PUSH: Ultra Alpha MMA Badboy Mafia Romance (Southside Brotherhood Book 2) (8 page)

“Well, I’m not one to count on happy endings, so I think I’ll keep my expectations low. Or, maybe I’ll take up fighting; maybe I’ve missed my calling.” She smiled and raised her fists.

“Oh yeah? Maybe. But, around here, you gotta start a lot earlier. I’ve been fighting since before I learned to read.”

“You know how to read?”

“Really? I can see why you might struggle to make friends around here. ” Flynn fought back his smile.

“Just tryin’ to keep the conversation lively.”

“Well, a little tip. You may want to rein in that lip around my father. His sense of humor is not as evolved as my own.”

“Yeah. Funny, all the months he called and came to visit before everything got arranged, he certainly faked it well. He couldn’t have been more charming. Now, here I am, and I have no idea who he is. Except, at some time in the near future, he’s going to be my husband.”

Fucker. Fuck it, no fucking way she’s going to marry that ass. No fucking way. That’s all mine.

***

Flynn shook his head, breaking out of the memories of those first days with the girl who now consumed his every thought. He walked to the guesthouse bathroom, staring into the mirror at the face of someone that only a few nights ago was ready to die.

He scratched at the white tape holding the bandages, then lifted and tore, pulling the skin up on his chest as he exposed the still ripe flesh underneath. His chest was a canvas of ink, now with a rough, red scar to tie it all together with a myriad of surgical thread.

Now, what? You don’t want to die, so you better fucking figure out how to live. And I’m not fucking living without her. Someone may die, but it’s sure as shit not going to be me.

Chapter Nine

Flynn settled on the couch with a pair of scissors and cut out each of the one hundred and twenty-six black threads that had held his chest together for the last three weeks.

I’m ready to fucking snap like a twig sitting in here, running books around town like a bitch. I need to fucking hit something. Maybe my new job is perfect for now. Get me the hell out of here and concentrate on some new faces.

He tugged out the last of the knots and dumped the miniature knots in the trash. A glance in the mirror across the living room showed the scar, turning silver and magenta instead of raised red. He’d spent an entire week in bed, sweating and fighting the fevered visions before he’d felt human again.

His father came twice in three weeks. Not to check on his well-being, but to be sure he knew his place, to remind him of his only value, that of soldier to the family cause.

He read up on Southside, a gym owned by two has-beens who were in deep to Topher MacGuire on bad bets multiplied over years. It was no-place owned by nobodies so the job itself was low level, but it at least gave him a chance to fight.

Preparing to leave to scope out his new home away from home, Flynn gathered his gym bag and tugged on a crisp white T-shirt, his hand already on the brass door knob when he heard the knock.

Jerking open the door, ready to roll his eyes at his father or his brother, he lost a heart beat when his eyes settled on the blowing red curls.

She’d visited once before. The fourth day after Colin settled Flynn in and pumped him full of life-saving drugs, she showed up. Between the fever and the pain meds, Flynn couldn’t tell if she was real or just another one of his dreams.

But, he was damn clear headed now, and real was far from the only thing she was. “Jesus.” Flynn automatically started scanning beyond the door, toward the main house, looking for someone shadowing her.

“They don’t know I’m here. Colin’s gone again, New York I think, and Gideon went with him. I told Thing One and Thing Two I was feeling hormonal. You should have seen them turn tail and run.”

He forgot how to breathe for a moment. She had her hair swooped gently off her face in a long braid which curled over her shoulder. She wore a deep V-neck wrap dress that showed every curve.

What the Jesus fuck. This has trouble written all over it. And that shit’s right up my fucking alley.

“You’re not going to invite me in?” Lilly gave him a crooked stare and crunched up her nose.

“Fuck, sorry. Come in.” Flynn gave the horizon one more glance, sure someone was ready to stick their nose out and let him know they were watching.

When he was sure it was clear, he closed the door and turned to see her standing in front of the floor to ceiling window across the living room, looking out over the lawn toward the lake. It was still morning and white streaks of sun cast a glow around her. Flynn felt his heart come up in his throat.

God, I’d do fucking anything for her right now. She’s so beautiful. So fragile and so damaged. What the fuck is wrong with all of us? We live like fucking animals in our grand castles. It’s every man for himself.

“I meant what I said when you came to my room that night. You know that, right?” She didn’t turn to look at him when she spoke.

“What part?” Flynn felt the heat start up his legs as the sun silhouetted her.

“That I hate you.”

“Yeah? And I meant what I said.”

“You know me better than almost anyone in my life, do you know that? In six months, I’ve told you things I swore I didn’t even remember. I hate you for that. It was so much easier when I didn’t feel anything. When I pretended so many of my memories were just nightmares.”

“I get that. But you can’t move the fuck on unless you go straight through sometimes.”

She flung her head around and stared him right in the eye.

Flynn knew he was an animal. He was raised by them.

But with her, everything morphed into a completely new fucking world. He imagined what it would be like to have a someday with someone, to look back on a life that was filled with memories like you see in the movies and on Christmas cards where people pose with matching sweaters and some shit.

“Like you did? Like you moved straight through? You told me you’ve never felt the same since you killed that boy. We both have things we don’t want to face. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do to change it, so why go back through it all? You told me you didn’t feel anything when that happened. You just walked out of the ring and never looked back. That is something that you can’t ignore, something that fundamentally changes who you are. Did you deal with it? Did you even apologize to his family? No… You know why? Because it sucks, it hurts, and people like us shut it all down because if we don’t, we have to feel it all and that is just too much.”

She turned away from the window. Her fingers traced the top of the stacks of books laying on the table behind the sofa where Flynn had spent far too much time letting his body heal and trying to keep his mind off the copper-haired beauty who lived in his head.

“What’s your favorite book?” She raised up a hardback copy of
The Great Gatsby
, flipping through the pages.

“All of them.”

Lilly ignored his answer. “Romeo and Juliet. My mother read it to me when I was a little girl. Over and over. I didn’t understand so much until I got older. At least they died for something.”

Flynn couldn’t bear the sadness. Every cell in his being wanted to break the chains around her heart.

Lilly half-sat on the arm of the sofa, thumbing through the pages of a random book and Flynn knew it was now or fucking never.

Live or fucking die. There’s no more living in between. Fuck all of them.

Flynn could already feel the warmth coming off her as he took three long strides, close enough that he saw her shoulders tighten, and she kept her eyes low.

“Look at me.” Flynn said.

“No.”

“Fuck,
look at me
.”

“I can’t. I don’t want to. Please, just be my friend, can’t you do that? Forget about anything else. We don’t get to have more.”

Flynn’s hands were around the back of her neck in a flash. Heat rushed up his spine and into his face as he curled his fingers into her hair and forced her face upward.

She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, her soft, almost childlike fingers clutched at his wrists, igniting the connection and sending his cock on a quest to claim what belonged to him.

Her eyelashes fluttered, and he felt like he was falling when she opened her eyes.

“I can’t be your fucking friend, Lilly. That shit will never happen. It’s zero to a hundred with me.
Look at me.
You came
here
. You’ve been here twice now. I was sick as hell the other time and you glided in and out before I could think straight. But, when you come, we’re both risking more than some harsh fucking words from my father. So, quit playing. You’re here and I’m here for you, but it will never be for just friends. Fuck that shit, you know it, and I know it. I’ll be here for you for the next thousand fucking years, but it won’t be for friendship. At least not for me.”

Flynn’s hands tensed at the back of her neck, pushing up to feel the silk fire of her hair between his fingers. He met her in a violent kiss, his teeth pressed into her lip as his tongue foraged for hers.

Her fingertips dug into his wrists, pushing back in shock.

Flynn felt the duel between her mind and her heart. Struggling, noises came from her chest like a child wrenching from a punishment. Then, finally her mouth opened.

Flynn tasted her.

A deep moan came from him as her lips softened, her tongue finding his as they wrapped into each other in a dance so perfect, Flynn felt like he was losing his balance.

Jesus, fuck me, she can do this to me with a damn kiss. What the hell is going to happen when I bury my face between her legs? When I finally get to cherish her like a man should cherish his one and only. I don’t think my cock will ever be the same, damn crazy boy already on the warpath. Take it slow, we’re not here for the usual, we’re here for the forever.

Flynn was sure she would push back, end the connection, but she didn’t. Their kiss grew harder. Her hands pulled at his wrists instead of pushing away, and it turned Flynn’s blood to boil. He’d known she was special since that first day she stepped out of the limo, her green eyes wide and tired, Colin leaning down to kiss her on the lips as she turned away.

The sickening sound of his father’s back-handed smack should have had zero effect on Flynn. He’d witnessed far worse and in this family, women were not revered and a smack like that was something Flynn had seen plenty of times.

But this time, it was different. For the first time in his life, Flynn wanted to protect someone, to jump between the pain and this new emerald-eyed doll.

He didn’t realize it then, but that was when his life ceased to be his own.

Now, here they stood, locked in a kiss that could never be more than a mistake.

Flynn pulled back, their breath warming the inch between them as her scent shocked him like blood in the water for a shark. Her mouth was soft, warm and sweet, and his tongue screamed crazy demands in his head to dive back in, to connect them once again, but Flynn needed to see what her eyes told him.

Lilly locked her gaze with his—within it, a demand to give her more was undermined by a lurking reticence.

“This is why I hate you. When you kissed me that first time, that was when I thought I hated you the most. I was wrong. I hate you more now.”

“Good. I plan to make you hate me more every fucking day.”

Flynn pulled her up and into him. He needed to feel the warm softness of her body against his. His hard angles and cut muscles forced her ivory curves to yield to his strength as his eyes drank in the magnificence of her lush body.

She’s gonna kill us, man. We’re so far fucking gone now; I can’t even see our way back. I’ve never wanted anything, never hoped for more than I had. I’m a simple fucking man, but I know when I’ve got the golden ticket, and I’ll fight the last fuck who tries to keep us apart.

The way her softness melted against him they became two puzzle pieces too-long kept apart. There was no way this was wrong.

Flynn pulled her lower lip into his mouth, catching it with his teeth as he fought the urge to tear at her, to fuck her into forever. Even if it meant it was the last thing they would ever do. The rage south of his waist was pressing up and out, the length of him fighting its way to her.

He kissed her hard, then soft and slow, listening for every mewing breath, every hitch and gasp until he felt her body soften. His arm drew around her waist as he pulled her into him from chest to groin, feeling her heart beat.

Flynn felt her arms tremble, his palm found the lush curve of her chest. The sound of her decadent moan sent a blast of fire down into his ever-hardening dick. He watched her face as he toyed and squeezed and pinched before lowering his face to bury himself in her sweet crevice to revel in her scent.

“Wait, God, no, we can’t.
Flynn
, please.”

Her muffled words hit the wall of his ears. He was lost already; the train had left the damn station and all the months of wanting were focused to a pin prick, a single truth— the flavor of her soft ivory flesh on his tongue.