Reckless (12 page)

The longer I sat still, the worse I felt. By the time Denny stopped the car, my stomach was churning. Feeling flushed and disgusting, I whimpered and leaned my head against the window. Denny
shot me a concerned glance. “You okay?”

I shook my head and slapped my hand over my mouth. No, I was definitely
not
okay. Denny cursed and quickly exited the car. He sprinted back for me and helped me get out and stand up. My
stomach lurched when I moved. “Denny,” I murmured, “I don’t feel good.”

I stumbled and Denny swooped me into his arms. I clamped my mouth shut, begging for the nausea to stop. It didn’t, though. Instead, it got stronger and stronger. Denny hurried us to the
house, telling me, “I know you don’t, Kiera. It will be okay, just hold on.” Tears were leaking from my eyes as he squatted down to unlock the door—I really hated being
sick.

Closing the front door with his foot, Denny rushed us upstairs. He set me down in the bathroom right as I lost control. Sinking to my knees, I noisily lost my stomach into the toilet. Denny
sighed and patted my back. He removed my bag from my shoulder while I heaved a couple more times. As I laid my head on the seat, I could hear him moistening a towel. He handed it to me and I
gratefully wiped my mouth with the warm cloth. “Thanks,” I murmured, then I threw up again.

I felt like I was sick for hours. It never seemed to end. I was a sniffling, blubbering mess, but Denny stayed by my side. When there was nothing left in my stomach, I lay down on the cool
bathroom tiles. They felt wonderful. As I closed my eyes, Denny whispered, “Kiera?”

I was so tired, I couldn’t respond.

He let out a long, slow exhale as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I wanted to open my eyes to see his expression, but my eyelids felt like lead. I felt Denny’s strong arms
scooping me up again, then he slowly walked me into Kellan’s and my bedroom and laid me on the bed. After he removed my shoes and socks, I buried myself into the covers; nothing had ever felt
so incredible in all my life.

Denny leaned over me, tucking me in, then he hesitated; I could feel his presence above me. I again tried to open my eyes, but it was like they were glued shut. After another pause, I felt his
lips lower to my hair. The tender gesture made me smile. He pulled away and I felt like he was going to leave me. I weakly reached out and grabbed his hand. I didn’t want him to go. I
didn’t want to be alone like this.

“Stay,” I croaked out. “Please.”

Denny sighed again. “Yeah, I’ll have to call Abby and let her know, but it’s fine. I’ll stay here if you need me to. I’ll be in the next room if you need
anything.”

I nodded and released his hand. I could feel sleep creeping up on me, but Denny was still hovering, so I tried to push the feeling back. He watched me in silence for a long time, then he
whispered, “I don’t know what I feel for you, Kiera . . . other than . . . I care about you. I care if you’re happy. I care if you’re sad. I care if you’re safe. And
if that’s love . . . then, yes, I guess I love you. I love you, but I’m not
in
love with you. . . . Does that make sense?”

It took a great deal of effort, but I twisted around and opened my eyes. He was giving me a soft smile . . . all three of him. I shut my eyes and nodded. It did make sense, even to my fuzzy
brain. I loved him too, I just wasn’t
in
love with him. He wasn’t my heart and soul. He didn’t consume every part of me. He wasn’t Kellan.

Denny patted my leg, then left me. Just as sleep started claiming me, my phone rang. My bag was still in the bathroom, and I heard Denny stop and dig through it. Seconds later, he said,
“Uh, Kiera . . . it’s Kellan. Should I answer this?”

My eyes sprang open. Denny answering my cell phone late at night wouldn’t look good. But not answering Kellan’s call on the last night of my shift wouldn’t look good either.
Not only that, but Kellan and I were giving total honesty a try . . . so I really didn’t have a choice. Gritting my jaw, I squeaked out, “Yes . . . please.”

I heard Denny pick up the line. He said a few words in a low voice, then he came back into the bedroom. With a hand on my shoulder, he rolled me over. My stomach tilted again. “He, um,
wants to talk to you.”

I nodded, inhaling through my nose, out through my mouth. My shaky fingers brushed against Denny’s as I took the phone from him. In an almost inaudible voice, I said,
“Hello?”

“Kiera? Are you okay? Denny said you were sick.”

There was a weird tone to Kellan’s voice when he said Denny; not quite pain, not quite anger, but somewhere in between. “I’ll be fine . . . I just . . . had a few too many
shots at Pete’s.” My insides tightened even more just saying the word “shots.”

Kellan let out an aggravated exhale. “I don’t like you getting drunk when I’m not there to take care of you.”

Without thinking, I told him, “It’s okay, Denny’s taking care of me.”

Voice tight, Kellan replied, “Yeah, I know.”

“Kellan, please don’t worry,” I murmured. “You know I love you. I married you, didn’t I?”

Kellan laughed, the tension easing from his voice. I heard Denny leave the room, shutting my door behind him. I tried not to worry if that remark had hurt him. It shouldn’t have.
He’d just said he only felt friendship for me, after all.

I groaned into the phone as my stomach flip-flopped. “Kellan, I feel awful.”

Kellan chuckled again. “Serves you right, drinking without me. And when I can’t even take advantage of you too.”

I smiled, wishing he could do to me what he did last night . . . Then my stomach lurched and I thought I might lose it in bed. No, no sexy time tonight. Breathing loudly through my mouth, I
whimpered, “I think I’m going to be sick again.”

Kellan’s voice was calming as he told me, “No, you’re not, sweetheart. You just need something else to focus on besides your stomach. Would you like it if I sang you to
sleep?”

My grin was huge as I clenched my tummy tight. “I would love that,” I told him.

A minute later, I could hear Kellan’s guitar. Then his voice filled my ear, and Kellan started performing an acoustic set of all of my favorite D-Bags songs . . . just for me. The sensuous
sound eased the distress in my belly, and my stomach suddenly felt a million times better. I wanted to listen to him all night long, but I succumbed to sleep and alcohol and nodded off into
oblivion.

I was parched when I woke up. Parched and confused. I couldn’t remember leaving the bar. I remembered imbibing way too many drinks last night, then I remembered dancing
to the band’s music . . . but I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten home. God, I really hoped I hadn’t driven home. Kellan would be furious with me.
I
would be furious
with me.

Thinking of Kellan sparked a vague memory of him singing to me, of the light twang of his guitar lulling me to sleep. I had no idea if that was a real memory, or if I’d dreamed it. It was
peaceful, though, and I smiled as I rolled onto my back.

My stomach didn’t like that—my head either.

I groaned and curled myself into a ball. I felt like I’d been brought back from the brink of death, and I silently swore to never drink again. I heard the sounds of someone else in the
house and alarm shot through me. Who was here? I relaxed as I realized that Anna must have driven me home last night. There was no way she would have let me drive drunk.

Feeling disgusting, I made myself get out of bed. I just wanted to take a shower. I smelled like vomit. I stumbled a couple of steps as I yanked off my red Pete’s shirt. Begging my stomach
to stay at a tolerable level of nausea, I unbuttoned my jeans and pushed them down. I had to steady myself against the wall to kick them across the room, toward the general vicinity of the laundry
basket. Seeing hard strands of dried gunk in my hair, I groaned again. So gross.

I could hear my sister clunking up the steps as I unfastened my bra. I flicked it toward the basket and prayed that she was bringing me a glass of water—I desperately needed one. I tried
to shimmy out of my underwear and flick them into the laundry, but part of the fabric got stuck under my foot. Too tired and sick to be coordinated, I lost my balance and fell on my ass. Hard.

As I let out a loud curse, my bedroom door rapidly swung open.

“Anna!” I exclaimed. Surprised and embarrassed, I tried to cover myself with my hands. “You’re just as bad about knocking as Griffin! I’m not
dress—”

I stopped talking as I stared up at the person standing in my doorway. It was not my sister. It wasn’t a girl at all. “Denny? What are you—”

Denny’s face was bright red and he immediately averted his eyes from my naked body. I felt red-hot. Oh my God, I’m such an idiot. Definitely done with drinking. Memories flooded into
my brain as Denny stammered an apology and closed my door. Anna hadn’t come to my rescue last night, Denny had. Anna hadn’t watched me get sick, Denny had. And Anna hadn’t tucked
me into bed and stayed all night, just to make sure I was okay. Denny, my spectacular ex-boyfriend turned best friend, had done all of that. And I’d just flashed him. Damn it.

My stomach and head paling in comparison to my pride, I scrambled to my feet and grabbed a towel lying on the dresser. I opened the bedroom door and found Denny on the other side of it. He was
still red, still not looking at me, but holding a glass of water in my direction. “Sorry,” he muttered. “You sounded like you needed help.”

I took the glass, grateful and mortified at the same time. “Thank you.” I inhaled the water, and Denny cautiously peeked over at me. He was still dressed in the clothes I vaguely
remembered him wearing last night—nice slacks and a sharp dress shirt. There weren’t a lot of wrinkles in the shirt, so he must have taken it off before climbing into the lumpy futon
that was in our spare room.

I handed him the empty glass, wishing I had more. Denny read my mind. “I have to go to work, but I’ll get you another one before I leave. How do you feel?”

I closed my eyes. “Really, really embarrassed.” I cracked one eye open. “I’m so sorry you walked in on that.”

A tiny smile lifted Denny’s lips, and he turned his head away from me. “I meant your stomach.”

The heat in my cheeks flamed a little hotter.
Right. Duh.
“Oh, um, much better . . . thank you.”

Denny nodded and started heading back downstairs to get some more of the cool, clean water from the fridge. As he walked away, I told him, “Thank you for watching over me last night. I
really . . . I really appreciate it.”

Turning his head, Denny gave me his signature grin. “Anytime, mate. I’m sure you would have done the same for me.”

I gave him an enthusiastic nod. “I’d do just about anything for you, Denny.”

The smile on his face fell some, and I immediately knew exactly what he was thinking—
anything but remain faithful to me.
He didn’t verbalize it, though. Instead, he nodded
and turned away to finish taking care of me. Closing my eyes, I laid my head against the door. Someday I would stop feeling guilty for betraying him, right? No, probably not.

I brushed my teeth while Denny returned with more water. Even though I left the bathroom door ajar, he knocked on it. After drinking my second glass, I felt a lot better. Well, I felt like I
could shower without slipping or heaving. As Denny turned to leave, I asked him, “How are you getting your car?”

He shrugged. “I called Abby. She should be here in a minute.”

Nodding, I again told him, “Thank you, Denny.”

He told me it was nothing and gave me a small wave before turning to head downstairs. I thought I heard a car honking “goodbye” while I luxuriated in the steaming warm shower. I
wasn’t sure what Kellan would think about Denny spending the night with me, but then I remembered that he already knew. The thought made me smile. It felt good to be honest with him, to not
have any secrets for once. And as I remembered Kellan singing me to sleep, I felt even better. He hadn’t flown into a rage and hopped the first flight back into town. He’d trusted me,
even in my drunken state, to remain faithful to him. And I had.

I felt pretty proud of myself as I washed slime out of my hair. Not for overindulging on free shots—that wasn’t one of my finer moments—but for not letting alcohol sweep me
away into a remembered moment of passion with Denny. I felt like I’d been tested, and I’d passed.

Figuring I should check in with Anna, let her know I was alive and well and still coming to her appointment, I ransacked the bed for my cell phone. I found it buried in the covers; the battery
was long dead. Kellan must have sung me to sleep until my phone disconnected. I couldn’t remember when I’d dozed off, but I could easily picture Kellan keeping the line open while he
listened to me sleeping. Maybe he’d fallen asleep that way, pretending that we were in bed together. God, I hope I hadn’t snored.

When I plugged the phone in, there were several missed calls from Jenny, Kate, and Cheyenne. I let them all know I was fine, then texted Anna and let her know I was on my way.

It took twice as long as usual, but I eventually made it to my old apartment. Anna was bright-eyed and bushytailed when she got in the car. She was excited for the upcoming news—the sex of
her baby. She was having an ultrasound today, and if my niece or nephew cooperated, we’d find out whether to decorate the nursery pink or blue. Of course, Anna had “known” it was
a girl from the moment she’d accepted the pregnancy, and she’d already loaded up my old closet with dozens of outfits in pale pinks, light purples, and deep reds. It looked like
Valentine’s Day had thrown up in there. And that thought did
not
help my stomach.

Anna smirked when she noticed the color of my face. “Good night?” she asked, in an unaccommodatingly loud voice.

I cringed as I glared at her. “Not really.” Well, that wasn’t exactly true. I’d been having a great time until my liquid friends had decided to leave the party in the
most uncomfortable way possible.

Anna laughed as I focused on the road. “I feel a little bad for petering out on you. That’s so unlike me. Jenny get you home okay?”