“So, Dashy, are you racing this year?” Slade asks and I hear his friend’s chuckle.
I turn to face him again, with a snarky smile on my face. “Now Slade, I know you didn’t finish school, but I’m fairly certain you aren’t that stupid. If you’re serious about racing, you always know who you’re up against. It’s racing law.”
His smirk fades. “I know who I’m up against, and I know who’ll win.”
“Good, then the conversation is finished.”
“You can’t beat me Dashy,” he says, “I learned from the best.”
“I could say the same,” I snap, shoving a note towards the cashier, who hands me a coffee.
“Really? How did your father teach you, when he barely leaves the couch? Let me guess, you’re off getting him alcohol right now?”
That hurts.
Hits me right in the heart. I turn and storm over, and then I tip the scalding coffee all over his lap.
“I hope you rot in hell, Slade.”
Then I tear out the door, listening to his pained bellows as the coffee burns his skin. I get to my car and fumble to unlock it. I’m angry, but mostly I’m hurt. I remember a time when Slade and I got along so well. Then wining took over and it took the boy I knew with it. I feel tears burn hot as I slide into the car and turn it on, jerking it to life. I drive straight to the liquor shop and it’s the first time I wonder if I’m doing the right thing, buying this for my father. Damn you Slade. Damn you.
“What’s the matter, baby girl?” Dad asks, as soon as I step through the door.
“I saw Slade.”
His face falls. “Is everything ok? Did he upset you?”
“Yes, but I dealt with it.”
“Dash, we have been over this. You need to control your temper to win.”
I glare at him. “Yes dad, I know that. Okay? You remind me every damn day.”
“I know that, but I also know how much Slade affects you. Stay away from him
Dash, he’s no good for you. I won’t have him ruining this.”
I glare at my father, truly horrified.
This coming from the man who doesn’t leave the couch. “Maybe if you came down once in a while, you would be able to keep an eye on me!”
He reels back and stares at me shocked. “I’m sorry
Dasha, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I sigh, there’s no point in going over this with him now. “It wasn’t you who upset me, just give me a minute, ok?”
I toss the bottle of bourbon on the couch and walk up the narrow stair case to my room. When I get in, I close the door behind me and sigh. I could deal with anyone racing against me, but Slade? He’s good and he knows it. He also knows how to wind me up. Slade knows how to get into my heart and find all the hurts I’ve locked so carefully away. He knows how to get to me and dammit, I hate him for that. I close my eyes and push the memory of those beautiful aqua eyes from my head. My phone begins buzzing nosily beside me, with a sigh, I pick it up.
“Hello?”
“Hey beautiful girl.”
“Hey Lucas, how are you?”
Lucas and I are great friends. Ok, at one point, we were more than friends, but we’ve not taken it further, because, I’m really not sure I feel about him the way he does about me. We had one night of romance, and it was nice, but I am still hesitant. It’s not that Lucas isn’t beautiful, because oh, he is. He’s the perfect man in every way, he’s handsome, he’s sweet, he’s charming, and he adores me, but I don’t want to hurt him by giving my heart, if it’s not ready to be given.
“I’m
good, I was wondering if you needed a ride to the race this afternoon?”
“That would be
great, I don’t want to take my car.”
“I’ll pick you up in an hour then, maybe we can go to dinner after?”
“Sure, that would be great.”
“I’ve missed you Dash, I haven’t seen you in a week.”
“Sorry, I’ve been trying really hard to get those applications out.”
His voice softens. “How’s that going?”
“It’s confusing,” I admit, lying back on my bed.
“I know, but it’ll be worth it. You can’t race
forever, it will be good to have a backup.”
“Yeah, I think so too.”
“Alright, well I’m going to be swing by in an hour, ok?”
“Ok Luke, thank you.”
“Anytime, baby girl, see you.”
“Bye.”
I hang the phone up and drop down onto my bed with a sigh. I love racing, I love everything about it, but I hate that my competition is the one person, I can’t deal with. Life would be so much easier if we just got along. I know we should have tried, we should have talked after that night, but when he left without a goodbye, I just couldn’t move past it. The damage was done.
I roll off my bed with a grumble and dig through my closet to find my jeans and my red racing shirt. “Flash Racers” is what the club is called. They’re a well-known racing club and have travelled all over the world to compete. This year we’re racing for the big guns, ten laps, best speed,
state champion. That state champion then moves on to the world qualifiers, racing for a place in the world championships. I want that championship. I want to be the first girl to win it. I want all my hard work and my father’s hard work to pay off.
I shake the thoughts from my head and focus back on the moment. I walk into the bathroom and peer into the mirror. My eyes look a little bloodshot, maybe from Slade and my awful encounter earlier. I take my hair in my hands and I tie it up. I have tack,
straight blonde hair. My eyes are a dark chocolate brown, which is quite odd considering how fair my hair is. I stare at myself in the mirror and feel my eyes well up. I look more and more like my mother, as the years go by.
My mother was the kind of beautiful that stopped people in their tracks. Not only that, but she had this personality to go with it. Her laugh was infectious, her voice like a song. She was beautiful inside and out. She had the same blonde hair as me, only her eyes were blue. I got my brown eyes from my
dad, it’s about all I got from him. The rest of me is all her, and there are days, I’m sure, it pains my father to look at me.
I wash my face with some cool water, and then I turn and head out of my room. When I’m down the stairs, my father is standing in the kitchen, pulling a packet of potato crisps out of the pantry. Oh dad. I wish he would take better care of himself. I wish he would just pick himself up and move on. I know it’s hard, it’s always hard to move on and pick yourself back up again, but eventually you have to do it. My father doesn’t want to do it. He doesn’t even want to try. He lets guilt swallow him and lead him further and further into darkness.
“Dad, that’s not healthy.” I chastise, gripping my keys off the counter top.
He looks up at me, his mouth is moving slowly as he crunches away. He swallows and then smiles. “You don’t worry about me Dash, go and have fun.”
“Dad, you know I do worry about you. I don’t want you eating foods that will make you…sick.”
“Or fat.” He points out with a smile.
“Dad…”
“Sorry Dash, I’ll go easy. How are you feeling about the race this afternoon?”
I shrug. “As good as can be expected.”
“You just remember what I taught you and don’t let Slade taunt you, he is doing it to hit you where it hurts.”
“I know dad.”
I hear a car pull up out the front and I’m grateful Lucas is here already. I quickly kiss dad on the cheek and then rush out before he can say anymore. I leap down the front steps two at a time and grin when Lucas slides out of the car. He’s gorgeous really, with blonde hair, blue eyes and that light olive skin. Today he’s dressed in a tight fitting white shirt and blue jeans, a pair of sun glasses cover his eyes. I smile and rush over, tucking my arms around his waist.
“Hey Dash, I’ve missed you.”
I pull back and peer up at him with a smile. Part of me wants so much to love Lucas the way he loves me, but the other part of me is stuck in the past and I don’t want to be the girl that plays with a man’s heart. Until I can give my entire heart to him, then I won’t give him any at all. Well, to a point anyway, he knows I love him to death, in the friendship way. Lucas has been with me for two years now and he’s been my rock during many hard times.
“I’ve missed you too Luke, thanks for taking me today.”
“Always, how are you feeling about racing Slade again?”
Lucas knows about Slade and me, he’s probably the only person who does. I frown and rest my cheek against his chest.
“I’m ok with it, I have to be, I guess.”
“Just keep your head in the game and forget he’s even there.”
“He makes that kind of hard.”
Lucas snorts. “Yeah, well, I’ll be there. Just focus on me.”
I beam up at him. “Thanks Lucas, you’re the best.”
He kisses my forehead. “Always.”
The race track is fairly empty when we arrive. It’s not a scheduled race, more of a practice to gather our best times, so only the sponsors and VIP’s come down. When Lucas pulls up, I slide out of the car and pull my sunglasses down over my eyes. Lucas takes my hand and we begin walking towards the group of people standing by the four cars that are ready to race. When I see my manager and friend, John, I smile. He walks over smiling at me.
“How are you feeling today, Dash?”
“Good, ready to kick Slade’s ass.”
He chuckles and stares back over at the group of people. “He’s got a cheer squad.”
I peer over and see Slade standing in a pair of jeans and a black and white racing shirt. He’s surrounded by women and one in particular catches my eye. She’s blonde, skinny and has boobs that are pretty much busting out of her tiny red top. She’s holding his hand and running her hands all over him. Slade has a girl now? Why is my chest clenching? I hate that after three years, he still makes my heart feel like
it’s being wrenched from my chest.
“Well, let’s get this over with.” I mutter.
We walk across the dirt track and stop at the group of people. Slade looks over at me and his eyes scan my body, causing shivers to run up my spine. I hate when he looks at me like that, and then runs his tongue over his bottom lip. It gives me tingles right to my core.
“Dashy, you made it.”
“Yes, I did. How’s your groin?” I smirk.
The blonde girl grips his arm and slides her hand over his chest. “Oh, his groin is just fine.”
I glare at her. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”
“Dashy, this is my girlfriend Kandee.”
“That’s Kandee with a K and EE,” she adds in with a smile.
I snort. “It doesn’t matter how you spell it, you’re still named after a sweet treat.”
“Well, I think it’s wicked that she’s named after something sweet, firm and fuckin’ yummy.” Slade grins, sliding his tongue over his bottom lip and grinning down at her. Ugh, mega jerk.
“Depends how you look at it,” I add, “I think of it more like something that tastes nice for a moment, but then it turns to shit and gets disposed of like old trash. The thrill is really only there for what? Two minutes?”
Kandee gapes at me and Slade’s grin widens. Lucas snorts a laugh and John chuckles, but attempts to cover it with a cough.
Slade takes the taunt with a grin, like he always does. “I look forward to racing my hot headed little mate once more.”
“I hope you look forward to losing too,” I scoff.
“Oh, I won’t lose baby and you know it.”
I glare at him, he simply smiles that charming smile at me. I shake my head and look away.
“What, no witty comeback?”
I turn and my eyes narrow. “I don’t want to waste my breath on someone like you, Slade, it’s not worth my time.”
I turn and walk off, heading towards my car with a new determination. I won’t let him beat me, not this time.
“Dash!”
Lucas is calling me, but I’m not listening. I get to my car, it’s red and white, my favorite
colours. The number along the side is ‘77’, also a favorite of mine and my father’s. My car has a blown engine, which in the racing world, means supercharged. It’s the only advantage I have. Slade’s car is top notch and has handy little things that mine doesn’t. He can take me easily in the first ¼ mile, but I usually catch him once my car kicks to life.
I get into the car and Lucas grips my hand just as I’m pulling on my helmet. “Dash, you’re mad, it’s not safe to race when you’re so angry.”
I look up at him. “I’m fine, I have to do this Luke.”
He looks at me painfully. “Don’t let him get to you.”
I force a smile on my face. “I’m ok, thank you.”
John appears in the open door space when Lucas steps back, and stares down at me. “Dash, are you sure you’re up for this?”
“I’m fine, John.”
“I know I can’t stop you, but think with your head and not your heart out there today. Slade’s in a mood now, and he’s as determined as you are. Let him take the first ¼ mile, you know he takes off quickly and it’s his weakness. Let him get cocky, let him think he’s won and then you plant it.”