Authors: Nana Malone
The other man's brows furrowed deep. "But why would he do that?"
"That's probably a question you should ponder for a bit."
Antonio rubbed his jaw. "If you want me to point a finger, fine. You should probably talk to Christian too, come to think of it. He's always been jealous of TJ's relationship with Kiss. But he's a sniveling prick, not homicidal."
Derek left Antonio standing outside the pit. He needed to call Dylan back and tell Kiss what he'd found out. But before he could even climb back into the monstrous gas-guzzler, his phone rang. He answered on the first ring. "This is Derek."
"Derek Donovan?"
"Yeah, who's this?"
"This is Jeremiah Holstrum, General Manager of the Miami Titans. We're in the market for a new trainer and would love to talk to you about the opportunity."
Holy shit
. But Deyshawn had said they'd gone bust on the Titans. When Miami had gained themselves another NBA team like L.A had, everyone was skeptical, but in a few short seasons the Titans were making a name for themselves. "I-I would love that. That's great." But he had to know one thing. "I was under the impression that I was persona non grata with a lot of teams."
Jeremiah didn't beat around the bush. "You were, but after Deyshawn made such a strong case for you, I figured it might be worth a shot. As for Kallie, I need a trainer and her family doesn't own the league."
"Fair enough then.”
"Great. We'd like you to come down on the tenth. Stay through to the week, let us get to know you. You can meet the team and the other trainers. If things go well, we’ll have you digging in the following week. Sort of like a test run. We want to get this moving as quickly as possible."
This was everything he’d wanted, asked for. "That sounds great. I'm looking forward to it."
"Great. I'll email you the details. Look forward to talking to you soon."
This was it, he was back in. The joy and relief intertwined until he leaned back onto the leather interior. It was only after he was halfway home that he remembered Kisima's time trial was the same week he’d be meeting with Miami. And things going well for him meant he’d miss her race entirely.
I
n the morning
, Kiss paced back and forth in TJ's great room. "Antonio did this. I know he did it. We just have to prove it."
TJ rubbed at his beard. "I'm inclined to believe you, but what about what he told Derek."
She turned on him. "TJ, you realize, according to Derek, Antonio is trying to pin some blame on Christian. Your
son
. My friend. This is clearly Antonio shifting blame.”
Derek cranked his neck. "Seriously, Kiss, your loyalty is admirable. It is. I mean, one day I hope someone believes in me the way you believe in him. Difference is, I'd deserve it."
TJ Shrugged. "He's my son and I love him, but Jesus, Kiss, he's turned his back on this family more than once. I would rather not believe that he wants to hurt you, because, hell, I raised him, and I want to believe that he would never sink this low, but, for years, he's proven we can't depend on him."
Kiss ran her hands through her hair. Anger and despair rolling through her in waves. "You cannot give up on him. We need to be looking at other alternatives. And if you won't, I will because I believe in him. I'll hire someone to look into Antonio if I have to. Do you remember what that guy did to me? If it's a choice between the two, then I choose to believe Christian."
Derek groaned and shoved to his feet. "You are a smart woman. Why do you insist on trusting him?"
"Why do you refuse to trust me? My instincts, Derek?"
His gaze softened, and she wondered if he was going to kiss her, but then his phone rang. With an exasperated sigh, he dragged it out of his pocket. "Give me a second."
He left the two of them in the study and went out on to the side veranda overlooking the pool.
"It's obvious you love him. Be careful of your relationship with Christian if you do."
She frowned. "I—" Her gaze shifted to Derek as he walked out toward the pool. "I—I think..."
TJ's smile was warm. "You think too much. Ever since you were a little girl you've worried about things being just so. About everything being perfect, about you being perfect. Sometimes love is messy."
She sighed. Messy. That was one word for it. Her feelings for him were a total jumble. She cared about him, she wanted him. But he was leaving eventually. They only had another couple of weeks together. She shoved down the pang of pain as she swallowed hard. "It's complicated."
"As is my son."
Kisima shook her head. "You can't honestly think he would hurt me intentionally. We've been best friends since we were eight. He loves me. He wouldn't hurt me."
He nodded. "He does love you, but sometimes wanting something too much can twist how far you're willing to go to get it."
No. She was not going to think that way. "Sure, he's asked me out before, but it's not like that with us. I swear."
TJ nodded. "Okay. You have faith in him, so I'll follow your lead. I need to make some calls. There usually isn't any footage of the track before the event, but I'll start discretely asking questions. See if there were any security breaches at the track that day. I'll also start trying to track Antonio's timeline for the day. In the meantime, we need to get you focused on the race. Someone, presumably Antonio, wanted you to lose enough to sabotage you."
"Okay. I'll grab Derek and get down to the gym. Best thing I can do is get my body ready."
"That's my girl. I don't want you to lose focus. We'll get to the bottom of this."
She kissed him on the cheek and went on the hunt for Derek. As she approached, she heard…"I'm thrilled about the opportunity. I'll see you Monday. Miami is a great city. I look forward to meeting with you."
Pain sliced through her, hot and fast. He was leaving. Her breath grew shallow and choppy.
You knew this would happen
. But cerebrally knowing and
actually
knowing were two different things. Monday meant he was leaving early. Right before her time trial? Despite his promise to go all the way with her.
That second, he turned around and he froze as their gazes locked.
He spoke softly, but rapidly into the phone. "Jeremiah, let me call you back." As soon as he hung up, he reached for her. "Kiss."
"Don't." The command halted him in his tracks.
He shook his head and sighed. "I was going to tell you."
A hysterical laugh bubbled out of her throat. "When? As you were heading to the airport?"
"Look, they called yesterday and I was looking for the right time to tell you. I planned to do it tonight."
Her lungs constricted and every breath she sucked in hurt like needles scraping her heart. "So instead of telling me anytime in the hours we had last night, or the several hours we've had together today, you were going to wait until what, tonight at dinner?"
"That was the idea." He took a tentative step toward her. "Look, I know I promised that I'd be there at the time trials and the race, but you don't need me. You're ready. You have two weeks to go before Abu Dhabi. I'm sort of obsolete at this point."
She knew she should play it cool, be blasé, but it hurt too much. "So all that stuff you said about being there to the end was total bullshit."
"No. I wanted to be, but this is the chance for me to get to my dream. I have to take it. Especially when I didn't think I'd get another shot. It just came up. You're getting your dream, Kiss. Shouldn't I get mine?"
"Of course you should. I want that for you. I just would have liked you to show me a little respect and tell me sooner rather than later. I've been counting on you. When I clearly shouldn't have been." She swiped at her nose with the back of her hand. "Funny thing is, if you'd told me, I would have told you to go."
"Kiss..."
She shook her head. "No, I get it. You have a dream to follow and so do I." Her eyes stung and she blinked away the impending tears. She was not going to cry in front of him. She was going to go and cry into a tub of Haagen Dazs like a normal person. "I'm just the idiot who fell in love with you." She turned and stalked away before he could see the first splash of tear on her cheek.
D
erek told
himself that he would not check his phone again. He wouldn't. Nope. Nein. He would— Who the hell was he kidding? He picked it up and stared at the screen. Nothing. No missed calls, no texts, no GFY letters, nothing.
She's not going to call you, asshole
.
You left her when she needed you
.
He rubbed at the center of his chest. Since leaving on Saturday, he hadn't been able to dull the ache. He tossed the phone on the giant king size bed in the hotel room and picked up his laptop to try to distract himself. He had an interview to prep for. He didn't have time to be hung up on her. This was his career.
And this was love.
He shoved the thought aside and pulled up his notes on the team members. Their known injuries and treatments. Then he continued creating case studies for alternative ways he may or may not have treated them—always selecting the least invasive way that led to long-term overall health of the athlete. Some teams weren't really looking for that, but the Titans had always said they were looking for long-term guys who would make Miami their home. To be cornerstones of the franchise. Like Tim Duncan in San Antonio. But who knew what would happen. Once they started making an even bigger name for themselves, it might not be possible. It all depended on the coach really.
When his phone rang, he dove for it, nearly losing his laptop to the floor. "Kiss?"
There was a beat of silence. "No. Sorry, little brother. It's just me."
Delilah
. "Oh, hey. What's up?"
"So it's true then? You left her behind to pursue the job in Miami? I mean Dylan said that's what you'd done, but I didn't really believe him. Not after you've seen the mess I went through with Nate and what Mia went through with Ryan."
When Dee had met Nate, nothing had gone as expected. And, come to think of it Nate had been Delilah’s client. Their romance had ended up on the cover of magazines. And Mia and Ryan, well, their relationship had played out in front of television crews. "Shit, Delilah, I don't need a lecture right now. You wouldn't understand anyway."
"Try me, D3."
"Look, she made it clear, she wasn't looking for long-term. She wanted fun and less seriousness. I'm the one who didn't listen and developed feelings."
"Clearly she had feelings for you, too."
"Well, the first sign of anything I saw was when I told her I was leaving."
His sister was quiet for a minute. "If she'd told you how she felt earlier, would you have stayed?"
Wasn't that the question of a lifetime? "I don't know."
"Uh huh."
He ran a hand through his hair. "Did you call to berate me about my love life or was there another reason."
"Have you forgotten, multitasking is my wheelhouse."
"Whatever."
She sighed. "Okay, I'll lay off, but we'll come back to this. I found you a way out of the Jaguars mess."
He sat up straighter. "Oh yeah?"
"Turns out that you're not the only one that Kallie went after or wrongfully terminated. Have you ever heard of Wilson Spruce?"
Spruce, Spruce
? "Yeah, I think he was a center for LSU like a million years ago. Decent player from what I recall."
"He was supposed to be drafted to the Jaguars."
"Oh yeah, I think I remember that. Everyone said he was going to go as a first or second round pick for them, then come draft day, he wasn't picked up."
His memory bank vault clicked into place. "Oh yeah. It was like the worst kept secret in sports. He was going to New Orleans. Everyone expected it, then when it came down to it they didn't pick him. He went to Minnesota or somewhere as a free agent. Played a couple of years then went to play for Spain I think."
"Damn, I'm not sure how you store all that useless basketball knowledge, but whatever. Well, I dug around and made a few calls. Spruce was said to have met a young Kallie Wintor at a party. Boys being boys, he took advantage of what she was offering. But he was young, a fresh prospect, women were throwing themselves at him and he wasn't interested in a relationship. Three weeks later, come draft time, guess who's not a pick."
Is that what had happened? "Shit. Delilah, can we use that? Is there a strong enough link?"
"You bet your ass we can. Couple that with a suit she settled out of court, and it's enough leverage to get them to overturn your termination I think."
"What was the one that was settled?" Why hadn't he heard of a lawsuit against any of the Endelsteins? He regretted not going to Delilah sooner. He could have put this shit to bed weeks ago.
"A guy named Tony Murray. He was assistant general manager of the Jaguars. They started a legitimate relationship. But when he didn't propose, she had him fired. Or so the rumor goes. We'll never know for sure. He sued her for wrongful termination and they settled out of court. As part of the settlement, they put a gag order on him, but the fact that she was sued is on public record."
"Remind me never to piss you off, Dee."
She laughed. "I thought you would have learned that just from being my brother."
“Consider this my reeducation. Seriously, I really appreciate you going out on a limb for me."
"Don't mention it. I've already sent this information to Dad that he'll use in the appeal. You have her on the ropes. You can have whatever you want from her. It's up to you. Do you want to be back in NOLA?"
What did he want?
Kiss
. The thought just popped in his head and he slammed it down. Even if that was true, he'd fucked that up now. There was no way she was taking him back. "Not sure. I'll see what Miami has to say."
"Keep your options open. Good idea. You know I heard a tale told that they had basketball teams in Los Angeles too, but I can't really be sure."
Derek shook his head. "Ha. Ha. I get the idea, Dee."
"I just want you to be happy, D3. You have to open your heart sometime."
"I know. And I appreciate it. But I don't think I can focus on my relationships right now. I need a job first."
"Okay, I hear you and I'll lay off. But just so you know, you can have both. You don't have to choose either or."
He hung up with his sister and checked his messages again. No texts. He really needed to stop fucking torturing himself. He had two choices, go back to her and start from square one on the job, or pursue the only solid lead he had. Delilah was wrong. He couldn't have it both ways.
***
Kisima ignored the burning in her eyes as she drove. At this point, she couldn't tell if she was crying because of Derek or from the speed and wind. Either way it didn't matter. The track was the only place she'd felt marginally better in the last three days. She needed to be tougher than this. She hadn't survived Antonio just to repeat the same mistakes. She needed to toughen up.
When her barely there tires finally forced her to pit, she pulled in and took a moment to let herself decompress before undoing her latches and letting herself out of the car. She'd punished herself on the track, and as a result, everything hurt. Including her shoulder. Her hip ached too—not as bad as before, but a massage and stretch following a hot bath were definitely in order.
And then it hit her like it always did. She'd have to call in a masseuse because she didn't have a live-in one anymore. Granted, there was always a point where Derek's massages seemed to take a sensual turn. Well, that certainly wouldn't be happening anymore.
When she went back, he wouldn't be there. She would be completely alone. For only the hundredth time in the last several days, she tried to silence his voice in her head. “I'll be with you all the way. It's you and me. But we need to trust each other. If you work hard, I will not abandon you.
”
He didn't love her. And he sure as hell wasn't right for her.
She dragged off her helmet and her mask, handing them off to Trip Rawlings, one of the engineers. "Shit, Kiss, the devil chasing you or something?"
She tilted her chin up and glared at him. She liked Trip, but she was in no mood for any of his downhome wisdom right about now. "Why do you ask?"
He had the good sense to back up a step. "Just saying, you pushed yourself and the car today. That's all."
The last thing she wanted was somebody telling her what to do. "Well the race is in a few days. She had better be ready. If that car can't handle what I did to her on the track, she has no business being in Abu Dhabi on Saturday."
He nodded. "Yeah, okay."
She may have been right, but she didn't have any right to take out her frustration on him. "Sorry, Trip. Just had a long day."
"I hear you." He nodded and helped her out of her Nomex suit. As she peeled away the fire retardant material, she could finally breathe again. Too bad it hurt like a bitch to do so.
The phone in the main office rang and one of the techs picked it up. She stepped out of her suit and thanked Trip, but she froze when she saw the tech's face.
"What is it? What's the matter?" she asked, her heart pounding enough to crack a rib. She didn't know what it was, but she instinctively knew, whatever it was, it wasn't good news.
"Kiss, you need to get to Cedars-Sinai right away. TJ's collapsed."
Her world stopped. She couldn't breathe, couldn't move. Because if she did, she'd shatter. So she just stood there. Peripherally, she knew that she needed to be moving, getting in her car, driving to the hospital...something, but she couldn't. It was like the weight of the last three days rooted her to her spot and she was incapable of movement.
Through a long tunnel, Trip's voice finally filtered in. "Kisima. Kisima. Do you want me to drive you?"
Drive her...drive her? She frowned as his words sunk in. He was offering to drive her to the hospital...to see TJ. Because he had collapsed. The only father she'd known since she was eight was lying in a hospital bed and she couldn't move. Couldn't act.
And then the single thought permeated. Call Derek.
That jarred her into movement.
No
. There would be no calling Derek. There would be no white knight riding in to save the day. She had to save herself. Just like always. "Uh, no. I'll drive myself."
Once she was in motion, it was impossible to stop her. She ran all the way back to the house, pausing only to grab a sweatshirt and her phone, her previous soreness forgotten. She couldn't lose TJ too. Not after everything. She needed him. Even if he was overbearing, even if he was autocratic, for better or worse, he was like her father.
On the way, she called Christian. He didn't answer...again. So she texted:
911 Call me. TJ's in the hospital.
And then she prayed to anyone and everyone she thought might listen.