Pure Wicked: A Wicked Lovers Novella (1001 Dark Nights) (12 page)

Her eyes widened to big green pools of confusion and contrition. More tears shimmered, threatening to spill. “I swore off relationships. I’m bad with romance.”

“
You’re
bad…or you’ve tried it with the wrong people? I’ve made the same mistake.” He took a deep breath, diving head first into the already deep conversation. “I’m going to put the truth out there. I’ve never felt this way with any other woman.”

Instantly, she shot him a scathing, skeptical stare. “You don’t have to let me down easy with a lie.”

“I wouldn’t bother.” He anchored his hands in her hair and clenched his fists. “If you were anyone else, after the sex I would have already shrugged and walked away.”

“So you’re saying all those celebrities and groupies you’ve screwed don’t hold a candle to me? Right…”

Her sarcasm bit, and he tugged on her hair. “They didn’t. Everything about you makes sense to me. And let me tell you, nothing in my life has made sense in a long time—especially not relationships. You’re pretty without artifice, kind even to the people who have wronged you, smart, ambitious. And you’re refreshingly not narcissistic or mercenary. You admitted that we click.”

Agreement crossed Bristol’s face, though she didn’t say it aloud. “So?”

“I’m going to ask again, are you this upset because you didn’t want to care about me? Or because it shocks you that you do?”

She pulled away from him with a huff, her little fists clenching. “Why can’t I be normal? The rest of the free world can find someone and hook up for a day or two without getting involved emotionally. The first time I try, what happens? Yeah, I wind up being all giddy and excited. You walk in the room and I feel something in my stomach flutter. I can barely wait to touch you. Or even talk to you. I have to remind myself not to fall in love. And now I’m making an idiot out of myself with one of the most famous people on the planet.” She shook her head. “I was already aiming high with the prince of Lafayette County because he was nice to me once upon a time and—”

“Don’t beat yourself up about Hayden. He’s the deficient one. He broke apart from you to be with your sister because he can’t equal you in intellect, ambition, or character. He found someone more his speed. If he’d stayed much longer, you would have realized he wasn’t for you.”

She shrugged. “Maybe.”

“He left you before you could beat him to it. He probably felt outdone by you. But don’t for one second think that small-town prick split because you weren’t good enough for him, so therefore you’re nowhere near enough for me. It’s bullshit, and I’ll argue with you all day long.”

“Hayden doesn’t matter anymore.”

“He doesn’t, but we do. And I’m sorry I wasn’t on the up-and-up, but you know why. I’m not letting you go over this crap.” He shrugged as if his mind were made up. “I’m seriously not.”

She took a shuddering breath, tears still threatening to spill. “How did I come in to confront you about lying to me and wind up feeling like the dysfunctional head case?”

He laughed. If Bristol could tell even a sideswiping sort of joke, then he must have said something that reached her. “Well, I usually feel like a dysfunctional head case and I didn’t want to be alone.”

She gave him a watery grin. “You suck.”

“Not yet, but if you lose the clothes, I’ll be happy to find some part of you I can get my mouth on.”

With a playful swat on the shoulder, she sniffled. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I know exactly why you were upset. No one likes to be lied to. Honestly, it’s a relief to me that you know the truth. And now you can stop calling me Jamie. Every time you cry out that name during sex, I want to punch my cousin.”

“Is that his name?” When he nodded, she giggled. “No wonder you grimaced a lot.”

“Next time, I want to hear
my
name on your lips. And don’t say there won’t be one.”

“I want there to be one, too.” She took a deep breath. “But you’ve got a lot on your plate and a career to go back to. My life is here. And really, where could we take this?”

Damn, she was fighting the relationship thing hard. She had no idea how willing he was to fight back. “I don’t know but I’m not giving up merely because it doesn’t look obvious or it won’t be easy. We’re going to take it one day at a time, okay?” At her uncertain stare, he tried to bite back his frustration. “What’s making you hesitate most. The fame? My crazy past? The newness of our relationship?”

She shook her head. “All of it.”

Her hesitation was understandable. That didn’t make him less impatient to be done with it. “First, you may not think you know me well, but I will never fuck you over like Hayden. I already know you’re not the kind of girl to sleep with a celebrity simply because you can or want to get pregnant for a payday. The getting-to-know-you thing will take time. So will total trust. But I’m willing to be all in if you are.”

“Just like that?”

“Yeah. Because I’ve tried everything else, so I know something good when I find it. The fame is fleeting and not real. I mean, yes, I have paparazzi chasing me and a monster social media presence. I’ve got screaming fans who don’t always know how to observe proper boundaries. But this also allows me to make a hell of a nice living and to do some good in the world through various charities. I try not to take it too seriously, especially since it could all be gone tomorrow.”

She gave him a shaky nod. “And the rest?”

“I can’t undo my past. There was a lot of booze and drugs. I did a bunch of crazy, off-the-chain shit. Because at seventeen, nothing sounds more awesome than living the ultimate rock star fantasy.” He shook his head at the waste of it all. “It took me a decade but I finally started questioning whether I
should
do any of that wild crap. So I sobered up, and that part of my life is done. Sobriety has given me a clarity about life I’ve never had. Losing Ryan has made me realize that life can be even more fleeting than I thought.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” she murmured, reaching for his hands and giving them a squeeze.

Jesse clutched at her. “He was a friend. When I changed my ways, it pissed him off. We used to get wasted and tag team women together. I won’t lie; we did it a lot. Once I decided to change, he had no one to party with. He started using more, fucking random girls more. I couldn’t reach him. I couldn’t stop him.”

When he choked back his guilt, Bristol slid closer to him. “It’s not your fault.”

“No, he made his choices. Just like I made mine. But I’ll always wonder if I could have said or done something different to help him. If I could have saved him.”

“Don’t feel guilty for surviving. You did what you had to do for you.”

He nodded. “I knew if I didn’t, I was going to die. The morning I woke up on a hotel balcony puking next to Ryan, five naked girls passed out around us, hung over like a bitch with no idea what continent I was even on, I knew something had to change.”

Bristol withdrew her hands. “That’s a lot of women.”

“Yep. More than I even remember.” He shrugged. “But I can honestly tell you that I’ve never stood in front of any of them and truly tried to work out our relationship. I was engaged once to a friend years ago. She ended up marrying another guy and they’re expecting baby number two. That’s the most serious relationship I’ve had. Until you.”

“I’ve slept with three men in my life, including you. And obviously you’ve been with hundreds of girls.”

Probably more. “The number doesn’t matter. None of this is about genitals. It’s about feelings. I have them for you. I think you have them for me.”

For a long moment, Bristol looked afraid to be honest. Finally, she nodded. “Yeah.”

“So we’re beyond a hookup. It’s up to us to figure out where to go from here. Who’s watching the restaurant?”

“Jayla.”

“So…you don’t have to be downstairs again right away?” He sent her a smile rife with seduction.

Bristol hesitated, then pulled her phone from her pocket and dashed off a text. A ding came moments later. Then she met his stare with a challenge of her own. “Jayla says all is quiet for now, so I could probably stay another minute or two.”

He prowled closer, unbuttoning his pants and lowering his zipper. “How about an hour or two?”

She stood her ground, her gaze dipping down to where he peeled away his jeans. “I don’t know if I’ve forgiven you yet.”

“I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you do,” Jesse murmured across her cheek as he grabbed the hem of her T-shirt and shoved it up. Before he’d whisked it over her head, he’d worked the clasp of her bra open, then peeled them both off at once. The second the garments cleared her body, he covered her lips with his own and sank inside her velvety mouth, stealing inside to claim her.

They’d spoken a lot of words to one another. She’d heard him…for the most part. But now he wanted them to communicate in a way he felt certain she’d understand completely.

“Shoes off,” he insisted.

Then he set to work at the fastenings of her pants while drowning in the taste of her kiss. As he slid them down her hips, she kicked her tennis shoes aside and wriggled her hips until the denim fell to her ankles and she stood before him in nothing but a tiny pair of white lace panties.

Jesse smiled as he released the messy pile of her brown hair shimmering atop her head. As the waves cascaded around her shoulders, heat settled in his belly. Blood rushed to his cock. Yeah, this woman did it for him, excited him in ways he hadn’t known a woman could. For the first time in his life, he wanted to be a better person—enough to do the hard work to improve himself, not use her for some quick fix to normalcy and improved self-esteem, the way he’d tried with Kimber years ago. He intended to be a better man for Bristol. He intended to keep her beside him, wake up every morning to her smile.

Heavy realizations. But Jesse couldn’t remember a time he’d felt clearer or more certain.

“Now lose the underwear,” he demanded. “Slide them down your hips slowly and let me see what I’m craving.”

She cocked her head. “What if I don’t take orders from you?”

Oh, now she was challenging him. He just smiled. “I can take what I want.”

“I dare you,” she breathed.

He understood what she was playing at. If she gave in too easily now, it would bend her pride. Instead, she challenged him to take her body and push the issue of her surrender.

Game on.

Jesse anchored his hands around the fragile undergarment at her hip and pulled. The seam unraveled for him—precisely like he intended she would under his touch.

When she stood naked before him, she shivered. He watched the shallow rise and fall of her breast, the movement of her hard nipples as the midday sun slanted through her window. Her fair skin looked luminous and golden. No spray tan for her. No chemicals that made her reek or look like an Oompa Loompa. Bristol was classic and alabaster, appearing untouchable.

But he definitely intended to touch her—and more. She wasn’t leaving this bed until she knew she belonged with him.

Jesse bent and lifted her against his body, following her down to the mattress. He didn’t give her an opportunity to wriggle away, simply anchored his hips between her thighs and pinned her down. She felt so small beneath him, and he braced an elbow near her head to take some of his weight off her.

She met his stare. Those leafy green eyes of hers were a sight he’d never get tired of.

“Jesse,” she whispered.

The uncertainty on her face broke his heart. “Close your eyes. Yeah,” he commended as she did. “Take a deep breath. That’s it.” He bent to whisper in her ear. “Any doubts you have we’ll talk out later. Right now, I want to worship you.”

Bristol gave a low moan. Against him, she trembled. Then so slowly it made him sweat, she opened her eyes, her arms, and finally her heart to him. Given his past, he probably didn’t deserve her, but he intended to do everything possible to make her glad she’d chosen him.

She clung to his shoulders, and Jesse brushed the hair from her face and worked his lips up her neck. “Feel how good we are together.”

With a little shiver, she nodded. He fanned a hand over her breast, his thumb brushing her taut nipple. She arched into his touch and thrashed under him. He swallowed the sound with his kiss, aligning their bodies until he was flush against her, not merely covering but enveloping her. Jesse wanted to take all of her, make sure she knew that she was his. A sizzle shot up his spine when he thought about the pleasure of making love to her. But more than anything, he simply ached to feel her close.

Yeah, he had it bad. Never in a million years had he thought he would fall hard and fast for a down-to-earth baker. On paper, she wasn’t his usual—not loud or flashy or sexually aggressive. Yet everything about her shy sparkplug of a personality fascinated him. Almost from the first, he’d felt as if some invisible wire attached them, tugging him closer and closer to Bristol. Until her, he hadn’t really known that sort of pull was possible.

Jesse positioned her arms above her head, splayed on the mattress, then eased his hands up her silky flesh from elbows to palms, finally curling his fingers around her wrists. He anchored her to the bed and buried his nose in the cinnamon musk of her neck, closing his eyes as the light brown silk of her hair caressed his shoulder and teased his senses.

Beneath him, she softened, a gasp escaping her throat as she tossed her head back, as if the pleasure somehow surprised her. Jesse took the opportunity to drag his lips up her oh-so-soft skin before working his way to her mouth and dominating the sweet bow with a slanting, possessive kiss.

Endless. Timeless. The joining of their mouths went on. All the things that made Bristol unique piled on top of his senses.

She responded without artifice, exactly as she had the first time he’d taken her to bed. Her glimmering green eyes stared up at him, soft with raw emotion, as he skated one palm down the lush under curve of her pert breasts, her small waist, the feminine flare of her hips. True, she had the same basic parts and curves as every other woman he’d fucked, but she alone made him feel this electric gravity when they touched. When he was near her, his head buzzed, his dick engorged, and his heart chugged.