Her parents were still in the hospital or worse. Nate was not a superhero. She was still alone. Pain shot through her body as she brought her knees up toward her chin.
“There’s water next to you.”
Her eyes opened at the sound of Nate’s voice. Christie had been here. Tam had told Nate to go to hell and stay there. Or had she dreamed all that?
With a shaky hand, she reached for the plastic glass and rose to her elbow to drink. The cool water felt amazingly good. She didn’t even care that she spilled.
When she had enough, she put the glass back. She had to go to the bathroom, a Herculean task. But she sat up, put her legs on the floor. Rested a minute, then stood.
She fully expected Nate to come to her rescue, and she planned to tell him once again where he could go, but he didn’t make a move. When she passed him, he didn’t even look at her. He just sat very still on a chair that was too small.
When she closed the bathroom door, she rested her forehead on the wood. It was too much. All of it.
IT WAS AFTER 6:00 a.m. and Christie was going to lose it if Boone didn’t get home soon. They’d never been this late. The knots in her stomach told her something had gone wrong.
She went into the kitchen to make another pot of coffee. Between her, Harper, Kate, Vince and Nate, they’d finished off so many pots they’d have to buy more when the store opened. She felt queasy from all the caffeine, but that wasn’t enough to stop her from having another cup.
Harper had switched to tea a few hours ago, but she was just as anxious. It was their men out there. If something had gone wrong, how would they know?
The guys wouldn’t come home, yes, but would that mean they were dead? Captured? In prison?
Christie’s hand shook as she counted out the spoons. She spilled water all over the counter, but screw it, she didn’t care.
All she could think of was Boone. He’d saved her. Before he’d come into her life, she’d known nothing about Omicron and believed that her brother was dead. Then the stalker had taken over her life. It was Boone who’d come to the rescue. He’d trapped the stalker, and that’s when she’d found out what a long reach Omicron had. They had been behind the stalking. They’d taken her job, her home, all her money. It was the worst thing she’d ever experienced. If it hadn’t been for Boone…
He’d been kind and strong and she loved him with all her heart. Only the discovery that Nate was alive had been as sweet.
Kate joined her in the kitchen. “Give them time,” she said. “They had so much to do.”
Christie smiled, but she knew if it had been Vince out there, Kate wouldn’t be so calm. She turned back to watch the coffee brew, hugging her middle as if it would help. Nothing would help but the truck pulling into the parking lot. She had to see him, to know that he was alive and not hurt. They’d gone too far for it to fall apart now. They’d fought impossible odds, and still they were all here.
She’d never hated anything the way she hated Omicron. They should all burn in hell, every last one of—
“The truck.”
It was Harper. She’d already opened the front door and was standing outside. Christie ran to join her, and so did Kate, Vince and Nate.
The truck stopped and there was Boone. He wasn’t bloody, he had all his limbs. But he looked like hell. Seth got out of the passenger side. If anything, he looked worse than Boone.
Her eyes went to the back of the truck, waiting to see if Cade had been hurt. But Cade wasn’t there.
NATE FELT AS THOUGH HE’D been gut shot. Cade had been taken, either by Omicron’s men or a bullet. Either way, he wasn’t coming back.
It was getting too light outside for them to stand here in the parking lot, so he ushered them inside.
He headed straight to the bedroom to check on Tam. She was on her side, curled up, and if he hadn’t known her so well, he’d have thought she was sleeping.
He couldn’t deal with her right now. It killed him to see her like this, but his friend was gone and there were things that had to be done.
He left the door open, hoping Tam would hear the conversation. He wasn’t sure what he wanted from her, except to let him in.
Seth and Boone were on the couch. Kate and Vince had taken the far corner, Harper and Christie sat on the floor, touching the guys. They were all in the debrief position and it was up to him to ask the questions.
“What happened?”
Seth and Boone looked at each other, then quickly away. They’d left a man behind, and that was not okay for two soldiers like them.
“He’s dead,” Boone said. He opened his mouth again, but he couldn’t seem to speak.
It was Seth who looked at Nate now. “We were on our way out. Something caught his uniform, and when the guards came by, they spotted him. He started yelling so we could get away.”
“We tried to get back to him but the guards were right there. They called in reinforcements and they weren’t backing down. There was no way we were going to get him out of there,” Boone said.
“And we had to get back with the intel.” Seth’s head dropped and his shoulders shook. Nate wanted to cry, too. He’d really liked the guy. They’d had some good times overseas, and while Cade hadn’t been much for the bars, he enjoyed hearing the men’s stories.
“When they pulled him out from under the fence, he put up a struggle, but it was just to get more men around him.”
Nate could see how hard Boone was holding onto Christie’s hand. To her credit, she didn’t even wince.
“The grenade did maximum damage, both in personnel and obfuscation.”
“What?” Kate asked. “What does that mean?”
Nate turned. “It means that Cade blew himself up, along with those men around him. He left minimal evidence, so they would find it difficult to identify him.”
“He blew himself—” She turned away, and Vince pulled her into his arms.
“It’s what he had to do,” Nate said, hoping like hell his voice wouldn’t give him away. “Boone or Seth would have done the same. The objective is to keep our presence here a secret.”
“You would have done that?” Christie asked, looking up at Boone. “Without even telling me that was the plan?”
Boone looked guilty, but he nodded. “I didn’t want you to worry any more than you had to. I’m sorry, but it’s the risk we take.”
Tears ran down her cheeks, but she didn’t argue with him. Harper had wrapped her arm around Seth’s leg, and his hand was on her shoulder.
“What now?” Vince asked quietly.
“We assume Omicron’s been alerted to our presence. Pack everything, even the trash. We leave here at nightfall.”
“Where are we going?”
“There’s an abandoned apartment building about twenty miles north of here. We’ll stay there. Vince, you need to get all the cash from the bank. Kate, get with Eli, tell him we’re a go the day after tomorrow. Remember, nothing gets left behind.”
“I haven’t finished.”
The voice startled him, and Nate turned to the bedroom door. Tam was leaning on the wall looking pale and shaky. “You haven’t finished what?” he asked, and even he noticed the change in his own demeanor. From a commander to a concerned lover in a heartbeat.
“I haven’t finished my assignment. The notes aren’t ready.”
“I’ll pack your gear,” he said, wanting more than anything on earth to take her away from all this. To keep her safe. But he couldn’t make anyone safe. Soldiers, civilians, women, kids. All he could do was fight.
“I’ll get started,” she said, heading toward the door. She had to pass him closely, there was no other choice. But she didn’t look at him, and he didn’t try to touch her.
“Did he have family?” Kate asked.
Nate’s gaze had followed Tam, and the question stopped her with her hand on the knob.
“Cade’s parents live in Idaho. He has an older brother and a younger sister, and he left behind his college sweetheart. Her name is Ellen.”
“They were engaged,” Tam said. “He wrote to her, every night, even though he couldn’t mail the letters.” She went outside. Nate watched until the door closed behind her.
SHE FELT HEARTSICK. Tam felt so weary she could barely walk to her room. She’d liked Cade. He’d been quiet and sweet, and damn it, she’d had a strong suspicion he’d had a little crush on her since the day they’d met, despite his love for Ellen. It was easy to see he’d been raised by an old-fashioned family.
They were right around the same age, but he couldn’t help calling her ma’am. Or maybe that had been the soldier in him. She’d never know.
She made it inside her room and her gaze went straight to the bed. The sheets and pillows were still messed up from when she’d had sex with Nate. The realization that she’d been in bed with him while her parents’ house had exploded around them had come to her earlier, and now she could add Cade’s death to the picture.
God, she couldn’t think about that if she expected to get anything done. She went to the computer, turned it on and then grabbed her notebook from under the table.
Her life might have fallen apart, but she still had a life and she owed it to Cade to get busy. Tam couldn’t imagine the strength it had taken to pull that pin on the grenade. It was unimaginable, and yet as she’d listened to Boone and Seth relate how he had died, the truth of her situation hit her.
Her parents were injured because of the evil men behind Omicron. Men who thought innocent lives were as disposable as garbage. Men whose self-righteousness made them a threat to anyone in their way. Seth’s hand. Cade’s life. Her parents. They were nothing to those men. They’d wiped out whole villages. What was one soldier? Or a couple mourning what they assumed was the death of their daughter?
She didn’t know what the body count was but if she had anything to do with it, it wouldn’t get any higher.
She double-clicked on the program she needed to finish her work. There was a lot more to do, and no matter what, she would get it done right.
Ten minutes after she began typing, Nate walked in. He didn’t speak to her, but she could feel his presence as he took out his duffel bag and began to pack.
Her anger had ebbed and she could admit to herself that he hadn’t really lied to her. She’d felt safe with him because it was easier than facing the truth. He’d let her because he needed someone who believed he could do anything he set his mind to.
They’d both been willing participants, and it wasn’t fair to make him the bad guy. But it also wasn’t fair to make him the hero, either.
Nate was a terrific leader, there was no doubt about that. She didn’t know squat about being a soldier, but she knew he was as good as it got. Still, he was human. His troops were miniscule, his resources laughable. He was doing the best he could under the circumstances, but he wasn’t magician.
She understood now why Seth had come to talk to her about Nate. He’d seen her hero-worship and he’d worried about the inevitable crash once she pushed Nate from his pedestal. He’d been right to be concerned.
She should apologize for being so hurtful before, but neither of them could afford to be distracted. She had to transcribe. He had to pack. They had to win.
Later, when they were somewhere else, somewhere they’d never made love, she’d tell him.
THEY’D COME TO HIM, two at a time, to say they wanted one more day. That even if Omicron realized it was Cade who’d died, and therefore the rest of them must be nearby, Omicron wasn’t going to find the motel that night. They wanted to mourn, think, rest, eat, type.
Nate knew exactly what they wanted to do. They wanted to screw each other to oblivion. Kate and Vince, Christie and Boone, Harper and Seth, because, damn it, they were alive, and they might not be tomorrow.
He knew because he wanted Tam in a way that unnerved him. That made him stand at the back of his room and stare at her for a good ten minutes. All she did was type. She transcribed her notes without looking up. She wasn’t thinking about him at all.
That realization chased him out of his room, down the stairs with the duffel bag and his backpack. He’d gone to Cade’s room and that’s where the others had found him. By the time Kate and Vince had been assured of their one night reprieve, Nate was wiped out.
It hurt that he had to pack for his friend. That there was no body to bury. It hurt so much because Cade had died on Nate’s watch. He’d been so busy with Tam he’d taken his eyes off the prize.
He should have been the one out there with Boone and Seth. He should have been in better communication with his men. The plan had inherent flaws, but he was too close to see them. He’d get them all killed. And who the hell was Leland Ingram to bomb Tam’s parents’ home, and what made Senator Jackson Raines think he deserved to live another second when a good man like Cade Huston was dead?
A searing pain shot through Nate’s hand and he looked down to see blood dripping on the filthy bathroom floor. He looked around, but there was no one there, and then he saw he’d cut himself on a safety razor. Cade’s razor.
He threw the thing in the sink and hissed as he washed out the small but deep cut in his palm. He took one of the towels off the rack and wrapped his hand, then he left the bathroom to sit on Cade’s unmade bed.
They’d gotten him a single room. No kitchen, no couch. Just an old bed and a TV that didn’t get but three channels. He’d laughed about it, said he wasn’t likely to get lucky in Nevada, and that had been it. He’d eaten dinner at Christie’s. He’d taken care of the weapons. He’d written to his girl every single night.
He’d killed himself to protect his friends.
The American people would know the truth about him. His family would learn he was a hero and they’d be proud. Nate would make sure of that.
A wave of exhaustion hit him so hard he felt sick to his stomach. He laid back on the bed, the scent of Cade’s god awful aftershave all over the sheets.
To his shame, his last thoughts were of Tam, not his fallen comrade.
“TAM?”
With a gasp, Tam looked up at Kate, standing inside the room, holding a plate. “Oh, God, you scared me.”
“I’m sorry to come in like this, but I knocked and—”
“No, no, it’s my fault.” Tam glanced at the window and saw it was dark, then she looked at the time stamp on her computer. Ten past ten. Jeez. “Are we supposed to go now?”
“Nate didn’t tell you? We’re staying until tomorrow.”
“No, he didn’t.”
Kate nodded, her long dark hair striking against her white sweater. “Have you eaten anything?”
Tam shook her head, but she was more concerned with the loss of time than hunger. “I know this is a dumb question, but did all this happen today?”
“Last night and today,” Kate said softly. She came over to the table and put the plate down. It was a big ham and cheese sandwich with lettuce and tomato, along with a bag of chips and some carrot and celery sticks.
The sight of it made Tam’s stomach growl so loudly Kate raised her eyebrows. “I think you’d better eat.”
“Thanks,” she said. “I’m trying to finish this up, but I’m not that great at typing numbers. I have to look at the keyboard.”
Kate went to the bed and sat down. “Me too, and I’m an accountant, remember?”
Tam took a bite out of the sandwich. It was amazingly good. She took another, and a third before she spoke. “I know I was horrible. I’m sorry.”
Kate shrugged. “You weren’t so bad. It’s horrible that you can’t go see the people you love.”
“You miss your family, don’t you?”
“Me? Yeah. All the time. Every day. My father has a heart condition, and I’m not even sure he’s alive.”
“Shit.”
Kate dipped her head, then look up at Tam. “Nate’s doing his best, you know.”
Tam’s cheeks heated. “I know.”
“Okay. I just thought—”
“That I was being unfair. Nate’s been great to me. He’s saved my sanity and my life.”
“But?”
“It was a mistake to share this room.”
“Was it?”
Tam put her sandwich down. “It wasn’t fair to either of us. Too much going on. Too much riding on things outside of our control.”
“People don’t fall in love on schedule. It doesn’t matter what’s happening out in the world.”
“I don’t know if I agree.”
Kate smiled. “It’s okay. I’m prejudiced. I had no business falling in love with Vince. He had no business leaving his life to join our motley crew. But I’m glad we did.”
“I don’t love Nate.”
“No?”
“At least, I don’t think so. I don’t know. He was virtually my only contact for over two years. When you guys thought he was dead, he was making sure I was all right, that I had food and equipment. He was my lifeline. He still is. How can I tell if it’s love?”