Reaching Rachel (35 page)

“So many people have tried to cheer me up, make me see that it’s amazing I’m alive, but none of them get it. Hearing it come from you, it really hits home. I know that you know exactly how I feel, and you’ve had a couple of months to start healing. I can only hope that I do as well as you have.”

Rachel and Alana had visited for over two hours, talking about anything and everything. She felt like she genuinely had a friend, someone she would be connected to for a long time to come. When they left because Alana was getting tired, they arranged to meet for lunch before Rachel and Devin left at the end of the weekend. It made her feel better, to use her experience to help someone else. Dr. Troast would be proud.

“I’m so proud of you, Rachel. That was impressive, what you did back there.” Rachel looked over at Devin as he drove away from the house, his dark shades hiding his eyes and his arm draped casually over the steering wheel. Her heart palpitated as she took him in.

“Thank you, Dev. That means a lot to me. I know you weren’t thrilled about coming here, but thank you for indulging me. It was great, seeing her. I’m glad we came.”

“I was just worried about you,” he admitted, lifting his shades so he could look her in the eyes. “I didn’t know what seeing her would do to you. I just want you to keep moving forward. But you were right. Doing this actually helped you.”

“Dev, you can’t be so worried all the time about me falling apart. Are there going to be times when it’s just too much for me? Yes. But I’m a big girl. I can handle it. And if I can’t, I’ll tell you. I promise.”

She leaned over and pressed her lips to his while they were stopped at a stoplight. “I love that you are so protective over me, though. Thank you.”

“Always,” he whispered against her lips. “Now, for the rest of the time here, you’re mine. All mine. Well, except for when we meet Alana for lunch.”

Rachel grinned, bringing his hand up and kissing his knuckles. “That sounds fabulous to me. Where are we headed first?”

“I thought we’d go to the Botanical Gardens. It’s beautiful out, and it’s a very peaceful, relaxing place. What do you think?”

Rachel looked at him and grinned. “Did you have this planned?”

“Well, I’ve heard that it’s beautiful, and I also knew you would need some time to decompress after this week, so yes, I did plan it.”

“That sounds great, Devin. There’s nothing more I’d like to do than spend the day relaxing with you. Well, except if we were
alone
, you know.” She wriggled her eyebrows at him.

“Oh, don’t you worry,” he responded. “There’s plenty of that coming tonight too. That’s the final step in de-stressing you. And me.”

Devin pulled up to the Botanical Gardens and they headed to buy tickets and go in. Rachel had never been to Alabama before, and loved looking around at all of the beautiful trees and flowers in the gardens. They hiked through trails hand in hand, stopping whenever they felt like it to kiss in the middle of the walkway. It felt amazing to not talk for one second about anything other than them.

Stopping in the Rhododendron Garden, Rachel gasped at the beautiful azalea’s surrounding them in all different colors and sizes. It looked just like something you would see in a painting. “It’s so beautiful,” she murmured, turning in a circle to take it all in. Devin slid his arms around her from behind, nuzzling her neck.

“I agree,” he said into her ear. “But I’m not talking about azaleas.” She leaned into him, closing her eyes, enjoying the feeling of being complete with Devin at her side.

Turning in his arms, she put her hands on his face. He looked down into her eyes, and the whole world fell away. They could’ve been surrounded by a million people or just a few, and she wouldn’t have known the difference. “Why do you love me so much? I don’t deserve you,” she whispered, searching his eyes.

“Oh Rachel,” he moaned back, bringing a hand up to his face to cover hers. “You deserve everything, baby. You need to stop believing that you aren’t good enough. Why do I love you? For so many reasons, I could tell you all day. But to start, I love that even when you act so tough, you’re really a softie inside. You don’t show many people that, but I know it. I love you because after all you’ve been through, you still have enough compassion to think of others. I love you because you complete a part of me I never thought I needed to have completed, and as much as I tried, I’m just not the same without you. You are not just an amazingly beautiful woman, sensual and sexual and stunning, but you are extremely intelligent and driven. I love you because you are
you
, Rachel Elise Dawson. There isn’t anything
not
to love about you. Does that answer you?”

Without waiting for her answer, he dipped his head and kissed her softly, sweetly, like he was trying to make the moment last forever. She closed her eyes, losing herself in the moment. The trees rustled and she could hear birds in the distance, but at that second, it was just them, the way she wanted it.

“You sure know exactly what to say to make me a puddle of mush,” she joked after he pulled away. He winked and pinched her backside, making her squeal. “But seriously, Devin. I can’t even list the amount of things you’ve done for me in the last few months. You are the most selfless, amazing person I’ve ever known. And you’re mine. I must’ve done something right to deserve someone like you.”

“We belong to each other. There’s nothing else that can explain it, Rachel. When you think about the circumstances that brought us back together, you know that there was something else at work there. I mean, I had no idea where you lived now. What are the odds of me getting a job, where you live, and being there that day? I know we don’t want to bring Mark into this, but …”

“He brought us back together,” she finished. “I know. Isn’t that the craziest thing ever? I had to be with a psycho in order to get the love of my life back. I wonder if it’s possible for us to move forward without any more stuff happening to us. Wait, maybe I shouldn’t say that.” They laughed, and Devin led them to a gathering area in the middle, adorned with pavers, benches, and columns. Set up in the middle was a blanket and a picnic basket.

Rachel looked at him, incredulous. “You did this?” When he nodded, she shook her head, laughing. “I swear. I don’t know what to expect with you.”

“That’s the point,” he laughed. “I can’t become predictable.”

Settling down on the blanket, Devin laid out fruit, cheese and crackers, cut up vegetable slices, and a light, fruity white wine. “This is the appetizer for the main course.”

“Which is?”

Devin looked at her suggestively, and she got it. She grinned, anticipation tickling her stomach. Leaning over to feed her a grape, she wrapped her tongue around his finger as he offered the grape. His eyes zeroed in on her finger as she sucked the fruit into her mouth, and he immediately followed his finger with his lips. She passed the grape into his mouth, and he bit it in half and then shared the other part back with her. Reluctantly pulling away, they chewed their half grape in silence, the tension crackling between them. Rachel picked up another grape and ran it along Devin’s lips, the thought of doing this to him later in their room making her quake with desire.

He opened up, his eyes watching her intently. She slid the grape in and followed her mouth to his lips, and they repeated sharing the grape. When she pulled away, she leaned over so her lips were against his ear. “If we were in our room right now, want to know what I would do?” He gripped her hips and pulled her onto his lap, nodding his head. She continued to whisper into his ear, knowing how she was affecting him.

“Rachel,” he grunted. “If you don’t stop, it’s going to get embarrassing.”

“For who?” she teased, batting her eyelashes. He threw his head back and laughed, settling her next to him on the blanket.

“What would you think of going back to school?” Rachel wrinkled her brow at him. That was quite a switch in subject.

“I don’t know, Dev. I don’t know if I have it in me to do that now. It kind of feels like it’s too little, too late.”

“It’s never too late to realize your dreams. Haven’t we been enough of an example of that?”

She couldn’t argue with that, but she wasn’t sure. Going to school seemed like such a big hurdle to cross. “I’ll think about it.”

“You’d be a great therapist. I thought so then, and I think so even more now. Plus, you have Kayley and Jessica to help you learn the ropes, too. Having friends in the business, plus you working in the office, will definitely give you an edge.”

Rachel lay back against Devin, her mind reeling. Did she still want to be a therapist? She knew that, no matter what she said out loud, that she did. She had always regretted quitting. Seeing her friends at work doing what she had always wanted to do was just one more thing that made her life feel unfulfilled. She just wasn’t sure that she could take that on right now, on top of everything else. What if she failed?

Rachel stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom of their hotel room, smiling at her reflection. They had had such an amazing afternoon. One of the best things about Devin was his ability to be her friend just as much as her lover. He listened, he gave advice, and he pushed her beyond her realm. They had talked about so many things. As much time as they had spent together in the past few months, they always felt like they had more and more to catch up on from the time they were apart.

She loved hearing about his job, and how he moved up through the ranks and why he decided to apply for a SWAT position. While he couldn’t tell her everything about the job, just listening to him have so much passion for what he did made her swell with pride.

Devin had started her wheels turning about what she should do for her future. Checking that she looked presentable, she smiled at herself again, then opened the bathroom door to surprise her hot man.

Stepping seductively into the room, Devin’s eyes immediately swung to her. He was laying on the bed with the television on, his shirt off, exposing his sculpted, perfect washboard abs. Her eyes found his tattoo, and the slow burn that started every time she looked at him began smoldering into a fire. He sat up, his mouth dropping slightly at the sight of her.

“My God,” he breathed. “I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed as she stepped two steps closer to him. His eyes roamed from top to bottom, not sure where he should look next.

“Like something you see?” she teased, turning around slowly. She heard his sharp intake of breath, and she turned back to see the expression on his face as he stepped up to her.

“I see something I’m going to enjoy very, very much.”

Devin reached out and traced the swell of her breasts, protruding out of a completely sheer black lace bra. He traced his finger down her flat stomach to the barely-there lace thong that covered so little, he wouldn’t have to do much to get rid of it. On her amazing legs were stockings held up with garters, and she wore hot pink heels that made her a lot closer to his height. He could barely breathe.

“Slow or hard,” she whispered, looking up at him under hooded eyes. He thought his heart might pound out of his chest, he was so turned on by her. He wasn’t really sure he could even move, much less answer her. “Me in control or you.”

He looked back into her eyes, simmering with need, and he chose to act instead of answer. He turned and laid on the bed, showing her she had control. She grinned, walking towards him slowly, like a predator about to attack. “So that’s the way it’s going to be, huh? I take advantage of you?”

Devin smirked, willing himself to stay still so he didn’t jump up and throw her down on the bed. He needed to show her she could do this. “Take your best shot.”

Reaching for his jeans, she unbuttoned them slowly, sliding them down his body and dropping them on the floor, followed by his underwear. Her eyes scanned his body, like she always did, then she climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. His body immediately responded, pressing against her in need. She started rubbing his shoulders, moving downward to his chest, abs, and then back up. She was torturing him. He held his breath, wishing more than anything he could flip her over and take control.