Reaching Rachel (18 page)

“Please what.”

“Now. I want it now.”

Devin growled, his lips attacking hers with desire so strong, she felt it coming off him in waves. His tongue danced wildly with hers, and he titled his head to allow their kiss to deepen. She could feel his rapid heartbeat against her hands as she ran them up and down his chest. She moaned again, squirming against him as she ran her fingers through his hair, entwining her tongue with his and tugging on his lip with her teeth.

Finally having teased her enough, he shifted so that he could put the tip at her entrance. Rubbing back and forth, she just about lost it as she felt him in just the right spot. The combination of smooth but hard, coupled with the kissing and touching he was doing, she just couldn’t take it. She wiggled again, and he chuckled into her mouth. Pulling away gently, his eyes met hers. Panting, they were both beyond aroused. He cupped her behind and pushed into her, slamming her against the wall as he did it. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she rocked with him as he pumped in and out of her. The only sounds were their heavy breathing and intermittent moans. Rachel grabbed his hair as he continued his amazing assault on her senses.

“God,” she breathed. Abruptly, Devin picked her up and walked with her to the bed. Still inside her, he laid her down and leaned over her, caging her with his arms.

“I love you,” he whispered against her lips. Her heart stuttered. She loved when he said those words, especially when he was in the throes of passion.

“I love you too,” she repeated, reaching around and pulling his fine ass closer, deeper into her. “Now show me.”

Devin smiled, using one hand to push her hair back off her face as he continued to make love to her. While the wall had been hot and fierce, he was now tender, slow, and gentle. She loved both. She loved him.

Rachel smiled as she awoke, expecting to see Devin lying next to after that wonderful lovemaking. Turning her head, she took in her surroundings. She was not in her bedroom with Devin next to her. She was in a hospital room. Looking down, she saw her one arm in a cast and the other in a sling.

Tears welling in her eyes, she remembered. She had woken up before, and then she had been asleep again. Realizing she couldn’t even wipe tears from her eyes, she groaned in frustration.
It had been a dream, just a dream
, she thought sadly.
An amazing dream of an amazing time
.

Had she seen Devin? Was he really here with her in the hospital? She knew she had seen him, but was now confused between her dreams and her reality. No one was in the room right now. She had no idea what time it was, but a quick look out her windows showed her that it was dark.

What was she doing here again? What had happened to her? Closing her eyes again, she wracked her brain to remember. Both of her arms were hurt. Her body ached, as did her head. Was she in a car accident? She heard Devin’s voice in her head just like he had been here talking. She must be losing her mind, because it had been over five years since the last time she saw him, yet here she was, dreaming about him and thinking he was here with her. But he wasn’t.

What was the last thing she remembered doing? Was she at home? Work? God, it was so frustrating not to know. She hated not being in control, and she definitely wasn’t now. She couldn’t even get up. Briefly, she wondered if anyone was here with her at all, but she didn’t have to wait long to find out. The door started opening slowly, and she tried to see who it was. The room was mostly dark, with only a small light on inside the bathroom. Whoever was there was trying to be quiet as not to wake her. She watched as the person closed the door softly, then headed to her bed. Maybe a doctor? She could tell it wasn’t Kayley because the figure was too big, too tall.

The dark figure approached her bed. She fought with her eyes to adjust so she could see, and she gasped out loud. She looked back at her arms to make sure she wasn’t still dreaming, then at the window again. Yes, she was still in the hospital bed. “Devin?” She couldn’t believe she was being so ridiculous. She was probably making a fool of herself in front of a doctor or nurse.

“You’re awake.” The timbre of his voice settled deep inside her. The same voice she had been dreaming about. “How are you feeling?” He stepped away to turn on the small light over the sink, and all she could do was hope that when he turned the light on, she would see what she was wishing she was seeing.

The light flicked on and turned back to her. She gasped at the sight of him. It was him. “I …” She struggled to clear her throat, and he immediately picked up a cup of water by the bed and lifted the straw to her lips. Feeling the cool water soothing her parched throat, her eyes never left his. Now that the light was on, she took in his dark, tousled hair, the deep blue of his eyes, and what seemed to be a few days of growth on his face. Tracking her eyes down his body, she could see a peek of the tattoo she loved so much on his arm.

“I’m awake? You’re really here?”

Devin stepped up to the bed, looking down at her, his eyes serious. “Yes, Rachel. I’ve been here for almost a week. You don’t remember seeing me, talking to me when you woke up before?”

Rachel thought back. “Why?”

Devin didn’t need to ask what she meant—he knew. Without stopping to think what he was doing, he slipped off his shoes and pulled back her sheets. Once she realized what he was doing, she attempted to scoot over, though it was difficult with both of her arms having limited movement. “It’s okay. I’ll be careful.” She wondered why in the world he wanted to be here at all, much less to lay down in a small hospital bed next to her, but she was too afraid to say anything. She never thought she’d see him again, and here he was, climbing into bed with her.

As soon as he settled himself carefully next to her, he helped her sit up slightly so he could arrange himself, then lay her back so that she fit right in the crook of his arm, where he loved her most. She noticed that it was her favorite arm—the one with the tattoo. She turned her face automatically, her body remembering what she used to do. She caught herself before she kissed his arm, and stiffened.

“Why are you here?” The smell of him, the warmth, it had tears pricking in the back of her eyes. “What happened to me?”

“Rachel.” Her name coming off his lips was enough to send tears rolling out of her eyes. Turning her face into him as much as she could, she didn’t understand what was going on, but was also afraid to know. Tenderly wiping them from her eyes, she allowed herself to get lost in his gaze. “You’re so beautiful. I missed you.” Her stomach clenched at his words. She hadn’t heard them in so long, the rasp and gentleness of his voice just did her in. Sobs wracked her body, and he stroked her back as she cried, soaking his shirt. “Get it all out, honey. I’m here.”

“Tell me, Devin. I need to know,” she finally said. He heard the spark in her voice and knew. She wouldn’t stop until she knew.

“You don’t remember waking up before? Talking to me?”

She thought, but all that could come to her head were the amazing dreams she had been having. “All I remember is dreams I was having—about you. I dreamed about the first time we ever went camping, the night we met each other, and us …”

“What?” Devin prodded her. She had been dreaming what he had been talking to her about.

A blush crept across her cheeks, even through the bruises. “Us making love. But I don’t remember actually seeing you here, talking to you. Or maybe I do, but I just can’t tell what is real and what isn’t.”

Devin grinned. “I was sitting right here next to you, talking to you, for days. I was telling you all of the stories of us.” He couldn’t help it; he was overcome. He leaned his head down and brushed his lips to hers, and she whimpered. “God,” he breathed. “I missed you
so much
, Rachel Dawson. So damn much I can’t believe what an idiot I was to let this much time go by.”

“How did you find me?” Her voice was low and strained with emotion. His kiss had reminded her of what she had missed for so long, and she didn’t know if she could take him walking away again.

“Well,” he began, pressing one more soft kiss to her lips. “You’ve been through a really rough week, Rachel. Do you remember anything at all?” He didn’t want to remind her that she had indeed remembered before, and they had given her sedatives to calm her. He wasn’t going to be the one responsible for a reaction like she had last time.

Rachel studied his face as her brain processed his words. She thought back, tried to think of the last thing she remembered. “Why can’t you just tell me?”

“I don’t want to,” Devin admitted. “I’m scared.”

Rachel’s eyes flew to his again. “It was that bad?” She looked at herself, felt her sore body, and knew it wasn’t a car accident. “I was attacked, wasn’t I?”

“What do you remember as far as who your friends are, where you work, things like that?” Rachel narrowed her eyes at him, knowing he was using a cop tactic on her. He wasn’t going to tell her.

“I work at In Loving Hands Therapy Center,” she started. He realized she didn’t elaborate on what she actually did there. “I live in my parents’ beach house off Sunset. My friend Kayley is always there for me …” A flash of memory attacked her, and she closed her eyes against it.

“Let it come,” Devin whispered. “But, hold on to me, okay? And make sure you let me in.”

Her body shook with the anticipation of what she was about to remember. It was right there, on the edge of her consciousness. A dark, brooding figure leaning over her. Hurting her. Screaming at her. Yelling, noise, shots.
Justin
.

“Look at me,” Devin demanded in a voice that made her immediately lock her eyes on his. “Talk. Tell me what you’re seeing. You can’t keep it all inside, or you will end up right where you were before. You were already awake once, but they drugged you. I know you don’t want that, Rachel. Fight through it.”

She closed her eyes briefly, and Justin’s face flashed in front of her. Angry, mean, and hateful eyes bored into hers. The body that had loved her but it had all been a lie. He had then used it in the worst way possible. The news story. The cops. Kayley. Devin.

“You were there, weren’t you?” Rachel looked up at him. Devin nodded, bringing his hand gently to cup the side of her face. She leaned into it as tears ran down her face again. “Justin. He was Mark Stevenson, right?” Devin nodded again as she processed her memories. “He hurt me.”

Devin was never so glad in his life to see someone talking. “Tell me, honey. Get it all out.” She curled herself into him as much as her arm would allow. Why hadn’t he thought of this the first time she woke up?

“I met him almost three months ago, th—the anniversary of the day we broke up. Every year, I go somewhere and drink away the memory—of you. Of us.” Devin stared at her. Every year? She hadn’t moved on any more than he had.

“We … hooked up. But he quickly became possessive, jealous. I never wanted to be in a relationship with him, but I didn’t have a choice. I mean, he was nice, over the top nice when he wanted to be, and romantic. Now I know he was just playing me.”

“Had he hurt you before that day?” Devin’s fists were clenched. He wasn’t sure he could hear what the asshole had done.

“Yes.” Her voice was so quiet, he barely heard her. “He grabbed my arm so hard it bruised. Then, he hit me so hard in the face I couldn’t go to work for a week.”

Rachel looked up at Devin as a strangled noise came from his throat without warning. His face was twisted, tortured. “He did
what?
” He wanted to punch something. No, he
needed
to punch something. But she needed him more.

“I had just gone back to work, and he threatened me to not talk to Kayley. Well, she showed up for lunch. She started telling me about this news story she had seen, and the guy had resembled Justin. She told me to check it out. So, when she left, I found it online and realized it was him. I was going to go to the cops, I was leaving work when—when …”

Her body started shaking again, and he held her as tightly as he could without hurting her. “You’re safe,” Devin repeated. God, he hoped she didn’t shut down again. He didn’t know if he could take it.

“He was outside. He was so angry. He hurt me, shoved me into the truck. He was driving like a crazy person, and I remember wishing he would crash so I could get away. Then, we got stopped by the cops and he, he … Dev, I can’t.” She kissed his neck softly, not able to stop herself from tasting him. She still felt like she was in a dream. She had so many questions, so many things they both needed to know. But for now, all she wanted to do was lie here, feeling his body around her for the first time in a really long time.

Devin closed his eyes, lost in the feeling of Rachel’s lips pressed to his neck. He was trying to tell his body to calm down, to not react in the way it wanted. Rachel wasn’t up for his desire, his want. She just needed him there for her. He tipped her head back gently, brushing her hair back. Her face was so bruised and discolored; of course she didn’t know that yet. But she was still the most gorgeous woman he had ever laid eyes on. Her eyes searched his, and she smiled as he leaned over her, his nose touching hers.