razorsedge (23 page)

"Of course. Don't forget, you've to bring me something back for the feast tonight."
He laughed. "Don't worry, I'll make sure I get the biggest rhakla out there. I've got my reputation to live up to, after all."

* * *

Lijou stood at his bedroom window looking down into the main courtyard. Below, the younglings were still sweeping the night's fresh snowfall aside. Already the bones of the central fire had been relaid in preparation for the festivities later.
He felt Kha'Qwa's presence draw nearer, feeling the gentle touch of her mind, then her hand as she joined him.
"Good morning," she said, leaning against him, her tail twining round his leg. "What holds your attention so closely this morning?"
He hesitated. How to put it into words? "Have you ever felt as if you're standing at the doorway to the future? I feel as if I'm there now, looking through it and wondering what will happen. And although I'm part of it, although I helped open the door, I'm afraid to go forward, Kha'Qwa."
"Afraid of what?"
"The changes."
"I see none, Lijou. I see only the traditions of over a thousand years as our people get ready for Nylam's Day," she said, looking out of the window.
"Look more closely and you'll see." He pointed to a couple of black-robed figures hurrying across to the courtyard. "Already our tutors are wearing their new colors, proclaiming them Priests, not lay-brothers. The old year ends tonight, Kha'Qwa," he said, laying his arm across her shoulders and continuing to look down into the courtyard. "A new year, and new lives for all of us. Our right as a guild to choose those who possess lesser talents is being laid down in the new charter Rhyaz is drafting. In future, when we visit the guilds to recruit, we can openly take those we need. So much has happened this past year, and there is so much more still to come."
"Are you that afraid of change?"
"Some changes," he sighed. "But not others." His hand tightened briefly on her shoulder. "Not our new life together. I don't think Konis expected us to life-bond so soon!"
As he continued to watch the courtyard, he saw a small figure enter through the main gates. "I wonder what brings T'Chebbi here today. Who could she be coming to see?"
"It could only be Kaid."
"You think so?"
"I know so," she said with conviction. "I've never seen her so animated as she was when they were here to rescue him."
Lijou thought back over his last few meetings with T'Chebbi. "You could be right. I hope so. It worried me when he said he intended to stay here for Midwinter."
"If only for a short while, let the world take care of itself," she said, lowering her voice to the level of a soft purr and turning him away from the window. "You should be enjoying this morning with me. With all your talk of new years and new lives, tell me, how does it feel to be a newly mated male, and a father?"
"Believe me, it feels good, Kha'Qwa, and I don't mean to seem..." He stopped in mid-sentence, his attention suddenly completely focused on her. "What did you say?"
She laughed and began to move away from him. "I thought that would get your attention."
Reaching out, he grasped her by the arm, pulling her close again. "What did you say?" he asked her again.
Pregnant? It wasn't possible— was it? How could they possibly raise a cub at Stronghold!
She stretched up to touch his neck. "You've never bothered to shield your thoughts from me, Lijou, and I've enough Talent to read you. You said the Clan Lord wanted us to set an example, so when I picked up what was in your mind last night, I decided it was time. I was right, wasn't I? You do want us to share our cubs, don't you?" She tilted her head on one side, widening her eyes innocently as she looked into his.
"You never told me."
A father? He was going to be a father at his age? And she could hear his thoughts?
"At your age?" she scoffed. "You're of an age with the Clan Lord! As to being able to hear you, many of us had our gifts boosted by the new virus, Lijou, even you. I just never had the need to mention it till now."
"You're pregnant? Since last night?" He was finding it difficult to take in her news.
She nodded. "Did I make the wrong decision?"
"No. No, of course not," he said. "Are you positive? How can you be so sure after only one night?" He suddenly realized he didn't want her to be mistaken. She was right, this was their life. For too long he'd lived for his Guild, then the Brotherhood. Now, before it was too late, he wanted a life that was his— his and Kha'Qwa's.
"I'm sure," she answered with a gentle laugh as his hand touched her neck in an intimate gesture of affection. "We females know these things."
"Perhaps we should make sure," he said, running his fingers through her short flame-colored curls. He still hadn't gotten over his relief at her acceptance of him as a life-mate. Tall, and slim as any youngling, it had surprised many of Stronghold when the lively fiery colored Kha'Qwa had become his Companion several months earlier.
"It only takes once, honestly."
"I wouldn't want you to be disappointed if you found you were mistaken." He began to nuzzle her cheek. "It would be so upsetting for you."
"You're so thoughtful," she purred.
"Better to make absolutely sure."
"Mmm. What about your duties this morning?"
"Vriuzu's on his way to see to them," he mumbled, catching the edge of her ear gently with his teeth.
"That's all right, then."

* * *

When the library door opened, Kaid knew it was T'Chebbi. He looked up, eye ridges meeting in a frown. "Is something wrong at the estate?" he asked.
"Nothing," she replied, approaching the desk where he was working. "Needed to come. Have things in storage to collect. Meant I could see you, too. Not good to be without friends at this time of year."
"I'm used to being alone," he said, turning back to his work.
"Maybe we share our solitude for a short while."
He looked up sharply, catching her slight smile as she took the seat opposite him. He hadn't expected her to pay him another personal visit, especially after she'd avoided saying good-bye.
"Look tired, Tallinu. Still get bad nights? What does Father Lijou say?"
"I haven't mentioned it to him."
"Should. You need help."
He felt anger flare and repressed it, determined not to lose his temper with her. "Did you come here just to scold me, T'Chebbi? Or is there something else you want? I am capable of organizing my own life, you know." He switched off his comp pad. She was obviously determined to talk to him.
Her mouth opened in a deep grin. "I haven't eaten yet. Won't serve me as first meal's over, but they'll serve you. Always would."
"You're hungry? That's all?" Maybe it was no more than she said, a visit to collect the last of her belongings from the Guild.
She flicked her ears in agreement.
He gathered up the comp and book he'd been using and stuffed them into his robe pocket as he got to his feet. "I can't promise you that they'll cook for us," he began.
"Will," she interrupted him. "Said you hadn't eaten either, and if you came, they'd feed me, too."
Now she'd mentioned it, he realized he was hungry. "I prefer to go in at the end of the meal times," he said, opening the door. "Students never seem to keep quiet, even when they're eating."
T'Chebbi touched his arm, holding him back for a moment. "Tallinu, can't say good-byes— couldn't be there when you left. I do want to spend more time with you— if you want to."
Kaid grunted noncommittally as he stepped into the corridor— and the dark.
It was night. He stood at the head of a small group of warriors, waiting for the clouds to cover the moon once more. A sound to his right drew his attention, and he turned to see T'Chebbi. Her upper arm was bound with a bloodstained makeshift bandage.
"You shouldn't be here," he said, the sight of her throwing him into confusion. "You should be on Shola."
"Kaid!" The voice was as insistent as the hands that were shaking him by the shoulders. Gradually the dark receded, and the corridor came back into focus, as did T'Chebbi. Leaning against the wall for support, he reached an unsteady hand out to touch her arm, an arm unblemished by any injury.
"Kaid, we
are
on Shola," she was saying. "Whatever you saw, it's not happening."
"I know. It was a vision. Jalna, I think, except you were there."
"Kusac's asked me to go," she said quietly. "What did you see?"
"Something and nothing," he said, pushing himself upright again as he tried to dispel the images. "It's unreliable, T'Chebbi. Just flashes, nothing even worth seeing."
"You saw me with you on Jalna."
"That's all I saw. The visions are too short to be of any use." He was annoyed and frustrated. This was happening on average now once or twice a day. All his research over the last few days had turned up no probable cause for it.
"Perhaps have food sent up," said T'Chebbi. "You're overtired. Maybe that causes them."
He hesitated, then reluctantly nodded. Lack of sleep certainly didn't help.

* * *

Lijou shook Kha'Qwa gently. "We have to get up," he said. "Vriuzu sent that Kaid had another of those episodes."
"What was it?" she asked.
"Too short for him to pick it up. Why won't Kaid come and tell me what's happening? We'd have a chance of helping him sooner that way! I hate having to have him monitored like this. I feel like I'm spying on him."
"He won't blame you, Lijou."
"I still don't like it," he grumbled, throwing back the covers.

* * *

A full stomach made the world a friendlier place, Kaid decided. Their talk had been of changes on the estate since he'd left.
"Jissoh's a good choice for Mara. She's outgoing and doesn't easily take offense. With any luck, they might strike up a friendship. Nijou and Khy are fine for Zhyaf. Garras is handling things well. I knew he'd be a capable second for Kusac. This cub of Mara's, though." He shook his head thoughtfully. "Where did such a new element come from? How is it possible that we have an unknown compatible Human on the estate?"
"The new virus."
"Not possible. A lot of folk took colds, even the Human archaeologists had their own health problems, but they weren't necessarily connected. Unless Vanna's proved otherwise?"
"Her people still working on it," said T'Chebbi, leaning forward to replace her mug on the table between them. "She'll find out soon."
Memory tugged at him as he caught a trace of her scent. "Tell me," he said, "that perfume you wore...?"
Her ears twitched with embarrassment. "Was an aphrodisiac," she admitted. "Special one, though. Enhances any interest your partner has, doesn't create it."
"A fine distinction," he said dryly.
"Yes," she insisted. "One I learned of when was Consortia. Didn't make you want me, only made you lose Üxwinhibitions."
"Did you bring it with you?" He was curious to know.
She hesitated. "Maybe. Wouldn't use it again unless you ask. Wanted you once to see me as a female, one you might want. That was all. If you were interested, perfume helps, if not, nothing. You wouldn't notice it."
The meal had made him feel relaxed and slightly drowsy. Obviously the need to pick up her belongings had been at least partly an excuse. He held his hand out in an invitation to her. "You won't need it this time," he said as she accepted.

* * *

This pairing was gentler and slower as they took their time to see each other in a new way. There wasn't the mental rapport he had with Carrie, but he could sense what pleased T'Chebbi, and she certainly knew how to give him pleasure.
Instinctively, as they began to climax, he reached mentally for her only to feel his mind explode into many pieces as a memory that had been deliberately hidden from him returned. With devastating clarity, he began to relive what had happened to him during the night he'd spent in the shrine before Kashini's Validation.
Along the corridor from Kaid's rooms, Lijou was alerted and this time, he experienced it, too.
Tallinu!
He needs to be focused on us.
He's not listening! Tallinu! Tallinu!
He calls himself Kaid now.
Kaid, dammit! Kaid!
Confused, his chanting faltered as he tried to sense who was calling him.
He's not responding. We can't keep this up much longer.
Get the doctor to do it. He's supposed to be the god, after all. Maybe he'll listen to him.
God? What talk was this of gods?
I can't!
The voice woke more memories.
You'd better, because we can't bring him back otherwise!
He heard the implicit threat. The litanies and chants all forgotten, he began to mentally back away. This didn't feel right. Whatever it was, he didn't want to know. Then his mind was grasped and held. Powerless, he now heard a voice he recognized only too well.
Kaid, we're not finished yet. There's work still to do.
No! I've done enough for you! No more, Vartra, no more!
His mind shouted the refusal.
You will return once more. You're at the heart of matters both here and in the future. You have to return!
NO!
Got him!
As if from a great height, he saw his body slump forward onto the floor. A white rime of frost began to form over his robe, then, as panic began to take hold, the image vanished as he was swept into a maelstrom of sound and heat and pain.
Fire licked along his limbs, burning and consuming him. The smell of seared fur and flesh filled his nostrils, and as he opened his mouth to scream, flames gushed out. Mercifully, he blacked out.

* * *

"You nearly lost him!" The voice was female, angry.
"Until the good doctor believed us and lent his strength." Male. Then everything faded into Üxwblackness.

* * *

"He should be coming round any time now. I only gave him a light sedative."
A sharp prick against his arm almost made him flinch, but he suppressed it in time. He feigned unconsciousness, using his passive senses to see what he could learn first. No telepathy, they'd sense it immediately. The room they were in was small— no echoes— and smelled of antiseptic. Medical area then. So far, two voices, but there should be more.
"Are you sure it's necessary to wake him?" A third voice. "He's not going to appreciate being brought back, nor what you've done to him."
There was a familiarity about the voices, but he was still confused. He realized his limbs were bound to the surface on which he lay. That didn't please him.
A snort of laughter. "You don't know the meaning of anger! And he's awake, listening to all you've been saying." That voice he did recognize. Goran, Vartra's security chief.
Clenching his fists, he focused his mind on the bands surrounding them. Moments later, he'd snapped the left and was sitting up freeing his right hand as he scanned the room. Goran, Tiernay, Vartra, and one more he didn't know. Hiding at the back, he caught sight of Jaisa.
Without taking his eyes off them, he reached down to free his ankles. "You'd better have a damned good reason for this."
"We need you here, Tallinu," said Vartra.
Kaid swiveled his head to look at him, his blood running cold at the thought of remaining in the past. "Hear me well, Vartra,
I will not stay here!
Nothing you can do will keep me here. I don't care what it costs, I'm going home!"
"We don't intend to keep you here, Kaid. We'll return you to the future," said Jaisa, pushing Tiernay aside and stepping forward. "I wouldn't have helped them if I'd thought they didn't intend to do that."
He looked back to Vartra, unconsciously rubbing his upper arm. "How
do
you intend to get me back?" he demanded, swinging his legs off the treatment bed and jumping down to the floor. As he landed, he winced, putting his hand to his groin, feeling the tender muscles. A wave of nausea passed through him and he staggered back against the bed. "What the hell have you done to me?"
"We only needed you here for a short time, Tallinu," said Dr. Vartra apologetically. "I'm sorry, but we had no option."
Pushing himself upright again, Kaid lunged toward the doctor, but Goran was there first. "Hold on, lad," he said, knocking him aside and spinning him round. His arms snaked under Kaid's, grasping him across the shoulders and behind his neck.
Before he'd completed the move, Kaid was free. Constricting his chest muscles and pushing his arms up, he dropped down within Goran's grasp, landing him an elbow blow in the stomach. As he pivoted around and away, he followed it through with a blow from his knee under the jaw. Goran dropped like a stone.
"It wasn't Vartra, it was me." The voice was lazily arrogant. "He only did the research, I— applied it— to you."
Kaid looked across the room to where the speaker lounged against the countertop. A long face, topped by low-set ears and eyes of piercing blue stared back at him. Curling short hair of a rich dark brown contrasted with a lighter pelt: one of the Western Islanders. Like Dr. Vartra, he wore a white front-buttoning tunic. He was young, barely into his thirties.
"I don't suggest you try anything like that with me," the doctor continued. "All it would do is give you the rather dubious satisfaction of hitting an easy target."
"What did you do to me?" Kaid repeated, his voice dropping to a low growl. At his sides, his hands clenched briefly, then opened as his claws began to extend.
"Nothing drastic. Everything's still there and in working order, I assure you." Again the same confident arrogance. "My name's Rhioku by the way, Dr. Rhioku of Stronghold. Anything else, Dr. Vartra will tell you."
"There was no need for violence, Tallinu," said Vartra, breaking the tension as he stepped forward to help Goran to his feet.
Rhioku straightened up. "I suggest that those of us not involved any further should leave. The good Dr. Vartra wishes to talk privately to you."
"I can manage, Goran," Vartra reassured the security chief. "If we need you, I'll call."
Tail moving gently to show his lack of concern, Rhioku ambled past Kaid and waited for Tiernay to open the door.
"I'm staying," coughed Goran, pushing Vartra aside as he leaned on the end of the bed for support.
Kaid could feel Goran's anger and frustration. "Don't feel so bad about it," he said. "Fighting's my speciality."
"Mine, too," snapped Goran. "I was part of the military when we still had an army!"
Kaid shrugged. "That's the military for you. The Brotherhood of Vartra are the elite of my time."
"Your time! You belong here, in the past with us, dammit!"
"Enough, Goran!" snapped Vartra. "Leave. There's no reason now for you to stay."
"I'm staying," Goran snarled, straightening up and staring defiantly at the geneticist.
"You will leave us, Goran." Vartra's tone hit the command pitch and even Kaid felt himself straightening up in an instinctive response to it.
Vartra waited till the security chief had gone before indicating the chairs standing a few feet away. "Sit down, Tallinu. It's time for me to explain."
"Damned right it is." Angrily Kaid walked past him and sat down. "We only left three days ago! Why the hell did you need to call me back?"
"Three days for you, Tallinu, but seven months for us," Vartra said quietly.
"Seven months!" That shook him. He looked more closely at Vartra, then Jaisa. They had changed. Subliminally he'd noticed she had from the first but other events had been, and still were, more pressing. He turned back to Vartra.
"You owe me an explanation, not only for bringing me back, but for abusing my body while I was unconscious." The heat of the moment had passed, leaving him with an anger as cold as Khuushoi.
"When you left, I began working again on my gene enhancement program. I was trying to stabilize the changes I'd made, and take into account what I'd learned of the Humans from the female, Carrie."
Kaid made a dismissive gesture. "I know this. We worked that much out when we realized we'd left you with a sample of Carrie's blood."
Vartra glanced at Jaisa and back to him. "That's not all you left with us," he said. "As well as a sample of the mutated ni'uzu virus from Carrie, we had a sample from you. A sample of DNA that carried my enhancements but still included your ability to fight."
"Don't be ridiculous. You didn't take a blood sample from me!" As the silence lengthened, he looked over to Jaisa. "Not from me," he said, realizing the significance of the changes in her and the full enormity of her betrayal. His ears laid sideways in anger. "You used me, Jaisa!"
She reached out to touch his arm. "Only a little," she said. "I had to. The rest was real, Kaid."
"You've had my cub." He turned on Vartra. "You told her to do this! Is there nothing, no depths you won't sink to?"
"Sit down!" Once more Vartra's voice hit the command pitch, and automatically Kaid obeyed. "It had to be done. You are the only one we know of to have a natural immunity to the virus in our time. Which is why you, a telepath, can still fight. Yet you caught the modern equivalent and were enhanced by it without losing the ability to fight. Only your cub could carry through to the future the precise genes that will allow telepaths to fight again and contribute to them forming Leska links with the Humans." He stopped only long enough to sit down.
"Without this cub, everything you know could never have existed. Without her, telepaths might never fight again, whether or not they have a Human Leska. We need you to return to the future with the new gene that will stop the genetic drift. It'll also go a long way to ensuring that the hybrid children of mixed Leskas are less likely to suffer from birth defects. You're right," he leaned forward, "I will do
anything
I can to correct the damage done by my tampering. And
yes,
I do have the right to make those decisions."
He sat back, mouth opening slightly in a tired smile. "After all, aren't I destined to be a god in times yet to come? Believe me, Tallinu, I pay the price for those decisions on a daily basis. I can never forget what I've done, or the suffering that's been caused, but I also remember it freed us from the Valtegans."
"The fault isn't just yours. We played our part by using your serum too soon," said Jaisa quietly.
"No, the responsibility is mine alone," Vartra contradicted her. "Do you understand, Tallinu? It had to be you. But I can't leave it all to hang on the life of one cub. You are my backup, my second chance to get it right. Within you are the changes that must be spread among the Sholans of your day."
"The breeding program," Kaid muttered. "That's why it was started."
"You know?" Vartra sounded surprised.
"There is little we don't know. The Brotherhood's intelligence network is second to none," said Kaid. "How is this— fix— spread?" He was prepared to listen, no more.
"We've ensured it's passed on by two methods. A virus, like the ni'uzu but less deadly than it was originally for us."
"And?"
He hesitated. "We couldn't depend only on the virus in case your medics stopped it spreading before they realized its importance. So we designed it to be transmitted sexually as well."
Kaid began to growl deep in his throat, suddenly very aware of the tenderness in his groin. "You let that arrogant son of a tree-rhudda touch me...!"
"Enough, Tallinu! He's a doctor. It had to be done. Would you rather I'd asked Jaisa to do it?" Vartra demanded. "You'll never meet him again."
"I'll remember..."
"You'll forget." It was said with finality. "I won't. If what you say is true, I have an eternity of living with my actions ahead of me." There was a weariness in Vartra's voice this time. He stood up. "It's time to send you home."
"You're not messing with my mind, Vartra, nor is anyone else," he growled. "And just how do you intend to return me?"
"Crystals," said Jaisa. "Tiernay and I brought you back by locating your mind pattern."
"Seems you gained a lot from our time together," Kaid said bitterly. He could hardly bear to look at her; he felt used and betrayed by her on every level.
"Vartra didn't make me come to you that night. I came because I wanted to. There's no way he could have made me if I hadn't," she said, with a defiant look in Vartra's direction.
"She's my cub, Jaisa! Don't you understand? You stole her from me! It's my decision who I'll share them with— who I'll ask to carry them!"
"Mine, too."
"No! Not unless I ask you!" He looked at her puzzled expression. "You don't understand, do you?" He got up, turning away from her, affronted by her attitude. "Pairing with someone doesn't give you the right to share their cubs."
"Things are different here." She hesitated. "Would you like to see her?"
"No!"
"If you don't, you'll never have another chance. You may regret it."
He remained silent.
"Bring her in, Jaisa," said Vartra.
Jaisa looked uncertainly from one to the other.
"Do what the God says. Why change your habits for me? I'm nothing, not worthy of any consideration." He was angry beyond measure with both of them.
When she'd left the room, Vartra turned to him. "Stop getting this out of proportion, Tallinu. Many people have given their lives to save Shola from the Valtegans— your father for one. What you're being asked to do is nothing by comparison."
"You've played games with my mind since the beginning, Vartra. It would have been easier to die than to live with some of the things you've put me through! And my father's not dead," he said. "You can tell Zylisha that her sister and Rezac are still alive in our time. They survived in some kind of Valtegan cryogenic unit."
"They're alive?"
"I just said so," he snapped. "They're captives on a world called Jalna. In a few months we'll be heading out there to rescue them."
"By all the Gods!" It was Vartra's turn to be shocked.
"He sent a message for you. He said your plan worked."
"You see?" said Vartra, catching hold of his arm. "This
was
all necessary! Without my work they wouldn't have had the abilities to defeat the Valtegans! I just wish I'd gotten it right from the first."
"They left before we came here. Our visit didn't affect that outcome at all."
"I meant my initial work. What you carry now will set those first errors right, and what you gave to your daughter will save the lives of countless generations of unborn cubs!"
Kaid grunted in reply. Whatever the logic in Vartra's arguments, it didn't excuse his actions.
The door opened and Jaisa came in holding the child. "Come and see her," she said, walking into the center of the room where the light was brighter.
"A look won't hurt, Tallinu," said Vartra. "The cub has done nothing to earn your anger."
Reluctantly, Kaid got to his feet. He stood looking down at the sleeping infant.
"She's like you," she said. "Your eyes."
"Don't you mean Rezac's?" he asked. The words were said and regretted before he could stop them.
Startled, she looked up at him. "Not Rezac's, yours. His eyes were lighter."
"I didn't mean to say that," he mumbled, reaching a tentative finger down to touch the cub. An emotion he couldn't name flitted through him, then was gone. He'd never known Dzaka as an infant. Too late he heard the footsteps behind him and felt the hypoderm pressed to his neck.
As he began to crumple, Tiernay caught him. He felt himself being lifted and placed down on the treatment bed again. Gradually his consciousness began to fade.
The memory ended, spinning him back to his bedroom. He was lying on his back, looking up at the concerned faces of Lijou, T'Chebbi and Kha'Qwa. He barely saw them through the red mist of his rage. Like a coiled spring, he launched himself off the bed, landing beyond them.
"Kaid, calm down," began Lijou, keeping his voice even. "It happened weeks ago. You came back safely."
"He called me back to the Margins, Lijou! He used me— so did she!"
"Only to save lives, he made that clear. He sent you back with the corrected genes."
"I trusted him and he betrayed me! In Vartra's name, Lijou, they
stole
from my body, created a cub!" He stopped, realizing what he'd said. "In Vartra's name! He's no better than a criminal," he snarled, heading toward the door. "He's a sham, not a god! It's all lies and deceptions!"
"Stop him!" Kha'Qwa tried to reach the door before him.
Kaid flung her aside as he ran through the open doorway out into the lounge.
"He's heading for the temple," said Lijou, running over to where his mate had fallen. "I've alerted the guard. He's got to be stopped!"