Reckless (26 page)

My eyes watered as I stared at him. “You just gave an acoustic performance at one of the biggest radio stations in the city. Your single is going to be all over the airwaves soon. I am so
incredibly proud of you right now.”

Kellan’s smile was glorious. “Will you marry me?” he whispered.

I laughed at his oft repeated question. Before I could give him my answer, the other elevator car arrived and Tory marched over with the rest of the guys. Wedging her way between us, she
informed Kellan that he had more interviews to give and a plane to catch, so there was no time to dawdle. She did give him a few minutes to greet the fans outside, though.

Kellan was in his element as he chatted and signed autographs. Watching him talk to his fans, it was easy to see Kellan’s genuine affection and appreciation for them. He laughed as they
screamed and giggled, agreeing to sign anything they threw his way, and posed for pictures with as many of them as he had time for. There were parts of this business that Kellan didn’t care
for, but meeting his fans wasn’t one of them.

Just as Tory snapped her fingers and told him it was time to wrap it up, a limo pulled up to the curb. For a minute, I thought it was there for us, but then Sienna emerged from the building. The
gathered fans erupted as she waved and signed a few CD covers on the way to her car. When she passed by Kellan, she gave him a long, lingering kiss on the cheek. “See you later,” she
husked, just loud enough for everyone around to hear.

Kellan only had time to nod at her before she was whisked away. Kellan looked back at me and I shrugged. At least she hadn’t kissed him on the lips again. Maybe she actually would respect
his wishes.

The next several days were a blur of traveling, fans, interviews, acoustic performances, and Taskmaster Tory. I couldn’t decide if having a handler was helpful or a gigantic pain in the
ass. Everywhere we went she was right there, keeping everyone in line and on focus. Remembering some of the troubles Matt used to have when he’d solely managed the group, I did appreciate how
difficult her assignment was—just wrangling Griffin was a full time job—but she had an edge of bitchiness about her that got on everyone’s nerves.

And she was constantly interrupting tender moments between Kellan and I. Consciously or subconsciously, she found ways to keep us apart while we were in public. Our short second of PDA in the
lobby of the L.A. radio station was the last moment we had for a while. We didn’t even get to sit on planes together. But through the chaos, we still found time to appreciate each other.
Kellan said we had to, otherwise none of this was worth it. I agreed. We passed romantic notes back and forth, and Kellan slipped me rose petal messages when Tory wasn’t looking. I
wasn’t sure where he was getting the flower petals—hotel lobbies, street vendors, green rooms—but whenever he handed me one, it brightened my day.
You’re hot, I love
you, I want you,
and my personal favorite,
Marry me
.

It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if Nick had instructed Tory to keep us apart on purpose. He wouldn’t want anyone catching on to the fact that Kellan and Sienna weren’t
really an item. And that’s what the world firmly believed after Kellan’s L.A. radio interview. Combined with the photo of their momentary lip lock, the general consensus was that Kellan
was “doing” Sienna; the gossip sites were smoldering with completely fake details of their hot relationship.

The buzz around them was so intense, I could almost feel the vibration in the air everywhere we went. Luckily, Sienna parted ways with the D-Bags after Los Angeles, so no more fuel was being
added to the fire, but Kellan was still asked about her at every interview. Every time she came up, Kellan dodged the question as best he could. A week into the promo tour, the
are-you-or-aren’t-you question was so predictable, that Kellan and I started laughing about it when we did get a chance to be alone. It was all we could do at that point. Roll with it, or
roll over.

Leaving the last interview for the day, Kellan laid his head back on the headrest of the rented SUV we were traveling in. “I’m so tired,” he murmured. We were halfway through
the tour, making our way up the east coast.

Resting my head on his shoulder, I grunted some sort of agreement. Endless shuffling around was surprisingly wearisome. I just wanted a hot bath, a good book, and a long nap . . . all with my
very comfortable Kellan-pillow, of course.

Everyone else in the car was exhausted too. Matt and Evan were quiet as mice as they sat behind us, Griffin was sitting by the driver, snoring from what I could tell. Eyes closed, I
halfheartedly listened to the radio. When a familiar song came on, I quietly started singing along. When I realized what I was singing, my eyes shot open and I stared at Kellan in shock. He looked
over at me with a furrowed brow. “What . . . ?”

His voice trailed off as he heard it too. It was
his
voice coming through the speakers. Kellan twisted to the driver, leaning forward on the seat. “Hey, man, can you turn that
up?”

The driver turned the knob and Kellan’s voice boomed throughout the car. I squealed into my hands as I bounced on my seat. Matt and Evan started freaking out in the backseat. Griffin
snorted awake, heard his bass line playing, and instantly joined in the ruckus we were making. I couldn’t even hear the song anymore over everyone laughing and hollering.

Tory had told us that the D-Bags’ song with Sienna was in heavy rotation all over the country, but we’d been so busy flying here and there and everywhere, that we hadn’t heard
it on the radio before. There was something surreal about hearing Kellan’s voice coming through the speakers.

I turned to Kellan. “You’re on the radio!”

Wide-eyed, he shook his head. “I know! What the hell?”

Tossing my arms around him, I squeezed him as tightly as I could. He was doing it. He really was doing it. And I couldn’t have been happier. Seconds later, everyone was on their cell
phones, calling someone to let them hear the tail end of the song. I was sure most everyone but us had already heard the song on the radio before—I knew my mom, Jenny, and Anna had, since
they’d called me squealing about it afterwards—but this was the boys’ first moment, and they wanted to share it. Matt called Rachel, Evan called Jenny, and Griffin called my
sister. Kellan called his dad, and I . . . called Denny.

“Hey, Kiera,” he answered, his accent warm. “You at a party or something?”

Plugging an ear so I could hear him, I shouted into the phone, “Can you hear the song on the radio?” I held the phone up to the front of the car, then pulled it back to my ear.
“It’s Kellan’s song! He’s on the freaking radio!”

I started laughing and could just make out Denny saying, “Yeah! I’ve heard it. They’re playing it nonstop here.”

As the song ended, the driver turned the radio back down. Cell phone conversations quieted to soft chuckles and exclamations of wonder. Kellan clasped my thigh as he talked to his family. I
could see the glow in his eye, and could just imagine his father telling him how proud he was . . . and how amazing those words probably felt to Kellan, since he’d never heard a parent say
them.

Now that I could hear better, Denny’s words struck me loud and clear. “I saw the latest pictures running around. You, uh, okay with it?”

Wondering if Denny knew the public perception of Kellan and Sienna was unfounded, I told him, “They’re not together, you know. The gossip sites are wrong.”

Denny sighed, and I could easily picture him running a hand through his chunky, dark hair. “Yeah, that’s what Jenny says too, but, uh, she’s . . . in the minority. Most of the
people I’ve talked to think Kellan and Sienna are hooking up. Sorry.”

I frowned at this news. “Why would I still be with him if he was with Sienna?”

Denny hesitated, clearly not wanting to answer. Eventually, he did, though. “Kellan’s . . . on the fast-track to becoming rich and famous . . . a celebrity. They assume you put up
with it because of his status.”

I scoffed. “That’s not me. I don’t care about any of that. If anything, it just makes everything harder!”

“I know, Kiera,” he said soothingly. “That’s why I don’t really buy the rumors. Because I know you, and I know you wouldn’t put up with him cheating on
you.” As guilt flooded me, he added, “We’re a lot alike in that way.”

Everyone else was finished with their conversations while I sat with my mouth open, not sure what I was supposed to say. In the end, I simply told him, “Yeah, I know.” After a moment
of silence, I added, “I have to go, but I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Okay. Tell Kellan congratulations for me.”

“I will.”

Kellan was staring at me when I ended the call. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, he said, “Gavin hadn’t heard it yet.” He let out a deep laugh. “I think he was just
as excited as me. Hailey too.” He wiggled his fìnger in his ear, like it was ringing.

Smiling, I held up my phone. “Denny says congratulations. He heard it the other day.”

Kellan was all smiles, so I didn’t mention the rest of the conversation I’d had with Denny. I’d tell him later. For right now, I wanted him to enjoy his moment in the sun. He
deserved it.

Two weeks into the promo tour, we flew back to L.A so the guys could shoot the “Regretfully” music video with Sienna. There was a feeling of melancholy in the air
when Kellan and I returned to our room at the record label’s house. And it wasn’t just because we were dead tired. We’d been so busy promoting the album that the video had happily
slipped our minds, but now it was all we could think about. Neither one of us was excited about it. Kellan had to pretend to make love to another woman. And I had to watch it, so that my mind
didn’t blow it up into some crazed, passionate porno. I’d always heard that filming love scenes was antiseptic and clinical. I hoped that was true.

On the morning of the shoot, I tried to alleviate the tension by waking up before Kellan and surprising him with a heart-pounding lovemaking session, but the reason behind the attack was all too
obvious for both of us, and the intimate moment was laced with a fine layer of desperation.

Kellan was quiet on the ride to the studios. The rest of the guys were a bundle of energy and ceaselessly chatted about how excited they were to have an official video being produced. I was torn
on the matter, both excited and full of dread.

The limo that Sienna had arranged for us took us right into a movie studio lot. Huge, long rectangular buildings were stretched as far as the eye could see. Each building had a number on it, and
as the driver slowly made his way through the maze, I couldn’t help but wonder what masterpieces were being filmed all around me. Just the thought plastered a huge grin on my face that made
Kellan chuckle. That made my smile even wider; being amused by me was far better than being sullen.

We stopped at a building labeled B7. The driver let us out and pointed over to where we should go. It was unnecessary, since Sienna was standing in the doorway, waving at us with a glowing smile
that could probably light up a small city. Dressed in a white tank top and skinny jeans that must have been molded onto her body they were so tight, Sienna looked flawless. Did she come in looking
like that, or had she already been to hair and makeup?

Her long black locks sparkled in the sunshine as she approached us. Tossing her arms around Kellan, she kissed each one of his cheeks in greeting. “So good to see you all again,” she
cooed.

Holding his hand out for me, Kellan gave her a polite nod. Not at all bothered that Kellan and I were physically connected, Sienna looped her arm around his elbow and pulled him into the
building. People in headphones were everywhere. There was so much activity that I instantly felt out of place just by standing still. I felt like I should be doing something, I just had no idea
what it was.

As the boys gawked at the production before them, Sienna started showing us around. There were multiple sets inside the studio building, but we’d only be using a few of them. Really,
we’d mostly be using two. There was a set that was dressed up like a stage. That one filled me with warmth and comfort—there were few things on this earth more natural than Kellan on a
stage. The stage set would be used for filming the band all together. Their scenes would be small snippets that would be tucked around the heart of the video. And the heart of the video centered
around set number two—a wide room with a huge bed as the main focal point. Seeing that set made my stomach churn in unpleasant ways.

Giving me a concerned glance, Kellan squeezed my hand harder. As Sienna sat on the bed, giggling in a coquettish way, I began to be filled with doubt that I could watch this. Just seeing her
sitting on the mattress made me want to lose my stomach. But it wasn’t real, and I could handle it. I’d handled much worse already.

Just as Kellan was about to say something to me, we were approached from behind. Dressed in his trademark impeccable suit, Nick strode into the room with a tall man with hair longer than my
sister’s. Pulled back into a neat ponytail, the blond locks almost reached his backside. Nick gave Sienna a snake oil smile, holding his arms wide open. “Sienna, baby, you look
fantastic.”

She melted under his praise, leaping off of the bed to give him a kiss on the cheek in greeting. “As do you, Nicholas.”

Wrapping an arm around his pop star prodigy, Nick turned to Kellan. “Good to see you, Kellan.” He lifted an eyebrow; the look oozed triumph, like he’d known all along that
Kellan would agree to this.

Jaw tight, Kellan nodded. Ignoring the heat in Kellan’s gaze, Nick indicated Ponytail Man. “Boys, this is Diedrich Kraus, visionary genius.” He indicated the D-Bags.
“Diedrich, this is Kellan, Matt, Evan, and Griffin.” He squeezed Sienna’s waist. “And you already know Sienna.”

Trying to ignore the fact that I was completely skipped over in the introductions, I watched Diedrich smile at Sienna and then address Kellan. Reaching out for his hand, he spoke in a thick
accent that I couldn’t quite place. Swedish, maybe? “It is very excellent to meet you.” Clasping both of his hands around Kellan’s, he exclaimed, “The camera is going
to love you! You and Miss Sexton are going to sizzle every piece of equipment in this place.”