Authors: Justine Dell
Light filtered in when Xavier opened the door and reentered the room. He cradled a large notebook in his hand, and a wicked smile lit his face. Still completely naked, he walked with masculine glory across the wood floor, flicked on the light sitting on the nightstand, and sat down in bed beside her. Wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him, he laid the notebook on the sheets in front of her.
The notebook was red but very faded. The cover had worn through in some spots, and the cardboard underneath peeked through. The edges were battered and split on the corners, the metal ring along the left side bent in several places.
She ran her hand across the cover, outlining the black lettering with her fingertip. The letters were smooth, written in marker and not as worn as the notebook itself. Two letters dominated:
XS
.
“XS?” She crooked her head toward Xavier. “As in your clothing line?”
“Open it.” He nudged it toward her. His hand circled up and down her bare back.
She flipped the front cover open and blinked several times, making sure what she saw was real. With both hands, she picked up the notebook and brought it closer to her face. A huge lump formed in her throat.
It was a washed-out picture of her and Xavier, sitting on a red blanket at the beach. Sophia saw the little red bikini Xavier had talked about before, and she smiled. Xavier’s young body and face gave her pause, but when she focused more on how
she
looked, her eyes narrowed. She’d been thinner—much thinner—than when she’d woken up from after her accident. Had she been so upset over losing Xavier that she’d eaten herself into a chubby stupor?
She shifted her attention to how, in the picture, Xavier held her closely. Sophia was laughing and had her face tilted up toward his with her hand pressed to his chest. They sat atop creamy sand, surrounded by crystal blue sky. A single boat floated in the distance.
Beautiful. Magical. Sophia held a hand to her heart. Love. A tear fell down her cheek. Xavier’s finger gently wiped it away.
“I hope those are tears of joy,” he said.
She angled her head toward him. He was grinning all the way up to his eyes.
“Of course.”
“Don’t fall apart on me now.” He interlaced her fingers with his. “It’s a big notebook…lots of stuff to look at.”
Sophia looked back at the picture. It was all she’d seen on the page at first glance, but there was writing, too. It looked like hers and said:
Xavier Cain & Sophia Montel
Two hearts that beat as one
Our love shall not be undone
XS shall be a great thing to come
Xavier had kept that binder all those years, just for her. She reread the last line again and looked at him. The boyish smile was still on his face.
“I don’t understand.” She paused, trying to find the right words. “The XS part, I mean.”
He shook his head and continued to smile. “Turn the page.”
With unsteady hands, Sophia did so. Page by page, she stopped to stare. She brought her fingers to her lips, not allowing herself to gasp in amazement as she went through the book.
The notebook was full of designs drawn out by Xavier. Swatches of fabric were glued to the pages, along with pictures of patterns and places. Her handwriting was scribbled all over the place as well, with such sayings as
more color!
,
make me feel it!
,
think happiness, love, and purity
. Xavier had entwined that entire book into his fashion line. It was there in every inch of fabric, every color. Every completed design was a piece of her. A memory of her.
When she reached the last page, she closed the notebook. Emotions ran through her so fast she felt nauseated. She couldn’t believe all she’d just learned and was overwhelmed at the thought of everything she had missed not being with Xavier all that time.
Sophia’s throat tightened, and she swallowed. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” Xavier laughed. “Sorry for what?”
“For not being there…”
He silenced her next words with a tender kiss. Surrendering, Sophia felt safe and secure again. She had to fight the impulse not to cling to him when he then drew away, eyeing her with a hint of apprehension.
“You were there,” he said. “You were always there.” He kissed her once more, taking his time before releasing her. “You and I made this notebook when we were together that summer. I was the artist, and you were my muse. I wanted you to see our past as a whole. Past, present, and future. You’ve always been a part of my life, my designs, and I’ve never forgotten you.”
Sophia blushed and looked away.
“You see,” he continued. “You and I both had a love of fashion.” He tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear. “Of beautiful things. When you left that summer, I didn’t think I’d ever get that feeling back. I wanted it. Wanted you. When I met Diera, all the pieces fell into place. I knew it would only be a matter of time before we were together again. So this is what I put every ounce of my life into.”
Her lips quivered. She couldn’t believe Xavier had kept the two of them together all that time with just an idea and a name. All that time,
XS
had stood for
Xavier
and
Sophia
.
Xavier took hold of her chin and turned her face to him. “Don’t cry. This is good. All of this is good.”
She rubbed her eyes dry. “I know, I know. It’s just—well…”
“Yes,” he said before she could finish her sentence. “I have loved you all this time, and I have always held you close to my heart. I want you with me, Sophia. It’s all I’ve always wanted.”
She curled her arms around him. The warmth of his body could be felt through the sheet separating them. His arm around her waist, fingers stroking her back, soothed her.
“Tell me again,” she said against his ear.
“I love you.”
“And I you.” She drew back, allowing the sheet between them to slither away, leaving them heat on heat.
Chapter Seventeen
T
HE
N
EXT
F
EW
D
AYS
were spent in a flurry of activity at places all around Long Island. They’d spent an entire day shopping in Eastport. Xavier took Sophia to a Whaling Museum, Westbury Gardens, and a quaint little restaurant called the Sip’n Soda. They’d been to these places before, that summer long ago, and Xavier wanted her to see each one again.
The days weren’t long enough to learn about the past, nor were the nights enough to cool the steam between them. Waking up next to the only person she’d ever loved made Sophia feel complete. It was perfect, and she was afraid the rug might be jerked out from under her at any time. She scolded herself for that thought, knowing that Xavier loved her just as much as she loved him. Nothing could keep them apart now.
Sophia licked a vanilla ice cream cone as the two of them sat on a bench. She settled herself in his lap, their legs intertwined. She loved the way the ocean’s spring breeze felt against her skin and the way Xavier’s arm felt curled around her. She eyed him carefully, wondering what he was thinking as he gazed out into the orange horizon. To think he’d spent all those years searching for her, building up a fashion line in memory of her, and always hoping she’d find him again. It had to have been the longest decade of his life.
“Ten years is a long time to be apart,” Sophia said. “Thank you…for waiting for me.”
Xavier’s grin was quick. “I would have waited ten more.”
She played with the wrapper at the base of her cone. “Love is powerful. And I didn’t realize how powerful until you showed me that notebook the other night.”
He touched a fingertip to her bare knee, swirling little circles.
“But why, Xavier?” she asked. “Besides the love, besides the fashion…why?”
His finger froze. He looked at her then, a flash of hurt in those electric eyes. “Because you saved me.”
Sophia sighed heavily. “How?”
He
had saved
her
. From her family, from the life she’d hated, and even from herself. How had she really done anything to help
him
—besides cause him pain?
“You remember me telling you about my parents dying when I was young and my grandparents taking Bryant and me in, right?”
She nodded and took another lick of her ice cream cone before it melted.
He didn’t break eye contact as he continued talking. “Bryant and I didn’t exactly love the arrangement at first. We were angry because of our parents’ death, always thinking the world was out to get us.”
Sophia nodded. Those were normal feelings to have when losing a parent so young—let alone both parents.
“Gram and Pap gave us strict rules and curfews, wanted to know all of our friends and whereabouts.” He rolled his shoulders. “It was hard time for everyone. Not only had we lost our parents, but Gram and Pap had lost their only son.”
She touched a hand to his cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
Xavier gave her a wavering half-grin. He still felt the loss of their deaths, she could see, even if he didn’t admit it to himself.
“It was a long time ago. We’ve learned to cope since then. But thank you. It still hurts to think of them and all the things we missed out on together.” He broke his stare and focused on the sea. “I miss them.”
Sophia rubbed his back, hoping her touch was enough to help him through the conversation. She hadn’t known that by asking that question she’d drudge up things from his past.
“You don’t have to tell me, Xavier.”
His eyes locked on her again. “No, I want to. It’s important for you to understand why I fought so hard to find you. Why I did the things I did and run the company the way I run it. It’s all because of you, Sophia.”
She kissed him, gently. The taste of his vanilla ice cream mingled with her chocolate. “Then please do.”
“It wasn’t long after Gram and Pap’s rules became more like guidelines to me. Bryant wasn’t much into troublemaking, but he began to fail at school. Didn’t care about the way he looked or smelled, for that matter. He became a one-man couch potato. I, on the other hand, became a one-man wrecking machine. Destroying school property. Ditching. A recreational drug or two. Vandalism. Theft.” He heaved in a deep breath. “That summer, the one when you came here, started off with a bang for me. On the fourth of July, my friends and I thought it would be fun to put bottle rockets in our neighbor’s gas tank. The fire station didn’t think that was funny. No one did. We almost burned down the whole damn block.”
Sophia’s eyes grew wide, and she snuggled even closer against him, his warmth. The cold dribble of her now untouched ice cream cone cascaded down her fingers. This was the
history
her grandmother had mentioned.
“Thank God no one was hurt,” he continued. “I was under eighteen, and the judge didn’t want to try me as an adult. Probation, restitution, and counseling were in my future. I didn’t think I would make it. And then I met you.”
Sophia tilted her head at him. “What made me so special?”
He chuckled. “You really don’t see how good you are, do you?”
Her cheeks grew warm. “No.”
“When I met you on the beach that day, you were so full of life and beautiful. Talking about everything you wanted to accomplish. You acted thirty instead of seventeen. I was in awe of you.”
He grabbed the lopsided cone from her hand and chucked it in the garbage next to him. He drew her hand, covered in driblets of melted chocolate, to his mouth. Making sure his eyes never left hers, he licked every last drop of ice cream from her fingers. Sophia’s whole body shuddered.
“I’d known you were well-to-do, which is why Bryant didn’t think I stood a chance with you. You were graceful and poised, well-mannered and sweet. Yet not at all like I pictured a high-society girl from London. You wanted to read books to children at the library. Hand out food at the homeless shelter. Volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club. You, Sophia, wanted to give back while you were here. You said America gave you the opportunities to do things your parents didn’t allow you to back home. I saw your generosity, your genuine love of people who were less fortunate than you, and I was addicted. To you.” His fingers curled around hers. “You showed me that no matter your background, no matter your class, people could survive on two things: love and care.”
Sophia’s heart was a mushy puddle, same as her ice-cream cone lying at the bottom of the trashcan.
“But how did that save you?” she asked.
“Because I wanted to be like you. Love like you. Care like you. You always looked at everything like you were looking at it for the first time. Open-minded and wide-eyed. You made a difference in the short time you were here. I wanted to make a lifetime of differences.”
She smiled. “Which is why XS does so much philanthropy work.”