Authors: Cheryl Wyatt
“You know I’m not. I thought you’d be happy for me. Remember we always dreamed about finding the perfect one? Well, I have.”
“I thought that about Reece’s dad, too. Look how that
turned out. Nissa, please wait. Wait at least six months before jumping into marriage. Please.”
“But he already bought me the ring. And it’s a rock. He’s loaded, Amelia, and he wants to spend it all on me. We’ve been together every day and night since we met. So I know him and he knows me.”
“What’s he do for a living?”
“Oh, er, one job is he plays in a local band.”
“What kind?”
“Um, pubs. Bars. Mostly strip clubs. Okay, look, I know it sounds bad, but at least he has a job. And lots of money.”
“Where does he get it all?”
“Uh, he says he’s in sales.”
“Oh, I’m sure he is. Did you ask him what kind?”
“No, that’s not important.”
“Not import…God have mercy.” And she meant it. Amelia tilted her head back. “What’s his middle name?”
A heavy pause. “Um, it starts with a P. I think. Oh, Amelia, you’re way too logical. For once, you should throw caution to the wind. Oops, forgot.” Giggling. “You did that once. Otherwise Reece wouldn’t be here.”
“Thanks for the reminder of my indiscretion.”
More silence. Heavier this time, which let Amelia know she hadn’t heard wrong about Nissa being with the guy every day—and night. “Nissa, please pray about this. I know we don’t often talk about God or faith, but please, consult Him before making any rash decisions. Promise me?”
“I promise. But, oh, he’s a dream!”
Heart-heavy, Amelia hung up. The dreamy lilt to Nissa’s voice dropped rocks of bewilderment in her gut. Dread settled like sludge. How would she find child care for Reece in a matter of hours if Nissa fell through?
How?
She refused to put Reece in anyone’s care without screen
ing them first. Not only that, Reece might still have the flu and be contagious. And she only had a few hundred dollars to her name. No credit. No checking account. No savings. Nothing. Which meant day care was out of the question unless they let her pay later. Fat chance. She needed this job, but things weren’t looking good.
Something deep and raw and desperate broke inside her. “For once, God, please. Give me a break.”
Ben’s heart went out to Amelia. Obviously that phone call didn’t go well. Silently praying for unflinching trust and at the risk she’d flee, he reached a hand across the car anyway and placed it on Amelia’s.
“Please help Amelia see Your hand in her life. And shine truth through to her cousin.”
And please assuage this acute distrust Amelia has of men. At least of me. I so badly want to get through to her, even if it does nothing to benefit me.
Ben strongly sensed Amelia wasn’t meant to be in St. Louis. But because a small possibility existed that she was, he thought that because he wanted her in Refuge, he couldn’t voice it again.
“Show Your goodness and heart toward her, Amen.”
Though Amelia didn’t verbally agree with his prayer, tears dripped onto her hands, which trembled during Ben’s prayer. He knew because she left it in his grasp.
Now, please help her leave her life in Yours.
Relief hit him that she prayed at all and that she’d encouraged her cousin to do the same. That meant she had a small trust in God. Maybe her weary, ragged faith was starting to turn around and run back home.
Progress. Go, God, go!
“What’s going on?” Ben asked after a few minutes, knowing from earlier tears she’d vehemently hidden from Reece, that she’d have difficulty speaking moments after the call.
“She—she, oh, I can hardly bring myself to say it. She’s making a big mistake, Ben. I know she’s going to regret it.”
“Does this affect you and Reece staying there?”
“Nissa says it won’t, but it will. Big time. She’s eloping this week. And by the sound of background racket on the phone, she’s moved her boyfriend—and his entire band—into the apartment.”
Ben’s head swerved around. “What?”
“Yeah. And I know for a fact a guy she’s been dating got her to experiment with drugs recently, because she called me when she was out of it.”
“Think it’s the same guy?”
“Kills me to think so. I think I know what he looks like from Nissa’s MySpace page. So we’ll find out when we get there if it’s the same guy.”
Ben hoped it wasn’t. But an uneasy feeling told him it was.
He placed a hand on Amelia’s shoulder. “Hey, look. If it’s as bad as it sounds, we’ll handle it. I won’t leave you on your own, okay?”
“Okay” came from her mouth while her gently trusting eyes blinked back jaded tears that begged him to mean it.
“I
t’s him.” Amelia wavered on the steps outside the slashed-up screen door she’d just knocked on. She eyed a framed photograph sitting on a bar stool. It depicted Nissa sprawled across some guy’s lap. Amelia’s face lost color. Ben braced a sustaining arm around her waist.
Through the screen, he eyed the apartment, which resembled a beer-battered frat house. Risqué pinups covered several walls. He immediately shielded Reece’s eyes by picking her up, turning her around and holding her head tight to his chest, angling away from the pictures.
Ben assessed the carnage in a room that vibrated loud music. A battered drum set filled the kitchen, leaving no room to move around. Old food, ashtrays and whiskey bottles littered every surface. Drug paraphernalia trashed the top of a guitar amp.
No way was Ben letting Reece and Amelia stay here. Hopefully Amelia would conclude that herself.
A palefaced male rolled off the stained couch. A hiss sounded as he pressed his cigarette into a beer can and stumbled toward them. “Yo. Whussup?” The guy opened the door and brushed a leering gaze up and down Amelia.
Ben stepped forward. “Nissa here?”
He scratched his head. “That Dino’s chick?”
“Where is she?” Ben asked, facing the guy.
“With Dino to get some smokes.” The guy stumbled into a bedroom, looking highly annoyed that they’d interrupted the misery of his hangover.
Amelia waved a hand over her nose, shook her head and motioned Ben back outside.
“I smelled it, too. Not your imagination,” he said, referring to both the reefer fog and old vomit. Ben secured Reece in the car and approached Amelia.
She paced across the porch. “I can’t let Reece be exposed to this.”
“Hold on.” Ben cranked the engine, turned on the air. He asked Reece to draw him a special picture and closed the car door to dim conversation.
Amelia’s eyebrows crinkled into a frown and her eye twitched. “We can’t live here. Can’t even stay five minutes.”
“I agree.” Ben moved close then stopped, wanting to hold her but holding back, afraid he would crash through the thin ice of her fragile trust.
She paced back and forth across crumbling sidewalk then over mile-high grass and weeds. The yard looked like a small forest.
“I have to look for an apartment, pronto.” She turned and sped toward his car then stopped abruptly, as if just now remembering she didn’t have her own car here.
Her countenance took a crestfallen dive. He surged forward. “Amelia, don’t worry. I’ll take you.” Hopefully Hutton would be okay at Joel’s longer. He’d done all right last night. Ben hoped it held. When Ben slipped away from Amelia one of several times to check on Hutton, Joel said Hutton could stay as long as Ben needed. He put sustaining hands on her shoulders.
She stiffened under his touch. “I can’t ask you to do that. You already said you needed to get back to Refuge.”
He did, to get Hutton, but hopefully Hutton would understand if Ben were late. “I can change my plans. However, I can’t,
won’t,
leave you and Reece here alone. This area isn’t safe. You have no business walking around here. There aren’t potential jobs close by that I saw.” He didn’t remove his hands from her.
“I know,” she whispered, looking more distraught by the second. He gently massaged her shoulders. Taut muscles relaxed under his fingers as did her stance. Finally, slightly, she leaned into him.
Progress. Thank you.
“Look, I can change my plans today and this evening.”
Please help Hutton understand.
Ben felt so torn. But he’d have lots of time with his brother later, in the ensuing weeks when Hutton moved to Refuge. He’d make it up to him.
Tears dangled from her lashes as she probed deep in his eyes. “Ben, I’m so sorry about all this.”
“No big deal.”
Please let that be so.
Hopefully Hutton wouldn’t have a meltdown. But Ben could not abandon Amelia and Reece. Being a pararescueman had trained him to do triage, and that meant assisting the one in the greatest amount of danger first.
He wished there were two of him right about now. His heart beckoned him to his brother, but his creed called him to Amelia and Reece. A sense of human decency and his personal code of ethics wouldn’t let him leave them here to fend for themselves.
It is my duty as a pararescueman to save life and aid the injured. I will be prepared at all times to perform my assigned duties quickly and efficiently, placing these duties before personal desires and comforts. These things I do, “That others may live.”
His pararescue creed meant setting his own feelings
aside. Hutton was safe at least. He couldn’t say the same for Amelia and Reece. Split by his obligations, Ben knew what he had to do.
With reluctance, he released her shoulders. “Let’s grab a paper and look for housing close to your job. Just not in this part of town.”
Her hands wrung. “I hate to do this to you, but okay. I’ll need to call my boss. Obviously I won’t be able to start this week. Hopefully he’ll be understanding. Even if we were fortunate enough to find a safe place to live this evening, I’d need more time to secure child care.”
“Maybe he’ll let you bring Reece to work with you for a few days until you find decent housing and safe child care.”
Fear accosted her features. “I’ll ask. Let’s wait here a bit to see if Nissa comes back. I’m going to try to talk sense into her or knock her silly.”
Ben smiled, knowing Amelia kidded. At least he hoped so. It’d been a long time since he’d broken up a catfight. He gestured toward his phone. “Call your boss.”
She nodded, stared at the phone, started to dial then hesitated. Wide, vulnerable eyes cited his. “Pray?”
Trapped in her gaze, Ben nodded. “I am.”
Amelia hadn’t gotten two sentences into explaining her dilemma when bursts of yelling and vulgar words interrupted.
She held back the dead phone. “He hung up on me.” She redialed. “Sir, please try to be reasonable…”
More screaming and cursing blasted from the phone.
How he’d like to get hold of that guy for speaking to a lady with those words and that tone.
Ben caught verbal remarks accusing Amelia of being un-dependable. Insinuations she was as big a flake as her cousin and he should’ve know better than to hire Nissa’s family.
Amelia’s spine stiffened. At a moment of silence, her eyes closed as she put her mouth to the phone. “Sir, please listen
a minute. I am desperate. I really need that—” Her lovely face fell. She slowly closed the phone. Convulsive swallows claimed her throat. “I’ve been fired before I ever even started.”
Good. Because he was about to grab the phone and resign her himself, then go cauterize the creep.
“I think it’s for the best. I feel God’s protecting you.”
The startled, uncertain look on her face told him she couldn’t comprehend that possibility.
Help her know You.
Ben shut Amelia’s door, then strode to the driver’s seat. As he pulled out, another car skidded to a halt in the driveway.
“That’s Nissa.” Amelia jerked the handle. Ben stopped the car. Exiting, Amelia raced purposefully to Nissa.
Ben looked back at Reece. Asleep. Bearby in one hand, colored pencil in the other. The flu and the meds must be making her doze. Reaching over the seat, Ben slipped the pencil from her fingers and set it a safe distance.
He faced the window. Obviously a heated exchange was going down between Amelia and Nissa. Not liking the venomous looks Nissa’s boyfriend threw Amelia’s way, Ben stepped from his vehicle.
The punk took one look at Ben, scuttled backward and stuffed himself into Nissa’s tin-can car. Could have been comical had it been under better circumstances.
“If you can’t see plainly why Reece and I cannot live here, Nissa, I am very concerned about you.”
Nissa flipped purplish red hair over her shoulder. “I’m sorry I ruined your plans.”
“Never mind that. You
cannot
marry this guy.”
Nissa’s arms folded. “Yes, I can.”
“Not and keep from ruining aspects of your faith and life.”
“You’re a fine one to talk about faith, Miss Sunday School dropout.”
“I didn’t reject that church. They rejected me and you know it. They judged and rejected you, too, for going Goth,
even though I tried to tell them it’s only a manner of style and that you were still the same person on the inside.”
“Well, you’re rejecting my fiancé.”
“No. I’m doing what’s prudent to keep my daughter safe. When you figure out what that means, or when your life crumbles around you, call me.”
Nissa’s eyes averted, then returned.
Amelia jabbed a finger at Nissa’s brooding fiancé. “And, if the latter happens before the first, I’ll help you pick up the pieces like you helped me when I let a guy as lame as that leave my life in a lurch.”
“You don’t know that’s gonna happen. How can you say something so mean, and curse my future before it starts?”
“How can you not see how dangerous it would be for me to bring my daughter into a drug house?”
Nissa’s eyes widened. “You don’t know it’s a drug house.”
“Then why are the bongs, burnt spoons and capless needles lying around, which could stick a child if she picked it up?”
Nissa darted looks at the ground. “Sorry. I didn’t know they’d left those things out.”
Amelia turned to go. “My point exactly. Love’s flying you First Class blind.”
Nissa clutched handfuls of her shirt. “I swear the drugs aren’t mine. Please don’t narc to the cops.”
Webbed in her cousin’s black-nailed grip, Amelia halted but didn’t turn around. “I don’t want you to go to jail. I want you to get away from this guy and this hard-core partying lifestyle before it hurts you.”
“I can’t. He loves me.”
Amelia turned. “You can find a better guy to love you.”
Nissa shrugged. “You say yourself all guys are jerks.”
“Well, I was wrong.” Amelia glanced at Ben. “Way wrong.”
“I’m happy. Okay? Can’t you be happy for me?”
Placid, Amelia shook her head. “Absolutely not. I love you too much not to tell you the truth. Look, I need to go.”
Nissa took tentative steps toward Amelia. “I’ll see you at work. Maybe we could talk over lunch?”
“No on both counts. I lost the job. Ben’s taking me to look for another one, and someplace to live.” Amelia hugged Nissa and jogged to the car. She swiped tears once they cleared the driveway. “Seems all I do is cry these days. I’m not usually this wimpy.”
“You’re not wimpy. You care about Nissa and hate to see her making grave choices.” So did he.
Amelia nodded and seemed devoid of words a moment. “Thank you, Ben. For everything. I’m overwhelmed really. I don’t even know what to say for all you’ve done.”
Just say you’ll consider my idea if things don’t work out here.
Six hours after purchasing a local paper, scouring every ad and visiting dozens of establishments, Amelia leaned against Ben’s car in a discouraged slump. “No one’s hiring without a college degree. Minimum-wage employers won’t work around Reece’s school schedule.”
“And there weren’t any affordable apartments near the ones that did.” Ben knew his words added to her defeat, but he didn’t want her contemplating trying to live on minimum wage as a single mom in the city. Many moms did, but he’d feel safer with Amelia closer. But was that for his benefit, or hers?
Ben didn’t want to put undue influence on Amelia, but it was past dinnertime and Reece was beyond tired and cranky. She needed a good rest.
He folded the paper closed. “Tell you what. Let’s stop the search for now. We’ll relax at a restaurant and talk about options.”
Defeat crumpled her face. “I don’t see that I have options. But Reece is hungry. The doctor said to try Jell-O for dinner.”
“And you need to eat, too.”
Something flared in her eyes at the words.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not trying to control your life. I’m simply trying to give you hope and help.”
“I’m beginning to think I’m a helpless, hopeless case.”
“It’s never hopeless and you’re far from helpless. Don’t think along those lines.”
“But life hasn’t shown me anything else.”
“Not yet. Life has a lot left in store for you, Amelia Grace North. And you have a lot left to offer life and the people in it.”
Her eyes grew hazy with suspicion. “Let’s go eat. I think you’re delirious from hunger.”
“Tell you what. Everything’s closing. Reece needs to recoup. You could use some rest, too,” Ben said hours after dinner, as they left another job that yielded zilch.
“I can’t. Have to keep looking.” Sheer desperation drove her now.
“We’ll get two hotel rooms in St. Louis tonight. Then resume the hunt tomorrow.” He’d arrange for someone to cover leading worship for him at church tomorrow morning.