With that, Archmage Bennet wiped his forehead, turned around slowly, and then walked off to rejoin his comrades. He waved down the High-Mages, who all looked eager to intervene. Judging from their outraged glares, it almost seemed as though they thought that
Bennet
was the one who’d been disrespected. As far as how they came to that conclusion, Sehn didn’t have a clue. Was something wrong with their eyesight, maybe? That had to be the case, because clearly Sehn was the victim here—or at least he would have been if it were possible for him to be a victim.
With that little matter taken care of, Sehn waited for the Archmage to be out of earshot before returning his attention to Nero. “Now that he’s gone, you may continue.”
“Continue what?”
“What do you think, my dimwitted disciple? Continue explaining whatever thing you were going to tell me.”
“What thing was I gonna tell you?”
Sehn was losing his patience. “Fool! Just before the Archmage interrupted us, you claimed that I was doing something wrong.”
Nero’s mouth popped open. “Ohh!
Oh, yeah. You mean my criticism, right?”
Sehn widened his eyes and felt a painful stabbing sensation in his chest. “Wait, you mean you were going to
criticize
me? That was what you intended to do?”
“Well I uh…I think so, right? Isn’t that what it means when I tell you I think you’re doing something wrong, Sehn? Cah’lia taught me that word, and I think that’s what it means.”
The backstabbing
,
Sehn thought, nearly struck down with disbelief.
When does it end
?
I’m going to explode
!
“No, of course it doesn’t mean that. Criticizing is when you…it’s what happens when…criticizing is when…gah! I don’t even care anymore. Just say whatever it is. I’ve little time to debate word meanings. Out with it, now!”
Nero nodded, then lowered his voice before speaking. This was good. Sehn didn’t want anyone to overhear Nero’s “criticisms” just in the one-in-a-trillion chance that they were actually true, because then other people would know that Sehn had done something wrong—which would require him to cover everything up by slaughtering them all in their sleep.
“Okay,” Nero whispered. “I think—”
“Stop!” Sehn yelped. “It’s too brutal and painful!”
Nero scratched his head. “Huh? But I didn’t even—”
“Enough! Be silent or I shall do a secret backflip kick attack that shall both behead you and make you piss yourself.”
“But Sehn, I didn’t even say a single—”
“Gods, Nero, enough! And who taught you to be so ruthless? Well, me, obviously, but even
I
cannot believe you’ve become evil on such a level.”
“But Sehn!” Nero half moaned, half shouted. “I didn’t even get to say anything yet.”
Sehn stared at him a moment, unable to believe that this little elven boy was such a heartless, destructive, and merciless critic. But still: nothing he said could possibly be true anyway…right? Of course it couldn’t. There was no point in fearing it. And so, deciding to swallow his pride, Sehn lifted his hand and motioned for Nero to continue. But when the boy remained silent, Sehn scowled at him.
“Well?”
“Are you gonna let me say it?”
“Yes.”
“And am I gonna get fined for saying it?”
“No.”
“And no citations, either? You promise?”
“I have already told you that you will be free of penalty.”
“All the penalties?” Nero asked. “You promise I’m not gonna get a summons to appear in—”
“Nero! Say it!”
Nero sighed. “Okay, so I think what you’re—”
“I shall destroy you!” Sehn barked at him. “I should lift you up by
your
…”
Catching himself this time, Sehn covered his mouth, finishing his words in a mumble. Still with the flat of his hand pressed tightly against his lips, he nodded at Nero to keep going. Not that he expected to hear anything useful. What could a little boy know about anything?
Nero waited a few moments longer before speaking, during which he studied Sehn with a sharp, unblinking gaze, his jaw stiff with apparent skepticism. Finally, he swished his tongue around in his mouth and continued.
“I think the problem is that you’re not using your feelings,” he said. “I think you have to, um, feel things a certain way, ‘cause that’s how it makes sense to me, at least.”
“Feeling things…the right way?” Sehn repeated, phrasing the words as a question. “What the hell is that supposed to mean, Nero?”
“It’s just that I was thinking about what the human man said, and he said all those things about the soul, remember? He said that…”
Nero’s words trailed off as he stared into the distance. His ears twitched when he looked upon Rina, who was ogling at the handsome knight-like man, David. The boy clearly hadn’t been finished speaking, but his attention had wavered after spotting the worshipful way in which Rina regarded the summoned man. The dangerous look that entered Nero’s eyes was by far the most vicious and threatening Sehn had ever seen on him.
“What did he say? Hey, Nero. Nero!” Sehn reached out and pulled gently on Nero’s ear to regain the boy’s attention.
“Huh? Oh yeah, right. I think he said it splits in half and then makes a new person or something.”
“So?”
“Well, maybe since it’s got something to do with your soul, it’s got something to do with your feelings, too. I’m only guessing, but it makes sense to me.”
Sehn turned the boy’s words over in his head, mentally playing them back a few times. Then he inhaled sharply.
“That’s ridiculous,” he said. “What kind of magic relies on something as pathetic as ‘feelings’? Besides, even if such nonsense were true, it would matter little, as the Great Sehn does not even have feelings, for he is a being of cold, calculating logic.”
“That’s not true. You
do
have feelings.”
“No, Nero, I don’t.”
“Yeah you do.”
“You underestimate me, boy. There are no feelings to be found within me. I am a shell of hatred and contempt waiting to be unleashed upon the world.”
Sehn laughed evilly, putting extra emphasis on the second “ha” of each chuckle so that it was absolutely clear that this was not an “I think something’s funny” laugh, but a “Sehn is so terrifying and powerful” one.
“You do have feelings,” Nero insisted. “I know you do.”
“Have you really come to believe something so foolish? Not only don’t I have emotions, but I also feel no pain, either.”
Nero raised his pointer finger and made as if to speak, but he was interrupted by Rina. The nosy little girl shouted something from where she stood admiring David several feet away. It seemed she had no problem both admiring the “greater” summon while also keenly listening in on Sehn and Nero’s conversation.
“Cah’lia!” she called out. “Rina knows Sehn misses her! Sehn does have feelings. Rina knows. She also knows Sehn thinks Cah’lia is pretty and wants to kiss her and is scared he won’t see her again.”
Immediately, Sehn grimaced and felt his body weaken as his fears were spoken aloud. He swallowed down the bile rising in his throat, and he fought the sudden urge to take a seat on the red sand. Hopelessness and fear crept its way into his being, and for a terrifying few seconds, he came close to collapsing under his own weight.
“See?” Nero said.
Sehn gasped. He immediately loosened his muscles and stood up straighter. “See what?” he asked, trying his best to sound calm and disinterested. “What am I supposed to be seeing?”
“You just felt sad. I know you did ‘
cause
you did
this
.” Nero, as if to humiliate him, made the same exact facial expression that Sehn had just made only a few seconds earlier at the mention of Cah’lia’s name; he looked like someone who was eating something extremely sour while being electrocuted.
You little brat
!
Sehn lowered his head somewhat so that the anger planted on his lips would not be as noticeable. “Only an idiot would think that was sadness,” he said, trying his best to hide his nerves. “I was merely demonstrating a new type of dance move. Now, off with you. Go play with Rina. I’ve had enough distractions for one day. We’ll speak again tomorrow. Do not bother me until then.”
“When’s that gonna be?”
“How should I know? I can’t tell time in this place.”
“So then how do I know when I can talk to you again?”
“Nero!”
“Sorry.”
Nero paused a moment and gave him a brief but intense stare that, in a strange way, made him uncomfortable. Then the boy shrugged, turned around, and ran off to rejoin Rina, who was firing off so many questions at Archmage Bennet’s “greater summon” that it bordered on an interrogation.
Feelings
, Sehn thought, the word acidic on his tongue.
I do not have ‘feelings
.
’ Hah
!
Such nonsense
.
There’s no way my ‘feelings’ are the problem
.
It cannot be
.
As Sehn watched Nero compete for Rina’s attention, something deep within him told him that he needed to hurry up and give himself some space to think; it was a powerful impulse that struck without warning, likely spurred on by Nero’s stupid suggestions. It wasn’t quite the same as an urge to flee, but rather it was a need to separate himself for a time and focus on whatever it was inside of him that was now causing an ache to form in the pit of his stomach.
Once more, he turned his back to everyone, and without wasting another moment, he began walking away from them all. He wasn’t sure where he was going, but he doubted it mattered; after all, everywhere was the same in this never-ending red desert. So without regard for direction or destination, he ventured out into the emptiness.
With each step, he could feel himself becoming more troubled, and he knew why, too: it was fear that what Nero said might actually be correct. It was yet another reason he needed to get away. This was not a matter he could work out in front of others.
Becoming restless, he picked up the pace and walked a bit faster. Since it didn’t matter which way he went, he traveled in more or less a straight line. Even when the excitable voices of Rina and the others began to dull, he still did not stop. He continued to journey farther and
farther out until, looking over his shoulder, the mages and the children appeared as tiny little dots set against the expansive, all-consuming backdrop of the red starless sky and matching red sand.
He paused a moment to consider if this would be far enough, then realized it would just have to do. If he went any farther, he would completely lose sight of the others, and while he was sure he could find his way back, he did not trust the old mages alone with Rina and Nero. It was this or nothing.
So
,
I’m alone
now
, he thought.
What do I do
?
As a bead of sweat ran down the back of his neck, it occurred to him that there wasn’t even wind here in this barren, dull, and tiresome hell. Sehn wondered what would happen if he dug straight down. Would it ever end? Or would that too result in a bottomless pit of nothingness that continued on forever? The thought sent a chill running down his back. He
really
didn’t like it here.
But at least I have some privacy now
.
Alone and without anyone to interrupt him, Sehn took a seat on the sand. He folded his legs and thought about what Nero had said to him. And not because he wanted to, either, but because now that it was in his head, it wouldn’t go away until he dealt with it.
Could the boy have been on to something? He doubted it. Nero was a small child who knew little of the world. How could he possibly understand anything about such a complex spell like a “greater summon?” What he’d said was just a guess—one that only an innocent child could come up with. And yet, even still, it bothered him.
Because what if he was correct? In a way, what Nero said…it
did
make
sense.
If Sehn needed to split his soul in two, maybe he needed to look inside himself for the answer as to how he could actually go about doing such a thing. It was an unwelcome thought. It would force him to go to a corner of his mind that he rarely visited: a place he genuinely feared and suppressed.
In fact, if he decided to test Nero’s theory, the most difficult part of it all would likely not even be in splitting his soul, but in
finding
the damn thing to begin with. Thus, if Nero turned out to be
wrong
, Sehn would put himself through a great deal of misery and humiliation for nothing.
Curse you
,
Nero
!
Before considering going down that path, Sehn decided to try casting the summoning spell a few more times just to be completely certain it did not function the way all other spells he knew did. Even
Remmos Salas
had required several days of practice before he was able to use it properly. Perhaps with just a bit more training, he could make this summoning spell work without resorting to the agony of thinking about his innermost “feelings.”