Rapturous (33 page)

Leaving the bathroom, I take a look outside on my way to bed and notice the stars sparkling brightly in the night sky. Will everything seem bigger and brighter now that I finally have what I’ve wanted for so damned long? Wouldn’t that be something?

I get into bed and slide over to where she’s curled up in a ball, kissing her cheek and
the top of her head. My hand settles just below her breast, and the feel of her silky skin is all it takes to make me hard again.

“No,” she says gruffly. “Just
no
.”

I laugh and push my dick against her ass. “Remember the rule—if you don’t want me, don’t get naked with me.”

“You didn’t give me a choice about putting on clothes.”

“Oh well, I guess you’re stuck with me and my hard-on, then.”

She moans. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Do I sound like I’m kidding?” I had absolutely no intention of making love to her again when I got into bed, but this is too much fun not to play it out. “You won’t have to do a thing.” Before she can object, I’ve lifted her onto my lap with her back reclined against my chest.
 

“You’re insane.”

“Maybe so, but you’ve made me that way.” Taking myself
in hand, I press into her, and she moans. “Does it hurt?”

“Yes, it hurts!”

I freeze and begin to withdraw.

“If you stop, I’ll kill you.”

Well, alrighty then. I press on until she takes all of me, which is a struggle as always, but I love that struggle. I love every single thing about being with her this way. Her internal muscles go crazy, and it’s like being massaged from the inside. I cup
her breasts and run my thumbs over her nipples, drawing yet another sharp gasp from her.

“Do they hurt, too?”

“Mmm, a little.”

I slide my hand down the front of her to tease her clit. “How about here?”

“Everywhere.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“I don’t think you’re one bit sorry.”

Laughing at her testy tone, I fall deeper into the kind of love I’ve never experienced firsthand before. I now
understand why people do all sorts of foolish things to get and keep this powerful feeling of unity and oneness and undeniable rightness.
 

She sits up a little straighter and leans forward, taking me deeper inside her.
 

I grasp her hips and hold on tight while she rides me, her plump ass cheeks tight against my groin giving me all sorts of ideas. After running my fingers through the dampness
between her legs, I press them against her ass, and she bucks wildly on top of me, damn near finishing me off long before I’m ready to let go.
 

“My baby likes when I play with her ass.”

“So what if I do?”

Smiling, I press my finger into her while using my other hand to caress her clit. The combination has her coming in under a minute. I could keep this up for hours still, but I know she’s achy
and tired, so I join her, letting go of everything to focus on the almost unbearable pleasure.

God almighty, I’ve never felt anything like it, and after tonight, I’m officially ruined for all other women.

I wake to the sound of Hayden’s deep voice. He’s on the phone outside the bedroom, barking out orders to some poor
bastard at the office. “I want to see what you’ve got by five o’clock today. No more delays.” After a pause, he adds, “I’m working from home today, so let me know when it’s ready for viewing.”

A glance at the clock has me sitting up straight in bed. It’s
noon
already? What the hell? When was the last time I slept until
noon
? College? I went to work for Flynn shortly after I graduated, and he’s
kept me hopping ever since. I start to get out of bed but am forced to stop when every muscle in my body screams in protest. Erotic images from the night with Hayden resurface to remind me of how I got this way.

I thought I was in good shape until I went a few rounds with him.
 

Wearing only boxer briefs, he comes into the room carrying his phone and wearing a frown. “Did I wake you? Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I can’t believe I slept until noon.”

“We were up late.”

I try to find a more comfortable position and wince from the burn between my legs.

“You’re hurting.”

“A little.”

“A lot. Don’t lie to me, Addison.”

“I don’t want you to think…”

His fingers find my chin, compelling me to look up at him. “What don’t you want me to think?”

“That I can’t take what you’re dishing out.”

The
way he looks at me… I can truly die happy if he’d just look at me that way every day for the rest of my life. “As I recall, you took what I had to offer extremely well. So well, in fact, I can’t wait to do it all again.”

“Really?”

“Addison,” he says with the tender smile that makes me melt. “Yes. A million times yes. In fact, I owe you a huge apology.”

I’m genuinely baffled by what he thinks
he needs to apologize for. “How come?”

He cups my face in that proprietary way that I’ve come to crave and runs his thumbs over my cheeks. “I never should’ve doubted that you’re exactly what I want and need. I should’ve trusted my heart, because it kept leading me to you, even as I told myself I needed to stay away from you.”

This deeply wounded man who is incapable of saying the three little
words that would seal our deal manages to convey everything I need to know with one perfect sentence. I blink furiously, determined not to break down in front of him. When his thumbs sweep away tears from under my eyes, I discover that I’ve failed to hide my emotional reaction.
 

I reach for him to draw him back into bed with me. “This, right here, is all I’ve ever wanted from you. Everything
else is a bonus. I just want you, Hayden. I don’t care about all the reasons why I shouldn’t.”

“You’re way more than I deserve. You know that, don’t you?”

“No.” With every muscle I own screaming in protest, I turn over so I can see his face. “I’m exactly what you deserve.”

“No one has ever cared about me the way you do.”

“And no one else ever will.”

He stares into my eyes. “I keep thinking
I’m going to wake up and it’ll be the day before the Oscars and none of this will have happened.”

“It happened. It’s real. I’m real.
We’re
real.” I caress his chest and belly, noting that his cock is hard—again. Before I can tend to that, I have questions, lots of them. “Will you tell me how you discovered the lifestyle and the Kinbaku and everything?”

He gazes over my shoulder at the view of
the ocean through the uncovered window, seeming to collect his thoughts. “It started when I was twenty-one and spent the summer on location with my father in Amsterdam. I became friends with the lead actor on the film, someone whose name you’d recognize, and he introduced me to the scene. I was instantly fascinated and captivated. Here, finally, was something I could control. I was obsessed after
that.”

“So you’ve had a lot of practice?”

“I’ve never claimed to be a saint, Addie. You knew that about me before any of this happened.”

“I know.” My mind is racing with more questions I’m not sure I have a right to ask.

“Say it. I can feel you spinning.”

“You can’t feel me spinning.”

“I know you, and I know you have questions. There’s nothing you can’t ask me.”

“Will it be enough for you?
Just me?”

His big hand cups my cheek, compelling me to look at him. “If I have you, I have everything I want and need. You never need to worry about me wanting someone else. I’ve had plenty of others, and nothing compares to you.”

“Okay, that’s a good answer.”

Smiling, he kisses me. “What else do you want to know?”

“The Kinbaku. How did you learn about that?”

“Early in my career, I was the
assistant director on a film shot in Japan. While I was there, I sought out the scene and met a Kinbaku master who taught me almost everything I know about erotic tying. I’ve studied intensively with some of the top practitioners in the world and spent years perfecting my craft.” Before I can ask, he continues. “It’s the ultimate exchange of power when a sub surrenders to be bound by her Dom.”

I slide my hand lower to wrap it around his incredibly hard cock. “It turns you on to talk about it.”

Gasping as I stroke him, he says, “It’s the ultimate turn-on.” He shudders and stops my hand from moving. “What did you think of it? Tell me the truth.”

“I was scared at first, but I loved it. I would’ve been terrified with anyone but you.”

“You’ll never do anything like that with anyone but
me,” he says in a low, menacing tone that makes me smile.

“I don’t want to.”

“I love to hear you say you loved it. That means so much to me.”

“When can we do it again?”

“When you’ve had time to rest and recover from the first time.” He runs his fingers through my hair as he looks at me intently. “What do you see happening now?”

Because I know he’s asking about much more than our sex life,
I bite my lip to keep from pouring out my heart to him, still afraid that maybe he doesn’t want the same things I do.
 

“Give me the truth, Addison. I want to know.”

I summon all the courage I can find to share my ultimate dream with him. “I see a big house on the coast, a bunch of kids with insanely blue eyes like their father. I see parties on the lawn, family holidays, the biggest Christmas
trees we can find. I see you on location and us with you in the summer when our kids are on vacation. I see one grand adventure after another. I see the family we’ll make together and the family we already have with our Quantum friends.”

“A bunch of kids, huh?”

Smiling, I say, “Did you hear anything after that?”

His hand slides down my arm to link his fingers with mine. “I heard every word
you said.”

“And?”

“I think it’s time I had a talk with your dad.”

“Oh.” All I can think of is how intensely my dad dislikes Hayden, for reasons he’s never shared with me. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Trust me, when a man wants to marry another man’s only daughter, he asks permission first.”

Hearing him say the word “marry” in a sentence that refers to me is almost too much for my fragile
heart to handle.
 

“That is what you want, right?”

“Yes, Hayden,” I say on a deep sigh. “It’s what I want.”

He brings our joined hands to his lips, running them back and forth over my knuckles. Just that slight contact is enough to make my nipples and clit tingle. “So if I were to ask you the big question, I’d get the answer I want?”

“Is it what
you
want? Because I wouldn’t want you to feel
pressured into something you’re not ready for.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t? Is this the same woman who basically tricked me into making her my submissive last night?”

“That’s different. That’s sex. This is your whole life we’re talking about here, and you should spend it exactly the way you want to.”

“Would you like know how I want to spend it?”

I’m afraid to breathe, let alone speak, so I nod.

“I
want that big house at the coast, only it has to have a pool, too, so I can teach all those kids of ours how to swim. I see you lording over the entire thing, large and in charge, running roughshod over me and our family and friends. And then I see us in bed where I’ll run roughshod over
you
every chance I get.”

“Your vision looks an awful lot like mine.”

“You noticed that, huh?”

“Please don’t
ask my dad,” I say, filled with dread as I picture the reception he’ll receive from Dad. “It’s nice of you to think of the courtesy and everything, but—”

“He hates my guts.”

I push myself up onto one elbow. “
Why
does he hate your guts?”

“That’s a long story, and it’s one that would be better to stay between him and me. You don’t need to worry about anything. I’ll work it out with him.”