Rebirth - The Beautiful Fallen (31 page)

             
“Just stop that.  You’re only looking at her because you want to suspect her.” Chris told him.  He then looked back at me and Saffron.  “So what can be done now if we don’t know who this is?” he continued.

             
“There’s nothing that can be done, aside from getting rid of all three, which obviously isn’t yet an option.  Not to mention that Zane and Will are valuable commodities to us right now for their skills and talents.  Until we can figure out which one of them it is, we’ll just have to keep our guard up.” Jade told him.

             
“Although this may provide us with good opportunity as well to finally be rid of Judiel for good.” Saffron added.

             
“That’s a bold statement Saffron.” Jade said.

             
“Indeed.  But you and I have both spoken of perhaps taking him out once and for all several times now.  If he goes, then the Fallen Children won’t be hunted for a good deal of time.  He’s the driving force there.  Not to mention it would settle old grudges, wouldn’t you agree?” Saffron went on, a slight smile crossing his face.  He looked awful pleased now with his thoughts of vengeance.

             
“And there’s your psychopathic tendencies speaking once again.  You and I both know the risk involved in such a thing, even if we hold our own grudges against him in particular.  Not only could they easily replace him, but us eliminating him could also bring about another war as well due to the birth of those so called clans.  I am not looking to have this entire race wiped out because of that, especially not my own.” Jade told him.

             
“And neither would I.  After all, this is my most precious possession as well.” Saffron said, running his fingers through the back of my hair again.  “However, with all points taken, it would be a shame if we became careless now.  Especially after all of the energy we’ve invested into creating these revolutionary children.”

             
Chris looked away from us again.  I couldn’t help but note that he looked disgusted.  I didn’t doubt that he really didn’t like Saffron calling me a possession.  But he didn’t say anything to it either.  Instead, Jade spoke up again.  “By the way, I will admit as well that you’ve been rather crafty in all of this.  You made sure that you did anything and everything in your power to keep this girl from me while she grew.  Were you really that concerned about what I might do once I found her again?” he asked quietly.

             
“Not at all.  I simply needed the time bought for what I predicted would happen.  Besides, I’d say it worked to both our benefits, wouldn’t you?” Saffron said.

             
“I won’t argue things that much, considering that you could not manipulate
that
part of it.  But I can’t say I’m too happy over it either.” Jade replied.

             
“You can’t change it, and you know it.  Neither of us have it in us to do so.  Besides, I think they make a good match.  Don’t you darling?” Saffron said, glancing back over at me.

             
“Don’t you drag me into this.” I said quietly.  No, he was not going to make me admit how much I loved Chris in front of Jade.  Over my dead body.  But as I thought that, I kind of hoped that he wouldn’t make arrangements for that one day either if I kept trying to defy him.

             
Chris just frowned at him, speaking up before Jade could.  “You both can dictate things as much as you want, but that doesn’t mean we’ll always have to bend to them.  Even the ones like us are born with mostly free will.” He said.

             
“Indeed.  But Fallen Children also have something that we as their parents don’t, and that’s the human element of emotional feeling.” Saffron told him.

             
“Emotional feeling?” I repeated, looking back over at him.

             
“Indeed.  That is the truth with us.  Whether we think we’ve formed an attachment or not, we can never truly understand it emotionally.  Corruption of the soul is complete to the mind for the Fallen who are cast into the Abyss.  We can believe that we treasure something, but it doesn’t stop us from treating it just like any other object.  And it doesn’t always stop us from lashing out at it either whenever we lose ourselves to the madness hidden deep within our minds.  As far as the Fallen go, Jade and I are quite well balanced at this point.  But many are not.  Corruption itself is indeed a form of insanity.  I know you’ve seen that with Astaroth, and eventually, it may be seen with us again.” Saffron explained, giving me that same smile that he always did.

             
I saw a slight smile cross Jade’s face as well with Saffron’s words.  “It’s all very true.  But you already knew that, didn’t you Chris?” he said, actually sounding amused now.

             
“The scar on my back is enough to prove that, you homicidal bastard.” Chris growled.

             
“Ah, so you’ve attacked your favorite at least once Jade?  I’m surprised.  You must have been pretty angry about something to lose yourself like that.” Saffron noted.

             
“That is none of your concern, and it’s eons in the past at this point.” Jade told him.  “More to the point of all of this, I don’t think I appreciate what you’ve managed to instate here between your own and mine.  While I admit to the fact that neither of us have any power to cause this, I can’t say I’m comfortable with the connection shared either.  After all of this time, I know better than to trust you with anything.  And I’ve seen what happens with some of the more powerful Shadow Wings.”

             
“Ariana will not lose herself like some of those others.  She and Christoff are different.  You and I both know that.” Saffron said without any hesitation.

             
“So you say.  But only time will tell that as well.  She’s still very young.  And given the circumstances of her birth, and you in particular, you cannot say anything for certain.  Neither you nor Faith Kent were anywhere near that well-grounded.” Jade commented.

             
I had to sigh to myself.  Nothing like saying that I was going to turn into a psycho one day.  But then again, I wasn’t about to let Jade get away with that one either.  Not with Saffron there to protect me.  Or, at least, I hoped he would if I needed him to.  “Look, I don’t really understand anything about what I am either right now.  But I’m not looking to lose my mind, and I don’t appreciate anyone telling that I’m going to.  I am who I am now, and nothing you or anybody else says going to change that.  And besides, Chris is right.  Just because the two of you think you can go around and dictate everything with us doesn’t mean that you really can.  We both still have our free will.” I told them.

             
“And that’s enough for us to be fine.  So if you’ll excuse us, you can work out those 'issues' between yourselves without us now.  It may just be safer if you decide to get into another fight.  But take it outside if you do.  I’m the one who’ll have to listen to Zane about his house being destroyed if you don't.” Chris said, standing back up.  He then walked over and offered me a hand to help me up.  And this time, I didn’t refuse it.  In fact, I felt myself smile as I took his hand.  This felt familiar again.  I finally had my Chris back.

             
Saffron nodded as he watched me stand up with Chris.  “Very well.  Then you can go ahead and have her back for the night.  I’m sure you’ll be seeing us soon enough.” He said.

             
I nodded back at him.  “Okay.  Goodnight then.” I told him.

             
“Enjoy your night darling.” Saffron replied.  I couldn’t help but think that he looked even less like a fallen angel now.  Not with the gentle smile he was giving me.  Jade himself didn’t say anything.  He just brushed us off with a wave of his hand.

             
I couldn’t say that I felt that comfortable walking out of there and leaving those two alone, but at the same time, I knew they had to somehow settle things between themselves as well.  Even if it meant tearing each other apart then patching themselves up again.  And nothing we could do, including keeping our presences there, would change anything that happened.  It may have only gotten us hurt in the end.  Still, I had to shake my head as I considered everything I was coming to learn about the two of them, and how they'd even acted around each other.  That civil yet spiteful way they spoke, and even looked at each other.  They must have had one of the most complicated relationships in history…

             
“Well, at least one good thing came with him showing up here.  I didn’t have to keep fighting angels.” Chris admitted as the two of us walked up the stairs.

             
“So have you fought them before this?” I had to ask.  Obviously, he’d lived a long time by now.  That much I'd known to be true.  Perhaps he’d even had to fight them on his own once or twice.

             
“Not really.  I’ve taken on one or two lower than that before, but it’s been a long time.  Usually I just left it to Jade to deal with them, just like when I was a kid.  It always let him get out his aggressions without turning on me again.  But then again, killing something like them has always given him a sick pleasure.  I try not to think about it too much because it’s kind of disturbing.” Chris admitted.

             
I found myself looking down, thinking about what they’d said in there about Jade attacking him.  That seemed a bit extreme, but at the same time, it sadly made a little bit of sense.  Obviously, demons weren’t that stable.  And considering what I’d seen with Zane and Astaroth, the relationships between them and us as their children may have even been deadly more often than not.  It forced me to speak up.  “So, you and Jade weren’t getting along because he attacked you before?” I guessed.

             
“No, actually, it was something a little more than that.  But it’s taken me this long to actually trust him again after that one too.  I know it really wasn’t completely his fault, but I’m also not a punching bag either.  And it took the better part of three weeks for my back to heal at all because of it.  Being laid up isn’t exactly my thing.” Chris explained.

             
I felt myself smile at those last words.  “I could see that.” I said.

             
But as we came into the hallway upstairs, the two of us stopped.  To my surprise, he turned and faced me.  “Also, there is something I think I need to say too, since it’s just the two of us.” He added.

             
I tilted my head a little, feeling confused now.  I hadn’t seen Chris look nervous before, although he apparently was.  “What do you mean?” I asked him.

             
For a moment, he was quiet.  But he seemed to be thinking hard about what he wanted to say.  “Look, I know that I’m not that great with others.  I’ve told you about that before, but I feel like I need to say it again.  And I really didn’t mean to just take off on you like that the other day, or say those things I said.” He finally said.

             
I just stared at him for a moment.  Was he trying to apologize for our fight over Zane?  I couldn’t quite believe it.  “You mean what you said after we came back from that whole thing with Zane’s father?” I clarified.

             
“Yeah.  That.  Listen, I didn’t really mean what I said when I told you that it always fell on me to protect you, or that you should just go back with your dad.  I’ve always protected you because I love you, and I know it wasn’t really fair to take it out on you because I got frustrated about not being there.” Chris explained.

             
“But Zane still protected me.  He didn’t let me get hurt or anything.  You said yourself that he’s really strong.  You really didn’t trust him about it?” I asked him.  It took me a moment to process what else he’d said though. 
Because I love you
.  I instantly felt the blush creep to my cheeks, though I tried hard to hide it from him.

             
“Yeah, but that’s not really the point of what I’m saying either.  It just seems like every time I let you out and away from me, something bad happens to you.  And after that whole thing with Norma, I kind of feel paranoid.  I really pressed my luck there, and you ended up being badly hurt because of it.  And seeing you covered in black demon blood like you were when you came back here, I couldn’t help but kind of lose it and get mad at him and myself.  I should’ve gone.  If he’d managed to kill Zane that time, then who knows what might've happened to you…” Chris admitted.

             
I don’t think I would’ve ever imagined seeing him look this unsure of himself.  In fact, he was even starting to struggle a little with what he wanted to say.  This was a far cry from the arrogant, strong man I’d come to know in the last month or so.  But at the same time, it made me smile.  Chris actually did get insecure.

             
He was closer to human then I'd taken him for.

             
“You know, I guess I could get that.  But you can’t protect me from everything either.  And it’s not like I’ve ever blamed you for what happened with Norma.” I said, holding his hands.