Reaching Rachel (16 page)

“Is she going to wake up?” She asked what they both were terrified of.

“The doctor said that they stopped the medication that was keeping her sleeping, so she can wake up at any time now,” he repeated.

She nodded and sat down on the other side of Rachel’s bed. “You know what she’s going to be like when she wakes up, right?”

Devin looked at Rachel’s best friend, the one who had been there for her when he wasn’t, and nodded silently. “Yes.”

“I just learned about you recently,” Kayley started. “She’s never told anyone what happened between you, but what I do know is that she loved you, and she still does. All this time, she’s been keeping people at arm’s length, even me, to protect herself. She thinks she’s no good, Devin, that she doesn’t deserve to be loved.”

His heart squeezed at her words. God, he wished she would wake up right now. No wonder she had gotten herself involved with this asshole. She thought it was what she deserved. “What happened with us seems like a lifetime ago. Right now, all I want is for her to open her eyes.”

“Did she see you—in the house?” Kayley was careful with her words. She had heard enough about the details of that day, and it made her sick just thinking about what she had endured at the hands of that man.

“She looked at me,” Devin answered, looking at Rachel’s face. “But I don’t really know how coherent she was at that point. She was severely injured, and it was smoky in there from the team smoke bombing the place. I sure as hell saw her though. Never in my life did I ever think …” Devin’s voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, working hard around the lump that refused to leave. “I can’t believe that this is how we get to be reunited, of all things. How long has she lived here?”

“Over 5 years,” her friend answered, holding Rachel’s pinky finger in hers. “I met her when she started working at the therapy center where I used to work. Right now, I’m a stay at home mom.”

“I bet she’s a kick ass therapist,” Devin said.

Kayley furrowed her brow. “Therapist? She’s our office manager.”

He dropped his eyes to the bed. She wasn’t a therapist? She had been working so hard in school. But as he thought about the timing, he knew that she couldn’t have finished if she had been here for that long. That meant that she had left right after … no … she had quit school. Because of him? A pit settled in his stomach at the thought of her giving it all up.

“She was going to school to be a therapist when we … broke up. She was so talented. She must’ve given it up …”

“Wow,” was all Kayley could think of to say. “I never knew that. That’s sad.” Devin couldn’t say anything back to that, because it was more than sad. It was heartbreaking, and he needed to know why. She needed to wake up.

“I’ve been talking to her, reminding her of some of the stories from when we were together. God, Kayley, if she doesn’t wake up … if I don’t get a chance to tell her …”

“She will,” Kayley reached across Rachel’s lap and placed her hand on his. “She’s strong.”

Devin looked at Rachel again, at the curve of her eyebrows, her long eyelashes resting against her cheekbones, at the delicate skin that was marred with bruises and cuts. “Remember our first anniversary, babe? You were complaining that you had homework to do, but I didn’t want any part of listening to you. I had a plan to surprise you. I will never forget your face when I pulled up at the camping site. You said, ‘What the hell are we doing here?’ like it was the worst place you had ever seen. You wanted to know where the hotel was with the fluffy towels and room service. You were determined that you were
not
a camping girl.

But, somehow I convinced you to get out of the car and help me start setting up camp. I had reserved a beautiful spot right by a lake, and after what seemed like forever, we had the tent up. You were standing there, in your beautiful glory, your hair piled on your head and your hands on your hips, asking me where the bathroom was. When I pointed at the trees, you ran for me and tackled me, begging me to take you home. But once I had you in the tent, you quickly forgot your complaining.”

Kayley’s giggle reminded him that he wasn’t alone. “Sorry,” he stammered, looking away.

“I love it,” she answered. “I can only imagine how cranky she was when you first got there. Keep going … I want to hear. This is like hearing about a totally different Rachel than I’ve ever known.”

“We had the best time that weekend,” Devin continued, his eyes searching Rachel’s face for any sign of waking up. “I got you to hike, canoe, and sleep under the stars. I fell in love with you even more that weekend, not because you had fun or because I got what I wanted, but because you did something that was totally out of your comfort zone, and you
loved
it. That wasn’t the last time we went camping, but for me, it was the most memorable.”

“Tell another one,” Kayley begged. “I love seeing this side of her.” Devin sat back, his eyes twinkling, ready to start yet another story.

The colors were muted; she blinked her eyes, trying to focus on what she was seeing. The sounds were muffled; it sounded like someone was talking, but she couldn’t make out where it was coming from. Where was she? What was going on? Turning to look behind her, she gasped as he came into focus. Devin. Devin was here? He was standing next to the lake, the lake that they always visited when they went camping. Their tent was set up nearby, and a campfire was keeping the mosquitos away. Rachel looked down and saw that she was wearing her favorite cutoff jean shorts and a bikini top. She was damp, like they had been swimming.

“Devin?” her voice was low, raspy, and he didn’t hear her. He had a fishing pole stuck into the lake, and was staring out at the water. He had a baseball cap on backwards, a muscle shirt that showed his ripped arms, and a pair of swimming shorts. He was as mouth-watering as he had ever been. God, she missed him. Her heart ached just looking at him. What was she doing here, with him?

Trying to step towards him, she realized she couldn’t move. Looking down at her feet, she furrowed her brow. Why couldn’t she get to him? She looked up again, and this time Devin was farther away. A noise escaped her mouth as she tried again in vain to move towards him.

“Devin!” she attempted to shout, but once again, her voice came out low and raspy. He turned and walked away, no longer in her sight. She sat down on the damp ground, tears running down her face. He was walking away. Again. What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she talk to him? “I love you, Devin. I’m sorry. Please come back to me.” Before she could control it, darkness started taking over, and the last thing she saw before it all went black was the reflection of the sun off the lake.

“Her vital signs are good,” Dr. Zeke reported, flipping open Rachel’s chart. “She really has no reason to not wake up, so we just wait and watch at this point.”

Devin sighed, running a hand through his hair. Her parents, Kayley, and Ben were in the room with him. “How long could it be?”

Dr. Zeke smiled thinly at him. “The mind is an interesting thing. It could take as long as she wants it to take. She has to be ready for the mental anguish of waking up. In fact, when she does wake up we will have a team from psych ready.”

“Why?” Devin felt instantly angry, and knew it came out in his voice. “You aren’t going to do something crazy like drug her up or tie her to the bed, are you?”

“Not unless that’s necessary. There’s no telling what her state will be when she wakes up, and I’m sure you know that. She has been through an enormous trauma. Some people never remember fully, and some wake up fully immersed in what happened. Her brain will try to protect her until it seems she’s ready. That’s as much as I can tell you.”

“Does talking to her help?” Elise asked tearfully, wiping her eyes. “She’s been like this for four days now. It’s killing me to see her just lying here. I want her to know that she’s okay.”

“There’s plenty of opinions out there that loved ones talking to patients helps them wake up, but of course there is no real way to know. I’m sure Rachel knows that you are all here. Keep doing what you are doing. I’ll check in on her later tonight.”

The group thanked Dr. Zeke and fell silent as the door clicked behind him. Devin was exhausted, and hadn’t showered in days. He couldn’t remember the last time he ate anything, either.

“Devin, why don’t we go grab some dinner downstairs and you can use my buddy’s office to take a shower, change your clothes. You aren’t doing her any good if you are run down and exhausted,” Ben said, seemingly reading his mind.

Kayley looked at her husband and smiled, then at Devin. He looked back at Rachel, still sleeping peacefully. “It’ll be okay,” she reassured him. “If she stirs at all, I’ll call you immediately. Promise.”

Ben clapped a hand on Devin’s shoulder. “Come on, man. The cafeteria serves a mean lasagna. It’s partially edible.”

Devin actually laughed, forcing himself to get out of his chair. His back ached, and his legs felt atrophied, like he hadn’t moved in days. Oh wait, he hadn’t. Looking back at Rachel again, he leaned over her bed, breathing in the scent that even after all this time, was inherently her. He brushed his lips gently over hers, pausing just slightly so he could revel in the warmth of her for a moment longer. “Please wake up,” he begged. As he stood up, he realized that everyone in the room was watching him. Both of Rachel’s parents were wiping their eyes, and he smiled at them thinly. He had bared it all over the last several days; there was no sense in stopping it now.

Walking out of the room, Devin blew out the breath that it seemed he had been holding for four days. Ben looked at him as they walked to the elevator bank.

“He’s right,” Ben said, pressing the button. “She
is
going to wake up. It’s just a matter of time now.”

“I’m terrified,” Devin admitted, and Ben nodded in understanding.

“About everything?”

“Every. Damn. Thing. What will she think when she wakes up? What will she remember? Will she want me here? All of it.”

“Things didn’t end well with you, right?” Ben asked. Devin looked at him. “Kayley told me.”

“You could say that,” Devin admitted.

The doors opened and the two men walked into the busy cafeteria. “All I can say is this, man. Rachel is going to need you. Not only physically, but mentally. So put the bullshit aside and figure that out later, and just be here. Once she sees that, all the rest will be secondary.”

Walking through the line, Devin looked blankly at all the choices, not hungry at all. Ben reached over and plopped a plate of lasagna on his tray and indicated the checkout line. “You aren’t any good to her if you don’t take care of you. Come on.”

“How bad is it going to be?” Devin asked, looking down into his food. After a moment without an answer, he looked up to meet Ben’s eyes.

“It’ll be hard, Devin. She has a long road ahead. Are you up for this?”

“I have a lot to make up for, Ben. I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure that Rachel gets through this. There isn’t going to be a moment that she doesn’t know I’m here for her.”

Ben smiled. “She’ll be in good hands, then. You finished? Let’s get you upstairs to change. I have some jeans and a shirt you can borrow.”