Rain (18 page)

“How do you plan to dry your pants with that thing?” I teased, shutting off the hairdryer.

“I have my ways.” He winked with a mischievous grin. I looked at him curiously when his hands went to his belt buckle, and then I realized what he meant. Heat rose to my face again.

“You can use this,” I blurted out, practically throwing the hairdryer at him.

He released a deep chuckle and took it from me. Would I have enjoyed watching him take his pants off? Yes. Would that have been majorly awkward? Double yes. I wasn’t used to handling mostly naked guys, especially ones I had just kissed for the first time, although it had been a majorly overdue kiss.

We were in that bathroom for a while. Luckily, no one tried to come in because it would have been interesting to try to explain. Once we were as dry as we could get, we left the bathroom together hand in hand. I didn’t take it for granted; I loved every nanosecond of him holding my hand. With as much as I wanted him and how my feelings had only grown since we met, I couldn’t believe he actually wanted me back. I really hoped this wasn’t a dream, because if I woke up from it, my heart would shatter. This was the best day ever, and it was worth everything I’d gone through in the hospital. Worth surviving.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

It stopped raining shortly after we left the bathroom, so it was safe to leave the law firm. He dressed me in his jacket and my new helmet again before we rode off. We managed to make it back to his driveway without it raining on us, but the rain didn’t look like it was going to hold off for long.

I didn’t want to go home yet. I wasn’t ready for this day to end, but it looked like it was. Grudgingly, I let go of my firm grip around his waist and got off his bike. He swiftly got off after me, and I barely had time to remove the helmet before he grabbed my hand and started pulling me toward his door.

“I’m making you dinner,” he announced without giving me a choice. He didn’t want this day to end either, and he was going to cook for me. This day just kept getting better.

“You cook?” I asked as he put the key in the door and opened it. I followed him inside and shut the door behind me. No one else was here; it would just be us. His father had gone to some golf thing a few hours away for the weekend.

“Don’t get too excited. Nothing fancy, but I do grill a mean burger,” he boasted.

I had never been a huge meat eater, but burgers were my weakness. I watched him as he shrugged off his jacket and washed his hands before he went to work.  He pulled out a package of hamburger and made patties on a cutting board. Then pulled out some seasoning and sprinkled some on each side of the four patties. I wasn’t sure how many burgers he expected me to eat, but I wouldn’t be able to eat more than one, so I hoped he planned on eating three. When he finished prepping the patties, he grabbed a bag of hamburger rolls and headed for his back door.

“You are actually grilling outside? It could rain again,” I asked, having assumed when he said
grill
he meant on the stove.

He shook his head. “It’s not the same on the stove. My back porch has a roof, so it will be fine,” he assured me.

“Okay…” I said, still not sure.

“Don’t worry. If you get wet, I’ll dry you off again.” He winked, opening the door and stepping out onto the back porch, which I had never been on before.

I resisted telling him that wouldn’t be necessary since my house was across the street this time. I just enjoyed the fact that he wanted to dry me off anyways instead.

The back porch was more like a deck. It was a large rectangle with a roof fashioned above it, held up by wooden poles. The grill was also large and hung out near the end of the porch. My eyes found the worn green and white porch swing, and a smile spread across my face. Once I saw it, I didn’t waste time to make myself comfortable on it. I had always wanted a porch swing, but we didn’t have a great porch to have one on.

I sat down on the soft cushion and rocked in it. The freshly cut grass, which could still be smelled, ran to the ends of the property, where the shrubbery stood, and it was a nice view. It would have been even more gorgeous if there were gardens, but men lived here, so I understood the lack of them. The breeze picked up a little, and I was glad that I’d kept Kyle’s jacket on. I retreated farther into it to stay warm.

“Cold?” he asked with a chuckle. Apparently he had been watching me.

“A little,” I admitted, smiling sheepishly.

“You can hang out inside,” he said with concern.

“No, I’m fine. I like it out here,” I told him, smiling.

He put down the spatula he had in his hand and walked over to me, placing his hands on the cushion on each side of my legs. Leaning down, he kissed me with determination.

“Better?” he asked as he withdrew from me.

Yup. I wasn’t cold anymore.

I just nodded, and he smiled before releasing his grip on the cushion and going inside his house. He came back, put a few more things by the grill for the burgers, and then placed a blanket over my legs. Wow. That was all kinds of sweet and thoughtful.

“Thanks,” I told him, letting the smile I felt reach my face so he could see it.

He went back to the grill, finished up the burgers, and grilled the rolls. He prepared them and came over to me with two plates, handing me one. I stared at the double cheeseburger in front of me, and my eyes went wide.

“I can’t eat all of this!” I exclaimed as he sat down next to me, making the swing rock.

“Wait until you taste it before you decide that,” he said cockily.

I sighed and bit into it. Amazingness exploded in my mouth. He had used mozzarella cheese instead of American, which I hadn’t expected, and it made it taste so much better. Ketchup was not used as a condiment; it was some other sauce that had a little spicy kick to it. I had never tasted anything like it. He’d clearly earned his cockiness.

I greedily took another bite and decided he might be right about my being able to finish the whole thing. Talking wasn’t an option because I couldn’t stop eating the delicious burger. Within minutes, it was devoured. I hadn’t eaten that much at one time in a while. He hadn’t even finished his yet, which made me a bit embarrassed.

“I take it you liked it?” he chuckled smoothly.

“Meh, it was okay,” I teased as my mouth watered for more, even though I was more than full. If I could get him to keep making me burgers, I would gain my weight back in no time. I think I just fell in love with him just for his grilling skills.

He smirked at me, knowing I’d liked it more than just okay. He popped the last piece of his burger in his mouth and stood up, taking both of our plates with him and bringing them inside. I was about to get up and help him pick up when he came back and sat down with me again. This time, he stole some of the blanket for his legs also. I felt warmer with him next to me like this.

“What do you want to do after you graduate?” he asked, catching me off guard. He looked at me and waited for an answer like it was a simple question. Maybe before it would have been, but now it wasn’t.

“I have to get through high school first. If I make it,” I said honestly.

He frowned at me and grew serious. “You can’t live like you may not make it and not do what you want to do with your life. You had cancer, and it could come back or it may never come back. You don’t know, but don’t live like you still have it,” he lectured, and I felt like I was in trouble. It was hard to plan the future after not knowing if I would have one.

I looked away from him, not liking this conversation much. “I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do before I got sick. I wanted to go to college, but I hadn’t figured out what I wanted to do yet,” I explained, hoping he wasn’t upset with this response.

His frown lessened and he took my hand in his. “Nothing wrong with that, I’m still figuring out what I want to do. I just don’t want you to give up on thinking about what you want. That is all,” he told me sincerely, making me feel a little better. The corner of his mouth turned up. “What did you want to be when you were a kid?” he continued, lightening the subject. Every child had a dream, some unrealistic goal they thought would come true until they grew up and reality set in. Reality sucked like that.

I rattled off my list. “Let’s see… A figure skater, a dancer, and a singer. You know, the things all girls dream about being.” His eyes sparked with interest. “What about you?”

“I wanted to be like my dad, so a lawyer I guess. I thought I would dress up in a suit like him and go to work. I used to walk around in his dress shoes—or try since they were way too big for me. He was my idol, but now I don’t know what I want to be, and I’m clearly not a suit person.” He smiled, eyes lighting up as he thought about the memory. It brought tears to my eyes. It was sweet. I could picture the little boy on his dad’s shoulders in the photograph I had seen wandering around the house in his father’s shoes.

“Does your dad want you to be a lawyer?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “He never put pressure on me, but being here, I feel like he wants me to.”

“But you don’t want to?” I questioned, feeling like there was more than he was saying. His forehead scrunched as he thought about it like it was a puzzling question.

“Sometimes I want to, but other times I feel like I wouldn’t be cut out for it. If I decided to try to do this, then my dad might get his hopes up, and I also don’t want to disappoint him any more than I probably already have,” he said sadly.

“I think he would just be happy that you tried. Isn’t it better to try and see what happens than wonder if you could have done it? You just got upset because I wasn’t allowing myself to think about the future, but what about you? You aren’t sick. You shouldn’t take that for granted.” I crossed my arms, staring pointedly at him.

I wasn’t a big fan of him holding me to some kind of standard that he wasn’t willing to hold himself to. His eyes got wide. He hadn’t been expecting me to react like that and pretty much lecture him back.

“Ouch. You have a point… I guess I should have thought about that,” he admitted, looking a bit ashamed. “But do I look like someone who would be a lawyer?” he tried to say jokingly. I stood up, eyes boring into his with my hands on my hips. The blanket dropped to the ground.

“It’s just freaking clothes. The clothes don’t make you who you are or show how smart you are. If you let people assume that of you because of how you choose to dress and you start to believe it, then you need to do something about it. Kyle, you would look good in a suit. Plus they are usually black so it wouldn’t change from your standard color theme anyways.” I tried to sound less harsh in the end. I wasn’t trying to be mean, but damn, that kind of pissed me off. I knew he was smarter than he let people know. I always saw it in his eyes. Honestly, I was pretty sure he would look good in anything, although he shouldn’t stop wearing that leather jacket of his.

He stood up, surprise still across his face. “Taylor, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was trying to lighten the topic a little.” He spoke quickly, gently pulling my hand into his.

“I know you were, but the problem is that I could tell part of you believed what you were saying.” I tried to soften my voice. I didn’t want to yell at him or be upset with him. I just wanted him to see himself the way I did.

“I’ll think about it more and see if it is something I really want to do. Thank you for caring. I hope you won’t stay mad at me,” he said, his eyes searching mine.

I squeezed his hand. “I’m not mad at you,” I responded with a smile. I wasn’t sure if I could really be mad at him. Plus I didn’t want to ruin this perfect day.

He smiled back at me, relieved, and pulled me into him, hugging me tightly. “I wish you had never gotten sick,” he whispered sweetly in my ear.

“I don’t,” I replied softly, surprising myself and him.

Hadn’t that been what I had been wishing since I found out? What I had wanted more than anything? Everything had changed, and underneath all of the torn-apart pieces of my life before, I’d found something better than I had ever had. Kyle. I didn’t want to give him up for anything, and the chance of meeting him and having the relationship I had with him if I hadn’t gotten sick was pretty low.

He pulled back from me and looked at me, confused and stunned by my answer. “You don’t?” His voice rose.

“No, because I wouldn’t have been sitting in front of your house that day you talked to me and we might not have talked or become friends,” I admitted, telling him that he was the reason.

He sucked in a breath as he took in my words. “I would have talked to you,” he promised.

“But would it have been the same? My being sick brought us together somehow and also caused Austin to leave me. I would probably still be with him otherwise,” I professed, making him flinch at the mention of being with Austin still. Although that might not be true, because if I’d still met Kyle, then eventually I might have decided to end things with Austin. I had had a draw to Kyle since we met—one I hadn’t wanted to admit at first, but a strong one regardless.

“I don’t know…” He looked down with a frown, which made me cringe. I wasn’t trying to upset him or talk about my ex. I was trying to tell him that it was worth it to be with him.

“I’m not trying to upset you,” I told him, making him look up at me again. “I just want you to know that if going through that meant getting you and this perfect day, then I would do it all over again,” I confessed, laying my feelings out there for him. If he hadn’t told me he loved me earlier, then it probably would have been way more terrifying to do.

“Wow—I don’t know what to say other than that I would never want you to go through that for me. Since there wasn’t a choice, I’m glad I met you and made you feel that way…” His eyes were soft, and I could see the adoration and love in them, which melted my heart.

Who was I kidding? I was definitely in love with him. I leaned in and kissed him, holding on to those three little words, not ready to let them go. With how I felt about Kyle, I realized I had given those words to the wrong person. With those words, I gave my heart, and this time, they would have the power to completely shatter me. I was almost sure of it.