Raw: The Ultimate Mc Collection (106 page)

Roughly, he threw me on the bed, and stood before me, quickly removing his clothes, tossing them on the floor in a pile of denim and leather.  As I watched him, I remembered I had seen this view before, and I knew that no matter how many times I watched this masterpiece of a man undress, I would never, ever grow tired of it.

When I saw the familiar look in his eye - the lust, the hunger, the savage desire - it felt like I was home.  And I knew what he wanted.  And I wanted it too.  I felt like I was looking in a mirror, because everything I saw there was churning around inside of me.

I needed him just as much as he needed me.

He growled and mounted me quickly, slamming into me hard and fast, his gentleness abandoned in the midst of his hunger. 

I met his intensity with each thrust, pushing my hips up to meet him each time, opening myself to him like I never had before.  His lips and teeth nipped at my neck and breasts as he pounded into me, his cock hammering away, drawing our passion and desire out of us until our bodies spilled over the edge of lust, the chemistry between us turning first to a needful pain and then to deliciously exquisite pleasure.  His swollen cock exploded inside me, pushing me over the edge as I clenched around him, my legs wrapped around his hips, gripping him, needing him deeper as our bodies shuddered in sweet release.

Panting, sweaty, and blissful, we laid on our backs, our arms and legs tangled together, our lips colliding once more in a lazy, sensuous tasting.  My heart was full of love and lust and confusion.  But I didn’t care.  

All I wanted was Hawk, and more Hawk.

“Again…” I murmured as I lowered my lips to his cock, engulfing him with my hot mouth, my tongue swirling around him, tasting the delicious mixture of our combined pleasure.  His moans echoed in the room, and I slid his cock in and out of my mouth, the smooth skin of his engorged sex like velvet against my tongue as he pulsed and pushed into my mouth.  

Crying out, he exploded once more, his warmth sliding down my throat as I moaned and pressed my breasts against his thigh, his growls of pleasure a song I wanted to memorize for the rest of my life.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

The sound of my front door closing woke me up.  As I tried to move, the soreness in every muscle of my body reminded me of the blissful night I had with Hawk.

I had so many questions for him, so many things were left unanswered, and yet all we could do was devour each other.  We had been so hungry for each other and right before we finally drifted off to sleep in the early hours of the morning, he promised to tell me everything.

“I have a lot of questions…” I murmured as I laid with my head on his chest, my fingers running through the coarse hair on his skin.  

“I know, baby…let’s talk tomorrow.  I don’t want to get into it now.  All you need to know right now is that I missed you like I’ve never missed anyone and I needed to see you.  I love you, Vanessa.”  

He smiled down at me, his hand caressing my back as the first rays of sunrise snuck through my bedroom windows.

“I love you, too, Hawk.  I’ve missed you, too.”  In that moment, it seemed as if anything that needed to be said could wait.  We drifted off to a peaceful blissful sleep, our breath falling into synch as we held each other tightly.

Now, I opened my eyes and saw that he was gone.  His motorcycle roared outside as he started it up and then faded quickly as he drove away.  I sat up and saw the note right away.  He had left it on the nightstand next to my bed.

“Vanessa,

You are pure light. 

I’m so happy to see you’ve started a new, happy life for yourself.  

You deserve it.

  I wish I could see myself as a part of it, but we are two entirely different creatures, and you know it.  

Our worlds don’t mesh.  But our bodies sure do…

You unchained parts of me that I thought could never be free.  

It was never just business. 

I will always love you, Princess. 

Never forget that.

Love,

Hawk”

I sat in my bed for hours, holding his letter and crying, trying to deny the truth of his words.

As much as I wanted things to be different, I just didn’t know how to make it that way.  How did two people that were so different, from such different worlds, make a life together?  He was right, it didn’t make sense, but I couldn’t help but somehow think that we made sense.  

Maybe we were from different sides of the tracks, but did that really matter?

I looked around my home, so different from his, and it was impossible to deny.  He was right.  

My body, on the other hand, was in complete protest.  When Hawk and I were together, we melted into each other.  Making love became something entirely beyond physical.  Our souls intertwined.  And when something like that happened, could it really be undone?  

I suspected not, and I knew then that I would never find another man like Hawk.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Three Months Later

Pearl and her baby, Onyx, the only one of the litter I had kept, sat on the seat next to me as I pulled my car up next to the Devil’s Horsemen’s clubhouse.

They were panting from the heat, and my heart was beating a mile a minute as I contemplated what I needed to do.  After Hawk had left, I had swore I would never contact him or try to see him again.  What’s done was done, and after all, he was right, there was no way we could fit into each other’s lives.

I spent the next few months working and sculpting, continuing to loose myself in my work just as I had before he had shown up.  I adopted out Pearl’s babies to homes that I screened and visited myself to make sure they were good homes, and decided to keep the runt of the litter.  Pearl loved him, and they were adorable together.

Still plagued with questions, I set off on a mission to find out as much information as I could on my own.  

After breaking down and calling Dakota finally, I found that Genevieve had gone back to France suddenly, leaving the girls to fend for themselves.  Luckily, they had all the connections they needed, and they were all doing just fine, except for missing me, they said.  Instead of telling them about the kidnapping, I told them the lifestyle had gotten to me and I had taken Pearl and gone on a long vacation to Hawaii.

I apologized for worrying them, and although it was a lame excuse, I decided it was the right thing to do.  

Genevieve had been good to all of us, including me, and although I was still angry with her, I understood what she had done.  She had come from nothing, I had learned, after doing more research on her and the club.  Her father was a migrant worker in France, and she was very poor.  When she met Hawk’s father as a young girl, she jumped on the chance to come to America.  What she wasn’t expecting was to be living the life of an old lady to an MC president, and she learned quickly that making money was the way to success.  When Hawk’s father died, she did what she had to do to survive, only adding a whole lot of luxury to the equation.

When she met me, she saw a quick path to retirement.  The only problem was that she underestimated what an asshole my father was.

Kate was happy to hear my voice when I called, and relieved to learn I had moved out of Los Angeles.  She liked having our father to herself, and it was obvious he hadn’t mentioned the kidnapping to her.  She was clueless to everything, and that was exactly how she liked it.  She wanted to raise her kids in peace, and I couldn’t blame her for that.  I was perfectly willing to give it to her.

I didn’t bother calling my father at all.  The fact that he didn’t try to come to my rescue in any way spoke volumes.  He had been telling me for years that he didn’t care about me, and this whole thing had only turned up the volume.  I could hear it all very clearly now.

So, I was on my own.  It was just me, Pearl, and Onyx.

For now.

I put the dog’s leashes on them and led them out of the car.  I kept them close to me, looking around for Two Dog Dave’s dogs to attack at any moment.  The clubhouse looked just as I had remembered from my brief stay and I shuddered at the memory of Pearl being held down by those scary dogs.

Bracing myself and taking a deep breath, I walked through the open gate of the chain link fence.  Harley’s and trucks filled the parking lot, and I spotted Hawk’s motorcycle against the brick wall.

Crazy Mike walked out, his eyes trailing along my body as he approached.

“Hi,” I said.

“Howdy, lady.  You’re Hawk’s friend.”

“Um, yeah.  Is he around?”

“Sure, I’ll get him,”  he leaned down and petted Onyx before he walked back inside. “Cute puppy.”

I looked down at Pearl and she was shaking a little as she looked around.  

“I’m so sorry, baby,” I whispered to her.  It was the scene of the crime, and I felt a little bad for bringing her here.  I felt even worse knowing I was about to face Hawk.  

When he walked out, my breath caught in my throat.

“Vanessa!” He look so surprised to see me.  

“Hey.”  His eyes took us in, and he leaned down to say hello to Pearl as he looked at Onyx.  “Who’s this?”

“That’s Onyx.  Pearl had puppies,”  I said.

“What!?” he replied.  “Oh, shit. Two Dog Dave’s dog?”

“Well, yes, she hasn’t been with anyone else.”  I said, laughing.

“Oh. Right.”  He straightened, shaking his head in disbelief.  “Wow.”

“Yeah.  I was going to tell you last time I um…saw you…but um…I didn’t get a chance.”

“Oh, right.  Vanessa, about that…”

“No. It’s okay. Listen to me, Hawk. I wasn’t going to ever contact you again.  That last night we had was beautiful, and at first I was so hurt that you left like that, but the more I thought about your note, the more I agreed with it.”

“You did?”

“Yes!  You and I…we’re complete opposites, we come from totally different worlds.  I get that.  We’re like, we’re like…”

“Oranges and apples,” he said, smiling at me.

“Yes!  And fire and ice.” I nodded.

“Like diamonds and dust,” he said.

“Like war and peace,” I said.

“Like heaven and earth,” he said.

“And like love and lust.” - “And like leather and lace.”  We said at the same time.

“Leather and lust.  I like that one better.”  He replied, smiling, his beautiful eyes crinkling in the sunshine, bringing me to my proverbial knees once again.

“Yes, Hawk, exactly like that.”  I sighed. “But that’s not why I’m here, to debate our opposite positions on the spectrum.”

“No? Then why are you here, Vanessa?”

“Because, I, well…Pearl…”  I stammered, the words getting stuck in my throat.

“Pearl? What’s wrong with Pearl?”

“Nothing, it’s just…it’s just that, well…Pearl isn’t the only one that got knocked up.”

It took a moment for the words to sink in, but once it dawned on him what I was saying, his jaw dropped and his eyes trailed down to my belly.

“No…” he said, looking at me sideways.

“Yes, Hawk. I’m pregnant. Three months.”

“Holy shit. Oh, my god. Holy fuck!”  He grabbed me around the waist, picking me up and twirling me around, the dog’s leashes tangling around my legs as they barked and jumped around us.

“Yeah…I thought you should know.”  I said, laughing as he put me back down on the ground and I untangled myself.

His face grew serious and he reached up, grabbing my face and bringing it close to his as he peered into my eyes.

“Vanessa, I don’t care if we don’t agree on anything ever.  I love you.  I don’t care if we fit in each other’s lives - we’ll make room.  We’ll figure it out as we go along.  These last few months without you have been awful, and I can’t live without you.  All my life, I’ve searched for someone like you, someone who could make me forget my past, to think, even for a moment, that I’m not a monster.  When I’m in  your arms, Princess, nothing else in the world matters.”

“I need you, Vanessa. I promise I’ll take care of you and Pearl and Onyx and…the baby…just give me a chance to show you.  I’ll leave the club, if that’s what it takes.  I can be a better man, I promise.”