Authors: Leigh Greenwood
Abruptly Nathan’s body went rigid, his strokes became irregular, his harsh breath came in quick, uneven gasps. Instinctively Delilah’s muscles clamped down on him, trying to absorb him deep within her. Then, from her core, she felt a wave of sweet agony grip her body, turning it inside out as waves of pleasure rolled over her, tossing her upon stormy swells until she felt she could stand no more. She held tight to Nathan as she drifted to the edge of consciousness.
He groaned aloud as the exquisite pleasure of repeated explosions racked him, giving his body, so long denied, its natural release. Firmly in the coils of the most intense consummation in his life, Nathan was helpless until the spasms of pleasure had run their course.
Then, gradually, they both relaxed and lay still.
Delilah and Nathan remained in each other’s arms without speaking long after their breathing had returned to normal and their hearts had calmed in their breasts. To speak would have been to break the spell which, sheltering them in its care, allowed them this short, precious time together.
Time. She had so little time to tell him what this day meant to her, to explore the body which seemed to be the other half of her own. She had stolen surreptitious glances for months, but how little she actually knew of the body that had so recently worshiped her own.
Nathan was so unlike Reuben. The two men were equally tall, but Reuben was built for strength. Thick, powerful shoulders and legs gave him the look of a Goliath, while Nathan reminded her of a fine carriage horse. He was tall and strong of limb, but lean. His chest was broad and powerful, yet his waist was greyhound slim.
And he wasn’t hairy like Reuben. As her hands traveled over Nathan’s limbs, she was glad his skin wasn’t marred by rough hair. Just a light sprinkling in the center of his chest and around his navel highlighted the wonderful smoothness of his flesh.
There was something powerfully exciting about exploring a man’s body intimately. It was as though she had been allowed to pass through a barrier which kept out every other person in the whole world. She alone, no one but Delilah Stowbridge, would be allowed to run her hands over Nathan’s torso, to gently massage the muscles in his shoulders until he moaned with contentment.
It was almost as though she owned him. No, that was wrong. He had made her a gift of himself. What an awesome demonstration of faith, the act of surrendering oneself to another. Odd, Delilah didn’t think it so incredible that she should have done the same for Nathan. That seemed natural. But that he should have done it for her!
She could hardly believe it was happening.
Her hand slipped down Nathan’s side, over his hip, and around his buttocks. She didn’t know what it was about this part of his anatomy that aroused her so, but even now she could feel her nipples begin to harden. She brought her hand forward over his hip but Nathan intercepted it and guided it gently to the safer region of his stomach.
Delilah melted into his embrace. The feel of his warm skin against her sensitive nipples was almost as exciting as the feel of his lips and tongue had been a short while before. She pulled away just a little. She wasn’t ready for another round of such passion as they’d experienced. She wanted to lie still and absorb as much of his nearness as possible. She would always welcome his love, but her soul received its richest nourishment from these moments of quiet.
She traced his jaw with the tip of her finger. His skin was so clear, so closely shaven; his chin was so strong. And his lips were soft, just moist enough for them to catch on her finger. That tickled his lips, and she smiled when he twisted away.
His hair fascinated her too. Every man she knew wore it long and gathered at the back with a ribbon. Nathan’s thick, blondish-brown hair was cut so short it barely touched his collar. She combed it with her fingers. Next to her nearly raven tresses, his locks looked lighter than ever.
She took his face between her hands. Would she ever tire of looking at him? Would this time together be enough to last her through all the empty years ahead? A tiny sob broke from her throat.
Nathan propped himself on an elbow. “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head and nestled in the crook of his arm, trying to recapture the mood, but his words had broken the spell.
Delilah sat up and reached for her dress. “You have to go. Reuben and Jane will be home soon.”
Nathan pulled her back down next to him. “Not yet.”
He tossed her dress aside, but she picked it up again. The moment was irretrievable.
Nathan made no attempt to convince her to come back to bed. Maybe he could tell from the way she put on her clothes that she wouldn’t change her mind. He began to dress as well.
“When can I come again?”
Delilah kept her back to him. “You can’t,” she said, softly. “We can never do this again.”
“Then why did you—”
“I don’t know” She turned to face him. “Yes, I do. I wanted something of you I could remember, something I didn’t have to share with anyone else, something to remember when you’re gone.”
“Delilah–”
“Don’t say anything, please,” she begged, cutting him off again.
“I was just going to offer you a job,” Nathan said.
“A job?” Delilah asked, taken completely by surprise. “I need someone to supervise the flax spinning. I’ve got weavers now as well. Mrs. Wheaton doesn’t like the responsibility.”
Delilah almost jumped at the chance to have a legitimate reason to see Nathan. Not even Reuben could object to her going to Maple Hill if she had a job.
But she couldn’t do it. And not because of Reuben or Jane. Because of herself. Being around Nathan regularly, knowing she could never be anything more than his lover, would tear her apart. Better to have nothing to remember than something she would someday come to regret. “I can’t.”
“Is it because of Reuben?”
“No. It’s because of me. You don’t understand, do you?”
He shook his head.
Why couldn’t he see it? Didn’t anybody in England ever fall truly in love? “I can’t be around you and know we can never be more than lovers.”
“I want to marry you.”
“But you also think I betrayed you.”
“Not anymore. I don’t know what happened to me that night – sometimes I think I lost my mind – but I don’t believe you betrayed me.”
Delilah’s elation was short-lived. She could see that, as much as he
waited
to believe she was innocent, he would never be completely sure she was telling the truth until he could prove it to himself.
Still, she had hope now. Nathan loved her and wanted to believe her. That was more than she’d had when she’d gotten up this morning. It might be enough if she was smart enough to figure out how to make Hector or Priscilla admit what they had done. She didn’t know whether she could do it, but she was going to try.
In the meantime, she couldn’t keep seeing Nathan. She had no willpower where he was concerned. If she gave into him again, she wouldn’t be able to refuse him after that. Then, if he didn’t marry her, she would despise herself.
“When you’ve proved to your satisfaction what I said was true, offer me the job again.”
“At least let me give you some money.”
That made her angry.
“I don’t need your money,” she said scornfully. “I won’t be kept by any man.”
“I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Then what did you mean?”
Nathan gestured to the crude, bare cabin. “You must have very little. I could help. Mrs. Stebbens cooks more food than we can use, and there’s much more in the storage rooms.”
“Thanks for the offer, but now that Reuben’s debt is paid, we have enough for our needs.”
Not until Nathan’s face registered hurt and bewilderment did Delilah realize how cold and hostile she’d sounded. But she couldn’t have felt otherwise. To have Nathan treat her family like a charity case shocked and embarrassed her. It also infuriated her.
“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I just thought since I have so much–”
“And we have so little, you’d give us some of it,” she finished for him. “Thank you, but Reuben and Jane would choke on anything from your hand.”
She regretted her words the moment they were out of her mouth. The fact that they were true didn’t make it any easier.
“You’d better go before I say anything else,” she said, going to the door and holding it open for him. “Besides, if you stay much longer, someone is bound to come by.”
“You won’t let me see you again?”
“If you love me, you won’t ask it of me.”
He looked so hurt, so downcast, Delilah kept to her resolution only with difficulty. But as she watched him walk away, she wondered if she could stand not seeing him again. She had loved him for months, but the hour she’d spent in his arms had united them even more deeply than any promise made with words ever could. He had become as essential to her as her own body.
“Governor Bowdoin has ordered up forty-four hundred militia from the eastern counties,” Lucius told Nathan. “They have orders to start for Springfield on the seventeenth. Even in this bitter cold, they ought to be here in three days.’
Nathan had to pull his mind away from thoughts of Delilah to answer Clarke. He had been back three times, but she had not seen him since that day before Christmas. Once Jane had told him she wasn’t there. The other times he’d been told Delilah didn’t want to see him. It had taken all of Nathan’s control to keep him from forcing his way into the house.
“You’re going to have to declare yourself,” Lucius said.
“What do you mean?”
“Come up with some money to help pay the militia,” Asa Warner explained. “The legislature isn’t in session so the governor can’t get any money. If the militia comes, we have to pay for it.”
“It’s already coming,” Lucius said.
“And if I don’t agree to pay anything?”
“You’ll be marked down as supporting the regulators,” Noah Hubbard said, malicious pleasure gleaming in his eyes.
A sudden inspiration made Nathan smile right back. “Put me down for the exact amount as Noah.”
He almost laughed at the reaction. Lucius looked embarrassed, Noah turned red with rage, and Asa Warner tried to hide his amusement.
“How much do I owe, Lucius?”
“I haven’t paid my full amount yet,” Noah said before Lucius could answer. He directed a look of pun hatred at Nathan. “I’m short just now.”
“I’m a little short myself,” Nathan admitted. “I’ll pay when Lucius shows me a receipt for your payment.”
“The governor appointed Major General Benjamin Lincoln to command the militia,” Lucius said before anyone could say anything else. “He commanded troops in the War of Independence. He’s …”
But Nathan’s thoughts were far from General Lincoln and his qualifications to command the militia. He was thinking about how this would affect Delilah and her family. And how that would affect her relationship with him. No matter which way he looked at it, it could only make things worse.
It wouldn’t matter that these were a lot of strangers from across the state. If Nathan supported them and they shot at Delilah’s family, that would be the same as if he held a musket himself.
It wouldn’t matter if he never paid a cent toward the cost of the militia. He would be held as accountable as any of the other River Gods. Nor would it matter that he had counseled caution from the first or that he’d gone out of his way to help dozens of his debtors. He would be as guilty as the rest.
He cursed.
Nathan turned over, slammed his fist into the pillow, and tried to get comfortable once again. He had been restless ever since Delilah left, but he was having more trouble sleeping tonight than usual. And the mice on the third floor were making it harder. He’d meant to remember to tell Lester to set some traps, but every time he’d thought of the floor above, his mind had focused on Delilah and the mice had gone completely out of his head.
The noise was much worse tonight. In fact, it sounded as though rats were up there. That was an unpleasant thought. A few field mice always found their way into a house during the winter. You got a cat or set traps. Either way they were no problem. But rats. That was something else again. He’d see about it tomorrow.
He turned over once more, but he was even less sleepy than before. Now the possibility of rats in the house was keeping him awake.
“Damnation,” he said as he lunged out of bed. He might not be able to do anything about Delilah’s absence, but he could do something about the rats.
Nathan pulled on a pair of stout boots, wrapped himself in a thick dressing gown, and lighted a candle with a hurricane globe. Search as he might, he could find nothing to use as a weapon. He then remembered the walking stick which had lain unused in the bottom of his trunk since he’d left London. It took only a minute to find it. Thus armed, he ascended to the upper story to do battle with any rodent so unwise as to expect to live out the winter on his bounty.
But as Nathan’s gaze reached the level of the third floor, he froze on the stairs, one foot about to be set down on the next step. A light came from under the door of Delilah’s room.
Nathan considered returning to his room for a pistol. Instead he blew out the candle, set it down on the step, and took a two-fisted grip on his walking stick. Being extremely careful not to make the slightest sound, he climbed the last eight stairs. He tiptoed across the landing to Delilah’s door and listened intently, but the noise had stopped. Light still came from under the door, but there was complete silence in the room. With a quick, decisive movement, Nathan turned the knob and threw open the door.
Hector Clayhart sat up on Delilah’s bed with a start.
He stared at Nathan with a half-expectant, half-surprised look. He wore a nightshirt. Obviously he’d intended to spend the night in Delilah’s room.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Nathan demanded, entering the small chamber.
“H-how did you find me?” Hector asked.
Nathan’s expression relaxed. “I thought I heard a rat. I was about to beat you to death with my cane”