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“Stop it, Remy.”

Despite Gabe’s anger, I kept going, focusing on the bark of a tree above his head. The forest reminded me of Townsend Park and Asher and a day when we had resolved to stay together and face our uncertain future. Would he have made the same decision, knowing he would die such a short time later? The memory firmed my resolve. This was the right thing to do, even if it meant hurting Gabe. Better hurt than dead.

I went for the jugular. “I don’t care about you, Gabe. I never will. It’s pathetic for you to hang around hoping that changes.”

I’d never been so purposely hurtful, and I wanted to scream that I was sorry. My stomach clenched, and I physically ached with the need to take the words back. Instead, I bit my lip and squared my shoulders.

“Hey, Remington?”

Gabe’s affectionate tone caught me off guard. I looked down to find him smiling at me, with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Do you remember the night you broke my arm because I threatened Asher?” he asked.

I nodded, confused at why he would bring that up. I’d been goofing off instead of training, and Gabe had taught me a lesson. He’d shown me quite effectively that my inattention could make Asher vulnerable in a fight. Gabe had guessed that I would take my training more seriously if I’d put Asher in harm’s way, and he’d been right. So right that I’d demonstrated a new power. I’d broken Gabe’s arm from across the room without laying a hand on him. I’d only been able to do something like that one time since, when Dean had threatened Asher. I was glad because that night I’d hurt Gabe, I’d scared myself.

Gabe continued. “After you hurt me, you and Asher had this one-sided argument. I only heard his side of things, of course, because he was reading your mind. You were so pissed off, you yelled at him to get out of your head. Do you remember what he said?”

I thought back to that night. I’d been furious at Asher. My walls had been up during that argument, but he’d still heard my thoughts. We’d discovered that when I felt something strongly, my ability to block him out didn’t always work. My feelings had been crushed when I believed Asher afraid of me after what I’d done to Gabe, so my walls had failed miserably. I’d accused Asher of invading my mind, but he hadn’t really been given a choice in the matter that night.

“Asher said it felt like I was shouting my thoughts at him,” I answered slowly.

Gabe nodded. “Yep. That sounds about right.”

He patiently waited for me to catch on. When I did, I crossed to the bench and sank down beside him, completely deflated. So much for good intentions. Apparently I felt strongly about lying to make him go.

“Damn it, damn it, damn it,” I said.

“It was a nice try. Honestly, I appreciate the effort you put into it. My favorite part was when you called me a Protector in your best gloom-and-doom voice.”

He imitated me, and I said, “Shut up, Gabe.”

“No, really. You’re such a badass, Remington.”

Somehow he made me want to laugh when I least felt like it. I didn’t get it. The day had been one more crappy day on top of dozens of others. Bad news kept piling up until I thought I would never be able to shovel my way out. And still Gabe could cheer me out of a good cry. I couldn’t believe I’d once thought him unable to joke. I bumped my shoulder against his, and he put his arm around me. I rested my head against his shoulder.

“I know. It doesn’t change anything.”

He sounded a lot sad and even more resigned.

“How did this happen, Gabe? I thought a bonding only happened once.”

“Me, too. It has to be you. That’s the only thing I’m sure of.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

He sounded sure, and I could see he’d thought about this. “Everything that’s happened is because you’re different. You should have bonded with me first, but you didn’t. You made that happen. Not Asher. Not me. I don’t get the whys, but you are definitely driving this bus.”

I tried to imagine how that was possible, but I hadn’t wanted the bonding. I hadn’t even known what it was when it happened to Asher and me. If I hadn’t already cared about him by the time I’d found out, I would have run away.

The whole thing made my head spin. “Are you sure you want to stick around?” I asked.

Gabe shrugged. “It’s summer. There’s nothing on TV except reruns. I have nothing better to do.”

“Jerk.”

Despite everything, I selfishly was glad that he wasn’t going to leave me alone, but tonight’s discoveries brought on more problems. With Gabe becoming mortal, we couldn’t possibly stay. There were too many threats. The Protectors could come back. If my grandfather found out Gabe was a Protector and vulnerable . . . I didn’t want to imagine what Franc might be capable of.

“We have to leave here,” I said out loud.

Gabe nodded, his chin bumping into my head. “Sooner would be better.”

“Let me have tomorrow to say good-bye.”

He nodded again and squeezed my shoulder. One more good-bye. One more Band-Aid to rip off. One more day, and I would be completely without family.

“You have me,” Gabe said, tugging on a strand of my hair.

I did have him, and I thought maybe that made me a bad person because I almost wished I could love him back.

C
HAPTER
T
WENTY-FIVE

I
packed my things before grabbing a few hours of sleep on the couch. I’d decided to pretend to be weak, hoping I wouldn’t have to explain how I’d healed so quickly. The plan was to leave as soon as Franc left for Pacifica. Until then I would savor the last of my time with my grandfather. He might have been a bastard for asking me to heal Melinda, but I could understand sacrificing for family, even while I ached, knowing that he didn’t love me enough to put me first.

Franc’s steps vibrated through the house when he plodded down the stairs in the morning. I rolled to face him and he spied me awake.

“I’m glad you’re up,” he said, resting both hands on the back of the couch. “After breakfast we’re going to Pacifica.”

“What?” I rubbed sleep from my eyes, seeing our plan to leave today falling apart. “Why?”

My grandfather leaned over me and eyed me with concern. “I want to see if our Healers can help you.”

“But you said—”

He scowled. “I know what I said. They couldn’t help Melinda, but maybe they can help you. We have to try. I should never have pushed you this hard.”

He shoved off the couch and started for the kitchen. I hadn’t expected this. I couldn’t let the other Healers help me. They would know I wasn’t sick anymore, and there would be too many questions. I threw off the blanket.

“Hey, there’s no need, Franc. I’m already starting to feel better.”

My grandfather turned, and I pretended to move slowly.

His forehead wrinkled like he didn’t believe me. “Nonetheless, I’ll feel better if the others have a look at you.”

I stared at his back as he walked out of the room. It looked like I was going to Pacifica.

 

I texted Gabe from my room before we left. He wanted to come with us, but Franc would never have allowed it. Not after the way they’d left things the day before. I would return to San Francisco later that evening, and until then I would fake my way through their examinations. And tonight, I would sneak out to meet Gabe, and we would leave together. Part of me didn’t mind one last trip to Pacifica. I planned to make the most of it and spend time with Erin. It would be more of a good-bye than I’d been allowed with Lucy.

My grandfather followed me tensely as I crept my way from his truck to Erin’s front door. He’d wanted to help me, but I refused, wanting to prove that I was feeling better. On the way to Pacifica, we argued.

“I’m fine. I don’t know why you’re pushing this.”

He shot me a disbelieving look. “You cured a fatal disease. You’re not fine.”

No matter how I insisted that a night of sleep had done wonders, giving me the time I needed to begin healing, he refused to cave and we lapsed into silence.

At Erin’s house, Franc entered without knocking and ushered me in. I paused on the threshold of the living room. They’d obviously been expecting us. Five Healers waited in the room. Two of them were the women who’d run tests on me before. The other three I’d only met briefly and didn’t know. Delia, Erin, and Erin’s mother were conspicuously absent.

A worm of unease slid down my back.

“Come on, Remy. Let’s do this. You’ll feel better afterward.”

Franc pressed a hand between my shoulders to urge me along.

“No,” I said.

Something told me I could not allow these women to touch me. One woman studied me with cold speculation, and another bit her fingernails and wouldn’t meet my eyes. Franc put a little more force into moving me, and I stumbled a bit.

I tossed him an irritated glance over my shoulder. His smile remained gentle, and I wondered if I was reading something into this because I felt nervous about getting caught out. I glanced around the room again.

No. Whatever was going on, it wasn’t just me.

I squared my shoulders and twisted to face my grandfather. I tilted my chin up to meet his eyes.

“I said no, Franc! I don’t want this. I’m not a freaking experiment!”

Horror or surprise widened his eyes. “Of course not! God, Remy! I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”

“Then what’s this?” I gestured to the women in the living room.

He shrugged and held his hands out to me in supplication. “I should never have asked you to risk your life for Melinda. I wasn’t thinking. After I saw you so sick last night . . .” Franc stopped, his lips pressed together. “You came to me for protection, and I put you in harm’s way. I let you down yesterday. This seemed the only way to help you. By no means do I want to force you to do anything you don’t want to do. Please forgive me.”

He hung his head, and I felt stupid for doubting him. My guilt about running away was warping my perception of everyone and making me think everyone had evil intentions.

I gave him a wry smile. “No, I’m sorry for yelling. But trust me when I say that I really am feeling better. I just need you to give me a little space to rest and get my energy back. Please?”

Franc nodded. He went into the living room to talk to the Healers, and I headed toward the hallway that led to the bedrooms, hoping to find Erin. On the way, I passed an open door and glanced in. Alcais’s bedroom. Clean, almost to the point of obsessiveness, every object had its nook or slot. No wrinkles marred the bed’s gray bedspread. The leather-bound books on the shelf over his desk had been lined up according to size and color.
Neat freak much, Alcais?
He was one person that I would definitely not miss.

I’d searched the room before and come up empty. I started to walk on, but something stopped me. After a quick look around to ensure I was alone, I entered the room. I glanced around, trying to figure out what was bugging me.
The books,
I realized.
The spines had no titles on them.
I stepped up to the shelf and pulled down the smallest book from the far end. It looked old. At some point, the red binding had fallen apart and someone had repaired it with tape. It smelled ancient, and my nose wrinkled at the musty old-person scent. I cracked it open to a random page and read.

“Remy?”

I swung about guiltily, before I realized Erin was calling me from the kitchen. Quickly, I shoved the book into my bag, hoping Alcais wouldn’t notice the gap on the end of his shelf. I shot one last wistful look over my shoulder at the other books, but there was no way to take another without chancing discovery.

It seemed I wasn’t the only one who had been seeking out the library. Excitement surged through me. Had I discovered the person responsible for Asher’s death?

 

I was sure I’d been caught. Hanging out with Erin and Delia in the garage, I had to force myself to ignore my bag. I’d never stolen anything, and I now knew why. I didn’t feel that thrill of getting away with something. I wasn’t riding on a high. No, it felt like someone had erected a sign over my bag that flashed
STOLEN OBJECT HERE
in bright neon. The sign only existed in my imagination, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to cast guilty glances about.

“You still with us, Remy?” Erin asked with a concerned look. “Franc mentioned how awful that healing was. Are you sure you don’t want us to take a look at you?”

She reached for my hand where it rested on the table, and I jerked back before she could touch me. Her lips narrowed as if I’d hurt her.

“I’m a bit off still,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

“She said she doesn’t want help. Why can’t everyone leave her the hell alone?” Delia said.

My jaw dropped open.
When had Delia become my defender?
She shifted her glare to me, and I snapped my mouth shut. I decided to change the subject.

“Where’s Alcais?”

“Running an errand for Franc,” Delia said.

I happened to be looking at Erin and noticed how she had suddenly found her fingernails wildly fascinating. Her knuckles whitened. She noticed me watching her, and her unsettled expression brightened in an instant smile.

“What errand?” I asked casually.

Erin remained silent, obviously waiting for Delia to answer. If I hadn’t been feeling so guilty about the stolen book, I probably wouldn’t have noticed how weird she was acting.

“What are we? His keepers? How the hell should we know?” Delia almost snarled.

Touchy. I decided to ignore that for now. We started playing Texas poker, which I hated. I could never understand why people liked card games. An hour or so later, Delia went off to use the bathroom.

Erin and I sat in silence. Things had never been awkward between us. I wondered if maybe she’d seen me coming out of Alcais’s room and really did suspect something. A part of me wanted to confess, but what would happen then? Better to keep my mouth shut.

“Why did you heal Melinda?”

Erin’s quiet question sounded loud in the garage. Startled, I considered the question for a moment before answering.

I shrugged. “If I could help her, then it seemed like I had to try.”

“But you risked your life!”

“What else could I do? She’s family.”

Erin sucked in her breath, and I thought she chewed on the inside of her cheek. Shy as she was, the other Healers and their families sometimes spoke over Erin. They didn’t always listen when she voiced her opinion, but if one waited patiently, she had a lot to say. I let the silence stretch on until it almost started to breathe.

Finally, she exhaled, sending her bangs flying. “Melinda isn’t your family, Remy,” she whispered.

I froze. “What do you mean?”

Erin’s gaze stayed trained on the kitchen door. “Franc told us all to pretend Melinda was family if you asked about her, but we’ve never met her. He shouldn’t have lied to you like that. It was wrong.”

My grandfather had lied to me. And it wasn’t a little fib. It was a huge freaking lie that had convinced me to risk my life for a stranger.

“Why? Why would he do that?” I rocked backward in horror. “Did he charge that woman?”

“Not that I know of, but he wouldn’t exactly tell me.” She shook her head, her mouth creased in frustration. “It was a test. He wanted to force you to use your other abilities. To see how powerful you are. You were keeping secrets, and he wanted to force your hand. I overheard my mom saying that he didn’t think you’d go through with it. But you did.”

And I’d awed her. I could hear it in her words. What abilities did Franc think I hid? Did he know what I was?

Voices sounded in the distance. Delia would return any minute, and Erin had sparked a dozen questions tumbling over each other through my mind. Tonight I would leave and never have the answers.

“Erin, what’s going on?”

“He knows more about you than you think. You and your friend.”

“Gabe? What does he know about Gabe?”

Erin sent another worried glance toward the door. “I’ll be in so much trouble if they find out I’m talking to you like this.”

“Erin?” I stretched a hand across the table toward her. “If Gabe is in danger, please tell me,” I pleaded.

I thought she wouldn’t answer. Then, as the door to the kitchen started to swing open, she whispered, “Gabe’s not in danger. At least not yet. It’s your other friend. The one who followed you to California.”

I shot to my feet, and Erin grabbed for my hand, trying to pull me back down. At her pleading expression, I sank back into my seat. Delia entered, and I struggled to wipe the shock from my face.

Alcais followed Delia into the garage and studiously ignored me. Was he part of this? Had he learned of my grandfather’s suspicions? I’d never been so glad to be invisible as they made their way to the dartboard and began a game of Twenty.

My mind had caught on what Erin had said. She’d said that my other friend was in danger. If Asher was in danger, present tense, then . . . My stomach twisted and I pressed a hand to it.

I scooted my chair closer to Erin. Delia tossed us a curious glance over her shoulder, and I slid a magazine across the table toward Erin as if we were looking through the slick pages together.
Nothing to see here, Delia.
I blindly pointed at something on a page, which turned out to be a model’s nose, while Erin bent her head over the page.

Alcais began mocking Delia, and their usual bickering began. Under the cover of their loud voices, I whispered, “Just tell me . . . Is he still alive?”

Erin hesitated, ducking her head further so that her chin nearly dug into her breastbone.

“Please, Erin. Please.” My throat closed around the words, almost as if it, too, was trying to clamp down on hope.

I flipped a page, nearly ripping it in half because my hand shook so badly. I took a deep breath, every fiber of me concentrating on Erin while I pretended to give a crap about the fashion magazine in front of me. Fear and hope threatened to strangle me.

And then Erin’s head tilted in the slightest nod, and I could breathe once more.