Purgatorium (65 page)

I look up at the ceiling, angry at all the lies, thinking of the life I could have had if I hadn’t met Madi.

“We could have been something more,” my reflection says from the mirror. “We can still be something more.”

I take the gun off the table and aim it at the mirror.

The pain enters my head again. I feel it’s demon hands reaching out from inside my brain. I hear it continuing to whistle that familiar tune. My head begins to spin from not remembering where I heard it before. My arm shakes, making my hand shake, in turn putting the gun’s aim off its target.

This evil generation inside of me wants to be let free. The sad thing is…half of me wants it too.

The bathroom door opens. “Is everyone dead?” she says. I recognize that voice from somewhere. I look over and see the girl stepping out of the bathroom. I stare at her, wide-eyed, haunted by what I see. The girl is the spitting image of a lost soul I have come to know.

“Stephanie?” I say quietly.

“Who?” she responds.

Without thinking, I pull the trigger.

Bang
!

The smoke leaves the muzzle as her body falls to the floor. My mind races with questions that don’t have any answers. All the while, I can’t help but think about how another person I trusted has lied to me.

My eyes focus on the murderous scene. I see nothing but red. She lies there, silent, unmoved, with blood trickling out from her chest to the floor.

I keep reciting the vow that I once made to myself. I am not a killer, nor will I ever be. My sin will not be the end of me.

I stop when I ultimately figure out that she is never going to get back up. My demons predicted this moment was going to happen. I just never wanted to believe it.

Tears don’t develop nor does a feeling of emotional pain come through to me. Instead, a spark, inside my head, hits me like a wave of memories that I was forced to forget. They all forge inside my mind. Everything comes together, calculating everything before the reaper encounter to everything after. Images of Stephanie run red in my mind with a statement that wraps around her, defining her presence.

Don’t underestimate laziness with genius,
I think back to myself.

The room suddenly feels like it’s over one hundred degrees. A darkness grows from outside slipping in. The lights above me explode. A heat wave instantly runs throughout my body. Flames catch in the kitchen as it spreads like wildfire, burning the whole coffee shop down.

I sit there, quietly collected, being engulfed in the blaze, thinking about how my judgment day has finally come. Hell’s fires surround my personal area, almost as if the flames were pulling me down itself. The Valkyrie appears in the flames in front of me, slowly walking through the fire.

I hear the whistling once again. Its tune brings me back to a beach house. The ocean tide crashes up against my feet. The whistling sings out from the clouds as my mind forces me back to the fire. In that moment, the familiar tune comes to me.

The fire catches onto my legs. The Valkyrie places her finger on the table in front of me. Everything on the table but Madi’s book gets turned to ash. The book drops to the floor. The Valkyrie passes through the fire and ashes, continuing to walk towards me. She reaches out her finger once again.

I close my eyes, shutting the Valkyrie from my eyesight. I hear the whistling still in my head. Just as I remember where I heard it from, a door unlocks in my mind, letting my demon out and back in me. I am part of the seven. I feel the sinful cancer creeping itself inside my head. I feel the fire burning my skin. I yell, screaming loud, but still with no sound coming out.

Everything starts to spin as I feel whatever conscience I actually have, slip away from me. Suddenly, almost as if it were like the whole puzzle has finally been put together in my head, that I realize the undeniable truth of all the questions I use to have come down to one simple thought. I will be the better David. I will be the new author to the world’s sins. Because I know the truth that lies within its cultural society. That the cheaters will always cheat, liars will always lie, and the rich and greedy will always survive.

I take a breath and softly say, “I am greed.”

Still screaming, I begin to hear a sound produced from inside my mouth, forcing itself out. My voice.

“Ahhhhhhhh!”

I hear the music still playing in the background. My eyes open. A snow globe is lying beside me. I stare at it for a couple of seconds, then reach over and put my fingers around it.

I whistle a timely melody, staring at my reflection from outside of the globe. My smile goes from ear to ear, knowing I am back to my true greedy self.

I stand up holding the snow globe, look around, and notice that I am on the rooftop. The snow appears to be freezing in midair. I look straight up, watching the reapers fill the sky, drifting around me. I turn my view back on to the roof to find the elevator door closed. My exit door.

I hold up the snow
globe
and gaze at it, smiling that I finally got what I deserved. To finally have a life of my choosing.

45 Minutes

I move away and stare out at the city view. Looking down at the snow globe in my hand, I smirk at how this all feels like deja vu. The tail end of the aurora lights leaves my sight, letting me know the time.

Something that can never be taken away, only given, I think back to myself. I look down at the snow globe in my hand. Examining it, I notice that underneath is a turning dial.

I whistle once again, mimicking the music that it played when rotated. The memory of the tune brings with it a calm breeze and the sound of the ocean waves, crashing upon the shore.

“Now for your final choice: go home or save her?” I hear a little girl suddenly say, bringing me back to reality.

I turn and look at her, standing on the ledge of the roof.
Save
her? Save who? Who’s her?
I wonder to myself.

“Remember one must go up for the other to see her.”

Her who?

“Your wife,” she says with empowerment.

Madi? But that would mean she is in a coma too. This was his main purpose the whole time. He wanted to save Madi. But how did he know that Madi was in a coma? The little girl could have been lying to try and get the body for herself.

The little girl continues standing on the ledge, not moving, not reacting.
How does she know so much?
I wonder.

“What is your choice? Walk?” the little girl says, pointing to the elevator. “Or fall,” she says, now pointing down off the roof.

I clear my throat, walk to her, and stop. Now smiling, I lean my head back and release, shooting a spitball straight into her face. Calmly, I say to her, “Love and lost sounds much better than to be lost in love. I have an empire that needs to be built.”

“I wasn’t talking to you,” the little girl says to me. Wiping the spit away from her pure-hearted face, she tells me, “It isn’t your choice to make. It’s his,” she points behind me.

“His? His who?!” I scream, turning my head at where she is pointing at. I see the elevator doors opening. After a few seconds of no one coming out, I turn my head back to her, but she is already gone.

I am startled to hear a pistol hammer cocked back from behind me. I turn around to find Barachiel standing over the elevator. He
appears to be
still wearing the mask.

“This is deja vu at its best. Wouldn’t you agree old friend?” I say. Snow continues to fall very slowly between us.
Barachiel
continues to say nothing.

“You remember, I feel like it was just yesterday when you left me cold and wet. Left me here for the reapers to come and bend me over?” I raise the snow
globe
up in front of
Barachiel
and speak aloud, “Good remembering you again.Your Greed says hello, …
David
.”

Saturday

Barachiel

I wake up from a nightmare that I have dreamt more times than I can possibly count. I begin calculating the time in the back of my head, a little trick I taught myself. I breathe out, watching the cold air being released from my mouth. I have grown accustomed to the cold. It neither brings me pain nor a chill. All I can feel now is what I have always felt—numb.

But today that changes. Because today is my baptism, when my sins will be cleansed from me and my second chance will start.

I rise, grab a small mirror, and focus on my face. I repeat three times, “I am David.” It helps bring clarity and understanding to who I am and what I want to strive for everyday.

Looking down, I see that I’m still wearing my stylish tailored clothes. I look up, feeling glad to see that I am still here from when I closed my eyes last night. I breathe out the cold air, smiling, thankful the air conditioning in this ice cream van lasted the week. I turn facing the front to see a sealed compartment blocking my view to the outside. Its purpose, to keep the cold air inside. To keep me off the reapers’ radar. To keep me locked in so no one could see me.

I look at the thermometer next to me. It is still cooling below 35 degrees. Not enough to hide my full heat temperature, but enough to where if I don’t move, the reapers will think nothing of it. I turn to look into the mirror. I see my face, not the mirrored image of a man I hardly knew. Just me. I stare at it one last time before mirroring my face to look like Barachiel.

I lift open the cooler and take out a case. I flip it open and stare down inside to find my flintlock pistol lying beside a cartridge box and six lead balls. I look at the lamb at the edge of the gun and then back at the mirror. I want the last thing they see to be my face. I turn my head slowly, looking around at the scriptures I have written, surrounding the whole inside of my van. I look at one in particular.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…”

I unravel the loading tools on the floor beside me. I take a spherical lead ball and wrap it around a paper cartridge and pour gunpowder propellant inside of it. I seal the end of the cartridge opposite from the ball with a mere twist of the paper.

I then tear off the twisted end of the cartridge with my teeth and spit on it. I watch as my saliva lubricates the paper. I roll it in my hand to make sure everything is stuck together. Placing the now paper cartridge down, I do the same thing to each of the lead balls. I find my dark green marble bag in one of my compartments and roll out two special lead balls into my palm. I stare at each of them with a designed plan in mind for both of them. I roll them back in the bag and into my pocket.

I continue, “…I will fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

I take out my flintlock pistol from the case, pull the hammer back to half-cock, and pour a small amount of powder from the cartridge into the priming pan. I close the frizzen so that the priming powder will be trapped, then pour the rest of the powder from the cartridge down the muzzle of the pistol. Holding the cartridge ball, I insert it into the muzzle, with the remaining paper shoved into the muzzle after it. This makes the paper act as a wadding to stop the ball and powder from falling out when the gun is lowered.

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies,” I continue.

I draw the ramrod from the loading tools set. I insert it about one inch into the muzzle, and ram in the wadding, bullet, and powder down to the breech of the barrel. Then I remove the ramrod.

“Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,” I continue.

I place the gun behind my back and put the rest of my paper cartridges inside my jacket pocket. I stick the King of spades card in my pocket and comb my hair to the side.

“And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen.”

I take my right hand and stick out three fingers. I touch across my body from right to left, kiss my right hand, and bring it down, tracing the shape of the cross.

I close my eyes, clouding my thoughts and building a wall over my mind to keep my sin from coming in.

I exit through the sealed compartment. My necklace with my hourglass pendent, attached to the bottom of it, dangles around the rearview mirror. I take it off, stick it in my pants, and leave out the door. I close the door, staring at the view of the run-down coffee shop. I look at the half-filled hourglass in the window’s reflection. I smile, knowing the time in my head matches with the hourglass.

I head inside and sit at one of the booths.
I
reach into my pocket and bring my hand back up, staring at the coin tethered to my necklace. I kiss it, instantly ripping out the coin. I drop the coin on the shiny marble table and I watch it spin.

Gabriel
emerges from the coffee shop kitchen carrying a pizza in one hand and a napkin in the other. He sees
me
sitting at a booth near the front of the coffee shop. Walking to the table, he sits down across from me.

“You rang?” he says.

Gabriel
looks at me as if something’s off. He picks up a piece of pizza and takes two bites. I say nothing. I look into my gluttony’s green eyes as I hear my coin about to topple over. I turn back, snatching it before it lands, and drop it down again. It continues to spin once more. I watch it, patiently waiting.

5 Minutes

“I look at you and you want to know what I think?” he says. “I don’t know if I should be calling you Greed or Barachiel? I mean, why would I ever think that? It must be because I have forgotten what day it is today. I guess I should call you Greed because as I am looking around I see no David, so it must be okay to call you by your true name. Which would be making today Sunday, right? I mean, it can’t very well be Saturday, no, no, no. If it were Saturday, I would be addressing you by Barachiel. To keep up with the act. While you would be teaching our little soul survivor a new trick to get him ready for the big race tomorrow. Instead of you sitting here, spinning your silly coin, unless today is actually Sunday. Though on my calendar, I remember seeing today clearly as being Saturday. I am feeling faint with this predicament, please solve this pickle I’m in. Should I call you Greed or Barachiel?” He takes another bite of his pizza as I watch the sauce drip all the way down to his expensive tailored suit.

I wait patiently silent, continuing to spin my coin. Gabriel’s sunglasses give off a glare as he continues to stare at me. I can feel him trying to enter my mind but I won’t let him. I keep my wall high and my thoughts safe.

I lick my lips, clear my throat, and say, “Call me whatever you like, just don’t call me benevolent.”

A sour look comes across Gabriel’s face. He leans in towards me and suddenly laughs. “You have got to teach me how you do that. But knowing your greedy self, I feel like you’re gonna keep that trick all to yourself.”

“I heard you dropped something,” I say.

I take out a napkin and unwrap it, showing Gabriel’s used gum inside of it. I place the napkin next to him. He quickly picks it up off the napkin. An excited Gabriel puts the gum in his mouth and wipes the tomato sauce off of his lips.

“I was looking all over for that,” says Gabriel. He gazes back at me, squinting his eyes, “What do you want? There is always a price. So spit it out then.”

The coin is about to topple. I take it up and drop it back down, making it spin once again. I look at the coin and say, “Just don’t tell the others that I am playing hooky today is all.”

Gabriel laughs, “Playing hooky to your own self-made plan, that’s as selfish as it gets, bro. But I expect nothing else from you.”

I pick up the coin and throw it down again. As it spins across the marble, I glance over to the reflection in the window. I watch the sand on top of the hourglass fall down, instantly turning into snow. It has started, I think.

“A question presents itself,” says
Gabriel,
smiling at me. “When he nears the end, all bets are off. As you well know, only one of us can take up residence in his body. So I guess the question is… who will it be? I will not be giving up so easily, as you well know. I suspect you and I are on the same page about that at this point. But David does know how to slow us down. Did you keep your half of the deal?”

I glance at the hourglass turning over, watching the snow make its way now to the bottom. Almost looks like a snow globe, I think.

I
reach behind me and bring out the pistol, laying it down on the table in front of me.
Gabriel
’s mouth falls open, his eyes go wide.

“Where did you find it?”

“He kept it hidden in the waitress’ fridge,”
I softly
reply. “Smart lad. He knew keeping it in cold temperatures would make it hard for us to track. Anyway, he won’t be able to use it against us now.”

I continue spinning the coin, not caring what he is saying.

“Wonderful! Simply wonderful!”
Gabriel
answers, beaming at me.

“This makes us square now, you helped me and now I helped you,” I tell him.

“Well...all that’s left to say is no hard feelings for tomorrow. May the best demon win!” says Gabriel, holding his hand in front of me.

I pick up the coin and raise my hand up, hitting his hand back to him and tossing the coin back on the marble table. It spins, making Gabriel a little flustered.

Gabriel smacks the gum in his mouth as if he were trying to calm himself down. “You know what’s been bothering me though?” Gabriel says. “Any time I was with David, I could swear I heard someone talking to him—like inside his head. I thought at first he finally lost it. The reaper erased a lot more than his memories, you know? But the things I heard….It kind of reminded me of…” He looks to me. I quickly read his demonic thoughts as he thinks of the word ‘Greed.’

“It’s probably nothing,” says Gabriel. I know that Gabriel knows the truth and he is trying not to show it.

“Would you like to see a trick I just came up with?” I say to Gabriel. I scoop the coin, flip it up in the air, and watch it go down on to the table, still spinning.

Gabriel
looks at the spinning coin with amusement, but then a troubled expression comes over his face. He slams his hand down, stopping the coin from spinning. Then he raises his hand. Leaning over to inspect the coin, he sees it is David’s hourglass pendent. The confusion on his face is priceless, I think. Gabriel quickly turns to look at the hourglass. Just then, I see him starting to get sick to his stomach and doubles over in pain.

“So where did you say you found my gum?” Suddenly he realizes what I have done to him. With sheer panic in his eyes,
Gabriel
tries to move but seems unable. He looks down at the napkin. It’s wet and there is a puddle of water around it. He spits out his gum, trying to speak, but is only able to stammer. “W…w…wait!!”

I quickly pick up the pistol and force it in his mouth. I pull the lock to full cock. “How about you chew on this for awhile!”
I pull the trigger and the gun
fires a shot into
Gabriel
’s mouth, knocking his head back.

I show
Gabriel
my true face.
Gabriel looks shocked as
I
reach over and remove the King of clubs card from his jacket.
I
walk toward the door, forming my face back to look like Barachiel again.

Looking back behind me,
Gabriel
starts to fall to his side. His face begins changing to look like my face, and then his body proceeds to slowly freeze over. It turns orange as its demonic form is finally seen. Once frozen, it tumbles over heading straight to the floorboards and immediately shatters on impact.

I take my necklace out from my pocket, sliding back my hourglass pendent into it and tie it around my neck. As
I
exit through the front door, I see the
hourglass
reflection in the window, knowing it reads 6:30.

I walk out to find Stephanie licking a popsicle, leaning up against my ice cream van. “He is actually doing it!” she screams out in joy. She lifts her hands, throwing the popsicle up in the air. “This is so exciting!” she says with her mouth full.

I get closer to her, noticing a mask over her head. She swiftly takes off the mask and hands it to me. “Found this sitting by the curb of the apartment. Figured you might want to wear it.”