Real Vampires Know Hips Happen (32 page)

Read Real Vampires Know Hips Happen Online

Authors: Gerry Bartlett

Tags: #Vampires

“Oh, yes. I’ve heard her on the subject.” My mother glanced at me. “It’s a common prejudice on Olympus, Gloriana. Vampires are demons, to hear the gossip.”

“Trust me, Mother. I’ve met demons. Vampires are vintage Chanel. Demons are last year’s markdowns.” I tried to put it in terms she could understand.

“Ah, I get it.” She winked at me. “I must set Circe straight, I see.”

“Whatever.” Aggie had played sweetness and light as long as she could stand. “Anyway, I caught Glory and her pal Ray the first night. Glory thinks I was going to kill her.”

“You aren’t going to rewrite history, Aggie. It was only fast talking that got us out of there. That and Ray’s singing. You always were an Israel Caine fan.” I definitely wasn’t an Ian MacDonald fan but he
had
helped Jerry so I felt I owed him a warning. “Ian, listen to me. You never saw Aggie the way she was then. A sea monster, cruel and disgusting. Are you sure you want to hook up with her or get Achelous on your case? I’ve been toe-to-toe with that guy and almost didn’t come out of it alive. I can’t tell you how long it took me to grow back my eyebrows.”

“Gloriana, we don’t need to interfere in Ian’s love life.” Jerry pulled me away from Ian. He’d probably noticed that the doctor was about to blow. Ian’s stare would have killed me if he’d had the powers some paranormals had. Of course
Jer didn’t care if Ian spent forever tied to a shrew. “Why are we here, anyway?”

“Ian asked for my help before but why should I come to his aid? I don’t owe him anything.” My mother had obviously endured my red Keds long enough. I suddenly had on cute red heels. “He decided to use you two as leverage to get what he wants. The favor you owe him, Jeremiah, is the connection he needed. I have come to terms with the fact that my daughter will do anything for you.” My mother clearly didn’t like being manipulated.

“Thank you, Mother.” I was glad that she finally got that.

“Now you say that the Storm God has hurt you, Gloriana. No eyebrows! If only I had known, you wouldn’t have suffered for even a moment.” My mother grasped my hand. “Achelous has always been an arrogant bastard. It will be fun to bring him down a few pegs. I think I’m going to enjoy this night.” She tossed her hair and looked out at the storm that still raged. “Look at his little temper tantrum. All this just because his Siren asked to be released. Ha! I can do so much better. I could make a water spout that would lift your Texas capitol building and set it in Arkansas. Would you like to see?” She turned to us, obviously eager to show off her “talents.”

“No! We’ll take your word for it, Mother.” I had to admit she was damned scary when she was worked up. “Awesome.” I made sure she knew I was impressed.

“Yes, well. He should know better than to harm my loved ones.” She stomped her foot. “You wish to no longer be a Siren, Aglaophonos?” She stepped up to Aggie, her eyes gleaming. “Do you have any idea of the consequences? You will become mortal, you know. Powers, song. Gone.”

“Yes, I do know. But Ian has promised to make me vampire.” She cuddled up against him. “So I’ll still be with him forever. And vampires have powers. I’ve seen them at work.”

“That’s illegal in Austin, Ian. Making a vampire.” I felt
it my duty to at least mention it. The vampire council had strict rules against turning new vampires. Flo’s brother Damian was head of the council. They’d already staked one vamp who’d broken that rule.

“You think I give a damn about rules? And it will be to save her life. They can make an exception. I know my way around petty officials.” Ian seemed ready for whatever came next. I pitied him. He had no idea what he might be facing. The council was the least of his worries. First, he’d have to contend with the Storm God.

“Brace yourselves, my dears. Here comes Achelous now.” My mother smiled, obviously itching for a fight. “Oh, look, he managed a tiny water spout on the lake. Huh! I could do such a one in my sleep by wiggling my pinky toe.”

The air shimmered with golden light. The French doors blew open letting in wind and rain but that all stopped suddenly when the man appeared. He strode into the room, his sandaled feet thudding against the tile.

“Come here, Siren.” He stretched out his hand and blue sparks flew from him to Aggie. She screamed and leaped away from Ian. Uh-oh. I knew just how she felt. No wonder her hair was standing on end.

“Don’t hurt him, Sire.” She threw herself down on the floor, prostrating herself at the Storm God’s feet.

“I will if I want to.” He wore the formal Olympus dress of toga with a crown of leaves on his golden hair. He zapped Ian with a bolt of lightning and we all saw the vampire jerk, his Italian leather loafers steaming.

“Still a bully, I see.” My mother strolled up to Achelous, obviously not intimidated by the shower of sparks around him or his golden glow. “Let her go, Achy. I have a bone to pick with you.”

“Oh, really?” He kicked Aggie out of the way. “Wait over there.” She slid to the side. Ian rushed to help her up but Achelous gestured and Ian was turned to stone. “Vampire, you will not touch her again. Disgusting.”

This made my mother glance back at me. I narrowed my gaze. She obviously didn’t need a reminder of my feelings on that subject because she just turned back to him.

“Mind your tongue. My own daughter is a vampiress. You will not speak ill of her.” She flashed me a smile which I returned. Progress.

“You can’t be serious. You’re claiming Gloriana? Announcing it upstairs?” Achelous laughed. “You will be a laughingstock.”

“No one will dare. You forget who I am.” My mother tossed lightning around like it was confetti and we all reeled from the pulses of electricity in the air. Since it was aimed at Achelous, he was the only one who seemed to be hurt by it. Blackened holes appeared in his toga but they disappeared with a motion of his hand.

“Calm down, my dear. It is certainly your news to share.”

“Remember that.” My mother’s eyes blazed. “This face-to-face is long overdue. I have heard what you did to my daughter, Achelous. A girl I gave to you for safekeeping centuries ago. Did you conveniently forget where she came from?” She raised both her hands and the room shook from thunder so loud that a vase fell off the mantel. Jerry and I staggered and held on to each other. I heard more glass breaking in other parts of the house. It was a reminder that I needed to be careful not to make her mad at me.

“Oh. Yes. An oversight. I am responsible for so many young women, you see. Impossible to keep straight who each one belonged to when they were dropped off.” Achelous glared at me. “You should be glad you didn’t keep her. Nothing but trouble. I don’t know who you mated with to create the girl, but big mistake, Hebe.” He raised his own hands and the skies poured rain so hard that water rushed into the house through the open doors.

“Stop. We can play with the elements all night but that doesn’t prove anything. We could also go to Zeus.” My mother smiled and I had a feeling she knew who would win
if that happened. Achelous frowned. It obviously wasn’t him. The rain stopped suddenly.

Hebe. I finally knew my mother’s name. I couldn’t wait to get to a computer and look her up. So many goddesses and each with certain powers. Hebe. What? I wracked my brain but couldn’t remember what she was famous for. Obviously she had a strong connection to Zeus, though. Achelous had almost cringed when she’d suggested going to the big boss.

“What do you want?” Achelous brushed his toga with his hand and the water on the floor evaporated. I guess he didn’t like standing in it.

“First, you will apologize to Gloriana. Then you will make sure she has her song back.” She smiled at me. “Oh, yes, I’ve heard you singing in the shower, darling. So sad.” She turned back to him. “Bastard. To strip the girl of her beautiful voice. It’s disgraceful!”

“I had to punish her. You don’t know what she was like, Hebe. She refused to kill. She was an embarrassment to the sisterhood. Ask Aglaophonos there.” He gestured and Aggie was at his feet again.

“I don’t care about that, you stupid man. You think I’d be proud of a daughter for her
kills
?” My mother walked around Aggie’s body toward me. “I am proud of her because she is beautiful and smart. Because she is not afraid to stand up to a man who tries to push her around.” She faced Achy again and thrust a pink fingernail into his toga. Achelous just stared at her heaving breasts.

He grabbed her hand. “She is like her mother in that regard. Why don’t we go somewhere private, Hebe? Where we can discuss these things to our”—he kissed her fingertips—“satisfaction.”

For a moment she seemed interested. Then she jerked her hand away. “Men! All you think about is how to talk a woman into your bed. Don’t you get enough of that sport with your harem?”

He grinned. “Never enough. And I’ll not let you talk me out of Aglaophonos. She is one of my favorites. Very clever and with one of the best kill rates in the sisterhood.” He glanced down at her. “Get up, child.” Of course she obeyed instantly. “What is this about wanting to leave me?”

“I’m sorry, Sire. But I have fallen in love. With that man.” She pointed to Ian. “I wish to be with him forever.”

“Foolish child. It is infatuation. It will pass. You are used to variety. One man forever?” He laughed. “How dull that sounds. Kill him and be done with it. That will satisfy you.” He stroked her hair. “Come with me and I’ll remind you of why I am the only man who can truly satisfy you.”

I glanced at Ian. His eyes were wild but he couldn’t move. This had to be making him crazy. If he truly loved Aggie, the idea of her as this egomaniac’s love slave…And how casually Achelous had ordered Aggie to kill Ian. Like it was no big deal. Sickening. Would Aggie do it? She didn’t move, just stood there, clearly still held in some kind of thrall to her master. Her eyes were trapped by his.

“Let her go, Achelous.” My mother touched Aggie’s shoulder. The Siren shuddered and dropped to the floor.

“What did you do to her?” Achelous roared.

“Released her from your bondage.” Mother smiled. “I am above you in rank. You owe me reparation for what you did to my daughter. I am claiming Aggie as payment. Now get out! If you complain about this to Zeus, I will tell him how you left his granddaughter in the mortal world with no protection. I’m sure Circe will back me up. We had a long chat in Olympus recently. She told me that she played a part in making sure Gloriana didn’t die a mortal’s death as you planned. Amazing, knowing how she feels about vampires, that she used one to save my daughter’s immortal life.” My mother smiled at me.

Then she whirled to stab Achelous in the chest again with her fingernail. He actually winced. “How do think your original plan will play with our king?”

Achelous’s face turned red and thunder roared. My hair
lifted and the house shook again. I recognized a Storm God temper tantrum and wished I were miles away from it. I slapped my hands over my eyebrows. A blinding lightning flash lit up the room. When it was over, Achelous was gone.

“Well, that was fun.” My mother smiled and walked up to me. “No apology to you but I’m not really surprised. Gods are so ridiculously proud. What did you think, Gloriana?”

“You were totally amazing.” I gave her what she wanted, a brief hug. “How’s Aggie?” Ian was picking her up off the floor.

“She’s dazed but seems okay.” He held her in his arms. “She’s coming around.” He pressed a finger to her neck, taking her pulse. Then he leaned in and sniffed her. “You know, she
is
a mortal now. I can’t believe it. Nice blood type, the same yet different.”

“Oh, yes. Once you’re pulled out of the Siren program, you’re mortal, defenseless.” I sank down on Ian’s damaged leather sofa. “I found out much, much later that I still had my powers. But she may not. Mine came from my goddess connection—thanks, Mother. Aggie, well, who knows how she got dropped into the Siren program? Mother, maybe you can find out who left her there.”

“I don’t know. Achelous keeps the records. I doubt we’re speaking.” She smiled and ran a finger down the neckline of her low-cut dress. “Though I’m not without means of persuasion.”

I tried to block that picture from my mind. “When are you going to make her vampire, Ian?”

He just stood there. “I don’t know. She isn’t really awake yet and no wonder. That Storm God. I’ve never seen anything like him.” He shook his head like he was coming out of a fog. “I’m taking her to the bedroom. As to the vampire thing…Mortal blood. I’m in no hurry.” He stalked off down the hall.

“Once a bastard, always a bastard.” Jerry sat down next to me. “I hope Aggie gets her immortality before she’s an old lady.”

“Perhaps she’d be better off without the transition.” My mother sat across from me.

“Don’t start. I was actually feeling happy with you for a moment there. You handled Achelous really well. Thanks for standing up for me, Hebe.” I grinned. “And now I know your name. Are you going to tell me your area of expertise, or do I have to go to the Internet for answers? You can’t imagine how many conflicting stories I’ll get on there. You might want to give me the straight scoop.”

Jerry picked up my hand. “She claims you’re Zeus’s granddaughter? If I had good sense, I’d be intimidated, Gloriana.”

“You should be.” Mother frowned at him. “Gloriana really should make a visit up there. Be introduced around. It never hurts to have important allies. Of course Achelous was right about one thing, being a vampire will be seen by many as a negative, but she
is
my daughter. It will be overlooked. If she gets in a bind here, she can call on some of the gods and goddesses for help. Mars has already agreed to come to her aid.”

“Really? Now, why would he do that?” Jerry was interested.

“I’ll tell you later. You’re stalling, Mother. What are your powers?” I leaned against Jerry, finally realizing that it was kind of cool to be related to a genuine goddess from Olympus.

“Very well. I am known as the goddess of youth. Zeus is my father, Hera is my mother. I am also the goddess of pardons.” She smiled. “That’s why so many of the gods seek me out for favors. Naughty men frequently need my services.” She brushed back her hair which had been blown about by Achy’s temper fit. “Oh, I must be a mess!” She pulled out a compact and brush. “Dealing with temperamental males can be such a trial.”

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