Tall, at nearly six feet, with short red hair and striking green eyes, Ceri had always thought that Sophie would have made a great model. He’d never seen her dressed in anything but shirt and jeans, and, although he told himself off for stereotyping, he’d often wondered about her.
“There you go.” Sophie handed him the coffee. He glanced around at the bright, comfortable room and had to admit these student digs were way better than the one room he had in a shared house.
“So,” Sophie said, sitting in the chair opposite him. “Meg says your love life is a bit of a mess.” It was a statement, not a question.
Ceri sighed. “Yes, I suppose you could say that. I should have guessed she’d tell you, but d’you mind if we wait until Meg gets here so I don’t have to say things twice?” He yawned and stretched his arms. Maybe he needed a snooze after all, and even the coffee wasn’t stopping his lids from edging downwards.
Sophie uncrossed her legs and leaned towards him. “You look done in. Why don’t you grab a couple of hours sleep on the sofa? I’ve got work to do that’ll take me a little while. By the time I’ve finished, hopefully Megan will be home and we’ll have pasta and wine and talk love lives.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Ceri said, and in a few minutes he was snoring quietly.
§ § §
When he woke up in the dark a few hours later, he wasn’t sure where he was at first. A light peeped out from under the kitchen door and he heard and smelled cooking. His stomach rumbled in response. The front door opened.
“You got here then,” Megan said as she crossed the floor towards him and pulled him up into a hug. “It’s so good to see you. Skinny as ever I feel.”
Sophie emerged from the kitchen. “You timed that well. I’ve made the sauce so I’ll put the pasta on now and open the wine.”
Megan collapsed on the sofa next to him. “Please, after the day I’ve had, I need a drink.” She handed over the carrier bag. “I got a couple more bottles just in case. We had a woman go into labour at the surgery. There was no time to get her to the hospital, so she ended up delivering there and then. I tell you, doing this job is enough to put you off most things for life. Still, they’re both doing fine.” She turned to face him. “So, little brother. You’re in need of some advice. Well, I’m not sure you’ve come to the right place, but we’ll do our best to help, won’t we, Soph?”
Megan poured a glass for each of them. He knew it was a waste of time to refuse and, truth be told, he felt like getting blotto. “I might need a few of these,” he said. Sophie disappeared back into the kitchen.
“So, how’s your love life then, sis? The last one was Martin, wasn’t it? He still on the scene then?”
“He’s about, but we’re not joined at the hip.”
“What about Sophie?” he whispered in her ear. “I always thought you and her…”
Megan punched his arm looked towards the kitchen. “You know we had that one occasion and nothing’s changed since then. I don’t know, little bro, I thought we were here to discuss you and this Mick bloke. I have to say, he doesn’t sound like the usual bastards you choose to give you a hard time!”
Sophie brought in the food, and they sat down with bowls in their laps.
“No, he isn’t my usual sort. He’s nice, but he’s shy and geeky and has… issues.”
“Issues?” Megan questioned. “What sort of issues?”
“Well, to start with, he has these routines, sort of like OCD, but not quite, and then there’s his ex-boyfriend, and his mum as well. I don’t know all the details.”
“Is this guy still around then?”
“No, he’s dead, and that’s part of the problem. Mick’s only been with this one bloke before me, who was older than him, a lot older, and more experienced. From what I can tell, this bloke was pretty controlling, and Mick’s mum was the same. Alfie, that’s his ex, died suddenly—meningitis. Mick isn’t good with people, and he’s definitely not good with making decisions. This food is great, by the way, Sophie.” He swallowed another mouthful.
“It sounds like you’re taking on a lot here, Ceri. Are you sure this isn’t just your habit of collecting lame ducks rearing its ugly head? You know what you were like when we were young, always trying to make things better. You’ve just moved from animals to people. Or is this you trying to find out what makes him tick?” Megan asked.
“At first there was a bit of that, I’ll admit. He’s certainly nothing like my usual type. But there’s something about him. He’s different, and that makes him interesting and a challenge. In some ways, he was almost as dead as his ex, and I’ve helped him to live. He’s like this hairy caterpillar, and boy is he hairy, that I want to see transform into a butterfly. God, this sounds clichéd, but he’s got this inner beauty that needs to be set free. I read a story he’d written the other day, and it was magical, like being taken to a whole new world, and that’s going on in his head, but he doesn’t think he’s any good, or what he’s written is any good. I just want to make him believe.”
Sophie and Megan looked at each other and smiled knowingly. He caught the look.
“All right, I know I’ve got it bad. I like him. We talk as well, you know. He’s a big sci-fi fan like me, and loves
Doctor Who
. I managed to persuade him to go to Cardiff with me to look around all the sites. We had such a good time. It was like he’d been let off the leash and could be himself.”
“And the sex?” Sophie asked swigging back another mouthful of wine.
Heat rushed into Ceri’s face. He grinned. “The sex is amazing.”
“So what happened to spoil this paradise, because I’m getting somewhat envious hearing you describe him?”
“I went to his flat. Alfie at least did the decent thing and left him this gorgeous place, but there’s nothing of Mick in it, even three years after Alfie died.” He explained about the flat and his conversation with Mick. “How do I get past his ghost? It was like Mick just existed there, making as little impact on his surroundings as possible.” He put the bowl down on the table. “Shit! It’s like he wants me, but it’s hard for him. He’s never been allowed to make his own decisions. He even buys those little packets of cereal and eats them in order. But he’s so kind and gentle, and yet has this inner core of strength. He makes me laugh, and making him laugh intoxicates me.”
“Bloody hell Ceri, you have got it bad. You love this guy, don’t you?” Megan said.
“I think I might. I want to show him things, life, you know. I want to set him free, but I must admit that scares me as well. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before.”
“You know you might unleash a monster and not a butterfly,” Megan said. “He might want to try more of the world.”
“I guess. Any chance of another?” he asked, holding out his glass.
“Yes, I’ll get another bottle. It’s no wonder we’re poor students,” Megan replied. They talked further, catching up with all the family news. If Ceri had been expecting answers, he didn’t get any.
“You have to decide for yourself, Ceri. At least you can see him on neutral ground at work. Perhaps he’ll have had time to think as well. Anyway, I’m knackered now. I need to get to bed, but I have swapped shifts with someone, so we can spend tomorrow and Saturday together. Tomorrow, we’re going to shop and do lunch somewhere, and then later, I’m going to take you to the late night showing of the
Rocky Horror Show
at the Hyde Park. You know the little old cinema we went to the last time you were here.”
“Are we dressing up? I don’t have anything with me. If you’d told me, I’d have brought the corset. I suppose I could be a bit Rif-Raffish.”
“You’ve still got the corset?” Sophie asked.
“Oh yeah. I’ve yet to try that look with Mick, although I could try showing him the photos.” He drifted off for a moment.
“We’re going as Brad and Janet.”
“I’m Brad,” Sophie said. “Again!”
§ § §
Over the next couple of days Ceri relaxed and had fun. They talked a lot about Mick and what he should do. Instead of going into Leeds, they spent Saturday wandering around Knaresborough, and even got boats and went on the river. Sunday morning came around too soon.
“Thanks Sis, Soph, it’s been good. I’ll try what you suggested and see what he says. You’re right, it’s time to admit how I feel, whatever happens.” He hugged them both and put on his helmet. All he had to do was persuade Mick he was loved. That would work, wouldn’t it?
CHAPTER 12
Back at work, early Thursday morning, Mick sat on the edge of his seat watching the CCTV feed from the loading bay. He needed to apologise, but he wasn’t sure how. His whole life had been turned upside down; his routine had always been safe and clear before meeting Ceri. The sound of the buzzer shook him from his thoughts, but the face staring at him was that of a stranger, not Ceri. He had a moment of panic before pressing the intercom button for the man to speak.
“Delivery,” the stranger said.
“Where’s Ceri, the usual person?” Mick asked nervously.
“On leave for a few days. I’m Martin. Can you get a move on? I’m on a schedule here.” He held his identity badge up to the camera, and Mick let him in. He spent the next fifteen minutes trying to work out what Ceri’s absence might mean. Mick glanced at a monitor. The delivery man had stopped. He was scratching his head as if puzzled about what to do next.
Mick tutted and pushed his chair back. “Bloody hell, he’s lost.” He dragged himself out of his chair and went to find the source of his problem.
“Shit!” the guy shouted as Mick came around the corner. “I wasn’t expecting to see anyone up here.”
“I saw you’d gone the wrong way, thought I’d point you in the right direction,” Mick explained.
“Thanks. Lead on, and then I can get out of your hair.”
“I’m Mick.” He didn’t hold out his hand; he still found contact difficult. Martin didn’t seem to notice and continued to talk as he followed Mick around.
“So d’you know Ceri?” Mick asked.
“No, I just do the relief. He’s back on Sunday night. I’m just filling in.”
Mick showed him where to go and went back to his desk. At least he knew Ceri was coming back, but what the hell was he going to say to him then? Mick had so many questions. Where had Ceri gone, and would he want anything to do with Mick when he returned? He needed to work out how he could put things right.Mick put his head in his hands. He’d become used to being alone, but now, with the possibility he might have messed up this good thing he’d found, he felt more isolated than ever before.
I am such a bloody idiot.
Mick’s head jerked up at a noise.
“You were miles away?” Tom said. “Time to change shift, lad. Not like you not to know. I see there’s a new guy doing the round. Ceri told me yesterday he was going to see his sister in Leeds.” Tom stopped when he saw the look on Mick’s face. He rested against the desk. “He was upset not to see you on Monday. He asked why you were off work, and then when you didn’t come back he called me, not sure what to do. He was really worried about you, Mick. I think he dropped by your place just to make sure you were alive. I guess you two had a row then.”
“Sort of. I had some thinking to do. “That was one word for it.
“Look, Mick, I can tell both of you are unhappy. You know I don’t care about you and him being gay. I told Ceri the same. We’ve known each other a while now, but recently you’ve been different. I know happiness when I see it, and since he’s been around you’ve smiled a lot more. Hell, Ruby even told me she’d heard you singing on your rounds, and I guess that’s all down to him and his rainbow hair. You and him seem to have made this great connection. There’s not enough happiness in the world. Don’t let this chance to get a little for yourself pass you by. Grab it and hold it tight. Give him time, and he’ll be back. Over the weekend, whatever it is that’s happened, ask yourself whether it matters more than him. Now, get off. It’s supermarket day, isn’t it?”
Mick nodded thoughtfully. “Thanks Tom, you’re a good friend.” He put a hand on Tom’s shoulder as he left—little things and baby steps.
§ § §
He had to go home before he did his usual shop. He didn’t need his ragged list these days, except when they changed the store around, but he didn’t like to go to the supermarket without it. He found the list on the kitchen counter and put it in his pocket. The phone rang. After their argument, he’d ignored several rings just in case it was Ceri, but now he knew Ceri was away, he picked up. As soon as he heard the sales person, he pressed the red button ending the call. No, he didn’t want to buy whatever they were offering. He pressed the green button to check for messages and heard a steady beep. Nervously, he followed the instructions and listened to the voice. At first, he was confused. He’d expected to hear Ceri, but a female voice spoke his name.
“Mick, are you there? Pick up if you can hear this. It’s Sally, Sally Heath. I know it’s been a while, but I’m back in Cheltenham, and I wondered how you were. Call me, please.” She gave a number. The next message said almost exactly the same. He listened to the third message.
“Hi, it’s Sally again. I just thought I’d give you one more try. Mick, I don’t know if you’re even getting these messages. Alfie, if you’re hearing this, I know you didn’t like me, you made that clear enough, but I’d really like to talk to Mick. Please give him my number.”
Mick took a pen out of his pocket and wrote the number on the back of his shopping list. He sank back onto the sofa wondering what to do. It had been so long since he’d talked to Sally. Alfie had never mentioned her. He rang the mobile phone number. Sally picked up after a few rings.
“Hello.”
“Sally? Sorry, I forgot how early it was.”
“Mick, is that you? You got my message. I’m so glad you called. Don’t worry, you didn’t wake me. I’m off to the supermarket while it’s quiet.” Mick’s heart leapt; it would be so good to talk to his old friend. She’d always taken care of him, and never judged him.
“They have a café there. I could meet you,” he said. “I’ve got to do my shopping first, and usually have breakfast after.”
“That would be brilliant. I’ve so much to tell you. Oh Mick, it’s so good to hear your voice.”
“You too,” he said. “I’ll see you soon.”