me. He had a crate full of material and I watched as he pulled out what looked like pieces of velvet, ribbon…rope.
I started shaking my head when my brain jumped to the logical conclusion. “I don’t think I like the idea of being tied up.”
Under his breath, he made a noise of some kind before answering me, “Not tying you up. Just using it in the picture. Relax, Tennessee.”
Relax.
Relax
? I might have attempted to give some sort of snarky comeback, but I’d developed some sort of breathing issue in the past thirty seconds. Shrugging out of the robe, I settled on the edge of the mattress and laid down, following his gestures. When he draped the rope over my skin, I fought not to react, but this time, I didn’t succeed. His eyes flew up to meet my mine as my breathing hitched.
“This…” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and I could see the emotions warring on his face.
My hands curled into fists. I almost reached for him, almost grabbed him and kissed him and…
His eyes moved down to his hands. “It won’t take too long. She doesn’t want anything specific so I’m just going with my gut.”
He turned away and I felt like I’d been left adrift.
After taking several shots, he shifted from the rope to the ribbon. This time, he didn’t speak or look at my face. It didn’t make it any easier for me to feel the heat from his hands as he arranged the ribbon.
And then it was time for the velvet.
I sat on the edge of the mattress and he knelt in front of me, using one length to wrap around my wrists, another to tie around my eyes in a pseudo blindfold. Then he wound one around my breasts so that it covered my nipples and nothing else.
I tried to ignore his hands, but from time to time, the roughened pads of his fingertips brushed my skin. It was so quick, so faint, I knew it was just accidental, but still, even the light contact left my skin sizzling. Then, as he secured the velvet behind my back, I wasn’t able to muffle the moan as the scent of him overwhelmed me. I sucked in a breath and, although I knew I must have been imagining it, I had the craziest sensation that he was just a breath away, waiting to kiss me.
I swayed forward, ready for his lips to touch mine. Wanting him to kiss me.
I licked my lips in anticipation and the camera started to snap over and over.
Flynn started to bite off instructions in a rapid-fire voice, talking so fast that I could barely keep up. I went from sitting on the edge of the mattress to lying down to kneeling and then standing up, my arms overhead and then stretching them down in front of me with my head bowed. I was sweating before I realized it and breathing hard.
And my nipples ached, throbbing in time with another part of my body.
“Bring your arms in, thrust your breasts out, head back…”
I did it and held still, waiting for the next command.
But it didn’t come. After taut, heavy seconds ticked away and there were no more pictures, I said, “Flynn?”
My throat was dry and raspy.
“We’re done.”
He was on the far side of the room. I tore the ribbon from my eyes just in time to see him disappear into the bathroom without another word.
I was already dressed when he emerged, my hands still trembling slightly. This had been a really bad idea. I glanced at him. His hair looked oddly damp, as if he’d been splashing water on his face, and I quickly looked away, not wanting to meet that penetrating blue. I went back to scrolling through the pictures. He’d taken so many.
“Here.” He held out his hand for the camera. “I’ll load them on the computer. It’s quicker that way.”
“You don’t need…”
He just continued to wait so I shrugged and turned it over. I would feel better seeing. Or maybe not. I still wasn’t sure.
Posing naked was so far outside my comfort zone and I ended up holding my breath as I waited for the images to load. Very few actually showed me naked though. I’d read enough romance and seen enough of these sort of covers to know that even the ones where I was naked, the nudity could easily be obscured.
“They’re beautiful,” I said, my voice husky.
“Easy to take good pictures when you’ve got a good model,” Flynn said with a self-deprecating shrug. He bent over a black portfolio and I watched as he scrawled his name on a check. The sound of paper tearing seemed terribly loud and he turned, shoving it into my hand. “Here. You did good work.”
Mute, I nodded and continued to eye the images, seeing them in a different light now. I wasn’t just naked in them, crazy as that sounded. It seemed as though he’d pulled hidden secrets out of me, unknown desires. Things I wouldn’t let myself look at.
And now the whole world would see them.
Now Flynn could see them.
“Thank you,” I said abruptly. Then, before he could see anything else, I hurriedly grabbed my things and left.
This had been a mistake. I’d needed the money and I wasn’t sorry I’d done it, but this was the last time.
Once Edward and I got back from our honeymoon, I’d find a job. A real one. I’d feel better about spending Edward’s money if it was actually our money, and it would only be our money if I was doing something to contribute, no matter how small that amount was.
There was one thing I wouldn’t be doing though. I wouldn’t be working with Flynn anymore.
No way in hell.
Chapter 9
Mind made up, I felt more focused and steadier as I spent the next few hours shopping with my newly earned money. Once I was done with the dress and Edward’s gift, I’d split the rest between my credit cards and give myself some breathing room there.
It wasn’t long before I found the perfect dress for a small, intimate wedding and if it was wrong of me to take absolute delight in showing it to nobody, then, well…I was wrong. I was tired of having to check in with everybody about everything.
I’d been the middle child of six and the good kid. My parents had been far from neglectful, but I’d taken care of myself a lot as a child. Then I’d moved here and hadn’t needed to be accountable to anyone but myself. My parents had known I’d keep my grades up to maintain my scholarship and my professors had appreciated having a self-motivated student. Kendra and I had shared an apartment and let each other know where we were going out of common courtesy, but I’d never felt like I’d needed to report to her. I’d taken my freedom for granted and lately, I felt like I was being smothered.
Edward texted me three times during the day, just being his solicitous self, but each time, I was tempted to just ignore him, which made me feel bad. It wasn’t that I hated hearing from him, but these weren’t texts about his day or just sweet little messages to let me know he was thinking about me. Each one made me feel like a child having a parent check up on them. It might’ve been unfair, but it was how I felt.
I
did
ignore the calls and texts from Claire. That didn’t make me feel bad at all. In fact, it gave me quite a bit of vindictive pleasure.
On my last stop of the afternoon, I collapsed into one of the padded chairs and gave Honey a grateful smile when she brought me a tall glass of sweet tea. The taste of peaches exploded on my tongue and I could have kissed her. People up north just couldn’t make it like someone from the south.
“I needed that,” I said, sighing happily.
“I could tell.” She sat down across from me, smiling as she lifted her own glass to her lips. “You look like you’ve been running around in circles, child, chasing your own tail.”
“Close.”
And tomorrow, I’d be retracing my steps, going to try on the dress again. It had to be let out at the bust and taken in at the waist, but thanks to my height and some heels, it didn’t need hemming. The rush job was costing a pretty penny, but the dress was worth it. I was going to wear the shoes I’d originally bought for October so that was one thing off my mind. I figured they’d be broken in for the big ceremony that way. Mentally going through the to-do list, I didn’t realize I’d zoned out until Honey snapped her fingers in front of my face.
With a jolt, I came back to myself and gave her a sheepish smile. “Sorry. My brain is scattered from here back to Manhattan.”
“And beyond, I’d imagine.” She propped her chin on her hand and stared at me. “So why the sudden rush to get married?”
“I…” With a frown and shrug, I focused back on the glass of tea. I could feel her watching me and I had an idea that those big, dark eyes of hers saw pretty deep too. “It’s just sheer chaos and I’m fed up with it. It’s supposed to be the happiest day of my life and I just…”
The words lodged inside me, stuck and refusing to come out. I couldn’t say it. Couldn’t admit it to her, a total stranger, especially when I hadn’t been able to admit it to those closest to me. Hell, I wasn’t so sure I’d admitted it to myself.
“If it’s the happiest day of your life, why do you look like somebody is all but dragging you up the aisle, honey?”
I bit my lip. After a moment, I shot her a look, then shook my head. “It’s not…I’m not…”
“You’re not happy. I can tell you that.” Honey pushed back from the small table and went to grab a tray. As she brought it over to me, she spoke again, “I’ve had probably a hundred brides come through that door at this point. Some of them—well, most of them—are stressing just like you are, but they’re happy too. You’re not happy, and before you take that walk, you might want to have a good look at the reason why.”
***
“You’re very quiet tonight.” Edward brushed his fingers down my hand.
With a vague smile, I shrugged. “Yeah, I’m thinking about the wedding and everything left to get done before Saturday.”
“It won’t be long.” He patted my hand as he took a sip of his wine. “Mother is having the time of her life taking over the plans for October. This really was the perfect fix.”
“Great.” I managed to hide my instinctive scowl. The woman would turn it into a carnival of etiquette and stiff politeness. Nobody would have any fun and I’d hate it. Pretty much the only consolation I had was that I loved my dress and I’d be able to eat the cake. Considering it was supposed to be a celebration, that didn’t seem like much.
He leaned over and kissed me, his lips warm against my cheek. “Saturday night, we’ll be up at the lodge in the Catskills, and we’ll have several days to ourselves. Then we’ll come back here and you can relax, just take it easy, and let Mom do her thing.”
Take it easy
.
As he picked up his fork and knife to cut into his steak, I brooded into my wine. When we got back, I wasn’t going to take it easy. I was going to find a job. It wasn’t until Edward gave me a strange look that I realized I’d said it out loud.
Slowly, he put his utensils down and studied me. “A job. Whatever for, Gabriella?”
“Well.” I took a drink of my wine, then another as I gathered my thoughts. I hadn’t planned on needing to explain myself. “My current job is almost over. The freelance writing thing isn’t turning out the way I expected. I want something steadier. I’d like to do the same thing, day in and day out. And I haven’t given up on the idea of becoming a screenwriter, developing my own TV series, that sort of thing.”
“But sweetheart, there’s no need for you
to work.” He sounded as puzzled as he looked.
“I want to work.” I said it firmly.
“Why?”
Why? Baffled, I shoved back from the table and moved over to the sidebar where the open bottle of wine waited. I topped off my glass before I even attempted to respond. “Because I don’t fancy the idea of spending my days just languishing around a house while a man provides for me. That’s not who I am, Edward.”
“Don’t be silly.” A hint of impatience threaded through his voice, and again I was reminded of a parent speaking to a child. “You don’t have to languish anywhere. My mother is rarely home. She’s constantly getting involved in charities and various causes.”