Recipe For Seduction (A Madewood Brothers Novel) (Entangled Brazen) (21 page)

“Mark paid me a little visit, yes.” He walked farther into the cabin and rested his bottom against an old wood table. The cabin was musty, with makeshift curtains stapled in place, and a creaky wood floor. The kitchen was behind them, and on the opposite side was a tiny hallway that most likely led to the bedroom. “And there might have been an unprovoked attack with a bottle of raspberry coulis.” His lips twitched.

She chuckled under her breath, then grew serious. “Cal didn’t mean to say anything. Mark got him all riled up, and it just slipped out.”

“I know.” But the truth had come out. Probably for the best. But it didn’t help them decide their next steps. Or maybe it did. “So, where do we go from here?”

He didn’t know if he wanted an answer to his question. He didn’t even know what that answer should be.

Yeah, he did.

She pushed out her chest, the soft swell of her breasts peeking out from the side of the fabric, and sighed. “All this time, I’ve known. When I was eleven years old, I knew you were the one.”

Nothing good could come of her reminiscing about their past. “Veronica—”

She waved him off. “But things change. People grow up. Priorities aren’t the same as when you were a starry-eyed teenager.” Tears shone in her eyes. It broke his heart to know he was the reason for those tears. “You’re it, Finn. I know it, in here.” She placed her finger to her temple. “And in here.” Her palm rested against her chest. “But it won’t work. We just don’t want the same things.”

He kept his mouth shut. That might be true…he might even agree. But the more she tried to put distance between them, the more he would do anything to keep her within arm’s reach.

“I could never keep you from having the life you’ve always dreamed of,” she went on. “And I know you would never ask me to do anything I didn’t want to do.”

“Of course I wouldn’t.” His chest hurt. It felt as though an elephant had sat on it and he couldn’t breathe.

“The way I see it, we’re stuck. Perfect for each other in every way, but on completely separate paths that will never, not even ten years from now, cross.”

Would it hurt less if he gave in? Would the pain go away if he agreed to live his life on her terms? No kids? No boisterous family? Just the two of them growing old together?

“But right now…” She approached, lifted her hand to rest over his heart. “I want to feel your arms around me just one more time. And then we can move on. Try to find someone else. Someone who could maybe, one day, claim second best.”

“I don’t want second best,” he murmured. But the vision he had for his life had been decided so many years ago. It was so deeply ingrained in his heart, it was part of who he was.

She was right, though. People did change. Maybe he was the one who needed to change his dream and his vision. Could he?

“For now, make love to me. As if it’s the last time.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “Because it is.”

His heart was breaking. He’d heard it shatter the moment she uttered her painful last words. But he’d known all along it would come to this. He just hadn’t expected it to be so soon.

He let his hands roam her body, then rested them on her bottom. His fingers flexed, and he pulled up the hem of her dress, eventually touching bare skin. He kneaded her bottom, tracing the line of her thong lower, and lower, until he slid his fingers between her legs.

She moaned as he massaged her, and just as he expected, she opened her legs for him. Immediately, he slipped his hand under the front of her dress and cupped her sex. He massaged for a moment, then stood and reversed their positions, until he pushed her against the edge of the table.

She climbed up and opened wide. He moved her thong aside as she released his cock from his pants. This time he wasn’t prepared. They’d already used his emergency condom.

When he hesitated, she gave him the go-ahead.

Three gentle thrusts and he was inside her. His favorite place in the world. The ecstasy that veiled her face every time they were joined together never failed to humble him. They were perfect. This moment was perfect.

Another tear trickled down her face and he wiped it away with his thumb. He moved slowly, their bodies connecting on a level beyond physicality. They had given everything to each other over the last few weeks. Laid it all out on the table. But this time, despite being fully clothed, they had never been more naked and vulnerable.

He gave his soul to her, right here in the dusty old cabin.

He enveloped her in his arms and pressed their bodies together. They came in unison, in a slow, spectacular moment he would take with him forever.

Chapter Twelve

Finn organized a stack of his restaurant receipts on the table by date. Then by amount. Then by server. He stared at the small piles of white strips of paper, unable to concentrate on anything long enough to be productive.

This was how it had been for the last four days. Without Veronica.

She had kept her distance since the wedding. Just as she’d promised. She had always been good at that—keeping her promises. But so was he, and technically, he had never agreed to break it off. Not really.

Cal hadn’t spoken much about what was going on at home. He toed the line and did his work—more than his share of the work. Finn had never seen him more focused.

The sun filtered in through the front window. He’d forgotten to put down the shade before he sat down. The rays cast a yellow glow to the dining room, turning white tablecloths into champagne and black chairs into brown.

He glanced at his watch, conscious his staff would be rolling in within the next hour, including Cal. Finn would be spending his evening with the Cooking for the Future program—with a group of kids who were the most ambitious he’d ever worked with. Cal reminded him of a lot of those kids. Maybe it would do him good to see what the other side looked like—kids who had to scratch and claw their own way to get where they wanted to go. Cal was lucky. He’d had everything handed to him. Not that Finn’s situation had been bad, either. Once he had been taken in by Vivian, he’d had plenty of opportunities. But he’d never forgotten where he came from. Never grew callous or took for granted all that Vivian had brought into his life.

Cal had forgotten the instability, the loneliness, the hopelessness, that came with being in the foster care system. Maybe it would do him good to be reminded.

When Cal showed up for work Finn ushered him into the kitchen, and together they hefted six brimming, reusable grocery bags of food into his car.

“I thought I was working?” Cal was actually a little peeved Finn had taken him away from the restaurant.

“This isn’t a joyride. You will be working. Just in a different setting.”

“Do you have another restaurant no one knows about?”

Finn laughed. “I’m teaching the Cooking for the Future program tonight.”

“That’s where we’re going?” Cal scoffed. “That’s not work.” He leaned back in his seat and rested his foot on a knee. “You know, I always wondered what you did in that program, so I guess it’s kind of cool that you’re taking me.”

They merged onto the highway, and Cal didn’t stop talking until they reached the gray brick building at the highest point in the city. Finn unlocked the front doors and turned on the lights.

“Wow. This place is cool.” Cal walked into the open concept kitchen and let his hand glide along one of the countertops.

“It used to be a restaurant,” Finn explained, “but we bought the building and renovated. This was the very first site for the program.”

“Are all the kids enrolled foster kids?” Cal asked.

“Not exclusively anymore. We’ve expanded and also work on referral from the school boards.” He set the grocery bags on a front counter that spanned almost the entire width of the building. “Follow me.”

They took the next half hour to set up. Eventually the students wandered in. That’s when Finn noticed Cal clam up.

The group got right down to work, not wasting any time. He liked to save chitchat for the end of the evening. He always stayed until the last kid was ready to walk out the door. Sometimes, one or two of them would wait until the rest of the class took off so they could speak to him alone.

The lesson tonight was somewhat advanced, since these kids had been with Finn for six months now, but Cal didn’t falter. He’d learned a lot with Chris and Scott teaching him. Finn felt slightly guilty at the thought. He had been too busy having sex with his sister to think about showing the kid the ropes himself. And for that he was truly sorry.

When the stations had been cleared and the food had been eaten, he opened up the conversation to things other than cooking, as was his habit.

Peetie Simms sidled up to the front counter, resting both elbows on the granite. “University applications are due soon, and I’m still trying to figure out where to apply. What do you think, Finn?”

“Well, if I were to offer some advice…figure out what subject you want to major in and apply to the schools that have the best programs.”

Peetie contemplated his words. “I still don’t think my grades are good enough for a scholarship.”

Evan Scarre wandered up and retorted, “I told you to join the basketball team.” As he did every week, he was wearing a Toronto Raptors basketball jersey. “I’ve already got scouts sniffing around practice.”

Peetie frowned. “Unfortunately, I wasn’t blessed with a wicked three-pointer.”

“That’s because white men can’t jump.” Finn snickered.

The teens looked blankly at each other. Not one of them got the reference. He suddenly felt old.

“So, you guys are getting scholarships?” Cal asked.

At last he was engaging. About time. He’d barely spoken two words the whole evening.

“It’s not a guarantee,” Peetie said. “But we’re working our asses off to be eligible. We need scholarships, otherwise we might as well start practicing ‘Would you like fries with that?’”

It made Finn’s heart ache when these kids were down on themselves. “Going to university isn’t the only option out there,” he reminded them. “There’s community college, you can take classes at night, or maybe you could work for a bit and save some money, then reapply. There’s a lot you can do before giving up.”

“That’s what I’m doing,” Cal said. “I got into Western but I haven’t decided if it’s what I really want, so I’m taking some time and working for Chef Finn.”

“Oh, man,” Peetie said in disbelief. “As soon as I get my acceptance letter I am out of here. No more sharing a room with a baby. No more SpaghettiOs for dinner.”

“Me, too,” Evan said. “I can’t wait to play on a real wood court that’s actually taken care of. Do you know how many splinters I have on my ass from being knocked down onto the crap floor at our high school?”

Cal looked on, and although he was trying his best to keep his reaction under wraps, his shock was pretty obvious.

“Hey, Finn.” Brenden Gibb ran up with a big grin, his backpack in his hands. “Thanks for writing my reference letter. I got the job.” Brenden held out his fist and Finn bumped it, returning his grin.

“I knew you could do it.”

“Well, I think the letter was the clincher. What restaurant owner wouldn’t hire someone with a personal reference from one of the Madewoods?”

The other kids pelted Brenden with questions about the job, then Finn about everything else under the sun that was on their minds. When the talk died down and his students were satisfied they’d picked his brain enough, they trickled out one by one, leaving him and Cal alone.

Cal climbed up on the front counter, letting his legs dangle over the edge. “Those guys have to work really hard to go to school, huh?”

Finn nodded. “You worked really hard, too. You caught up from behind and graduated sooner than expected, with good grades, too.”

“But I didn’t have to work or rely on a scholarship. I just assumed everything was going to be taken care of for me.”

Step one accomplished. At least the kid was now aware he had it easier than others. And that maybe he should be a little more grateful for what he was given, and to those who provided it.

They sat in silence for a few moments, but curiosity eventually got the better of Finn.

“How are things at home?”

Cal scowled. “Tense. Mark hasn’t left yet. I don’t know why he’s hanging around. No one wants him here.”

“That’s not true. I know Veronica loves him being back.”

Cal’s mouth curled up in disgust. “She’s the only one, then.”

“I liked having him back, too.” Finn clasped Cal’s shoulder. “It was nice to have my friend around again. Even though we had a disagreement or two.”

Cal jumped down, flinging his arm off, and headed toward the door.

“You’re pissed off at Mark for leaving, aren’t you?” Finn called after him.

Cal stopped short at the first workstation, but didn’t answer.

“Because he abandoned you, right? Just another person on the long list of people in your life who have abandoned you. You’re thinking if you go away to school, then Veronica will move on, too. And you’re afraid she won’t want you in her life anymore. Isn’t that right?”

The kid didn’t turn around, but he didn’t walk away, either.

“Tell me if I’m warm.”

Finally, Cal turned and met his gaze. “Am I that obvious?”

“It’s not obvious, Cal. Don’t forget, I’ve been there myself, in the exact same place.”

As if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, Cal stood tall. “He
left
. He
left
all of us.” He emphasized each sentence with a finger poke at the air. “I don’t know how you can be friends with someone like that.”

“You still don’t get it, do you? Even after listening to the kids in the program tonight. Can’t you understand why Mark left? That without his salary, neither you nor Ali would have been able to go to school?”

Cal shrugged. “So? We’d have survived.”

“Not good enough. V and Mark want to give you something better than what they had growing up. Which was basically nothing. Until they were taken in by a nice family, they were just surviving. Why do you think they took you into their home?”

“Because they felt guilty. I figured when the novelty wore off, they’d forget about us.”

“Seriously? And did that happen?”

“Not yet,” Cal said, sounding a shade belligerent.

Finn shook his head. “After all this time, you can’t possibly believe that.”

The kid shrugged.

Finn jumped up to sit on the counter. “Are you going to tell me what’s really going on with you? Why you backed out of school? Why you’re acting out like you’ve been doing? And don’t feed me some line of bullshit. Give me the truth.”

Cal pulled out the chair at the workstation. He kept his distance, but at least he wasn’t running for the hills. When he sat down, he lifted his head and anguish-filled eyes stared back at Finn. “I’m afraid. I’m afraid if I leave, I’ll never be able to come back. That Veronica will realize how much better her life is without us, without me, holding her down.”

Finn let out a long exhale. “You know that’s just ridiculous, right?”

“I suppose.” But Cal didn’t sound very convinced. He picked at the granite with his fingernail.

Finn met his eyes and said, “You need Veronica to think she needs to watch over you. It’s the only way you can guarantee she won’t go away and leave you, too.”

The kid swallowed, his eyes reflecting a childhood filled with hurt and fear. He blinked hard, and Finn could tell he’d finally hit home.

He jumped down from the counter and moved closer. Cal thankfully didn’t retreat. “Do you understand how unfair that is? To Veronica. And to yourself.”

Cal swallowed again, harder. “I don’t know what I’d do if she… I couldn’t go through that again. Or Ali. I need to make sure—” His words choked off.

Finn stepped even closer. Cal’s eyes were filled with tears.

He laid his arm around the boy’s shoulders. “You won’t have to. Your big sister will never let you guys go. Whether you’re living under her roof, or at school, or you’re an old man of thirty-two like me. She will always be there for you. You can bet your university money on it.”

“I don’t know,” Cal said, his voice cracking. “I’ve done some pretty horrible things.” He gazed up at him with an overwhelming sadness. “I’ve been such an asshole.”

“Stop. Everyone does things they regret. Everyone fails before they succeed. You’re going to fail sometimes with girls, with your job, with your family. It’s inevitable. But that’s how we learn. The person we become is based on all of the mistakes we’ve made. How you chose to use those mistakes to shape the person you want to be…well, that’s what truly makes the man.”

Cal looked doubtful. “Have you ever failed?”

Christ knew, Finn had failed many times. His biggest failure…Veronica.

He pulled another chair up to the station and sat. “I failed twelfth-grade math. Had to go to summer school. Vivian was
not
impressed.”

Cal rolled his eyes. “I’m being serious.”

“So am I. Still, when have I ever needed to bisect a tangent owning a restaurant?”

“Exactly!” Cal shook his fist. “That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to tell V all along.”

“Yeah, well, she just wants the best for you. Tangents and all.”

Cal hung his head. “I know.”

“And the fact is, the adding and subtracting part has come in pretty handy. So maybe adults actually know what they’re talking about.” He winked. “And we should have at least listened.”

Finn could practically see the gears turning in the boy’s head. “I guess. Maybe.”

“We all fuck up. Jack went on a wild rampage screwing everything he could get his hands on. And even ones he couldn’t.” Cal choked out a laugh. “Neil has a sex tape.” Finn smiled when Cal made a grossed-out face. “And Cole, well, he refuses to grab hold of something right in front of his face and finally be happy.”

He hoped one day both Cole and Penn would realize life is too short to waste it fighting with the one you love.

“And you failed grade twelve math.” Cal didn’t seem overly impressed with Finn’s emotionally insignificant failure.

“Yes, but I also fucked up with your sister.” He’d agreed to a casual arrangement against his better judgment thinking they would both come out unscathed. But he’d only caused her tears.

“I know.” Cal went serious. “She’s been moping around for the last few days. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for upsetting her.”

Finn had never respected him more than in that moment. “I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself.”