Reckless (7 page)

Before she could comment further, I popped into the bathroom and quickly locked the door behind me. I just knew that ninety percent of my wedding would be mapped out before Mom left. Who knew
she was so obsessed with weddings? We’d certainly never discussed it before this. It just hadn’t really come up when I was with Denny.

Maybe Mom saw the connection between Kellan and I, and knew, just like I did, that I’d found
the one
. My soul. My better half. My reason for being. Nothing in this life would ever
fill me with as much joy and peace as Kellan did. I really didn’t know what I would do without him.

When I came out of the bathroom after my obscenely long shower, Kellan was back in our bedroom, but he’d changed into his track pants and he was lacing up his running shoes. My expression
must have been an odd one, for he did a double take when he noticed me. Of course, that could have been because all I was wearing was a thin, white towel that barely covered my body. I really
needed to do laundry.

An amused smile on his lips, he finished tying his shoes.

“What?” I asked, closing the door behind me.

Kellan shook his head, his grin growing. “Nothing.” I started to again ask what was entertaining him so much, but he finished with his shoes and stood up. “I’m going to
go for a quick run.”

“All right.” Wondering if my dad had been hard on him in my absence, I added, “Everything okay?”

His deep blue eyes drifted down my nearly naked body. I was instantly aware of the fact that I wasn’t wearing any underwear. When his eyes returned to mine, there was a definite edge of
heat in them. “Everything’s fine. Just need to do a little maintenance.” Switching his expression to a casual smile, he ran his hand up his shirt and patted his rock hard abs.
Lucky hand
. Walking over to me, he withdrew his hand from under his shirt, then reached down to pinch my butt. “Wouldn’t want to get all flabby now that I’m
married.”

I giggled and batted his hand away when it started drifting up my towel. Slinking my arms around his neck, I let myself get a little lost in his physical perfection. “I’d rather have
you flabby than gone.”

Kellan held me close to him; he looked a little lost himself as he gazed at me. “I just need . . .” He paused for a second and then told me, “I need a little fresh air.”
He gave me a quick kiss and seemed perfectly at ease, but I swear he’d just altered what he was going to say to me. Or maybe I was just being paranoid. Our relationship hadn’t always
been the most honest one. But we’d sworn that we were going to hold nothing back from each other anymore, and I trusted him.

Nodding, I released him. His smile never faltered, but I thought the light in his eyes dimmed a little as he turned away from me. Opening my dresser, I watched Kellan as he started to open the
door. He stopped before he did, though. Laying his head against the door jamb, he muttered, “Damn it, I can’t do this.”

Ignoring my clothes, I twisted to him. “Kellan?” Was I right just now? Had he lied to me?

Inhaling a deep breath, Kellan stared at me in silence for several long moments. The tension in the room tripled as each second ticked by. The cool air washed over my damp skin, chilling me, and
each drop of water that fell from my hair felt like an icicle piercing my body. I started to shake as my nerves amplified the sensation.

Seeing my fear, Kellan took a step toward me. “You said complete and total honesty, right?”

I nodded, not able to talk yet. Kellan looked away. His mind was clearly spinning over some problem. I just didn’t know what it was. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I managed to ask,
“What is it?”

He looked back at me. “I’m sorry. I purposely misled you right now. I’m not leaving the house because I want to exercise, or because I want air. I need to do something . . .
and I need to do it alone.”

The ice settling over my skin instantly burst into flames; I swore I could hear the sizzle. “You . . . lied to me? About what? What exactly do you need to do alone?”

Kellan cringed and held his hands up. “See, I wanted to avoid this reaction, that’s why I lied. But we’re trying to do the honesty thing, so I changed my mind and decided to
tell you the truth. So don’t get mad.”

So hot with anger that I felt like my hair was going to dry by itself in the next five seconds, I bit out, “But you haven’t told me the truth. You haven’t told me anything.
You’re being vague and mysterious . . . and I don’t like that.”

Kellan closed his eyes. “It would have been easier to just keep walking.” I started tapping my foot, and Kellan slowly reopened his eyes. “Joey called while you were in the
shower. I’m going to go meet with her, and I want you to stay here with your parents.”

My jaw dropped. “No! I don’t want you to meet her without me. I’m coming with you!”

Kellan shook his head. “I don’t want you anywhere near her. I want you to stay here.” His tone was firm, commanding. It really pissed me off.

“You’re not the boss of me. If I want to go—” Sighing, Kellan turned away from me. I grabbed his elbow and swung him around to face me. “Hey, I wasn’t done
talking to you.”

Mouth set in a firm line, Kellan retorted with, “I know I’m not the boss of you, Kiera. I got that loud and clear when Denny walked back into your life and you didn’t say a
word to me. But you’re not the boss of me either, and if I want to do this on my own, then I will.”

With that, he turned and left. And I let him.

Tears were stinging my eyes as I sat on the bed. Absolute honesty wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

I fumed for a long time after he left. My dad tried to make me feel better by telling me that maybe Kellan wasn’t the right person for me. He stopped talking when my cold glare turned
deadly. My mom was suspiciously quiet as she flipped through a wedding magazine; I had no idea where she got the magazine, but by the delight on her face as she scanned the pages, and her silence
at my obvious displeasure, it was clear she was hoping Kellan and I would patch things up soon. And I wanted to. I didn’t like being angry with him. I didn’t like it when we snipped at
each other.

I knew disagreements were inevitable, though. It was finding a way through the disagreements that made a relationship work, or broke it apart completely. Kellan and I had fought many times
before, but it seemed like most of our fights were over the big stuff. We hadn’t had the tiny spats. Not really. This was all sort of new for us, and I really didn’t know how to handle
it.

All I kept thinking about while he was gone was what he might say or do with Joey. Well, no, I didn’t really think he’d do anything with her. He loved me, considered us married. He
wouldn’t break that for some floozy he’d had sex with years ago.

So was I scared over what he’d say? Well, no, I pretty much knew what he’d say. He’d call her names, tell her she was a huge mistake, and throw a wad of money at her, hoping to
shut her up. I smiled at the image of him all ticked off. He was absurdly attractive when he was angry.

My tiny smile thawed my nerves. No, I wasn’t worried or concerned about
Kellan
in all of this. It was the unknown element. It was Joey. I didn’t know what she would do or
say to him, and that made me anxious. And that’s exactly the reason Kellan didn’t want me to go. He did know her, used to live with her. He knew she had a fiery temperament. He was
trying to protect me by meeting her alone, and I’d bitten his head off for it.

My anger faded as I considered Kellan’s view of the situation. He must be embarrassed. Not for the tape, but for the way it was exposed—in front of my parents and me. He wanted Joey
appeased so she’d move on. He must have known that bringing me along would only drag out the process, or possibly even halt it all together. Surely Joey would say or do something that would
offend me, and I’d end up going off on the woman. Kellan was probably right about having me stay behind. If I were him, I think I would have wanted me to stay behind too.

When Kellan finally came home about an hour and a half later, my anger had vanished. Everyone looked over at Kellan when he entered the house. He inhaled a deep breath as he shut the door. He
cast me nervous glances, not ever fully turning to look at me. His hair was dripping with sweat and his arms glistened. I figured he’d decided to go for a hard run after all. Maybe he’d
needed it after dealing with that trollop.

Knowing I needed to apologize, I set down the notebook that I’d been writing in and cautiously made my way over to him. He looked away from me and murmured something about needing a shower
before heading out to the airport. A slice of pain went through me at the thought of him leaving, but right now, his avoidance was concerning me more. As I walked into the entryway, he turned and
bounded up the stairs.

“Kellan?”

He disappeared around a corner, but tossed out, “I’ll be right back . . . just need to clean up.”

I tried not to interpret that in any way other than honesty; he was sweaty and wanted to be fresh for his trip. Briefly glancing back at my parents, I followed Kellan up the stairs. He was
examining himself in the bathroom mirror when I caught up to him.

“Kellan?” I asked again.

He looked over at me and I gasped. In the mirror I could see an angry red line of torn and bloodied skin. It started at his cheek and stretched down to his jaw. That’s why he
wouldn’t look at me downstairs—that bitch had attacked him.

“She hit you?” My heart surged as I rushed up to him.

Kellan glanced at his injury in the mirror, then sighed when he realized I could see it in the reflection. “I’m fine, Kiera.”

Grabbing his face, I carefully twisted his head to examine the wound more closely. “She drew blood. That bitch drew blood!”

“It’s fine.” He smirked. “It’s not the first time a woman has cut me.”

I ignored his provocative reference to our steamy tryst in an espresso stand, my eyes watery. His smile slipped away from him as he examined my face as surely as I was examining his.
“Things . . . didn’t go very well. Maybe you should have tagged along after all.”

I cupped his uninjured cheek. “Maybe it’s better that I didn’t. I probably would have gotten arrested for assault.”

A faint smile lifted Kellan’s lips, but it quickly faded. “I’m sorry I was sort of an ass to you. I just didn’t want you involved in her ugliness.”

I stroked his moist skin with my thumb. “I’m not involved with her, I’m involved with you, and I wanted to be there to support you. “

Kellan looked down, his face a mixture of appreciation and concern. “I know. I just . . . I know her, and I knew how she’d be.” He glanced up at me. “Especially now that
she knows what you mean to me. I wanted to protect you.”

I gave his chin a light kiss; his skin was slightly salty. “I’m not weak. I can handle it.”

Kellan’s smile was peaceful as he sat on the bathroom counter. “I know you’re not weak. I think I’m the weak one. I needed to know you were safe, protected. I
didn’t want you to have to hear . . .” His voice trailed off as he let his thought die. “This was all about me, Kiera . . . and I’m sorry.”

I could easily imagine just what Joey would have said to me—every intimacy she would have described, every bad behavior she’d witnessed from Kellan. She would have tried to drive a
wedge between us, just because she hadn’t been able to turn Kellan into one of her boy toys. It only reaffirmed to me just how dangerous jealousy could be.

Straightening my shoulders, I laced my arms around Kellan’s neck. “You can stop apologizing, you know. I forgave you a while ago.”

His smile broad, Kellan wrapped his arms around my waist. The jagged line along his jaw didn’t look quite as bad with his eyes glowing with happiness. “Yeah?”

Stepping closer to him, I shrugged a shoulder. “Of course. You and I aren’t always going to agree; we’re not always going to get along.” Careful to avoid his cut, I
grabbed both of his warm cheeks. “And . . . I am so proud of you for telling me the truth when you really wanted to lie. That means more to me than . . . well, that means everything.”
My throat closed up on me, and I had to swallow to relieve the pressure.

Kellan’s eyes searched mine as he nodded in my hands. Moisture pricked my eyes as I thought of the many lies that had speckled our relationship. Honesty, while painful at times, was the
best thing we could do for each other.

Before the emotion of the moment could sweep me away, I made my mood brighten and asked him, “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Kellan gave me a long, drawn-out sigh, reminding me that neither one of us slept last night. I stifled a yawn after that realization. “She wanted to meet here at the house, but I told her
I’d meet her around the corner. I wanted to beat her there so she didn’t show up here anyway, so I didn’t have time to go to a bank. I didn’t have enough cash, and she
freaked out when I wrote her a check for the rest. I offered to drive with her to a bank, but she smacked me, and I told her to fuck off. I went for a run after that to blow off some steam.”
Bitch
. He rolled his eyes while I narrowed mine. “She’s a touch crazy. I don’t know how I ever lived with her.”

I was more wondering how he’d ever slept with her. But he was already irritated, so I didn’t say it. Kissing my head, he murmured, “I just want to shower now, get ready to
go.”

I stepped back so Kellan could step away from the sink. I hated that he was leaving today and I wasn’t. I wished he could stay. I wished I could leave. But wishing doesn’t change
anything, and we would both have to be patient. Kellan turned on the water as I shut the bathroom door. I took over his spot on the counter and watched him adjusting the temperature of the shower.
Hopefully the hot water had refilled since my epically long shower earlier.

When the water was perfect, Kellan took off his shoes, socks, and T-shirt; the damp shirt clung to his skin as he removed it. Once it was visible, my eyes fixated on the tattoo over his heart.
It was a good thing Joey hadn’t seen my name etched into his skin. Kellan might have received more than a bloody line across his face. But Kellan didn’t often show his tattoo to the
world. It was ours, private. I would really miss seeing the scripted letters when he was gone. Just one of a thousand things I would miss.