“You’re sure your husband really won’t mind?”
“No, he’ll be fine. He knows about you.” Mick sat open-mouthed in amazement. Had Sally really talked about him to her husband?
“Look, I guess this place is worth somewhere around a quarter of a million. You could do a lot with that sort of money, Mick. It gives you some wiggle room whatever happens with Ceri. So, what do you want to do then?”
Mick looked around the room. “I’ll need to pack some stuff, and I can come back for the other things. D’you really think I’ll get 250,000 pounds for this place?”
“Somewhere near that, I expect. It’s a lovely Regency building and you have one of the tower rooms; people will like that. It’s a shame there’s no balcony, but it’s nice, and clean, and neutral. We’d better start loading the bags into the car. I’ll wait there, and you can get some stuff. I thought you might like a bit of time on your own.”
Mick nodded. Thirty minutes later, everything was stowed in the car, and they were driving back to Sally’s. “Have you decided what you’re going to do about Ceri yet?”
“I don’t know if he’ll want to see me anymore.”
“But you want to see him?”
“Oh yes, I do. He’s amazing. He lets me be me, and I like that me, and he likes that me. That sounded a bit more complicated than I meant it to.”
“It’s okay, I get what you’re saying, and Ceri will be back on Monday, won’t he? You could bring him to ours if you want, but I’d suggest somewhere neutral. I know. What about Pittsville Park? It has lakes to walk around and the Central Cross Café. You could suggest meeting there. They used to do a great breakfast.”
“I’m not sure… No, you’re right. I’ve got to start planning for myself. I’ll ask him on Monday morning, if he’s still interested.”
Sally pulled the car into the parking space at the front of the house. Mick leaned over and kissed her cheek.
“Hmm, that tickles. Are you going to keep the beard?”
He stroked it. “For now, it’s sort of become part of me, although Ceri did shape it a bit. It used to be really bushy.”
“Come on, let’s get in and order pizza with lots of pepperoni. This little one loves it hot even though it gives me chronic indigestion.”
A little while later, Mick had unpacked his few things and was sitting on his new bed.
“I know this won’t be easy,” Sally said. “But now you’ll have some time to be yourself.”
“Trouble is, I’m not entirely sure who I am. I feel more like myself with Ceri, but I can’t move in with him, not just like that, even if he does want me back. I haven’t really thought about anything for the last three years; I’ve just existed.”
“Perhaps you need to make a wish list. That might help you to sort some things out.”
Sitting in his bed later that night, he made his list. It was interesting. He could do so many of these things with Ceri, if they had a future together. It had only been a few days, but he missed him so much.
On Monday morning, he watched as Ceri’s van pulled into the loading bay and held his breath. The next thirty minutes or so could change his life.
CHAPTER 14
Ceri stood next to the entry door, reasonably sure of what he intended to say to Mick out of the different conversations he’d rehearsed the night before. He’d passed by Mick’s building during his round and all had been dark, so hopefully that meant he was back at work. A new “For Sale” sign had been placed at the front of the house, but it could have been for any of the flats, right? He pressed the entry buzzer and waited for a response.
§ § §
Mick took a breath and spoke, “Come on in, Good to see you.” He put his mug down, afraid his shaking hand might drop it.
“I’ll just do my round and then I’ll pop into your office, if that’s all right.”
Ceri didn’t appear to be angry. Relieved, Mick pressed the intercom again. He wanted to sound equally welcoming. “I’ll be here waiting for you.”
He watched Ceri move around the building, picking up the large water bottles and putting them in place. Mick wasn’t sure if he’d changed his hair colour; it was sort of hard to tell, but it looked like a different shade of grey. He tried to sing the song to remember what was next. Should it be blue?
When his office door opened, Mick just waited for Ceri to speak.
“Hi, you’re here then.” A look of relief crossed his friend’s face, but Mick noted he didn’t move any closer.
“I’m glad. I was worried when you weren’t in last week.” Ceri leaned against the door jamb, obviously not wanting to crowd him.
Mick smiled. “What? Did you think I was going to swallow a bottle of pills or something?” He stopped smiling when he saw the serious expression on Ceri’s face. He wanted to get up and hug him tightly, but he wasn’t sure either of them were ready to return to that level of intimacy yet.
“No. I don’t know. Shit! I’m making a mess of this, aren’t I? I had everything planned,” Ceri said.
“A bit, yes,” Mick conceded. “We need to talk, but not here. Tom will be by in a few minutes. Love the new hair colour by the way, and you’ve had it trimmed as well.”
“Yeah, Megan took off a couple of inches and coloured it. I went for more of a mid-blue after the darker purple, even though it’s supposed to be indigo.” He hesitated. “Umm, when you say that we need to talk, is that good or bad? Because often it’s bad, and I…”
Mick put his hands up as Ceri babbled. “Good, I hope. You know Pittsville Park, the café, Central Cross?”
“Yeah, I know it. The skate park isn’t far from there. I still haven’t taken you there to get you to have a go.”
“No, you haven’t, but I’m not sure I wouldn’t break my neck. You could show me some of your moves though, if you wanted.” Ceri stared at him for a moment. Mick continued. “Meet me there in a couple of hours, around nine, and we’ll have breakfast. A few things have happened since last week, and I’ve made a few decisions.” He noted Ceri’s puzzled expression. “Yeah, I know, me and decisions, but it’s a strange new world. Just meet me at the café, and I’ll explain things.”
“All right, I love a bit of mysterious intrigue as much as the next person. I’ll get going and see you in a couple of hours. I haven’t been to that café for ages. I might bring some bread to feed the ducks. There should be ducklings around at this time of year. We could go for a walk around the lake. It looks like it’s going to be sunny… if that’s all right with you, of course. Sorry, I’m babbling again, aren’t I? I’ll get going and see you later.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” Mick replied adding a wink. He couldn’t help smiling when Ceri nearly tripped over his own boots.
§ § §
A little while later, Ceri watched as Mick walked towards where he was sitting outside the café. He’d parked the bike some distance away, but he could still just about see it from where he sat. On the ride to the park, he’d tried to think of all the things he wanted to say, but in the end he’d decided to wait and see what Mick had to tell him. He was conscious of not railroading him. All his life, Mick had done what other people wanted, and Ceri could so easily have done the same as everyone else. However, he knew he wanted more from Mick, but it couldn’t be more than the man was prepared to give. So, no more plans, he’d just listen. Mick took the seat opposite him.
“Tea in the pot,” Ceri said.
“Great, yes I’d like some.” Ceri poured him a cup.
“I haven’t ordered any food yet. What d’you fancy?” he asked, handing Mick the menu. “I’m going to have a breakfast roll with bacon and egg.”
“Sounds good,” Mick agreed, after swallowing a few mouthfuls of tea. “I think I’ll have the same. Stay there, I’ll go.”
Ceri drank his tea as he observed Mick go inside to order, grateful it was a reasonably warm day, although the café did provide throws to put over your knees in cold weather. The tea was good—strong, as he liked it. He glanced around. The café was a timber building painted in green. A few other people also sat outside enjoying the early morning sunshine. To his left the gardens, stretched down to the upper lake. Perhaps they could walk down there later, or take the bike and park nearer, unless Mick told him they were over, but he’d said good, hadn’t he? Shit. Now he was even babbling to himself.
“I didn’t know if you wanted sauce, so I got some sachets of each. There’s a lot we don’t know about each other.” Mick put the roll in front of Ceri and sat down.
“Yes, I guess there is, but we know what matters, don’t we? Sorry, you said you’d made some decisions.” He took a mouthful of roll. It tasted good; he licked at the egg yolk that leaked down his chin until Mick reached over and dabbed it off with his napkin.
“I’m selling the flat.”
Ceri shivered despite the warmth. “Oh, are you leaving?” His voice shook. “Where are you going?” He waited while Mick chewed the mouthful of roll he’d just bitten off. Time appeared to stand still, and even the breeze seemed to be waiting before it blew through the trees once more.
“I’m not sure what I’m doing yet, but I can’t stay there. I realized that after you left. You were right, there’s nothing of me in that place. I guess I’d tried to hang onto Alfie, but Sally’s helped me to look at things properly.”
“Sally? Wasn’t she your friend from school?”
“Yes, that’s right. She’s back in Cheltenham with her husband, and she called me last weekend. We met up. She’s exactly the same as she ever was, and we talked for ages. I’m staying with her now, and she helped me get rid of Alfie’s stuff.”
Ceri shook his head, not sure he had heard correctly. “Wow! A lot has happened. I didn’t think…”
Mick placed a hand on his. “I could do it? Me neither, but Sally has helped me put things into perspective. I’ve also got an appointment to talk to a counsellor about my problems; he had a cancellation. I’ve been reading about it. I’m not sure what I have is really OCD, but I have behaviour rituals like a lot of people. There are also issues linked to grief, and how you deal with the death of someone close to you. The thing is, even though I’ve been on my own for three years, I’ve never truly been by myself.”
“But you say you’re staying with Sally?” Ceri asked.
“That’s true, but I intend to rent somewhere eventually. I’m staying there until the flat is sold and I decide where I want to be. There’s nothing to keep me in Cheltenham. I could go anywhere.”
“Oh, right, I see,” Ceri murmured. He stared at the pattern on the table, unable to look Mick in the eye, afraid of what he might see, until Mick stretched out his hand and lifted Ceri’s chin with his fingers.
Mick scrutinised his face. “There’s no reason for you to stay here either, is there?”
Hope surged through his body and he sat up straight. “No, there isn’t. Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting? We haven’t known each other for very long, and you said we didn’t know much about each other and that you needed to be alone, so I thought you meant …”
Mick placed a finger on Ceri’s lips. “I’ve lived on my own with Alfie’s ghost for three years. I’ve shunned company because I’ve never been good at it. I preferred living in my head with Carlos and the Space Pirates, but now I need something different. I’m hoping you need it too.”
Ceri wondered what was coming next when Mick took a deep breath. His bright blue eyes seemed to be trying to gaze into the depths of Ceri’s soul. He longed to reach out his tongue and taste him; instead, he reached up and took Mick’s hand in his own and waited for Mick to speak.
“I love you, Ceri. You gave me hope and showed me things about myself.” He looked around and lowered his voice. “And I don’t just mean the sex, although that was fantastic as well. I’m really hoping we get to do some more of that!”
“Really?” Ceri said, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice. “Because I was kinda hoping for more sex too. In fact, I wish we could go off together right now.” He stopped. He hadn’t said it, and he needed to. He took Mick’s hand, not caring who saw. “I love you, too, by the way.” He was rewarded with a huge grin and gleaming eyes.
“Good. But about the other thing. It’s a bit tricky. Sally’s at home. She’s a few weeks away from giving birth to her first baby.”
“And I’ve only got one room, and I’m definitely not taking you there,” Ceri said. “We could go to a hotel.”
“I want to, Ceri, you know I do, but I need to get myself together and decide what to do. One thing I have decided is to send one of my stories off to a publisher to see what they say. I’m not going to hold my breath, but at least I’m trying new things. We’ll have our time together, and believe me, I’m looking forward to it more than anything.”
CHAPTER 15
“Really? It’s sold already?” It had only taken just over a week before two couples had put in offers for the flat, setting off a bidding war between them.
“Both couples loved it, so they both offered the full price. You could probably have pushed for even more.” Sally passed him a coffee and sat opposite him at the kitchen table.
“I know, but each of them put up an extra ten thousand and the young couple bid first, so I wanted to play fair.” He stared at the table for a few moments and then looked up at Sally. “Wow! Over a quarter of a million pounds! I can’t believe I’m saying that out loud, and they want to move in quickly.”
“You could put your stuff in storage then look around for somewhere that suits you. It depends on what you want to do now. I know you and Ceri have talked, so have you reached any decisions?”
“We’ve talked a bit about the future. We spent a while walking around the lake and feeding the ducks. You were right, and it was a lovely morning. It felt right being with him; to be honest, it’s always felt right, from the beginning. Neither of us has to stay in Cheltenham, and I don’t think I want to, but I’m not sure where else to go. This town is all I’ve ever known. Other than going to Cardiff with Ceri, and a visit to the seaside when I was small, I’ve never been anywhere else in Britain. I do need to know what Ceri wants to do.” He saw her pull a face. “Yeah, I know it’s my decision, but it’s not that simple, is it? Ceri’s in my life now, and I want him to stay there. I know he really wants to go to university now he’s worked out he’s never going to be a professional skateboarder. I think visiting his sister confirmed that for him, and he’s talked a bit about it. But he’s got to apply and get accepted. His ‘A’ levels are good enough to get in, and I think he’d like to go to Leeds. He misses his sister. We were talking about it last night.”