Reckless (9 page)

Our group headed inside the bar to have a congratulatory toast for the band before their taxi arrived to take them to the airport. The night crew wasn’t on yet, but a few familiar faces
were around: Hun, Sweetie, Emily, and Troy, the bartender with a never-ending crush on Kellan. He perked up considerably when we walked in together.

When we all turned to head to the band’s usual table, I stopped in my tracks. A man I knew very well was sitting at the table, waiting for the band. Denny Harris, the ex–love of my
life. Kellan noticed who had my attention and stopped too. Denny stood up, hands casually tucked in the pockets of his jeans.

Denny had changed a bit since coming back to Seattle. He seemed older, more mature. There was a confidence in the way he carried himself, and his dark brown eyes simmered with self-assurance. He
just seemed to know who he was and what he wanted, and that wasn’t me anymore. He was hopelessly in love with his girlfriend, Abby. It had hurt at first that he’d moved on—but I
had too, and I couldn’t be happier for him now.

Denny grinned at us as Kellan scoffed in astonishment. We crossed over to him, and Kellan immediately pulled him in for a one-armed hug. “You came to see me off?”

Denny shrugged. “You guys are about to hit it big. This might be the last chance I get to see you.”

Kellan looked away, a small smile on his lips. “I don’t know about that.” He looked back at Denny. “But I’m glad you’re here.”

I stepped up to give Denny a hug after the two friends pulled apart. Since I was sure Kellan was still a little uneasy about me being too friendly with Denny, regardless of how many times
he’d told me he was fine with our friendship, I kept the hug as brief as politely possible.

Denny turned to the other band members once he’d greeted me. As everyone squished around the table, I took a seat catty-corner to Kellan. When Denny was finished congratulating everyone,
he took the only empty spot, next to me on the end of the table. Ironically, Denny, Kellan, and I were sitting in the exact same seats as the first time Denny and I had joined the band for a
beer.

Denny looked over at me as Kellan ordered the table of round of shots. I saw a soulful expression pass over my ex’s face. Maybe he too was pondering how drastically things had changed for
us. I raised an eyebrow at him in silent question, and his contemplative mood evaporated. With a slight chuckle, he shook his head and turned to watch Emily approaching our table with our
drinks.

Kellan was watching me as shot glasses were set in front of everyone. I didn’t feel the twinge of guilt I used to feel when we were all together. Instead, I grabbed Kellan’s hand and
kissed his fingers, letting him know that I was his, bound in my soul.

Kellan gave me a smile that was loose and easy. He understood. My mom watched the dynamic between the three of us with a crease on her brow. I think it still blew her mind that we were all
friends, especially since she now knew exactly what had transpired between Kellan and me.

When everyone had their shots—except my sister, of course, who was at the other end of the table staring at a cup of apple juice like it was toxic—we lifted them to make a toast.

Matt opened his mouth to speak, but his loudmouthed cousin beat him to it. “To fame, fortune, and scores of loose women!” Griffin downed his shot while the rest of us stared at him;
Dad glowered, but then again, he usually did around Griffin.

When Griffin smacked his empty glass on the table, Matt continued with his toast like nothing had happened. “To good friends and good music. May we always have both.”

“Here, here.” We all clinked glasses, Denny and I stretching across the table to reach Anna and Rachel, then we downed our potent drinks. It burned, but Matt’s well-wishes made
the sting worth it.

We all talked, reminisced, and enjoyed each other’s company until a sullen Troy walked up to the table. Eyes on Kellan, he told the group, “Your cab is here.” My heart sank a
little, and I fortified my stomach. Goodbyes were just a way of life with Kellan, and I had to get used to them.

Matt glanced at a clock on the wall and smiled; being the pseudo-manager of the group, he had made all of the travel arrangements. Keeping his motley crew on task and on time made him happy.
Kellan helped me stand up, and we all headed out to the parking lot. Sure enough, the taxi Matt had arranged for them was there.

The band began their goodbyes. Kellan gave me a quick kiss before turning to say goodbye to the people he wasn’t sure when he’d see again. He hugged my mom, shook hands with my dad,
and rubbed Anna’s belly. He gave Rachel a friendly hug, lifted Jenny a foot in the air while she giggled, and clapped Troy on the shoulder. Troy’s grin was glorious after that. While
Kellan was busy, I said my goodbyes to Evan and Matt. Evan gave me a huge, lung-crushing bear hug, Matt a gentle, reserved squeeze. I kept my distance from Griffin, waving at him from the other
side of the group. Then Kellan was standing by my side again.

Lacing my fingers with his, he looked over at Denny and extended a hand. “Watch over my girl for me?” Denny’s expression blanked as he glanced between Kellan and me. Kellan
smirked and added, “But not too well, okay?”

Denny let out an amused grunt. “Wouldn’t want that . . .” He grabbed Kellan’s hand, shaking it firmly. “Yeah, I’ll keep an eye on her. She’ll be
apples.” I giggled at Denny’s saying and he gave me my favorite goofy grin. But when he released Kellan’s hand, his face turned serious. “I hope things work out for you,
mate.”

Kellan grinned and looked down on me. “Yeah, me too.” By the look in Kellan’s eyes, I couldn’t tell whether he meant hitting it big, or not hitting it big. I got the
feeling that, as long as we were together, either scenario was fine. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I laid my head on his shoulder.

Kellan gave me one final squeeze and whispered, “See you soon.” I nodded as I watched him sprint over to his car to get his only piece of luggage—the black case holding his
prized guitar. Slinging it over his shoulder, he sauntered back to the taxi. The driver packed it in the trunk for him while Kellan slipped into the backseat. I had to bite my lip to stop the
sadness from building. I would join him shortly . . . I could wait.

After every band member was tucked into the taxi, it pulled away. Kellan was by the window, and he stuck his hand out of it to wave at me, his wedding ring gleaming in the afternoon sun.
Grinning like an idiot, I waved until the taxi turned a corner and disappeared from sight.

Denny looked over at me when I let my hand fall to my side. “So, how’s married life treating you, Kiera?” His accent wrapped around my name in a wonderful way. Despite how our
relationship had changed, the sound of his voice was still fascinating to my ears.

I studied his dark eyes, looking for any sign of pain. There didn’t seem to be any as he casually stood beside me. As I considered everything that had happened in the very short span of
time since my impromptu wedding, I shrugged. “Good . . .” Remembering Joey’s unexpected visit, my voice gave out on me.

Denny caught the uncertainty. “You don’t seem so sure about that.”

A part of me really didn’t want to talk about my marital problems to Denny. After everything that had happened while we were a couple, it felt wrong to confess my hardships. Didn’t I
deserve them? But Denny was an exceptional human being, and once he’d forgiven someone, he let go of the pain and resentment and moved on. Well, he tried to anyway. I’d seen him
struggle with being around me. I’d heard the pain of betrayal in his voice. But he hadn’t fled. He was still in my life. He was still my friend. And I owed him an honest response.

“There was an incident at the house,” I muttered, looking back at my parents, who were talking with Anna, Jenny, and Rachel.

“Kellan’s jaw?” I returned my eyes to Denny. “You do that?” he asked.

I smirked at him. “No. His ex-roommate came by . . .”

Denny, his mind a steel trap at times, remembered who she was. “Joey? The girl who took off after she slept with him?”

A twinge of something awful stirred in my stomach, but I pushed it down. “Yeah, Joey. Anyway, she came back for her stuff, but I sort of tossed it a while ago. Kellan had to pay her for
it.”

“Well, that seems reasonable, considering it
was
hers.” He paused, then added, “I’m guessing there’s more to the story. What else happened?”

I really didn’t want to tell Denny about this, but I had to tell someone, and aside from Jenny, Denny was my best friend. “She gave him back their . . . sex tape . . . then made him
pay her for it.”

Denny didn’t answer me for a long time. I could tell his mind was spinning, and he wasn’t sure how to answer. As a gust of warm air swirled my hair around me, I wasn’t sure
what I wanted him to say. Maybe nothing was best. I stared at my feet and kicked a pebble on the cement while I waited for some sort of response.

“If she gave it back before he paid her . . . then it wasn’t her only copy. You’ll hear from her again,” he said.

My eyes shot up to his. I hadn’t considered that. I knew that other sex tapes were out there, but I hadn’t thought about Joey duping Kellan. She’d brought it to the house to
return it before she’d known about me. She’d acted like it was the only copy she’d had, and that she despised Kellan so much that she didn’t want it near her anymore. Of
course, maybe that was an act, her way of showing Kellan that she didn’t need him, that he was beneath her. She seemed like the type to hold on to trophies of her conquests, and what greater
trophy could she have than video footage? Denny was right; she had multiple copies. She hadn’t ever intended to give Kellan the only recording.

Denny looked apologetic and sympathetic. “I don’t know her so I can’t say for sure, but if he does make it big, I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried to make some money
off of it. It could be everywhere someday, Kiera. Sorry.”

Sighing away those future troubles, I told him, “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter, not really.” Denny raised an eyebrow at me, and I laughed. The release felt good and lifted
a bit of the apprehension from the air. “She doesn’t have the only movie of him like that, so she won’t get a very good price. Oversaturation and all.” I wanted to grimace
over the thought of multiple sex tapes on the market, but the look on Denny’s face was priceless, and I laughed again.

Denny shook his head. “You
have
changed.”

I smiled and shrugged, trying to be as okay with this as I could be. Kellan’s life wasn’t private anymore, and parts of it were going to be uncomfortable for both of us. But I knew
his heart, and he knew mine, and together we would work through the rough patches.

As I pushed away the bad and focused on the good, Denny rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe he filmed himself.” Closing his eyes, he added, “Actually, yeah, I can.”
Denny’s cheeks suddenly flushed with color, and his eyes shot open. There was a clear question in the dark depths, one he didn’t want to ask. But the curiosity was eating at him.

Knowing where his head was at, I smacked his shoulder. “No! I didn’t let him . . . we didn’t . . . No!” I stammered, not able to put into words that I
didn’t—and wouldn’t—make a sex tape with Kellan.

Denny chuckled and backed away from me. “Sorry, it slipped into my head before I could stop it.”

Anna came up to us while Denny laughed even harder. “What’s going on?”

Anna gave Denny a cool glance, not unfriendly, but not warm either. She still hadn’t gotten over Denny’s vicious attack on Kellan, and, inadvertently, me. Denny straightened, his
laughter stopping. “Nothing. Just catching up.”

Anna narrowed her eyes, like she thought Denny was going to try and woo me away from Kellan or something. I don’t know how many times I’d told her that nothing but friendship was
between us, but I don’t think she would ever really believe me. “I’m going to go, Kiera. I need a nap.” Her eyes focused solely on me. “The girls and I are
sore.”

I twisted my lip, knowing she was
not
referring to the child in her belly. “Yeah, okay.”

As she waddled over to Griffin’s van, Mom and Dad ended their conversation with Jenny and started heading toward me. By the look on Dad’s face, I was sure he wanted to talk to me
about my plan to join Kellan.

I sighed, and Denny looked at me. “You ready for them to head home yet?”

I grinned. “Yeah.” As I waited for my parents, I pondered telling Denny that I was leaving. I suppose that should be an easier thing to tell him than confessing about Kellan’s
sex tape, but somehow, it felt harder.

Mom got distracted on her way over to me by a coin on the ground. Mom gathered every coin she could, even pennies. She kept any coin she found that was dated earlier than the seventies. She had
dozens of containers at home, full of old currency.

While Dad groaned at Mom to let it go, I quickly blurted out what I didn’t really want to say. “I’m joining Kellan in Los Angeles soon, and then I’m going on tour with
him. I’m leaving Seattle.”

Denny’s mouth opened and his face paled. He looked like I’d just socked him in the gut. A ripping pain went through me. I had never left Denny before. He’d always been the one
leaving me. As part of my soul ached, I reconsidered my belief that leaving was easier than being left. This didn’t feel easy, and I wasn’t even gone yet.

Denny averted his eyes and composed himself. Once he was more or less put back together, he shifted his attention to my parents. A sly grin lightened his face, but not his eyes. “I
remember when we told your dad we were leaving Ohio.” He looked back at me. “Good luck. You’ll need it.”

I nodded and rubbed Denny’s shoulder. A moment of grief passed between us. Grief over what we’d had together. Grief over what we’d lost. We were both in a good place now,
relationship-wise, but that didn’t mean we’d forgotten, and sometimes missed, what we’d once been.

Denny gave me a small, understanding smile that broke my heart a little. As much as I was going to miss Jenny and Anna, I think I was going to miss Denny even more. Not sure if I should confess
that to him or not, I gave him as convincing of a smile as I could. “But I’ll be coming back a lot, to check on Anna, to make sure she’s okay.”