Rebound (Pro-U Book 3) (8 page)

Chapter 14

Natasha

I went through the morning classes in a haze over everything going on in my life. Having Emily to talk to the night before made things better, but I felt like shit for not responding to Micah's text. He had to think I was an asshole, which just left me more confused over what I wanted from him.

A friendship. Nothing more than a friendship to start.

I walked through the center of the campus and stopped in front of the gym. I had two hours until I planned to meet up with my friends for lunch. It was just enough time to practice my free throws and work up a good sweat, shower and get up to the cafeteria. Why they enjoyed the bland food they served up there was beyond me, but I went for the company, though I'd spend the whole time pretending to be put off by everyone. It was my lot in life, or so it seemed.

I reached for the door to the gym as my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out to see that my mother was calling. Ice water raced through my veins and the world seemed to slow down around me. It took me a few seconds to think through whether I wanted to answer it. Guilt would kill me later for not picking it up.

"Hey," I mumbled into the phone and turned to face the sun, needed something to warm me up.

"Tasha. I'm sorry to bother you, but-" She paused and the muffled sound on the other end of the phone was the sound someone would make when vomiting.

"Mom? Where are you?" Panic raced through me, and I forgot about how much I hated her. Everything inside of me screamed for me to get to her as fast as I could.

"I'm at the hospital." She groaned softly. "I need someone to come get me in an hour. I tried to call a cab, but the nurse wouldn't-" She paused again to throw up.

I cringed and turned to jog toward my dorm room. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes. What room are you in?"

"I'll be in the waiting room on the first floor. I don't want you to miss class. I can wait until-" She paused again. The sound of her vomiting just got worse and worse. My heart shuddered in my chest as tears burned my eyes. Why did she have to be sick and us be on bad terms? Why couldn't my story have a different ending, or at least a different beginning?

"I'm headed that way. Hang in there." I dropped the call and tucked my phone into my back pocket as bile rose up my throat. I hadn't spoken to her in a few days, and knew I should have been calling every day, but she didn't want anything to do with me. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her more when she was already hurting so bad.

I made it to my dorm and walked into the room, stopping in my tracks and yelping. I spun around and pressed my hands to my lips. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were in here."

"It's okay. I'm sorry." Emily's voice was tight with embarrassment.

"It's all good, Tasha. We should have texted you." Jacob sounded normal, which didn't surprise me much.

I took a few steps back and tried to unsee the sight of them fucking on Emily's old bed. Where I wanted to let arousal have its way with me, I was too lost in my pain. I grabbed my keys off the chain and walked toward the door.

"It's okay. No worries." I brushed my tears away and opened the door, stopping only as Em called out.

"Tasha. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'll find you later. I'm okay. You guys are good. Seriously." I walked out of the dorm room and made my way down the hall to the exit. I would have given anything to have a normal life like Emily had. She was poor and her shit was messed up where her mother was concerned, but nobody was dying. "Stop it."

I berated myself all the way out to the car and halfway to the hospital. Emily had nothing and no one. Her mom was a drunk that was headed into rehab and her father was long gone. Her little sister was turning out to be no better than their mother and Brody was all she had in the way of help for the last few years. If anyone had a shitty situation, it was Emily.

By the time I parked the car outside of the hospital, I felt a little better. No much, but enough to pull my ass out of the car and walk up to the big grey building before me. I wanted to text Micah so badly and ask him to come help me get through the day, but it wasn't fair. We barely knew each other and me opening the gates and letting all my shit flood out would do me no favors. He was a nice guy from what I could tell, but that would be over as soon as he realized some of the secrets my past held within it. If that didn't do me in, him finding out that I hated my mother with an intensity that would scare most people would surely turn him away.

"Funny how you're scared as hell to lose the person you hate most," I mumbled under my breath and tried to steel myself for what was to come. She would be brash and hateful with me, but it was just her way of defending herself against feeling anything. I got it. I hated it, but I understood it. Today would be one of those days where I did what she needed me to and refused to fight against her if she lashed out. I could get through it, and afterward I would go back to my dorm room, kick everyone out and drown my sorrows in a bottle of vodka and a hot bath.

"Thanks for coming." My mother stood from the chair she was in only to sit back down. With her hair gone and her skin pasty and pale, she looked nothing like the woman I'd grown up with. If it wasn't for her piercing blue eyes, I'd have walked right by her.

"She needs a wheelchair, but she's being difficult." A large nurse moved up beside me pushing a wheelchair. "I told her she's not leaving here until she gets her skinny ass in the chair."

My mom chuckled and let out an exhausted sounding sigh. "I'll get in it if you'll shut up already."

The nursed chuckled. "As always, Delilah. Get in the chair and I'll quietly push you out to the parking lot."

"In front of a moving car, please." My mother lifted her hand and pulled at the scarf that lay loosely around her neck.

"Let me help." I moved in and half-expected her to pop my hands away, but she closed her eyes and let her shoulders roll in.

"I'm so tired. Please just get me home and I'll leave you alone."

I glanced over my shoulder, hurt by the angry look in the nurse’s eyes. I never said anything about her leaving me alone, but trying to explain myself to a stranger would do me no good.

"Do you need me to-" I started to ask the nurse if she needed help only to be cut off by her barking at me.

"No. You've done enough. Move and let me get her in the chair. You sure you're okay putting yourself out for a few minutes to get her home? Can we trust you to put her to bed or is that too much to ask?" She moved around me, giving me a scathing look that my mother would most likely applaud at.

"Of course I'll get her to bed. I never-"

"She's not a monster, Debbie. She's just a young adult with things to do. Stop being a bitch and get me in the chair." My mom lifted her arms to hover above her waist as Debbie moved in to pick her up. It was sickening to see the woman who used to leap higher than I could in the air bent over with sickness. How she'd gotten so bad so quickly was something I wanted an answer to, but something told me that I would have to get my father more involved to find out anything.

I followed behind the nurse and pointed to my car without saying another word. There was no reason to get the big bitch started on me again. She had no clue of my history with my mom, or how much I was hurting over seeing her bent over in a wheelchair, looking more like death than I'd ever seen anyone look.

I got into the car and started it as I waited for Debbie to finish getting my mom strapped in. I would have done everything the nurse had if my mom would have let me near her. I pulled away from the hospital and swallowed my tears.

We didn't speak a word all the way to her house, nor when I parked the car and walked up to unlock the door. I pushed it open and turned to walk back toward the car. She wasn't going to like the idea of me toting her into the house, but I had to hope that she was weak enough not to fight me over it. There was no way she was walking into the house in her current state. I'd heard of chemo or radiation making people sick a few days after taking it, but my mother looked like hell. Why was she having such a hard time with it? Was it because she was alone and had nothing to live for?

"Mom. I'm going to carry you into the house. You want to go into your bedroom?"

"Yes," she whispered hoarsely and slumped against me as I picked her up and moved back, closing the door to the car with my foot. She wasn't any heavier than a small child might be. My heart broke and the agony of wanting to be in a different place with her left me emotionally crippled as I walked into her beautiful cream-colored home.

I tucked her into bed and pulled the covers up as she rolled onto her side and groaned loudly.

"What can I get you? You want me to-"

"No. I'm fine. Just leave a-" she panted softly. "Just leave water on the night stand. Thank you."

"I can stay for the night, Mom. That way I can make sure you're okay." I reached out and let my hand hover above her shoulder as tears dripped down my face.

She didn't respond and fear wrapped around my lungs, sucking the air from the room. I leaned over and listened for the sound of her breathing. It was shallow and labored, but she was breathing.

"God, please don't let this happen. Please?" I turned and walked toward the kitchen. I couldn't go. There was no way I could leave her like that, though I wanted to run to the ends of the earth and find a new life to live. Anything but mine.

I pulled my phone out and texted Emily, hoping to get a quick response. Nothing.

After getting a glass of water and walking back to the living room, I figured I had nothing to lose by calling Micah. I needed someone and the worst he could do was turn me down. It wouldn't have mattered much. Nothing could leave me feeling more empty than I did in that moment.

Fuck my dad for leaving her when I was born. Fuck him for not manning up and giving both of us a life that meant security and love.

"Hey. Where you at?" Micah's voice was filled with warmth.

Mine was a frail whisper. "I'm at my mom's house. Can you-" I glanced up as tears stung my tired eyes.

"Tasha? What's going on? You okay?"

"My mom's dying. I'm here at her house by myself." I tried like hell to hold back the sob that slipped from my lips. "Can you find Em for me?"

"Yeah, but text me the address. I'm headed that way."

"No. It's okay." I pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose and let out another soft sob. "I don't wanna bother you."

"It's no bother. Text me the address and save me some time. I'll be right there with something to cheer you up, okay?"

I nodded and forced myself to respond through my tears. "Okay. Thank you."

"Of course. Hang tight, sweetie. I'll be there in a few minutes."

Chapter 15

Micah

My heart was hammering in my chest as I drove to the address on the rich side of Providence. I wasn't at all surprised that Professor McCraven lived in a big white house on a hill. The only question was why Tasha didn't live with her. The house wasn't more than a ten-minute drive from campus, and it was far nicer than the dorms Tasha was living in.

I pulled around back and parked next to Tasha's little red car. I'd made a quick stop by the strip center down the road and grabbed a pepperoni pizza and a few chick flicks from the red box outside. I wasn't sure what part I was supposed to play that night, but anything she needed from me, she was getting. The pain in her voice caused my heart to contract painfully in my chest, leaving me with the conclusion that she meant more than I was giving her credit for. It was inevitable that my earlier thoughts about hanging out until she kicked me out where solidified. Somewhere along the last two years, she'd stolen a bit of my heart. Damn her for it, but it was what it was now.

I got out and grabbed the pizza and the movies before walking up to the back door of the house. She was sitting on a large white ottoman with her elbows pressed to her knees and her face in her hands. I knocked on the door and backed up a little as nerves tore up my insides. I wasn't used to girls crying around me. The need to offer her comfort to cheer her up left me working through a million things that I could say or do, but none of them seemed right.

She opened the door and gave me a weak smile. "Thanks for coming. I feel stupid for asking."

"You didn't ask." I smiled down at her and walked in, setting the pizza and movies down on the large dining room table behind her. The place smelled like clean floors and cherries. It was an odd combination, but something about it was comforting was well. "I invited myself, remember? I'm pushy like that."

"Well, either way. Thank you." She moved toward me as I turned and opened my arms to her.

"Come here." I pulled her close to me and leaned down to kiss the top of her head as she molded herself to the front of me. "What's going on with your mom? I promised myself I wouldn't ask, but you bringing up that she was dying is a little much to ignore."

"She's got cancer." She let out a shaky sigh and pulled away from me.

My first instinct was to reach out and pull her back against me, but I knew better. She needed more space than anyone else I'd met at Providence, but there was a reason behind it all. Something told me that I would be finding out more about her than I could possibly want to if I had the patience to let everything unfold as it wanted to without forcing it.

"I'm sorry." I sat down at the dining room table and waited until she returned with two paper plates to open the pizza box. "You okay with me bringing this in here?"

"Yeah, I think so. I closed her door, so I'm not sure what smells or sounds might affect her. She's pretty out of it." She ran her fingers through her short locks and sat down in the chair in front of me. "I'm really sorry to have bothered you."

"I want you to reach out to me, Tasha. I want a friendship with you, remember? This is part of that." I took the plate from her and put a piece of pizza on it. "Let's eat something and then we can sit on the couch and talk if you want to. If not, we'll just watch a movie and hang out. Whatever you want to do. That's what I'm here for."

"Really?" Her eyes shifted from my face down to her plate. "And if I need someone to hold me?"

"Then I have two arms. Consider them yours, just watch out for my wrist." I smiled as she glanced up. "The damn thing isn't healing like it should."

"Oh no. What does that mean?"

"Basically that I need to learn to do a little more with my left hand." I shrugged. "Good thing I'm ambidextrous."

"You can use both hands?" She took a small bite of her pizza and searched my face.

"For most tasks, yeah." I winked and let out a short laugh as she blushed. "Sorry. I'll try not to flirt too much. I know you're going through some shit right now."

"No, it's good. Flirt away. Please. Help me not think about this any more than I already have to." She set her plate down and leaned back in her chair. "The worst part is that I really don't know much of anything. She hasn't told me a damn thing other than the fact that she has cancer and she's dying. I don't know what kind of cancer or how long she has or when she needs her treatments or what she eats."

I set my plate down and leaned forward, reaching out to grip Tasha's knees as I looked up at her.

"Then take what you do know and uncover the rest in the most non-intrusive way possible. Does she have a doctor that you could call?"

"I'm sure she does." She slid her hands onto mine and returned her light hazel-colored eyes back toward my face. I couldn't seem to pull my eyes off of her. I wanted so fucking badly to heal her. To offer her anything if she would just open up to me and let me in a little.

"Well, it's something you can look into when you're ready." I moved back and picked up my pizza. "When my sister died, it took me a long time to do anything other than stare at the wall. It was the hardest time of my life, but as I began to search for answers about what happened to her, things started to make sense again. I miss her like crazy, but somewhere inside of me I know it wasn't totally my fault that she died. I was twelve. I didn't know what to do when I found her at the bottom of our pool."

Horror filled Tasha's face, and I thought for a minute that I'd made a mistake.

The sound of a door opening behind us caused me to jump up. I moved into the kitchen as she walked back across the living room.

"Mom. What are you doing up?"

"I'm getting something to eat. I told you I didn't need your help. You can go now." The sickly voice sounded nothing like the Professor McCraven I'd heard make announcements and speeches for the last few years. Why in the world would Tasha's mom not want her help? What happened between the two of them to create such a large void?

"Let me get it for you and I'll go after that."

"Promise? I don't want to be a burden. I don't need you holding something else against me." She coughed softly.

Tasha's voice was a pinched whisper. I could almost feel the pain in her words. "I promise."

I moved back and pressed my back to the counter as Tasha motioned for me to stay back. She worked on getting a sandwich put together and cutting it up into small bites. I watched her with awe filling my insides. For someone that didn't care much for her mother, she sure seemed to be fully engaged in helping her. I could understand. My mother and father had become a distant memory to me, and yet if something were to happen to either of them, I'd forget all wrongs and rush to their sides without question. It had to be the same for Tasha.

She walked back out a few minutes later and paused by the door to the kitchen. The sadness on her face was only outdone by the dark circles forming under her eyes.

"I'm going to head back to campus. I'll be okay if you want to go back to whatever you were up to. Honestly. I don't-"

"I'm coming with you for pizza and movies unless this is your way of telling me you're not interested in spending the evening together. If that's the case, I totally understand." I moved toward her and reached out, squeezing her shoulders softly. "You do whatever you need to do."

She nodded and let her head drop to her chest. "I'm so tired, but I don't want to be alone."

"I'll come back to the dorm with you." I pressed my fingers under her chin and forced her to look up at me. "We'll watch a movie until you pass out and then I sneak out."

"And if I don't want you to leave?" The neediness in her voice caused my body to wake up. It was the worst timing possible, and yet I had no control over the power she had to stir my hormones and drag them from the deep slumber they had been in.

"Then I'll spend the night and hold you while you sleep. It's what friends do, Tasha."

"I wouldn't know." She slid her arms around my waist and pressed her cheek to my chest. "How are you becoming important so quickly?"

"Because I get you? I understand your personality and your drive like most people can't." I wrapped my arms tightly around her and kissed the top of her head again. "I'm not going to be anything you don't want me to be, but don't give me an inch you don't want me to take from you, okay?"

"You don't even know me. You wouldn't like me if you did." Her voice grew small.

"You don't know that, and it's unfair for you to assume what I would or wouldn't do." I kissed her head again and moved back. "Come on. Let's get out of here and try to make something out of the night. If you want to talk about all of this, or about Lyndsay, I'm willing to."

"Lyndsay was your sister?" She reached out and brushed her hand down my chest slowly.

"Yeah. She was only seven." I glanced around the house. "My parents blame me for her death, and I blame them. It's been a fun ten years of avoiding each other."

"Shit," she mumbled and moved back from me. "You get the pizza and I'll get the movies. I might have just found the one person that could make me feel normal."

I chuckled and followed her out of the house. "I'm not sure that's a compliment."

"It wasn't." She stopped beside her car and glanced over the top of the roof at me. "Thank you, Micah. I meant it. I wasn't sure who to call and after I tried Emily, you were the next name that popped in my head. Why, I'm not sure."

I winked at her and got into my truck. I didn't care about the why. I was just grateful that I'd somehow already started to worm my way into her thoughts. Her heart and then her body were next on my radar. I wanted all of her, but I would bide my time as best I could.

No need to push her and have her running from me like everyone else in my life had done. I'd learned my lesson too many times to repeat old mistakes. At least I hoped I had.

Time would tell the truth of my conviction.