Rebuilding Stone (The Stone Brother Series Book 2) (14 page)

Kerrigan has been gone a whole week. I caved and finally
washed my sheets. I hated it but it had to be done. We talk daily. She told me
that she met a few people and that she went four wheeling with her new friends.
I tried to hide the jealousy when she said she had to ride on the back of a
guy's four-wheeler. I trust her, though. She told me it was a fun day and she
was happy. The thought of her happy made me happy. I can tell, in just the week
she’s been gone, that she’s different.

Tonight, I invited Donna over. Molly’s parents went back to
Kentucky so Noah doesn’t want to leave Molly alone. I couldn’t reach Evan so I
called Donna, which is a first. I felt better about having her as a friend,
with no benefits, after her and Kerrigan’s interaction. I can hear Donna knock
on the door.

“Here, I brought some beer and chips. I don’t know what
we’re watching so I got this,” she says laying it on the coffee table.

“I ordered some Chinese food. I didn’t know what you liked
so I got a little bit of everything.”

As soon as I say this, another knock comes signaling the
delivery guy. We grab our plates and start talking.

“Heard from Kerrigan?” she asks.

“Yeah, just got off the phone with her. She’s doing good,” I
explain.

“Good, that’s good. Hopefully, she can find the answers
she’s looking for.”

“That’s what we are hoping for,” I say.

Donna lets out a burp and I die laughing. It was a six
hundred pound man burp.

“That totally deserves a ten. And gross,” I laugh out.

“Gross? What are you a girl?”

“No, and hearing that burp leads me to believe you aren’t
either.”

We both start laughing. I’m enjoying her company. I don’t
know a lot about her. If we’re going to be friends, I better start getting to
know her better.

“Tell me about yourself,” I say.

“Not much to tell. Born and raised in Chicago. I just
started my own event planning business. Other than that, nothing interesting.”

“No boyfriend? You told me I gave you hope that guys can be
loveable. You found one yet?”

“Alright, I’m going to cut to the chase here. I’m not
interested in men.”

“You saying what I think you’re saying?” I ask.

“If you’re thinking I’m gay, the answer is yes.”

“Hmm. Well, then. You have a girlfriend?” I ask. She laughs.

“Not yet. I got my eye on someone, though.”

“My advice? Waste no time. I wasted years with Kerrigan.
Years I won’t get back,” I say, suddenly feeling sad. God, if I could go back
to that day at the bar, I’d tell the blonde to fuck off.

“Good advice but, Maddox, there is no such thing as ‘wasted
years’. All that means is years of self-discovery. I thought I wasted years by
not coming out to my family. I knew they’d be upset and I didn’t want to be the
cause of it. I learned they weren’t wasted; they were years of self-esteem
building and really getting to know who I was. So, when I finally came out, I
would do it with confidence and not be worried about what anyone thought.”

“Shit. You should be a therapist,” I say.

She’s right. If I would’ve had a relationship with Kerrigan
when I thought I might have been ready, it wouldn’t have gone well. I wasn’t
completely ready to admit my feelings or wants.

“How did your parents take it?” I ask.

“It was hard. I knew they loved me, though. They’re proud of
me. Only an uncle has an issue with it.”

“Well, he’s an idiot,” I say.

Donna is a good person. Conversation is easy, and she is as
open-minded as they come.

“I’m surprised you’re being so cool about it,” she says.

“Why?”

“Because you’re all macho and beautiful. I always thought
you wanted every girl to want you.”

“My college roommate was gay. I’ll admit I did have a
problem with it. I felt as though people would think I was also gay. One night,
I had planned to move out because I believed that whole talk on ‘Oh, he is
watching you’, ‘Oh, he will hit on you’. Before I left, he said, ‘Sorry, you
can’t see me the way I see you—as a friend.’ I realized then that I let
people influence me in a way they shouldn’t. So, I unpacked. And he was my best
friend all the way through college. He lives in Europe now with his husband and
two kids. I’m happy for him. And I’m happy for me that I met him and had him as
a great friend during those years.”

Donna nudges my arm. “You’re a good guy, Maddox Stone.”

“So are you.” I nudge her arm back, and we both start
laughing.

Seriously, I grew up with two brothers, and I’ve never heard
them burp like that.

It’s been two weeks since I got here. It’s so much more than
what I expected. People are welcoming. It shouldn’t surprise me though because
Molly grew up here, and she is the same way. Only a few people have asked what
brought me here, and thankfully, no one pushes for more information. Kelly and
I get along fabulously. She is spunky, loud, and has excellent taste in music.
I never dreamed I’d become a country music fan, but I am one now. That’s what
we’ve been doing in the evenings, listening to music and chatting. She also got
me hooked on
The Walking Dead.
I’ve
never been much of a TV watcher, but it’s our ritual. Every night we watch
three episodes so I can get caught up before the next season starts.

Today I am meeting with Jay. I’ve only had the chance to
talk to him on a couple occasions. He’s been so busy catching up with work
since he and Annie took a few weeks off to be with Molly. Jay offered me
counseling, and I took him up on it. That makes me very nervous though, and I
hope I don’t get a religious lecture. I realize he is a pastor, so I feel the
need to get it out in the open that I don’t believe in God. I don’t care what
anyone believes. Whatever gets us through the day and our hard times is up to
each individual.

I’m here at the church where, apparently, I will start
working. I knock on Jay’s office door.

“Come in!” he yells.

“Hey! Is this a good time?” I ask because he looks busy.

“Yes, of course. Sit down.”

“Thanks.” Suddenly I’m nervous, but I don’t know why.

“Kerrigan, I invited you here to ask if you’d be interested
in working here doing the filing, scheduling weddings, bank deposits, and well,
pretty much whatever else that needs to get done. I need you to be a jack of
all trades.”

I smile, thinking this job sounds perfect, but....

I decide to just get it off my chest. “Jay, I appreciate the
job offer, but I think you should know that I don’t believe in God. I won’t be
attending Sunday services, and I just wanted to tell you upfront. If that
changes your offer, I understand.”

I watch as a smile crosses his face. I totally see Molly in
this man.

“Kerrigan, my job as a pastor isn’t to pass judgment,” he
says, shaking his head. “It’s to help those who need it. To be an ear to those
who need one, and offer guidance from those who seek it. Yes, I wish everyone
believed. I know by faith that what I believe is real. I’ve learned over the
years that I need to lead by example. People who see me as a man of God also
see me as peaceful, happy, and in love.” Wow. He’s good. I find myself wanting
what he has, minus the God part. I can tell already that he will be a big help
for me.

“Okay. I just wanted you to know.”

Again, he smiles. “Do you want to start our counseling
session now? Since you’re here.”

“Sure” I say because as much as I am enjoying Kentucky, I
miss Maddox.

“Alright. Lets start with your childhood. Tell me about your
parents and your relationships with them.”

“My dad and my mom were never married. My dad left early,
and eventually, he got married and started a new family. I wasn’t in his life
much, and it wasn’t until recently that I formed a relationship with my sister.
My mom went from man to man. She wasn’t abusive, but she focused solely on my
looks. She never encouraged me to do well in school, but she would always tell
me when a strand of hair was out of place.”

“Have you talked to your parents about the way they made you
feel?” he asks.

“I never tried with my dad. There was no hope. The woman he
married hated my mom and me. I tried a lot with my mom. Finally, in my junior
year of high school, I realized she never listened to what I was saying, so I
stopped talking.” I take in a deep breath, and let out a loud sigh.

“I see. I’m sorry about that. What about after you left
home? Your dating life? Friendships you built?”

“I didn’t have much of a dating life. I had a few
boyfriends, and they all seemed to have just used me for sex.” I blush a
scarlet red, but I don’t care right now. I need answers to my life.

“Friendships...there was only one. Lani. I think she is the
only person who knew everything about me and still wanted to be friends. She
comes from money and yet she still came to the trailer park to stay the night
with me. Of course, Molly came along and I am so grateful for her.”

Again, I watch him smile. “Molly feels the same way.” He
pauses briefly, and continues. “Now, why do you think the men used you?”

“I don’t know. We would sleep together, and then it would
end. For different reasons. I do know, though, it was because I was trailer park
trash.”

“Did they tell you that?” he asks.

“No, but I know.”

“Has anyone ever called you trailer park trash?”

“Nope. Not one,” I answer.

“Well, I’m sure one person has—
you
.”

Dammit. He’s right.

“For today, here’s what I want you to work on. In the moments
you feel like trailer park trash, think of things that are the truth, things
about yourself that you’re proud of. Are you trash?”

“No,” I reply.

“Then stop going there in your head.”

“What if I don’t have anything to be proud of?” I ask. I
mean look at my damn life.

“I’ll give you a few things,” he says. "This is what I
see when I look at you, you moved out and made a life for yourself. You had the
courage to stand up to a man that you knew was capable of taking your life. You
packed up to move here leaving everything behind. You don’t realize it, but it
takes a strong woman to do all of that. You even offered my daughter friendship
when she had just moved to Chicago. You have a warm heart.”

For some reason, I start crying. Maybe it’s because when he
said those things, I hear them differently in my head.
I moved out because my parents didn’t want me, I was dumb enough to
stay with a man who beat me, I moved because I was an idiot, and I only offered
a friendship to Molly because she didn’t say yes to Maddox.
I know, though,
that if it were a friend going through what I’m going through, I’d offer those
same words of encouragement.

Lani has told me for years that I have nothing to be ashamed
of. I never believed her. When you have a father who only does for you what is
legally required, and a mother who completely ignores you, it’s hard to feel
like you’re worthy of anything. Jay’s right. I need to stop putting myself
down. I remember when Maddox told me he loved me. He listed my strengths.

It’s been three miserable weeks without Kerrigan. The
highlight of my day is always when I get to see her smile on Skype. She is
doing well. We talked about Jay, how he is offering her advice, and how she is
working at the church and getting to know people. Every day I see a new
strength and a new light in her. As much as I want her here with me, I need her
to be whole. And when Kerrigan truly gives me her heart, I want it to be whole.

I’m eating at Hansons with just Evan tonight. Noah is back
to work, and his time is limited. I also called Brayden because we haven’t hung
out since the night Molly had Lane. All of us men, except Noah, are in the same
boat of misery with the women we love. I have a feeling we are all going to get
drunk.

As I walk in, I notice Evan and Brayden have already started
drinking. There are a few empty shot glasses. Looks like I have some catching
up to do.

“What are you all drinking?” I ask.

“Whatever Ari brings us.” Brayden laughs.

“Alright,” I say, “I’ll go grab a few shots and tell her to
surprise us.”

It’s always nice to see Ari, who is a lot like her sister.
She is stronger than she believes, and yet, very girly. I return to the table
and deliver the shots. We down them and start taking turns doing this, and at
about three or four shots in, we start talking like a bunch of schoolgirls.

“You guys have any advice for me?” Brayden asks. “How the
hell do I prove to Missy that I love her, and if given the chance, I could love
Cade?”

Evan starts laughing. It’s a slow drunk laugh. “You’re at
the wrong table, my friend,” he says, slurring his words. “Maddox’s girl moved
a few states away, and my girl is a bitch...a straight up
bitch
.”

“So you admit Lani’s your girl?” I ask.

“Not yet. I don’t want her to be my girl. But...I do want to
tie her up and fuck her brains out.”

Okay then. We never hid our sex life, but we never talk this
openly about it either.

“You’ve got to stop acting like a caveman,” I say, “Lani
doesn’t respond to that.”

“Oh, she will,” he says with confidence.

“I can’t believe I am sitting here with you guys,” says
Brayden. “Lani isn’t a prize. The sooner you see that the better off you’ll
be.” He is already so deeply in love that he avoids any talk about Missy that
way. He knows that an image of a naked Missy would cross our minds. Brayden’s a
caveman too. He just doesn’t know it.

“Fucking Lani into submission would be a prize,” Evan announces.

“I’m going to get something else to drink.” Brayden says,
disgusted.

“What’s going on, Evan?” I ask. I notice he seems angry
tonight.

“Nothing,” he replies. “Rough day at work. Sexually
frustrated. The list goes on and on, brother.”

“You see those two girls standing in the corner?” I ask him.
“Why don’t you go talk to them?” But, for the first time ever, Evan says no.

We drink a couple more shots, and then Brayden and I stop.
Evan doesn’t. Something is going on. As we were sitting here talking, Lani and
her boyfriend, Jase, walk in. Oh, shit. This is not going to end well. I’m
thinking I need to ask Ari to get Lani to the bathroom. Evan stands up, turns
around, and locks eyes with Lani.

“Next round is on me, boys,” Evan says, walking off.

“Evan, wait,” I say, “let me.” I try to grab his arm, but he
jerks it away and walks off.

I turn to Brayden and say, “I hope you’re sober enough to
help me restrain Evan.”

Brayden doesn’t even flinch; he is up on his feet ready for
whatever is about to go down. I swear, for a bunch of grown professional men,
we turn to schoolyard boys when our women are involved. I just pray I don’t
have to arrest Evan. I text Noah, just in case. He’s at the hospital.

Heads up. Evan is drunk. You may be getting a patient
shortly. - M

Why? - N

Lani/Jase - M

Oh shit. - N

That’s all he says because he knows there isn’t a soul he
wouldn’t beat down for his girl.

I’m surprised to watch Evan pull up a chair beside Lani. He
sits there casually as Lani starts shifting in her seat. I shake my head to
Ari, who seems to be on alert as well.

“Alani, it’s nice seeing you again,” Evan says with a smile.

“Jase, you ready?” Lani asks, as she turns straight to face
Jase without speaking to Evan.

“You alright, Lani?” Jase asks.

“I will be, as soon we get home.”

“We just got here,” Jase responds.

“I know,” Lani replies, sounding irritated. “Let’s just go
okay?”

“Why you running, Alani?” Evan asks.

“I’m not running. I’m just avoiding you,” Lani states.

“Excuse me, I think you’re making Lani uncomfortable. You
should leave,” Jase says.

I cringe. Jase is a tool, but I do like that he is willing
to stick up for Lani.

“I’m not making her uncomfortable,” says Evan. “It’s the
kiss we shared. That’s what has her wanting to run. She’s afraid.”

“Lani?” Jase looks at her with interrogating eyes.

“I’m leaving,” says Lani, as she stands up. “Have a good
night, boys.”

“Not until you tell me what’s going on.” Jase says.

“Jase, first of all, we’re not dating,” Lani says, holding
up her pointer finger. “And second, I didn’t kiss that asshole. He kissed
me
.”

“Oh, she kissed me, Jase. Her tongue was definitely all over
mine.”

“Well, her tongue was all over my dick last night,” Jase
boasts. “Looks like I win here buddy.”

Oh, fuck me. I want to tell Jase to run.

“Both of you hush! I don’t belong to either of you,” Lani
says in a rush. “Please, just stop.” I think she knows Evan is one word from
crazy.

“You belong to me. Hear me now, Alani. You’re fucking mine,”
says Evan, as he grabs Lani again and kisses her. Evan was right; she is
clearly kissing back. She eventually smacks his chest after he touched hers.

“Evan, I don’t know what your sudden obsession is with me,”
says Lani. “Get over it. I’m not leggy. I’m not into whips or gags. Jase, I
expect this macho shit from this guy.” She points to Evan. “You’re above this
behavior.”

Jase tries to speak up, but Evan gets in first. “Alani, I’m
not into whips and gags either. When I inflict sexual pain, I do it with my
cock, my hand, and maybe some fisting.”

Ugh. Drunken Evan needs to shut up. He isn’t winning her
over with this talk. Lani backs up. She is having a stare down with Evan. She’s
pissed, but I see something in Lani that I can’t put my finger on.

“Lani,” Jase says, “you let this man kiss you in front of
me. And you’re mad at
me
?”

Lani looks at him and says, “I’m not mad. I’m just wondering
why you felt the need to explain us to Evan. Evan is
nothing
to me.”

Ouch! That had to be hard for Evan to hear.

“You’re right. Sorry. Let’s just go.” Jase says and smirks at
Evan.

“Enjoy your night!” Evan smarts off.

“I will. Don’t worry.” Jase winks at Lani.

“You know what? I’m going home alone!” Lani storms out the
bar.

Jase follows Lani out the door. Thankfully, Evan stays put.
I decide to send Noah a text to let him know everything is okay. Brayden and I
stay close to Evan because something is wrong. I just don’t know what it is.

“Evan, are you sure it’s just Lani that has you upset? I’m
missing something. I just don’t know what.”

“I think I will go relieve some stress,” Evan says, as he
walks past me, and heads straight for the two girls that were standing in the
corner.