Reaching Rachel (38 page)

“You’re so amazing,” Devin nibbled her ear lobe, running his hand down her naked backside. “I’ll never get enough of you, ever.” He pulled her closer to him, rubbing himself against her. They were back in Jacksonville for the weekend for his parent’s 35
th
anniversary party, but tonight was all theirs.

Rachel smiled, turning her face so she could kiss him. Dipping her tongue in his mouth, she bit down on his lip, loving the moan that came from him. “I love you,” she whispered into his mouth.

Devin cupped her face in his hands, looking through her, into her. “I will
never
get tired of hearing you say that,” he admitted. “I know it took so much for you to get to the point where you could let go like that again, put yourself out there. Thank you for doing that, for me.”

“You are worth everything that I’ve had to go through,” she traced her finger along his arm, along the tattoo that was hers and hers alone. She could just barely make out the name that he had recently added into the design.
Rachel
.

“Not everything,” Devin’s expression darkened temporarily. “I’m so glad that Mark is completely out of the picture. First, life in prison and then all privileges revoked after his stunt with the letter. Not to mention the three other girls that came forward. He’s lucky he did that plea deal when he did. And of course there’s Zack …”

“Don’t,” Rachel warned. “Don’t bring him here, into this. It’s over. We’re moving on, remember? We can’t change what happened with him. But what we can decide is to move on, be happy, and show them that they didn’t ruin us, they only made us stronger.”

Devin touched her stomach gently. “I can’t help but to wonder what would’ve happened, had that night not happened. We’d have been married very soon after that. I was already planning it. We would’ve had …” His unfinished sentence hung in the room. They would’ve had their baby. He or she would’ve been a school aged child by now.

Rachel sniffled, willing the tears to stay away. She knew how different their life would’ve been. “We can’t do this, Dev. Are we going to spend the rest of our lives talking about what could’ve been, or are we going to live together the way we should’ve always, because we love each other
now?
You do love me now and not the memory of me, right?”

He leaned over, kissing her eyes, nose, and then mouth. “I love you even more than I did then, and I never would’ve thought that was possible. I love you for how strong you are, how much you have been through, and for the way you make me feel. I feel like I’m on top of the world when you look at me, Rachel, like I’m the only man on the earth. You believe in me and love me, despite everything that we’ve been through. You took a chance and trusted me when your trust had been broken in everything and everyone else. While I knew, way back when we first met, that you were my soul mate, it’s much more than that now. Can I live without you? Well, yes, and I did survive for many years without you. But I don’t
want
to live without you ever again. That was the most painful part of my life, well, before seeing you that night with a gun to your head and sitting by your bed praying you would wake up. There’s always something in your life that wakes you up, makes you realize what is important and what isn’t.
You
are important. We are important. Everything else we will figure out, as long as we have each other.” Devin sat up, reaching into the drawer of the nightstand, where he had put the gift when they arrived. “I have something for you.”

“What’s that?” Rachel sat up too, the sheet falling from her body as she looked curiously at the wrapped present he held. “Why do I get a present?”

“Because,” he answered. “Open it.”

She pulled the simple wrapping paper from it, wondering what in the world he could’ve gotten her. As she pulled the last of the paper off, she saw that it was what looked like a scrapbook.

“A scrapbook?” This was so unlike Devin, she couldn’t even believe it.

“Not just any scrapbook. This is our book, Rachel. In this book are pictures of us from years ago, then ones from us in the last several months. There are blank pages, because our memories are just beginning. And, in the back, is my journal.”

“Journal?” Rachel looked at the book, then at him, incredulous. Since when did he write? Seeing her confused look, he opened the book for her. She gasped as she saw the pictures of them camping, then many holidays, parties, and casual dates they had had over their two year relationship. Then, she saw pictures of them that were current, from the day they went to the gardens in Alabama, casual pictures they had taken themselves where they were acting silly, and pictures of them with Kayley and Ben’s kids. The book was not your normal scrapbook. It was a leather bound book, a beautiful keepsake. As she flipped past the blank pages, she got to the part he told her about. Page after page of Devin’s handwriting. Looking at the dates, he stomach clenched. It was when she had been in the hospital.

“Oh, my god,” she breathed, scanning the first entry. “You wrote this for me?”

“I was going crazy,” Devin admitted, his voice soft. “I talked and talked to you, but there were some times that I just had to sit there, looking at you and remembering. So I started writing what I was feeling, how much I had missed you. I had no idea if I was ever going to get another chance with you, but there were things that needed to be said. So, I thought I would give this to you. I had some help from Kayley. She suggested I use my extra time to write these things for you, then I decided to add our pictures. Not because I want to make you sad, make you remember that awful time in your life, but so you can see how much I loved you then, and love you now.”

Tears shimmered in her eyes, and she couldn’t speak. This man was just unreal. Turning to the second entry, she could barely see through her tears, but she had read it.

Rachel,

I sit here, watching you, and I’m so overcome with emotion that I don’t know what to do. You need to wake up. I can’t believe that I’m here with you, and you can’t even talk to me. I’ve missed you so much. Every single second of the last five years, I’ve wanted to look at your eyes again. But, when I got the chance to see them, it had never scared me more in my life. What happened to you, my love? I was so stupid to let you go, Rachel. You’ve always been it for me. I’ve compared everyone to you, and no one ever measures up. I can’t eat or sleep, I just want to sit here and will you to open those amazing green eyes and look at me. You’re so beautiful, even in the condition you are in. You never have completely understood how amazing you are. My heart has never belonged to anyone else. So no matter what happened, we will move on. Us finding each other again, that’s a sign. Even though the circumstances surrounding this are terrible, I want you to know that I’m here. I’ll be here for you every step of the way. Please wake up, Rachel. I miss you. I love you.

Devin

Devin watched her as a million different emotions crossed her face. There were over 25 journal entries, from the time she was in the hospital all the way through to just a few days ago. While he had told her so many times how he felt, he wanted her to see the proof, something she could always have to remind her.

She put the book to the side and smiled at him, her eyes still filled with tears. “Well, damn,” Rachel laughed, straddling his sexy waist. “How am I supposed to top that? I
do
love you, Devin Ryan Putnam. I’ve never been happier in my life. That was the best thing I’ve ever gotten. It’s better than anything you could’ve gotten me. I will treasure it forever.” She leaned over and pressed her body against his in a tight hug. “Now, what do you say we do less talking?” She leaned over, her hair surrounding them, and his hands immediately gripped her hips while they kissed, tongues entwining desperately. Moving his hands from her hips, he traveled up her flat stomach to the swell of her breasts.

Tracing his tattoo with her tongue, Devin moaned, swelling underneath her. It was her spot, and a sure fire way to get him all riled up. Flipping her over quickly, he hovered over her, the muscles in his arms and chest bulging with the effort of holding himself up. Running one hand up her body from her leg to her breast, she shivered in anticipation. He stopped at the spot that she had tattooed not long after he had her name added to his. Right on her lower stomach, she had put three small hearts that represented the two of them and the baby that would never be. He loved it, especially because it was in a spot that only the two of them would share.

Leaning over, Devin kissed her lower stomach, and she didn’t miss the meaning behind what he was doing. Their baby had been in there. Maybe someday, they would get another chance at what they missed out on. Running her free hand through his hair as he kissed up her body, she writhed under his touch.

Devin smirked, using his other hand to touch where she was very ready for him. “Hmmm.” His eyes traveled from where his hand was touching, up her body, to watch the reaction he knew was coming on her face. She closed her eyes, arching her back as he expertly entered her with his fingers, curving and teasing in just the right spots. “I love that, so much,” he growled. Rachel reached for him, her hand easily finding the evidence of his arousal for her. She loved the feeling of him—so strong, but so soft. As soon as she touched him, he hissed out of his teeth, and she smiled. She loved the effect she had on him as well.

“Please,” she begged, her body screaming for him. In response, Devin found her mouth again, doing with his tongue what she knew he would be doing to her insides. His one hand still teased her inside and out, and his free one held hers, lacing their fingers together.

Entering her, he laced one of his hands with hers, using the other to touch her. As he filled her, she moaned, unable to stop the myriad of sensations that overtook her. Every time with him was just as good, if not better, than the time before. He was the best lover, whether it was slow and soft or hard and fast.

Opening her eyes, she noticed he was staring right at her face. Rocking her hips with his, she kept her eyes fixed on his, watching him. There was so much that they said together without having to say a word, and this was one of those times. As great as sex was for them, it was so much more. It was forgiveness, trust, connection, and love. They had been through so much together.

“Dev,” she whispered, letting go of his hands so she could wrap her arms around him. He pulled her up slightly so she was almost sitting, and they rocked gently. “I love you, baby.”

He closed his eyes briefly, then reopened them, a shimmer of emotion blatant there. “Rach.” He didn’t need to say anything else. Pushing into her harder, the need intensified and they both put the emotion they were feeling into their bodies, rocking, moaning, and climaxing together.

“I have a surprise for you,” Devin murmured in her ear, making her shiver.

“Hmmm.” Rachel moaned.

“That’s all you can say?” Devin laughed, tickling her side gently. She rolled over quickly, giggling.

“I’m drunk on you. Have you seen yourself lately?”

Devin roared with laughter. “I could say the same thing about you. Now, get up and let’s shower. I’m taking you out.”

“Out? Why? Can’t we just stay here?”

He smacked her behind, then pulled her out of bed with him. “Come on. It’ll be fun, I promise.”

“Do you trust me?” Devin looked at her wickedly, holding her car door open. They had showered and dressed, and Rachel was wearing a short black dress, her hair curled and framing her face, her makeup done flawlessly.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Well, of course, but why?”

He whipped a blindfold out of his pocket, and she frowned. “You’re going to mess up my hair.”

Devin laughed. “There’s my girl. Your hair won’t be messed up. You’re the most gorgeous woman on this planet. Now, come here. You’ll know where I’m going if you can see, and it’s a surprise.”

She stuck her lip out at him, but winked, and he put the blindfold on her carefully. “We’re going to use this later,” he warned, his breath hot against her ear, and she was instantly turned on.