Authors: Nana Malone
T
his was awesome
. This was where she felt comfortable. Around the cars. They didn't lie. They were honest and grounded. Sort of like math. She understood the mechanics of each of these vehicles. So much better than people.
Derek didn't let her sink too far into her reverie, stopping to ask her about each car. Whether it was faster than another car. How it drove, what it felt like. Then teasingly, if there was enough room. Like an idiot, she'd turned to him. "Enough room for what?"
His smile was broad as he winked.
Ohhh
. "Uh, no. No back seat. Hell some of these only have one seat as it is."
"That's not like you to miss a wide open opportunity for a dirty joke."
"Sorry. Just thinking about how much I miss this. It's been my whole life for so long and I've been away for months. Feels like a lifetime and at the same time feels like I've never left. It's surreal."
"You've come a long way, Kiss. It's amazing actually. Even from the time I showed up, you've made drastic improvements."
She shrugged. "Yeah, well, we'll have to see if it's enough. TJ wants me in Abu Dhabi."
Derek nodded slowly. "He mentioned that there were time trials in a couple of weeks." He looked at her in that unwavering, focused, intense way he had. "You think you'll be ready?"
"Do I really have a choice?" TJ needed her. He'd invested in her and her future for well over a decade. She owed it to him to get her mind in the game and get back on the track. "I have to be."
He was quiet for a moment as he studied the Maserati GranCabrio. "You know you don't have to if you're not ready."
"He needs me, so I'm digging way into my bottom drawer for my big girl panties."
"Somehow I'm guessing they are not as sexy as thongs?"
A laugh bubbled up before she could stop it. "No. More like granny pants."
"Sexy. You sure know how to wind a guy up." Derek pulled her to him and spun her in an easy spin. All she wanted to do was snuggle into him. Let him hold her like she'd been craving. It wouldn't be a sign of weakness to enjoy him. Even if he wasn't sticking around. She was a grown woman. She could have uncomplicated sex.
Then why does he feel like a complication
.
"And you have this way of making me completely speechless. Which given, I'm, well, me, that's saying something."
His voice dropped an octave as he leaned close. "I have other ways of rendering you speechless."
"Oh, I'm so sorry to interrupt.” Except the voice coming from behind Derek didn't sound sorry at all. Nor did it seem like he was leaving to give them some privacy. She wiggled free of Derek's hold. "Antonio, what do you want?"
Her ex stared her down, his gaze sweeping over her body. Only with iron will did she resisted the urge to cross her arms over her chest. How could she have thought she wanted to be with him? She'd been completely broken hearted when he'd left her without a word to go and race for Gifford. Derek shifted so he stood by her side. "Kiss, who's your friend?"
Antonio didn't wait to be introduced, instead, he shoved out a hand. "I'm Antonio Bates. Test driver for Gifford Racing."
Derek's glare spoke volumes and Kiss worked to bite back a laugh. "Oh, so you're the asshole who shoved Kiss into a wall and left her half dead on the track?"
Antonio's olive skin paled. "You shouldn't believe what she tells you. The crash didn't happen like that. If she'd been half as good a driver as Daniels thinks she is, she should have recovered better. Instead, she suffered a catastrophic crash." He tsked. "When are you gonna learn, Kiss, like every other woman who wants to drive, you're better on your back than you are on the track."
Her temper flared to the fore. For two years he'd spread ugly rumors about her and she was done with it. "Antonio, careful, your misogyny is showing."
He wrinkled his brow. And she repeated what she'd said, slowing it down as if he were the village idiot. Mi-so-gy-ny. It means—"
Antonio took a menacing step toward her and Derek blocked his path, shaking his head. "Yeah, you don't want to do that."
He and Antonio squared off for what felt like eons and Kiss stood frozen as her gaze ping ponged between the two men. It was Antonio who backed down. His voice was icy when he said, "One day, Kiss, you and I are going to be having a conversation. You should tell your boy here that you're liable to get hurt if you keep trying to play with the big boys."
She slid her gaze around as if she was looking for someone. "When you see one of the big boys, just let me know. Until then, I suggest you look up the word misogyny since you don't seem to know what it means."
So, maybe goading him wasn't the best idea in the world. Maybe a part of her blamed him for the crash even though she knew it was her fault. Or maybe she was a pressure cooker about to blow. The last few months had been hell and she didn't need this asshole in her face.
Antonio tried to shove past Derek, but he didn't budge and Antonio stepped back with a muffled curse. "You know, I can't help but think about that thing that you used to do with your tongue, you know the one. I wish I could say I missed it. From what I've heard, what you lack in enthusiasm and skill in the sack, you've made up for with sheer numbers. My little Kisima. Always so desperate to be a perfect student. So uptight. You'll have to face it, no amount of studying is going to improve your skills in bed or—"
Derek's fist connected with his jaw. Antonio stumbled backward, nearly tripping over his own feet.
She watched him as he weighed his options and she could almost see his wheels turning. But he backed off. He sneered at her as he gingerly touched his jaw. "If a man's willing to hit for you, maybe your skills have improved. Maybe one of these days we can pick up where we left off." Derek took a step toward him again and Kiss held him back. With an evil grin, Antonio added, "I'll be seeing you around, Kiss."
She shook with fury. "Let's hope not."
As soon as Antonio left the show room, Derek turned to her. "What the fuck was that?"
"
That
was my ex."
***
"You dated that asshole? And he's still in possession of his balls?" Derek glared after Antonio and cracked his knuckles. It had been a long time since he'd hit someone, but damn did that feel good.
Kisima sighed beside him. "It's a very long story for a whole other day. How's your fist. You really didn't need to do that."
He leveled her with a gaze. "Yes. I did. And maybe in the gym, I'll show you how to throw one, because that guy has more than one coming his way. As for that long story, you got somewhere else to be? Come on, tell me, what is that guy's problem?"
"I'm his problem. Always have been." She rubbed her hand over the back of her neck. "We all grew up together, Christian, me, and Antonio. And as kids we were inseparable. You couldn't see two of us without someone asking where the other one was. I wasn't the only one that TJ sponsored. He sponsored Antonio too. But Antonio's dad had been a driver while mine was the engineer. His Dad was good too. Made a decent name for himself in the seventies. But he died in a crash."
"Did he drive for Daniels?"
She shook her head. "He had in the early days, but by then, he'd left and joined another team. After his dad was gone, TJ took Antonio under his wing. Pretty much became his benefactor."
"Like with you."
"Kind of. But with me, TJ was a lot more like a father figure. Both my parents were gone. I had no one. Antonio still had his family for support."
"TJ paid all your fees?"
"Everything. He put on carting camps, had us spend time with the mechanics and engineers, even had drivers mentor us."
"Sounds like he was building the Daniels legacy," he said. He'd always loved basketball, had devoted himself to it, but the racing world seemed like it was on a whole other level.
"Maybe a little of it was that, but I think he liked the companionship for Christian too. Having me around grounded him. With all that Daniels money, he could have easily been the spoiled rich kid. And Antonio, he was good for competition. He'd had the same advantages as Chris, so they were equals. I think TJ thought it was good for Christian to lose every now and again. Back then we lost more races than we won. We were just having fun."
"That's one hell of an expensive joyride."
"You don't even know the half of it. It costs millions to foster a driver up through the ranks. I never could have done it without TJ. The carting years alone cost over a hundred thousand."
Holy shit. "Do you think you would have wanted a different life?"
"I honestly don't know. I maybe would have gone to college properly instead of taking online classes when I can. Maybe I would have met a nice, normal guy instead of the testosteroned-up gear heads. I don't know. This is the life I have, so I guess I have to live it."
The grin spread slowly over his face. "You know that's trademarked, right? You're going to have to pay for use."
She rolled her eyes and laughed as they slipped into the Maserati. "We can discuss payment terms later."
He was going to hold her to that. But no need to scare her off just yet. "Sounds like you guys were a family. What changed? I mean I know sibling rivalry, but I've never ended up hating my siblings or trying to run one of them off the road."
She winced. "And if you had asked me six months ago, I never would have said Antonio would do that to me either." She shook her head. "The problems started as we got older and started to win. Antonio had an innate ability. He just knew how to read the track. He'd learned a lot from his father before he died. Me, on the other hand, I just loved to race. Every day I got to be on the track was just bonus."
"What about Christian?"
"He won sometimes, but not as often. You could see that he just didn't love it the same way. What he loved was TJ's approval and more and more of it was going to me or Antonio. Then Antonio and I started to date. It was like overnight I'd gotten boobs and all of a sudden my best friends started to look at me differently. I think Christian felt left out, even though we were all still together all the time."
"Third wheeling it can be tough."
"I guess so. At any rate, Antonio and I got closer. I had convinced myself I was in love. Daniels was going to become more than just a training facility. And we had to try out just like all the veteran racers looking for a team. In the time trials, of the three of us, Antonio came in first, I came next and Christian was dead last. He didn't qualify to even race in the finals. It was a three-man team and there were six veterans vying for the spot, I knew it was a long shot. The night before TJ was going to announce his team, Antonio and I..." Her voice trailed and her gaze slid away as she suddenly became very interested in something on the dash. She cleared her throat and tilted her head back to meet his gaze directly. "We got together. In my fantasy world, it was this magical thing. At least it felt that way. I thought everything was perfect."
Heat pricked his skin. He had a fair idea where this was going based on what he'd already gleaned from Christian and TJ. "Let me guess, Antonio didn't agree?"
"Well that night he did. Told me he loved me. And like an idiot, I believed him."
He hated the guy even more now. He didn't fault the guy for wanting to play the field, but lying just to get a girl in the sack was low. "What happened after?"
"TJ had a huge press event to cover the team announcement and the reboot of Daniels Racing. And he announced his drivers. He named three veterans and me as the test driver."
Derek sat up straighter. "But didn't Bates beat you?"
She nodded. "Yeah, he did."
"But TJ still chose you?"
"Yeah. I asked him why and all he said was, 'He might be faster, but you're a better driver. You have more heart and you don't think anything should come your way just because.'"
"I'm guessing Antonio didn't take it too well?"
"Understatement of the year. He quit the development team and blamed me for TJ's choice. Joined Gifford the next day as a test driver. Christian was shocked by his choice too. He knew he didn't have a shot, but he wondered why TJ chose me."
"Do you think Christian envied you?"
She shrugged delicate shoulders. "Maybe he envied TJ’s affection a little. But I'm telling you he was mostly unfazed by it all. I don't think he ever planned on being a driver. Shortly after that, it was my eighteenth birthday and the rumors started that I was easy, that I put out. That I was fucking Christian and TJ. I would get these propositions from grown men. Men I'd been around my whole life. They were suddenly these leering jackals."
His stomach turned. "That's terrible."
She shrugged. "It's a boys club. You should hear what the guys say to me on a daily basis. But it still hurt. I was just a kid."
"Antonio started those rumors?"
"Who else? He still blames me for not getting the spot he felt was destined for him. He made test driver for Gifford. But I guess it wasn't enough…"
Derek cursed under his breath. "You should have let me kick his ass."
"As fun as that would be to watch, he's not worth it. I just didn't realize he hated me enough to leave me to die."
He didn't know about that, but it was still worth it to Derek to look into it if he could. Antonio needed to be put in his place.
"
A
re you okay
?" Derek asked Kiss as he let them into the house.
Was she okay? Okay was not quite what she would use to describe how she felt. Embarrassed, yes. Mortified, yes. Furious, hell yes. And she knew she should know better than to let Antonio get to her, but she couldn’t help it. He was the walking, talking, breathing manifestation of one of the biggest mistakes she'd ever made. She shrugged. "Yeah, okay, works for now I guess."
Derek shook his head. "I feel a little responsible or ...something. I wanted to take you out to celebrate how hard you've been working. Instead, I managed to induce a near panic attack and get into a fight with your ex."
He felt bad. But her fear was her own shit and Antonio, well, he was just an asshole of the highest order. She blinked up at Derek and shook her head. Before she could overthink it, she ran up to him and looped her arms around his waist. "No, not your fault. You held my hand when I needed it, and truth be told, the look on Antonio's face was the highlight of my night." She nuzzled closer. Derek hesitated for a second, but then he wrapped his arms around her. Kiss felt like she was melting. With his warmth cocooning her, she felt safe. Cared for.
But there was something else in the air. What had started as a simple hug of gratitude now had sparkly firecrackers added to the edges. When Derek's breathing hitched, she pulled back and met his gaze. She wanted him. Had wanted him.
Be cautious. Remember how this turned out last time.
But even though her mind offered sage advice, instinctively she knew that this was a different situation, that
he
was different.
Kiss reached up and cupped his cheek. His gaze burned as he searched hers, his hands flexing and unflexing on her hips. "Kiss?" A question, a plea, a longing. "I've been dying to taste you again, but—I'm not staying. I'm not the permanent kind of guy. And I fucked up like this before. I work for you." He dropped his forehead to hers. "I'm crawling out of my skin I want you so bad. But this feels so... It could be messy." So much was packed into his whispered words.
She pushed up onto her tiptoes and pulled him to her. For once she had no hesitation, no fear of judgment. She knew what she wanted. "I want this. I know what this is—that it's temporary. But I want it. I want you. I don't want to be so contained all the time, so worried about being perfect. I want to feel."
"God, you're beautiful." His lips were a mere breath over hers and a shudder ran through her body. "Kiss, you..." Derek's voice trailed and his lips slid over hers. Kiss moaned into his mouth. All her brain could manage was,
Oh my God, this
. This was what she'd been dreaming about for weeks and it was finally happening.
He picked her up easily and she latched her legs around his waist. She didn't care where they were going. All she cared about were his hands on her. Making her feel alive. Hot. Wanted.
He licked into her mouth as he fisted her hair. Her head spun as she tried to orient her world. This man's lips should be a registered lethal weapon. They pressed firm, but were velvety soft. And the way he expertly took over the kiss, equal parts teasing and demanding. He left no doubt as to who was in charge of the kiss and how much bliss he could bring her. He was confident. Knew what he wanted. Knew what he was doing.
Holding her tight, he turned down the hall and stalked into one of the bedrooms, kicking the door shut behind them. With a few short strides, he lay her on the bed, following her down. With a muffled growl, he scooted them up toward the headboard, then he dragged her over him so she straddled his lap. Easing up his grip on her hair he gently massaged her scalp until she was nearly limp and pliant in his arms.
His tongue slid over hers easily and she whimpered. Derek nipped at her bottom lip before sucking on it gently. Her lips tingled, the pleasure flowing white hot through her, and she wondered if she might be able to come just from his kisses. And if not, the delicious rub of his cock against her sensitive flesh would do the trick.
One of his big hands gripped her ass, gently rocking her into him as he devoured her mouth. With every rock of their hips together, they both made this satisfied muffled "mmph" sound. As if that was exactly what hit the spot, what they both needed.
She was so close and all he'd done was kiss her. But it was more than that. The tension between them was so thick, winding tighter around them each day that they spent together.
Every day as he held her and helped her and stretched her sore muscles, they'd been careening toward this place, where his hands wouldn't be on her clinically. Where she could just give in to what she wanted without recrimination, without worry about what would happen tomorrow. She trusted him. He wasn't going to hurt her. And this time, she was going in eyes wide open.
Derek tore his lips off of hers, panting as his gaze bore into hers. With a muffled curse, he flipped them until he lay on top of her, his hips fitting in that space she made just for him between her thighs. "You are so beautiful."
She reached for him, making this little mewling sound in the back of her throat. Was that really her? Sounding needy and desperate? "Derek?"
But it was like he couldn't hear her. Against her skin, he whispered, "Did you know showers have taken on a whole new meaning to me? Every morning and night when I take one, I think about you. About how you taste, how your breasts look soaped up. About how bad I want to lick you everywhere. And when I take my cock into my hand, I pretend it's you sliding your fingers over me. Making me feel good. I pretend you're squeezing just how I like, bringing me to my knees. I pretend you're slick, and wet, and ready for me, begging me to make love to you." He nuzzled just behind her ear. "And every time I come, it's your name I call." His teeth grazed her skin and she arched her back.
Her brain offered up the mental image of him stroking his thick erection, squeezing tight as he pulled the skin taut and groaned out her name. "D-do you always use my name when you're touching yourself."
He rocked his hips into her as he kissed the column of her throat. "Yes. Most of the time I imagine you're there, touching me. Wrapping those gorgeous lips of yours around me. Sucking me as you blink up at me, adoringly. And while I'm sliding into your mouth, I'm telling you all the dirty things I'm going to do to you."
Kiss had never imagined she'd like dirty talk. Not that her field of experience was wide and varied, but she loved every word coming out of his mouth. Everything he said to her just made her wetter, especially when he coupled it with rubbing his cock just over her clit. "What kind of dirty things?"
He pulled back a little so he could look at her. A slow devilish smile played across his lips. "Judging by the curiosity in your voice, you want me to tell you every dirty detail, don't you? You want me talking to you all dirty, telling you how I'm going to work my way backwards with you."
Oh God, so close, the tingles spread over her skin and she arched into him, begging him silently for more friction. "Yes, Derek."
"You want me to tell you how you suck my cock so good, taking me deep, using your tongue against me, making me beg."
"Mmmm." More, she needed more.
"Then just as I'm about to explode, I pull out before you can make me come and I slide my cock bare inside your hot little pussy. Inch by inch, you cling onto me, milking me, begging me to come."
Jesus
. Why did the idea of him making love to her without a condom sound so hot? She'd always used condoms. But with Derek, the idea took root and flourished. What would it feel like?
"Then you fuck me so good with your slick wet, heat, and I make you come over and over again."
Oh hell yes. She wanted that, with him. More than she'd ever wanted anybody in her life.
"But I won't be done, sweetheart. Because my rule is ladies first. Then second. And then if I'm lucky, maybe third, before I come. But I still won't be done with you. There's no way that would be enough for me."
He pushed her up and off of him. Her boots went quickly, each falling somewhere by the door. He was impatient with her dress, yanking and tugging quickly until it was somewhere in a corner.
He took his time watching her, paying particular attention to her breasts. When he leaned back over, he reached behind her and unsnapped her bra one-handed. The motion was so quick, she had to laugh. "I see you've had some practice with that."
He smirked as he leaned back over her. "Only a little." Derek kissed her again before sliding his lips to her jaw, his hands rising up to lock with hers.
Kiss rocked her hips upward and reached for him, sliding her fingers though his hair. "Please hurry."
"Don't worry. I'll get there," he said with a chuckle. He grazed along the column of her throat even as his hips rocked into hers, pressing gently. Teasing her with the ridge of his erection. "So you know, after we make love, I'm going to use my fingers, I'll slide them inside you and over your flesh. I'll find your G-spot and touch it just right. Just enough to make you come again. I know you'll be sensitive, but it's going to feel so good."
He sped up his movements, his hips rolling into hers. She rose to meet him, arching her back, begging him to rub her where she needed. His lips skimmed over her skin, across her collarbone to her breast. His words alone were driving her nuts. But coupled with his lips, his hands intertwined with hers, she was ready to explode.
"I want to make love to every inch of you. Especially these. But tonight, when I'm done stroking you with my fingers, I'm going to taste you. I'll put my mouth on you and lick you until you melt." When his lips reached the top swell of her breasts, he moaned. "Jesus, you are so pretty. So full, so soft."
His lips brushed her nipple ever so slightly. The motion sent a spear of need directly to her core. Next he used just his teeth, raking gently. He was careful to keep his full weight off of her. His teeth felt so good and she wondered if it was possible to die from anticipation. When he laved her distended nipple with his tongue, and then wrapped his lips around her, Kiss held on for her life. With tug after deep tug, he sucked on her. It didn't take much, she was so tightly wound. But it was the secondary pleasure when he teased her other nipple with his thumb that sent her over the edge. She came hard and fast, her whole body shaking. "Derek. Oh my God."
He pulled back with a satisfied grin. "That's one." His clothes went quickly and he took far less care with them than he'd taken with hers, except when he snagged a condom out of his wallet. The only other time he slowed was when he worked her panties down her legs.
He hooked his thumbs into the elastic and tugged down. She lifted her hips to help him, and he licked his lips as she placed her sex directly in front of him. Derek kissed down her thighs and her calves to her feet before tossing the flimsy garment over his head.
He sheathed himself before settling between her thighs. "Look at me, Kisima."
As if she could look anywhere else. Even though she felt like a limp noodle, she still wanted more.
One hand teasing the hair at his nape, the other tracing his pecs, she canted her hips up. "Derek, more."
His voice might have been teasing, but she could see the tension in him as his arms shook. He was having a hard time with control.
Would talking to him drive him as crazy as it drove her? He lined his erection up with her opening and she whispered, "I want to know what this feels like bare. Just you and me, nothing between us. Do you think you'll like that?"
He stared down at her, lips slightly parted. "What?"
"It would be a first. I want to know what it feels like to have you come inside me."
He rocked into her in one deep stroke, her name on his tongue. He cursed low and deep, a long drawn out "Fuuuuck."
Derek slid in and retreated, adjusting their position so she sat on his lap. Oh yes, he hit so deep like this. Their motions were a frenzy of skin, lips and hands. There wasn't a part of him he didn't touch her with. Body and soul.
Her second orgasm was stronger than the first, but with a slow build. Once the fire took hold, there was no stopping it and she exploded in his arms. Derek was right behind her. His hips bucked as he came, gripping her ass tight as his muscles corded and his teeth clenched. Kiss wrapped her arms around him, holding tight. He was hers.
For now
…