Rapturous (14 page)

I learned early on that life isn’t fair. I’m not about to start fighting that battle now. I love her, but I can’t have her. Somehow I’ll find a way to live with that.

I almost call in sick this morning because I’m aching so badly from last night that I can barely move. Not that I regret
it. I don’t. It was the most amazing sexual experience of my life, and any aches or pains I have today are a small price to pay. I don’t call in sick, because I’ve got a lot to do at the office, and I need to start making plans for how I’m going to change Hayden’s mind about us.

He needs me. I need him. I refuse to believe we can’t find a way to be together. Resolved to my goals where he’s concerned,
I force myself out of bed and hobble into the bathroom to run the hottest bath I can stand. I fill it with eucalyptus oil, hoping it will take some of the sting out of my abused flesh. I lower myself carefully into the tub, sitting gingerly and sighing with pleasure as the hot water surrounds me.
 

I think it through from every angle. He’s keeping things from me. That much I’m sure of. I have
access to every kind of resource, including private investigators if it comes to that, which it won’t. I can’t take the chance of him—or Flynn—finding out if I were to have Hayden investigated. That would be a disaster for me professionally. I love my job—and the people I work for—too much to go there.

But damn, I want to. I want to know everything about him so I’ll have the tools I need to see
this through. I have to remove the obstacles he sees standing between us. How can I do that if I don’t know what the obstacles are?

Part of it is most definitely rooted in his chaotic childhood. He was shaped, for better or worse, by the drama he grew up with. His mother has caused him endless heartache with her horrific addictions to drugs, booze and men. The scars he carries with him probably
run deeper than anyone realizes.
 

“That’s okay. I can work with scars. I don’t need him to be perfect. I just need him to be perfect for me.”
 

Before this day is out, I want to see my dad. He usually gives me good advice, and he will in this situation, too, as long as he doesn't know I’m talking about Hayden. For reasons he refuses to share with me, he can’t stand Hayden. I try not to think
about how difficult that’ll be if I’m able to work things out with Hayden. I’m close to my dad, and it kills me that he hates the man I love. But even my father’s certain disapproval is not enough to deter me from my goal.
 

When the water begins to cool, I rise up from the tub feeling marginally better than I did when I got in—until I step foot on the bathroom floor and pain radiates from my
backside, making me wince and grit my teeth.
Ugh
. This is going to be a long-ass day. I giggle at my choice of words.
 

Standing in my walk-in closet, I start to reach for my most comfortable work clothes, the ones I wear at that time of the month, but then stop myself.

Pain aside, this is no time to fall down on the job. There’s never been a more important time to look like two million bucks
at the office. I grab a sexy black wrap dress and a pair of four-inch heels that do incredible things for my legs. Just in case this day turns out better than expected, I wear lacy black underwear that leaves very little to the imagination.
 

Each step in the heels hurts, but I soldier on, determined to make use of every tool in my arsenal, including my bruised and battered body, to get what I
want. I decide to grab coffee at the office and head for the garage. As I make my way from the elevator to my car, I realize I’m actually limping. I’ll need a story to explain that and settle on a Rollerblading accident. Everyone knows how much I love my blades, so it won’t surprise anyone to hear I pulled a muscle while blading on the boardwalk. I can sell that.
 

Leah is moving into her new
apartment today, so she won’t be in the office, which is just as well. I have a ton of my own stuff to get done.
 

By the time I reach the Quantum parking lot, I’m in so much pain from sitting on my sore bum that I’m blinking back tears. I pull into my assigned space and am gathering my things when a big, black shadow falls over my car from Hayden’s Range Rover pulling in next to me.

I’m surprised
he’s getting here so late. He’s usually one of the first to arrive. I look over to find him staring intently at me and stare back at him, wishing I could read his mind so I’ll know exactly what I’m up against. Since that’s not an option, I get out of the car and make a huge—and painful—effort to move normally, to act like nothing hurts when everything does.

Grimacing all the way, I go inside
ahead of him.

“Addie, wait up.”
 

I turn and smile up at him. “Did you need something?”

“You… Are you… You’re all right?”

“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I, um… Ah, no reason, I guess.”

“How are you?”

He seems surprised by the question, and in the heartbeat of a second it takes for him to answer me, I see the anguish that grips him. I’m strangely satisfied to know he’s agonizing over
this situation as much as I am. “I’m fine.” Dragging his gaze off my face, he lays his hand on the palm scanner and presses the up arrow to summon the elevator.

We wait in awkward and painful—in my case, anyway—silence until the elevator arrives with a cheerful ding.
 

Hayden holds the door open for me, and I proceed ahead of him.
 

And the Academy Award for Best Actress in a morning-after first-time
anal sex scene goes to… Addison York. The crowd goes
wild
! I pinch my lips to keep from laughing out loud at the ludicrous direction my thoughts have taken.
 

“We need to talk,” he says in a low growl that makes my nipples tingle. It’s the same way he talked to me when we were in bed.
 

“About what?” I ask in my best nonchalant tone. I’m making this up as I go along, but it seems to rattle him
that I’m not a hot mess after last night. Since my calm coolness is getting to him, I keep it up.
 

“You know what about.”

“I don’t need to talk, but if you have something on your mind, you know how to find me.” It’s physically and emotionally excruciating to have to pretend I’m unaffected by what happened last night. I want to throw my arms around him and love the wounded look right out of his
gorgeous blue eyes, but if I do that, if I tip my hand too soon, I’ll lose the edge I currently hold over him.

He’s undone by my indifference. That much is apparent, so I lean back against the corner of the elevator to relieve the pressure on my aching body while we ride the elevator to the fifth floor. I watch the elevator’s progress above the doors while he watches me. I can feel his heated
gaze on me, and remaining indifferent takes everything I’ve got and then some.

“Tonight I’m coming over, and we’re going to talk,” he mutters before the doors open on our floor. “You hear me?”

“Uh-huh.” My heart dances with glee and anticipation. For all his sophistication and experience with women, the poor bastard has no idea that I’ve already got him firmly ensnared in my web. Despite what
he said last night, he’s coming back for more. He thinks we’ll talk. I’ve got other plans.

Note to self—take some painkillers later this afternoon so you can “perform” later.
 

We part company at the reception desk, where Mackenzie gives me an inquisitive look because I arrived with Hayden. If only she knew the real story.

“Hey,” she calls after me. “Are you limping?”

“Rollerblading disaster,”
I say over my shoulder, continuing on to my office.

“Who had a Rollerblading disaster?” Flynn asks. Wearing faded denim and an old T-shirt, he’s sitting in my visitor chair, feet on my desk, scrolling through his phone, looking nothing at all like the world-famous Academy Award-winning actor and producer he is. Today, and most days, for that matter, he’s a regular guy who happens to have a blockbuster
career. I love that he’s so unaffected by his fame and success. I love the way he cares about his friends and family, and watching him fall madly in love with Natalie has been a beautiful thing.

“I did. One leg zigged while the other zagged, and well, ouch.”

“Yikes. That sounds painful.”

“You have no idea.”

“Do you need a doctor?”

“Nah. Just some pulled muscles that’ll be fine in a day or
two.” I drop my bag on the desk and remain standing so he won’t see the full extent of my so-called injury.
“What’re you doing in my office anyway?”

“Other than the fact that I own the place?” he asks with a cocky grin.

“Other than that.”

“Nat and I were talking last night about doing something to celebrate
Camo
’s big win. We’d like to take everyone to Mexico for a getaway in the next couple
of weeks. I was hoping you could help me with that.”

“Is
help
a metaphor for plan and coordinate the entire thing?”

“Of course it is.”

“Thought so,” I say with a chuckle. It’s a good thing I love him so much, or I’d want to have him killed half the time. “I can do that. No problem. And it’s a great idea. You guys will have a blast.”

“
Us
guys? You’re coming, too, and so are Leah, Emmett, Ellie,
Sebastian and everyone else who matters. I want the whole crew.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Coordinating a vacation for a dozen of the busiest people I know is going to take some doing, but it’s a challenge I welcome on a day when I have too many other things vying for my attention. “And I’m delighted to be included. Thank you.”

“Of course you’re included. You’re the best, Addie.”

“I know. I
tell you that every day.”

Laughing, he gets up to leave. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine. Nothing to worry about.”

“Okay, then. Keep me posted on the plans for Mexico.”
 

“You know I will.”

“You’re coming to the meetings today, right?”

“Yep, I’ll be there.” He has a series of conference calls lined up to go over preproduction details for the new film he’s due to begin shooting in Prague
next month. This one isn’t a Quantum production, so it requires a lot more external coordination ahead of shooting.

“Remind me to never again do a non-Quantum film.”

“Funny, I was just thinking how much more ‘work’ it is when you take an outside project.”

“It sucks,” he says bluntly.

“Is Natalie going to Prague with you?”

“Yeah, she is. She can handle foundation business from there, and I
won’t lose my mind trying to work while wishing I was with her.”

“You’re pathetic.”

“I’m well aware of that, and the happiest pathetic bastard you’ll ever meet.”

“Get your happy self out of my office so I can plan your vacation.”

“I’m going, but before I do… I need to ask you something that’s none of my business.”

“Okay…”

“You and Hayden. Is that happening?”

I’m unprepared for him to ask
me that so bluntly, and I have no idea what to say. Is it happening? Hell, yes, it’s happening, but will it continue? That much I don’t know, and I’m sure he can tell just by looking at me that I’m torn up about it. “Ah, well, we’re in negotiations, I guess you could say.”

“Stick to your guns and get what you want out of it.”

“That’s the goal.”

“Love you, Addie,” he says on the way out the
door.

“Yeah, yeah,” I mutter. “Love you, too.” He’s the best boss and friend anyone could ever have. We work hard, and we play harder. He includes me in all the fun stuff he and his friends do together, and I love being part of his inner circle. It’s an honor I don’t take lightly. After his disastrous marriage to Valerie blew up in his face, he became a lot more selective about the people he
allows close to him, and we’re all incredibly protective of him.

I sit, carefully and painfully, and boot up my computer. I immediately dive into the planning of the Mexican getaway by sending emails to everyone Flynn asked me to invite. Their replies begin rolling in immediately.