Raw: Devil's Fighters MC (18 page)

Still shivering, Alyssa grabbed a clean cloth and pressed it against her still bleeding nose. She stumbled to the kitchen’s table and sat down heavily on one of the chairs. Her hands were trembling—hell, her whole body was trembling. She knew she couldn’t leave. She couldn’t do what Bennie “asked.” She couldn’t hop on a plane and leave Xavier behind. She had never realized just what madmen he had to deal with until now. Things had never looked so crystal clear before.

Bennie Lenday was a madman, a sociopath, and a murderer—and it was only a matter of time before that savage nature of his turned on Xavier more fiercely than it already had when he had recruited him to fight in his rings.

Alyssa’s heart was still beating a mile a minute. She was terrified, but the more the minutes ticked by the more that fear morphed until it ceased being about Bennie Lenday. She was still afraid—terrified, in fact—but now she was afraid for Xavier. She was terrified and horrified for him. She no longer cared what he thought. She no longer cared what he would do once he found out she had been to his father earlier that day and inadvertently revealed his big secret to the old man. Let him hate her if he had to. All Alyssa cared about at this moment was getting him out of Pinebrook and this pseudo-life he was living—no matter the cost.

The only trouble was, she still didn’t know how to go about it. Bennie’s visit had proven to her that he was much more dangerous than she had first imagined—which really was saying a lot—and that she didn’t quite have the tools to challenge him openly. Hell, she didn’t even have the tools to challenge him indirectly, seeing as how he had seen right through it at record speed.

She didn’t have a clue how to go against Benedict “Bennie” Lenday and his Devil’s Fighters. All she knew was that she had to do it, and she knew now that it was vital that Xavier get on board. She just couldn’t do it alone.

A knock at the front door made her jump out of her reverie and nearly out of her skin. Her heart, which was just beginning to slow its erratic beating down to a normal cadence, picked up the pace again. Alyssa swallowed hard. The thought that Bennie Lenday may have forgotten something chilled her to the bone.

The sight that greeted her when she finally gathered up the courage to open the door wasn’t of Bennie Lenday. It wasn’t even of Xavier. It wasn’t of Lynn. It was of Rick. The man’s hazel eyes widened when he took in her appearance.

“Oh my God!” he cried, appalled. “What happened to you?”

“I fell,” Alyssa said automatically.

She turned on her heels and went inside. She didn’t bother to tell him to come in; she didn’t have the energy. She heard the sound of the front door closing again and of his footsteps hurrying after her. She didn’t go to the kitchen; Lenday’s spit was still on the floor and she didn’t have the heart to clean it up right now—the humiliation was still burning too fiercely within her. Instead, she veered for the living room and once there let herself flop heavily down on the soft cushions of the couch.

Rick sat uncertainly next to her. “Can I get you some water or anything?”

“I’m fine,” she said.

He lifted a dark blond eyebrow. “Sure you are,” he said, his tone dripping with irony. “Seriously, darlin’, what happened?”

Alyssa shrugged. She watched him past the cloth she still held pressed up to her nose and instantly knew she couldn’t lie to this man; he would see right through her. Just like Xavier, Rick had seen too much to be fooled that easily…possibly to be fooled at all.

“Promise you won’t tell Xavier?”

“Scout’s honor,” Rick said immediately.

Alyssa suddenly felt like throwing up. “That’s what
he
said, too,” she said before she could stop herself. “When he said he just wanted to talk.”

“Who’s ‘he’, sweetheart?” Rick asked gently.

Alyssa hesitated. She took a deep breath. “Benedict Lenday.”

Rick’s eyes hardened at record speed. “Bennie was here?”

“He left just before you got here. I’m surprised you didn’t cross paths.”

“I’m coming from Xavier’s,” Rick said absently. “I guess I came from the opposite direction.”

“How is he?” Alyssa asked.

Rick shrugged. “Confused as hell. You’ve got quite a hold on him, girl.”

Despite the circumstances, Alyssa felt herself blush.

“So Bennie did that to you?” Rick asked, nodding to her bleeding nose and the bruise that was rapidly blossoming across her right cheekbone.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Alyssa blew out a frustrated puff of breath. “He came to tell me I should go back to Canada and act like Xavier doesn’t exist.”

“And I’m guessing you weren’t too happy with that?”

“Yeah,” Alyssa said quietly. “I told him I wasn’t going to do it.”

Rick cringed. “Bad move.”

Alyssa’s eyes flared. “Well, I’m
not
going to do it,” she growled fiercely.

Rick smirked and held up his hands in surrender. “Whoa. Easy there, tiger,” he said, chuckling. “I know you’re not. But Bennie didn’t need to know it.”

“Even if I had lied, he would’ve found out.”

“Yes,” Rick conceded, “but you would have bought yourself some time. And trust me, when you’re dealing with Bennie Lenday, time can be of the essence.”

Alyssa stared at him. “I get Xavier told you about why I’m still in town?”

“He did.” Rick smirked. “He doesn’t like it either.”

Alyssa huffed. “I don’t care if he likes it or not. I’m getting him out of here. Period.”

Rick looked at her, impressed. “You’ve got balls,” he said. “That’s why I want to help you.”

Alyssa stared at him, intrigued. “How?”

“I don’t know yet,” Rick admitted. “But I came by to tell you that you have an ally. Possibly even an inside man,” he said with a wink.

Alyssa gave him a small smile. “Thank you,” she said sincerely. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

Rick nodded and reached out to take her hand, squeezing in support. A comfortable silence descended upon them.

“You’re not going to tell Xavier what happened with Bennie, are you?” she asked after a few moments, breaking that silence.

“I think I should,” Rick nodded. “I mean, think about it,” he said quickly when Alyssa opened her mouth to protest. “It’s perfect.”

Alyssa frowned, confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, he’s mad at you right now, isn’t he? He’s trying to push you away, right?”

“Yeah,” Alyssa said gloomily, scowling as she remembered her fight with Xavier from the previous night. “So?”

“So, I’m pretty sure that if he knew you were hurt, he’d come rushing over in a second. And that’s exactly what we want, isn’t it? You can’t save him if he’s not around.”

Alyssa thought about it. It sounded reasonable enough, and yet she was unconvinced. “I don’t like it,” she admitted after a moment. “Who’s to say he won’t get pissed off and confront Bennie? That could get him killed.”

Rick had begun shaking his head even before she had finished her sentence. He gave her a small, bitter smile. “Believe me, Xavier isn’t that stupid. We know how to deal with Bennie by now.”

Alyssa cringed. She didn’t want to imagine how they had learned. “All right,” she finally said, relenting. “You can tell him…I guess.”

Rick’s smile broadened. “You’ll see, he’ll be back here in no time.”

“And then what?” Alyssa asked, feeling weary and disheartened all over again. “He doesn’t want to be saved. He acts as though he doesn’t think it can be done, or as if he thinks he doesn’t deserve it.”

“I guess it’s a little of both,” Rick admitted. “But that’s also where you come in to play. You need to change his mind. You need to make him see that he can be saved and, most importantly, that he deserves it.”

Alyssa arched an eyebrow. “Most importantly?” she repeated. She wasn’t sure she shared Rick’s priorities. To her, the most important thing was to get Xavier out of there. Whether or not he thought he deserved to get out was something they could work on later.

“Self-esteem is everything,” Rick said, and he looked and sounded like he believed it. “Until he thinks he deserves it, he’s not going to let you take him anywhere, even if you find a way.”

Alyssa thought about it. It made sense…sort of. It made sense given the circumstances and given the damage that eight years of living like he had lived must have done to Xavier’s psyche, as well as to his body.

She nodded her understanding.

“So why are you here?” she asked then.

“I came by to ask you not to give up on him,” Rick said. “But I see I didn’t need to worry about that.”

“No,” Alyssa said fiercely, “you didn’t.”

Rick stayed for a short while after that. He insisted to return part of the favor she had done him when she had patched him by helping her clean up. After that, he was gone, claiming “club business”…a sentence that sent shivers down the whole length of her spine.

Now that she was alone in the house, she locked both the front and back door and went upstairs. She stopped by the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. The bruises were already evident. She would be black and blue by the next day, and she had no idea how she was going to explain that to Lynn. There was no way she could avoid her until she was completely healed, but there was also no way she could tell her the whole story. Even if Lynn had offered to help her, she was still very reluctant to involve her in her rescue plans for Xavier.

She wondered what would happen now. She wondered if Rick was right, if Xavier was really going to rush over to make sure she was all right—which she wasn’t, by the way. It was barely noon, and already she felt like she was ready to go to bed and call it a day.

She wondered if her being hurt would be enough for Xavier to forgive her for “outing” him to his father. She wondered if he would care that Bennie had threatened her so strongly this time. And then she shook her head, because she was being stupid. Of course Xavier would care. He thought he could cover up everything and anything, but Alyssa could still see right through him when it came to certain things.

She couldn’t pinpoint the moment when she had first figured it out, but she was sure he had never stopped loving her, just as she had never stopped loving him. Xavier was still in love with her, and the only reason why he was pushing her away was to protect her. Alyssa knew this, and she wasn’t going to let him.

Still, even with the fact that she had just found a new ally in Rick, she was beginning to feel doubtful about her chances. Rick seemed to think that it could be done, that she could really get Xavier out of Pinebrook. But Alyssa was starting to have her doubts. She couldn’t even go behind Bennie’s back for two days. How was she supposed to sneak one of his own away without him noticing?

She walked out of the bathroom and to her old bedroom, and she let herself fall upon the mattress of her old bed. This room used to bring her comfort. This house used to bring her comfort. Not anymore. It was silent now. No advice or shelter would come from these walls, and Alyssa had never felt so utterly, completely alone in her life.

When she woke up, it was starting to get dark outside. It took her a while to drag herself out of bed. She felt sore, and her face was throbbing slightly. She wanted nothing more than to roll on her side and go back to sleep, but instead she dragged herself over to the bathroom for a much-needed shower.

Once again, the hot spray didn’t help putting any order into her head, but it helped with the rest. By the time she stepped out of the shower stall, her muscles were no longer cramped up and the throbbing had simmered down to a dull ache. As she slipped into her robe, she realized that—all things considered—she could have had it a lot worse.

When the knocking began, Alyssa groaned out loud. She was sick and tired of that sound today. Resigned, she heaved a deep sigh and padded downstairs and to the front door.

“Who is it?” she called out. She was
not
going to be caught by surprise again.
Ever
again, she decided.

“It’s Xavier.”

Alyssa’s heart jumped to her throat. And then, irrationally, the anger came. It was almost dark outside. Why had he waited so long to come to her? Why had he turned his back on her in the first place?

She wrung open the door and glared openly at him. She tried to ignore the shocked expression on his face as he took in her bruises.

“What are you doing here?” she all but hissed.

Even though she had started to feel the anger bubbling up to the surface, she was still surprised by the vehemence in her own voice. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. She thought that when she would see Xavier again, she would greet him with a smile and a kind word, to let him know that everything was all right and she still wanted to help him. But that was exactly the point, wasn’t it? She still wanted to help him, but everything was
not
all right. In fact, nothing was all right. Nothing had been all right in Alyssa’s world for what felt like ages, and she was sick and tired of it even though it had only been a few weeks since her life was turned upside down.

Xavier seemed to be as taken aback by her outburst as he was by being faced with the bruises on her face. He looked at her with wide green eyes that painfully reminded her of the boy she had once known.

“Rick told me what happened,” he said when he could find his voice again. “I came to see if you’re all right.”

“Well, I’m
not
all right, Xavier,” Alyssa spat before she could stop herself. Really, what was wrong with her? “
Nothing
about all this is all right.”

“Tell me what I can do,” he said, with an eagerness that for some inexplicable reason got on her nerves.

“For starters,” she growled, “you could cooperate.”

Xavier blinked, and then he sighed heavily. “Aly—”

“Goddamn it, Xavier!” she roared before she had a chance to rein herself in. “I don’t care what you say or do, just like I don’t give a shit about Lenday’s threats. I’m here, and when I leave I’m taking you with me.”

He stared at her with a mixture of shock and admiration. Suddenly he smiled. “All right, heroine,” he said. “Let’s talk about this. Can I come in?”

Alyssa blinked. She had not expected him to give in this easily. She nodded, dumbfounded, and stepped aside to let him pass.

Xavier strode past her and made a beeline for the living room, where he sat down on the couch and motioned for her to join him. Suddenly feeling insecure and uncertain, Alyssa complied.

Now that they were close, Xavier gently took her face between his hands and inspected the damage.

“That son of a bitch,” he hissed furiously. “I swear I’ll kill him.”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” Alyssa said. “I’m trying to get you out of here, preferably not in a coffin.”

Xavier huffed and let go of her. He watched her intently. “You’re really not going to let up, are you?”

“Would you?” Alyssa retorted instantly.

“No,” Xavier said after a moment, “I suppose not.”

“I just want to give you a chance, Xavier,” she said. “Is that so horrible?”

“It’s not,” he admitted. “It’s just…I’m terrified of letting myself believe that could happen.”

“Why?”

“Because what if it
doesn’t
happen? I’m not sure I could take it, Aly. I’ve spent years trying to block out emotions, and then you show up and come back into my life, and I can’t help but
feel
. I feel it all, Aly. I’ve been feeling it all since I saw you again on the day of your parents’ funeral. I’m not strong enough to take a soul-crushing disappointment such as the one that will come to me if I let myself believe I can really have a different life and that plan falls through.”

“It won’t fall through,” Alyssa reassured him. Her head was spinning with his long confession, but she knew that right now the important thing was to soothe his fears. He was close to crossing to the other side and join her in the land of the believers, but he wasn’t quite there yet. Alyssa wasn’t going to rest until she could finally convince him. “We’ll make sure of it—together. You know you can’t ask me to walk away from you knowing what I know.”

“And what my father also knows apparently.”

Alyssa blinked. She had not expected him to bring it up just yet. She cringed. “Yes,” she said. “I’m sorry. I was desperate, and I thought he might be of some help.”

“Help with what? My rescue?” Xavier said bitterly.

“No,” Alyssa said. “I was hoping he might offer some insights on the Devil’s Fighters and their ways. I know nothing of or about them, and he was my best bet.”

“Really?
He
was your best bet?”

Alyssa scowled. “Well, I couldn’t exactly ask
you
, could I? You’d just bailed on me.”

This time it was Xavier’s turn to cringe. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I really am.”

Alyssa nodded. To her surprise, he also didn’t seem particularly mad about her going to his father. “How did you find out anyway?” she asked curiously. “That I went to your dad, I mean.”

“Believe it or not, the crazy bastard called me,” Xavier said.

Alyssa blinked. Now
that
she had not seen coming. “He called you?” she repeated, appalled.

“Yes. He was sobbing, too. He says he’s sorry and heartbroken.” Xavier’s features had turned to stone, as they always did whenever he talked about his father.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear this,” Alyssa said carefully, “but I think he really is heartbroken. You should have seen his face earlier today when I told him about what you did for him.”

“Maybe he does feel bad,” Xavier conceded. “It’s not like I care about his feelings anyway. He also begged me to stop fighting. He said I should get out and let the Devil’s Fighters kill him.”

Alyssa stared at him. “And you’re…”

“
Not
gonna do that,” Xavier said. “What’s wrong with you?”

Alyssa had the good grace to blush. “Sorry,” she said.

“So what’s the plan?” Xavier asked after a few moments’ worth of silence.

Alyssa shrugged painfully. “I don’t know,” she admitted.

“I want to get Rick out, too,” Xavier said suddenly.

Alyssa looked at him in surprise. He was rapidly going from not believing that he could be safe to a man of action, and she couldn’t be happier about it.

“We’ll get him out,” she promised. “You were right about him; he
is
a good man.”

Xavier smiled fondly. “He is.”

For the first time in eight years, the silence that fell over them then wasn’t uncomfortable. Alyssa scooted a little closer to him, and Xavier wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into his weight, and
that
was like coming home. 

A few moments later, his free hand was cupping her cheek and turning her face gently towards him.

“I love you, Alyssa,” he said. His green eyes were as intense as she had ever seen him.

Her heart was galloping within her chest, and for once that day it wasn’t out of fear. She had not heard those words coming from his mouth in eight years, and they filled her with joy and something indefinable.

“I love you too, Xavier,” she said. It felt wonderful to say it.

He pulled her closer still and kissed her—a slow, tender, gentle kiss that still made her weak at the knees. They kissed for almost an hour, like they used to do so long ago. They were starving for each other, and they both gave in to their instincts and needs. They kissed tenderly, and they kissed passionately, and eventually they both couldn’t take it anymore.

Xavier carried her upstairs, lifting her abruptly in his arms. He put her down and wrapped his arms around her again as soon as they were past the threshold, holding her close. He was holding her as tight as he dared to. It was as if he couldn’t bring himself to let her go.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered in her ear.

Alyssa clung back to him just as fiercely. “I’ve missed you, too,” she said, and she had never spoken any truer words.

Eventually they broke the embrace, but they didn’t interrupt the contact. His hands were instantly all over her, and Alyssa responded by letting her own fingers explore all over his body, touching every exposed inch of skin as if she was trying to commit it to memory. She fumbled with the buttons and zipper of his jeans, and soon, she had freed his glorious erection. Her fingertips traced the outlines of his hard abs, and once again she found herself in awe of his body.

Soon, they had both stripped each other naked. Xavier’s eyes ran appraisingly all along her figure, and the hot fire in his eyes made her blush.

“You are so gorgeous, Aly,” he breathed. “I’ve missed your body, too.”

Alyssa smiled. “You’ve only had it once, Xavier,” she said. “Wholly, at least.”

He grinned his sexy grin at her. “Not nearly enough. We must remedy that right now.”

Alyssa knew they had bigger fish to fry than their sexual desire. She knew the smart thing to do would probably to stop and sit down and try to figure out a way out of the mess they were in. But she couldn’t bring herself to push him away. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him to wait. She couldn’t resist him—in fact, she wasn’t even all that sure that she wanted to.

Besides, even if she had managed to find it in herself to refuse him, she couldn’t form a coherent sentence even if she tried. At least, not while he was doing
that
to her. Xavier’s fingertips were teasing her nipples, pinching gently and tickling and tantalizing until they were turgid and hard. He pulled her even closer still and put his mouth into action once again. Soon, he was kissing her all over, leaving hot trails wherever he went.

In response, Alyssa’s hand traveled down to cup his erection. His cock was hard and thick and bulging, and the tactile sensation of it was almost enough to drive her mad. She longed to have him inside of her again. She longed to feel herself clench around him. She longed for those mind-blowing orgasms that he had proven to be able to deliver.

Xavier must have sensed her eagerness, because he moved with renewed passion, gently pushing her backwards until her back hit the wall. He bent his head to suck a love bite on the sensitive side of her throat, and while he was doing that one of his hands travelled downwards on her body. Soon, his fingers were teasing her clitoris, and soon after that they were slipping effortlessly inside of her.