Red Dirt Heart 04 - Red Dirt Heart 4 (16 page)

“Leave him alone.” Charlie might have smiled when he said it, but it was clipped enough that they got the message.

I hooked my foot around his and was rewarded with a small smile. I had a light lunch and by midafternoon, I was back in bed having another nap.

But what was supposed to be a short nap turned into a four-hour sleep. When I got up, I walked out to find Charlie lying on the sofa with Nugget snuggled against his front, both of them watching the television.

Charlie was explaining the complexities of
Die Hard 2
to his wombat. “And this is where John McClean gets the bad guys’ plane to stop. And he goes all bad-ass-cop and takes ’em all out.”

I smiled at them, and picking up Charlie’s feet, I sat on the sofa and put his legs over my lap. “I think Nugget’s first words will be ‘Yippee-ki-yay, motherfuckers’.”

Charlie laughed. “He likes it.”

“No, he likes cuddles with you. The movies he’ll suffer through,” I said. “Believe me, he’s a wombat after my own heart.”

Charlie smiled warmly at me. “You missed dinner.”

“I was so tired,” I told him. “I feel much better now.”

“Want me to get you something to eat?”

I shook my head. “Nah, maybe later.”

Charlie looked at me for a long second, then picked up Nugget and plonked him on the floor. “Sorry, little guy, you’ve been voted out,” he said to the now-disgruntled wombat. He patted the spot where Nugget had been lying. “I have a much better offer.”

I didn’t need telling twice. I manoeuvred myself out of his legs and lay down in front of him. But I didn’t face the telly. I wrapped my arms around him, buried my face in his chest and breathed him in. God, I missed him, his smell, his warmth, his touch.

“You’re missing the best part of the movie,” he said.

I snorted and mumbled into his shirt, “I much prefer this view, thanks.”

He leaned me back a bit and lifted my chin. “You feeling better?”

I nodded. “Much.”

“How much better?”

He wasn’t asking if I still felt nauseated. His eyes, his gravelly tone was asking so much more. “A lot better. All better,” I said, hooking my thigh over his.

“Trav, are you sure?”

I pushed my hips against his. “Are you gonna make me beg?”

He smiled and licked his lips. “But if you’re still not feeling one hundred percent…”

I reached between us and squeezed my aching dick. “Well, let me put it this way. I’m all overslept and undersexed. So I’m just gonna go to bed and get myself off for a couple hours.” I kissed his neck. “You’re more than welcome to join me.”

I got up from the sofa and headed straight to our room. I heard the TV click off and Charlie was half a step behind me.

* * * *

The next day as Charlie set about spending another morning with his horse, he collected some apples from the kitchen and took his hat off the hook by the door.

“What are you doing?” I asked, knowing his horse would freak out if he wore his hat.

“I told Scott I’d be wearing this in two weeks,” he answered. “And I missed half of this week because someone went and got himself food poisoned, so I better get on with it.”

And I watched as he turned the hat upside down and put the apples in it. She didn’t like it too much to begin with, pulling her head back a bit, but the smell of the apples won out. Every day that week, he fed her an apple or a carrot from his hat. He started by letting her smell the hat, once she’d eaten the food out of it. Then he rubbed it on her shoulder, by the end of the first week he could leave the hat, sitting right way up, on the dirt floor of the round yard or on one of the posts. At the beginning of the second week, she was eating out of it without hesitation and she even tried to chomp it. By the end of the second week, he could put the hat on his head. Her only reaction was to try and take it off his head, looking for an apple.

But he’d done it.

And exactly two weeks to the day, I sent Scott a picture of Charlie standing right next to his horse with his hat on his head.

Scott didn’t need to know he only wore it for about ten seconds before his horse tried to chomp it right off his head. But at least she wasn’t scared of them anymore.

She really was a different horse than the one we brought home from the sales. She looked healthier, her coat even had a shine, all brushed and clean. But she held her head differently. Her ears were forward instead of down flat, and she’d stopped twitching. She still wasn’t too pretty, but Charlie had chosen for good reason. He said he knew—he just knew—she was gonna be a brilliant stockhorse.

But first, he had to ride her. And after weeks of trust-building and getting her right, Charlie said it was time.

George, Ernie, Amos and I stood looking through the railings. Charlie had had the rug and saddle on her, on and off, over the last two weeks. She’d been ridden before apparently, but Charlie had wanted to do this on her time. And according to Charlie, her time was now.

Billy rode his horse into the round yard and kinda pushed Charlie’s horse against the railing. Not hurting her at all, just kinda keeping her confined. Billy held Charlie’s horse’s bridle while Charlie slowly put his foot in the stirrup and hauled himself into the saddle.

She just stood there, seemingly unfazed.

When Charlie had given her a moment to get used to his weight, he nudged her forward with his knees. Billy rode his horse alongside them, as a safety measure, keeping Charlie close to the railing, and she only shied a few times. But after several laps of the round yard, Billy slowed his horse and let Charlie ride around unassisted.

He pulled her left, right, to a stop, even pulled her to walk backward.

Smug bastard.

The four of us watching just shook our heads. All that time with small steps forward made for a huge difference in the end.

“Okay, open the gate,” he said. “We’ll see how she goes out in the open.”

Amos opened the gate to the round yard and Charlie led his horse out. She did okay, but she kept lifting her head, and I could tell by the bulge of Charlie’s forearms that he was trying to pull her back. But then she pigrooted and shoved hard, throwing Charlie to the dirt.

He hit the ground with a thud, and I started to run over, but George’s hand on my arm stopped me. “He’s okay.”

Billy and Ernie laughed as Charlie rolled over onto his back. His horse came straight back to him and stood over him, looking down at him. “Yeah, yeah, I’m getting up,” he said as he got to his feet and dusted himself off. He scratched her forehead. “Is this your idea of funny?” Charlie asked her.

She threw her head back and snorted, as though it was a laugh. Charlie just took her reins and got back on her with a smile.

“You okay?” I called out.

“Yep. Gonna take her for a run. Won’t be long. An hour, tops,” Charlie answered. Billy rode off with him headed east, Ernie rode a dirt bike out west to check fences and me, Amos and George just stood there.

George clapped his big hand on my shoulder. “Right, then. Excitement’s over. Back to work.”

When they returned, I met him at the stables. He was brushing her down, and she was having herself a feed of hay. “How’d she do?” I asked.

“Real good,” he said with a smile. “She did real, real good.”

“That’s good,” I told him. I could tell how proud he was, how happy he was.

“I reckon I’ve got a name for her too,” he said.

“Really?” I asked, surprised. “What is it?”

Charlie grinned a full-teeth-showin’ grin. “Harriet.”

I’m pretty sure my mouth fell open. “Harriet?”

He nodded. “Yep. It was a tossup between Amelia and Harriet, but she’s not an Amy. She’s a Harry.”

“Harry?”

He seemed proud of this development. “Yep.”

Shelby. Amelia. Harriet. “Um, Charlie?”

“Yeah?”

“If we ever
do
have kids, you’re not allowed to name them.”

Birthday wishes and forever promises.

I woke up just in time to get a kiss to the side of my temple. Or maybe it was the kiss to my head that woke me. Either way, I didn’t mind.

“Happy birthday,” Charlie said.

“Hmpfh,” I mumbled. “What time is it?”

“It’s gettin’ up time.”

“Mm-mm.” I shook my head and tried to roll back over. “Too early. Birthday boys get to sleep in.”

Charlie chuckled and kissed my bare shoulder. “Lots to do today.”

“Birthday boys don’t have to work on their birthday,” I croaked out.

He snorted. “Yeah, right.” He slapped my ass. “Come on, we need to start now or we won’t be able to do what I’ve got planned.”

That had my attention. I opened one eye. “What have you got planned?”

“It’s a surprise.” He made a face. “It’s not that amazing, so don’t get too excited. Let me put it this way, we’re not leaving the station. But if we get our work done this morning, then we have all afternoon off and tonight. I told Ma and George we won’t be back for breakfast.”

If we weren’t leaving the station, then that could only mean one thing. “Overnight camping?” I asked. “At the lagoon?”

Charlie huffed, probably because I guessed it straight away. “Well, it was supposed to be a secret, but yeah.”

I sat up in bed, grabbed his face and kissed him. “Overnight camping at the lagoon is my favourite thing in all the world.”

He smiled kinda shyly. “Mine too.”

“I’ll pretend to be surprised when we get there,” I joked.

He rolled his eyes. “Just get your arse outta bed.”

I did as he asked and stood in front of him and stretched. His eyes were fixed on my bulge-filled underpants. I grabbed my morning wood. “I know it’s not
your
birthday, but would you like to blow out the candle?”

Charlie snorted. “That’s your worst joke yet.” Then he shrugged one shoulder and looked kinda hopeful. “But yes. Yes, I would.”

* * * *

Finally we got our chores done, ate lunch with the others, packed a backpack each and set off on Texas and Harry.

Harry. I still couldn’t believe he called her Harriet.

It was the first time since Shelby died that we’d been out in the desert for a ride, just the two of us. Not for work, but to clear our heads and get some space.

And Charlie smiled the whole way.

The water at the lagoon was a bit too cool to enjoy, but it was invigorating to say the least.

After stripping down to just our shorts and dunking ourselves in the cool water, we lay on the flat rocks like lizards, soaking up the sun.

And lyin’ there with the peaceful quiet between us, staring at the sky, I knew one thing for certain. The sky was never this blue back home.

Out here, there was a reassurance in the horizon being so far away, so flat. I never once thought about the horizon back in Texas. Rakin’ through my memories, I couldn’t even recall if I ever
saw
the horizon. Just houses and trees, even on the ranch. But this? This was there in all its vast glory, and I could understand why people from long ago thought the earth was flat. It just kept going, broad, barren and truly beautiful.

And its beauty never ceased to amaze me. The sun changed the colours of reds; the landscape at breakfast time was different at lunchtime, and again at dinnertime, and I’d never, ever, tire of looking at it.

I never understood how people could think the desert was boring.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Charlie asked.

“How complex the ecosystems of deserts are.”

There was a pause, and then Charlie laughed. “Of course you are.” We were both lying on our backs, and he held his hand out blindly, aiming it in my general direction. I reached out and grabbed it, lacing his fingers with mine.

“It’s true,” I said. “I should probably be intimidated by this place, but I’m really not.”

Charlie squeezed my hand. “Intimidated?”

I chuckled. “I know, right? How could anyone be intimidated? I have a very healthy respect for it, don’t get me wrong, but I’d say my need to understand it far outweighs intimidation.”

Charlie rolled onto his side and looked at me. “You know, you’re starting to sound a lot like me.”

“You?” I said with a smile. “Now that’s something to be intimidated by.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. I don’t think you realise how intimidating you are. Not in a threatening way,” I clarified. “But in your confidence in what you do. You raise your chin at anyone who thinks they’re better than you and dare them to do better. And it’s not being cocky or arrogant. It’s being honest.”

He frowned. “Is that a bad thing? I don’t want to intimidate people…”

I tried not to smile. “Oh no, it’s not a bad thing. It’s a respect thing. I think that’s what’s intimidating about you is how much people respect you.”

“They didn’t always.”

“Sure they did. It’s just that you didn’t always think you were worth respecting. But now you see it.”

He looked at me for a long second. “Because of you.”

“Maybe.”

“There’s no maybe about it.”

I sighed, knowing there was no point in arguing. “You keep saying I saved you, but you don’t seem to realise that it was you who saved me as well.”

“What do you mean?” he whispered, concern written all over his face.

“You agreed to take on an international student program,” I said simply. “I would have spent my entire life searching this planet for my soul mate and I’d never have found you if you hadn’t agreed to taking on some Yank from Texas. So really,” I said with a smile, “you saved me a lot of time. Because I knew the second you walked into that kitchen and stole one of Ma’s scones that I’d found you.”

He blinked and blinked again, his eyes getting teary. “Oh.”

I closed my eyes and felt the warmth of the sun on my eyelids. “And the desert was just an added bonus.”

I was expecting a laugh or a snarky comment at least, but when there wasn’t one, I opened my eyes.

“Keep your eyes closed,” he said. “And don’t open them ’til I say so.”

I closed my eyes like he asked. “Charlie?”

“Just do it for me, please,” he said. “It’s a bit early, but I wanna give you your present now.”

“Present?” I asked, automatically opening my eyes and sitting up.

He scowled at me and, putting his hand on my shoulder, pushed me back down. “Please.”

“Alright,” I said, putting my hands over my eyes. I could hear that he’d moved, and then there was the sound of his backpack rustling. “I probably should say you didn’t have to get me anything, because, truly, coming out here is enough for me, but well… I’m really kinda glad that you did.” Then I thought about Charlie and his gift-giving. “Oh. It wasn’t too expensive, was it? You didn’t do something stupid like buy a clay pizza oven and have it trucked in from Adelaide.”

Charlie laughed. “Shut up. You love that pizza oven.”

“True. Can I open my eyes now?”

“Are you two? I’m sure Gracie has more patience than you, and she’s only one.”

I laughed. “But you’re taking foreverrrrrrr.”

“I’m not ready yet.”

I could hear him fumbling with something, and moving around me. What the hell was he doing? Was that a lighter I heard? “Ah, Charlie? Should I be concerned?”

He didn’t answer my question, but I could still hear him. After a long moment, he said, “Okay. Open your eyes and sit up.”

So I did.

Charlie had set out candles on the rocks around us. There were six or seven little tealight candles, the yellow flames flickering in the breeze against the late afternoon sun. Charlie sat in the middle, facing me. There was a white envelope in front of him, but he looked around at the candles. “It’ll be better in an hour or so, when the sun’s gone.”

I swallowed down the lump in my throat. “It’s pretty perfect right now.”

He smiled, all shy like. “We’ve never had a candlelit dinner before.”

“Oh, Charlie.”

“It’s just a picnic dinner really,” he added quickly, like it wasn’t somehow good enough.

“It’s perfect.”

He picked up the envelope and handed it to me. “This is for you,” he said quietly. “Happy birthday, Trav.”

I took the envelope. It was just plain white but kinda thick and heavy, and from Charlie’s excited grin, I had no clue what was in it. I opened it and saw it was from a travel agent. It was a plane ticket to… Dallas.

It was just one ticket. One ticket, in my name. Travis Craig, departing Sydney, arriving Dallas, Texas.

I didn’t know what to say.

“Travis?”

I read it, and I read it again. It was just one ticket. The dates were almost three weeks. I was going for three weeks. Again. At least there was a return flight, I reasoned in my mind. But that wasn’t the point. “You told me I wouldn’t go back on my own. You promised me, Charlie. You promised.” I shook my head and spoke to the desert instead of him. “Why are you sending me back? I don’t understand.”

“Because you miss your family. I know you do. And it’s been a year. You need to go back.”

Still not looking at him, I shook my head. “You promised.”

Charlie scooted over to kneel in front of me; he was so close our chests were almost touching, his legs on either side of mine, and he put his hands on either side of my face. He made me look at him, his eyes wide and serious. “Hey,” he whispered, kissing my lips. “You ain’t goin’ anywhere without me. Not ever again.”

Without him?
“You’re coming
with
me?”

He nodded. “I am.”

My grin was instantaneous. “For real?”

He laughed and nodded. “How on earth I’ll leave this place for three weeks, I haven’t figured out, but yes, I’m coming with you.” He pulled another ticket from where he’d hidden it in the back of his shorts and handed it to me. One ticket for a Mr Charlie Sutton.

I thumped his shoulder.

“Ow,” he cried, rubbing his arm. “What the hell was that for?”

“That’s for making me think you were sending me back alone. I damn near had a heart attack, Charlie.”

He laughed now. “I didn’t think a whack to the arm was how you were supposed to say thank you.”

I pulled him back with me so he was lying on top of me. “Oh I’m gonna thank you, alright.”

He settled his weight on me and stared into my eyes. “The look on your face when you opened it,” he said. “I thought I’d done something wrong.”

“You did!” I told him. “You made me think you were sending me off by myself.”

He put his hand to the side of my face. “Trav, for the last two years you’ve been telling me I need to trust and believe. And now here you are doubting me.”

“But there was just one ticket…”

Charlie shook his head and looked at me with fire and honesty. “Don’t doubt me, Trav. Don’t ever think for one minute I’m not in this with everything I am.”

“I don’t. I just…” I shrugged. “I didn’t know what to think.”

Charlie shook his head again, and I could see he was waging another civil war inside his mind. The kind of war that was directed at, and fought solely by, himself. “You’ve spent all this time getting me to see that I deserve you. Maybe now it’s my turn to prove to you,” he whispered, “that you belong with me. Not just here, but anywhere.”

“I do believe that,” I told him.

He ran his hand through my hair, keeping it off my forehead. “Trav, when you went back to the States last time… Letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But then you came back. You came back for me. And it was like that saying, you know, if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it never was.” He shrugged. “Well, it was kinda like that for me. You came back.”

“I was always coming back,” I told him. I swallowed hard and told him something I’d never really vocalised. “Charlie, can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“When you left that email, that
if this is your goodbye
email, it almost wrecked me.”

“You told me that.” He was staring intently into my eyes. “I’m sorry it hurt you so much.”

“You know what hurt me even more?” I asked. “Coming back here and finding that you were okay. Life had gone on without me. That kinda stung, I guess.”

“No,” he said adamantly. “No. It didn’t go on without you, and I was
not
okay.”

I smiled up at him. “But you learned that you can live without me if you had to. And I learned that maybe I can’t live without you. Maybe I need something more. Maybe that’s why I asked you to marry me.” I took a deep breath. “Because I needed that… promise… I guess.”

His eyes went wide with disbelief. “You asked me to marry you because you felt insecure?”