Red Flags (22 page)

We staggered back to our meeting area, and at
break, my team was winning. I was wincing from the pain, and while
everyone was involved in mindless chatter, I tried to block out
this sudden pang of discomfort. Becca noticed and spoke up.

“Hey Cara, you okay?”

I nodded, knowing full well that I wasn’t.
Jason was laughing with his buddies, but saw my obvious distress
and rushed over to me.

“What happened?”

I looked at him with irritation, and shook my
head, signaling that nothing happened that wasn’t acceptable for
the game.

“What fucking happened?” he growled, his jaw
tensing with each word.

I looked around and saw Stacey staring at me.
Her face was set in a scowl that was almost threatening. I turned
back to Jason, not wanting to be a baby out here amongst his
friends, and nudged him away.

“I’m fine Jason. Got hit, all part of the
game.”

He looked at me, swallowed hard, but remained
silent. I got up from my seat and my knee was throbbing. I let him
know that I was going to restroom and Becca followed me inside.

“Cara, I saw what Stacey did.” Becca said,
with concern in her voice. Trying not to play the victim, I
continued with my crusade of it just being part of the game. “No,
Stacey had it out for you. I saw her.”

“What’s her deal anyway? Why doesn’t she like
me?”

“Because you have Jason.”

“Did they date? I thought she was with
Devon?”

Becca laughed. “Um, no. She leads poor Dev
on, and he is so hopelessly into her that he just goes along with
it. Stacey and Jason were fuck buddies, like me and Chris.”

Listening to Becca -- so forthcoming with
that information made me feel a little queasy. I had no desire to
know of the endless sexual escapades that Jason and Stacey shared.
Why in the hell would Jason bring me to hang out with her?

“How long ago was this?”

“Had to have been about a year ago, but she’s
wanted him since day one. I’m newest to this group, so this is just
what I know.”

“What happened?”

“He wanted to remain the way they were, she
wanted to be his girlfriend, so he cut it off. And now, somehow,
you have him as your boyfriend, which totally pisses her off.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked, as I
peeled my jeans down, showing only my under armor shorts beneath.
My knee was swollen and my thigh already bruising.

“Because I noticed the way she was treating
you, from the second you got out of the truck. When she split the
teams, I knew what was up.”

“You two aren’t friends?”

“You could call us associates. We run in the
same circle, so we spend a good deal of time together. “ She took a
look at my knee and thigh, and her eyes shot open. “We should get
some ice on that.”

“No. I’m okay. I don’t need Jason
worrying.”

We walked back out and Jason was sitting,
away from the group, as they all conversed, laughing rather loudly.
I limped back over to where they were sitting, bypassing Jason –
suddenly angry with his lack of information. Everyone was ready for
the next round when Becca unexpectedly announced that I would have
to sit out, so unless someone else wanted to sit, that we were
done. Jason’s eyes implored me to say something to him, but I
remained silent. Everyone looked beat and decided it was best to
pack it up, and head somewhere for lunch.

“Fuck, can’t even last a whole game,” Stacey
grumbled as she walked past me.

I looked at her, astonished that she had so
much built up animosity for someone she had just met. Jason stopped
me and took my hand, holding me back from the group as they made
their way inside.

“Why are you stopping, what happened?”

“I got hit Jason, that’s all.”

“That’s not all if you can’t play anymore.
How bad is it?”

“A shot to my knee and thigh, Can we drop
this? I’m hungry.” I was blunt with him, and while he was aware
that something was up, he didn’t solicit me for any more
information.

<>

We decided on Jose’s Cantina, a family run
Mexican restaurant not far from where we were paintballing. I was
quiet the entire ride over, further pissing Jason off. Luckily, the
ride was less than 10 minutes long, because the air in the truck
was thick, and it would have taken a machete to cut through it.

We sat down and chips and salsa were placed
on the table, drink orders were taken. Three pitchers of beer was
ordered, and a pitcher of margarita. I sat despondent at the table,
and looked around to see the bright yellow walls filled with
pictures of the rich and famous that had frequented their
establishment. They had taken photos with the owner, and signed
them too.

The conversation at the table sounded mildly
entertaining, so I turned back and faced the group, putting on my
best smile, and trying to seem connected.

“Cara, how did you meet Jason?” Jared asked,
gulping down a mug of beer and burping loudly at the table.

“We met in class,” I smiled as politely as I
could, given my disgust with his lack of table manners.

“Yeah, we heard this guy had a girlfriend and
we were shocked out of our skin.” Chris threw in, and sent a smug
smile across the table in Jason’s direction. Jason, meanwhile, just
leaned back in his chair, smirking in a very cavalier way.

"Is that so unbelievable?” I asked, smiling
back at Chris.

“Actually, yeah, it is. You must be doing
something right.” Chris smiled, with a mouth full of beer filling
his cheeks like a chipmunk.

“How did you all meet?” I asked, trying
desperately to change the subject, and get Stacey’s burning eyes
off of me.

“Invictus,” Devon replied, “Jason was new to
the gym, and I showed him around, I’d been there for a couple of
years.”

I nodded my head. These were his workout
buddies and although this was the first time I was meeting them,
most of them were pretty cordial. I continued to drink the
margarita, and then excused myself to go to the restroom.

Once inside, I heard the door open and I saw
feet stop in front of my stall. I knew it was Stacey, so rather
than hide; I came out to face her. Initially opening the door and
seeing her face, I rolled my eyes at her and moved to the sink to
wash my hands. She glowered at me in the mirror.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
She asked, her face tight, not flinching an inch.

“What are you talking about?” I replied,
moving away from her to dry my hands.

“Jason. You and him. Do you know who I
am?”

“Yeah actually I do. You were his fuck
toy.”

Her mouth dropped, and she smiled, a wicked
little smile that sent shivers down my back.

“Don’t know where you get your facts from,
but you need to check them again. I was not just a fuck toy, we
dated, and just when he wanted to go to the next step, I shut it
down. He’s been trying to get me back, but I’m concerned when it
comes to him.”

I looked at her in horror, not sure if I
could believe her or not. “What next step?”

“Jason proposed to me. I accepted, but
couldn't face marriage. I wasn’t ready for that, so I shut it down.
We continued to be fuck buddies though, so I guess your statement
is half correct.” She sneered, enjoying the pain that shot through
my body. “He moved on to you, but trust me, it won’t go anywhere,
YOU my dear, are a fuck toy.” She smiled and rubbed my shoulder,
giving a half-hearted gesture of compassion.

The color must have drained out of my face
because she watered a paper towel and handed it to me. I took it,
gratefully.

“Jason was gone for a week. He saw you when,
Sunday night?” My look of horror deepened. “He was with me all day
Saturday and Sunday,” she smiled, turning quickly and heading out
of the bathroom.

My breathing was no longer rhythmic, but
frantic. I didn’t want to believe a word that came out of Stacey’s
vile mouth, but the fact that she knew when Jason saw me, and how
long he was gone, didn’t bode well for my fledgling hopes. Why
would he spend time with her, when he couldn’t spend a moment
calling or texting me? Had Becca lied to me? I threw a few handfuls
of water on my face, and made my way back out to the table.

This had been the longest lunch of my life.
Jason was having a good time with his friends, and the girls seemed
to be enjoying each other’s company. Becca looked over at me and
mouthed, you okay, and rather than rouse her suspicions, I nodded
yes. The truth was, I had just met these people, who obviously
spent a great deal of time together, so I couldn’t be sure if her
concern was authentic or not.

Jason paid the bill, because he never allows
anyone else to do so, and took my hand, leading me out of the
restaurant. I was sweating, and brooding with anger. Once we were
inside the truck, I finally allowed the dam to burst.

“Cara what the fuck happened?” His voice was
filled with angst and concern.

“Fuck you Jason. Take me home,” I shouted at
him, because that’s all I could do.

He started up the truck, shocked by my
outburst, and shook his head. We pulled out of the parking lot, and
once we hit the freeway, he finally started talking. “You have been
a fuckin’ mess all day, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Your pretty little Stacey,” I threw back at
him.

“What about her?” He asked, looking over at
me every so often.

“Why would you take me to hang out with
someone you’ve slept with – who obviously has feelings for
you?”

“That was a long time ago, and she’s seeing
Dev now.”

“Is that what you guys do, pass girls around
in your circle?”

Jason curled his upper lip, trying to gauge
what I was saying. “I don’t get what you’re talking about. I
haven’t been with Stacey like that in a long time,” he paused,
“she’s free to move on to whomever she wants.”

“So you never had a real relationship with
her? I asked, my voice resembling a petulant child.

“No.” he yelled, sounding appalled by the
thought.

“Liar. I can’t even stand to be around you
right now. You not only had a relationship with her, but you also
proposed to her, and it didn’t work out.”

Jason’s face was filled shock and anger.
“That was so long ago, and it didn’t last long? Where the hell did
you hear that?” He was yelling so loud that the hum of the truck
was being drowned out.

“I don’t know who to believe.”

‘Why not start with me? Your boyfriend.”

“Why would I? When you were oh so busy, and
couldn’t return a call or text, you were busy fucking Stacey.”

Jason’s face reddened, signaling anger or
guilt. He took two heavy breaths, and exhaled loudly. He rubbed his
free hand through his hair, and looked over at me, with guilty
eyes.

“You don’t even need to say anything.” I
faced forward, unable to stomach looking at him any longer.

He passed the exit for my apartment, and we
continued north.

“Where are we going?”

“Home,” he answered, not bothering to look my
way.

“My home is in the other direction. I’m not
going to your house, you probably had Stacey there,” her name was
like a rotten egg on my tongue. I pulled my phone out of my purse
and Jason reached over and snatched it away. “What are you doing?”
I asked, leaning over trying to get it back.

“You’re not calling anyone. We’re going home,
to discuss this like adults.”

“You can’t take me against my will Jason, and
besides, there’s nothing to discuss. Your face and lack of answers
explains it all.”

We took the rest of the ride in silence. I
was so angry that I wanted to break something. Jason picked up
speed, eager to get out of this confined space that had turned into
a torture chamber as we barreled our way back to La Jolla. When he
pulled into the garage, I jumped out of the truck and rushed into
the house, not waiting on him. I briskly made my way to his room,
my hurt knee and all, and started packing up my things when he came
in behind me.

“Cara, stop. Listen,” his voice was so calm
it made my hair stand.

“There is nothing for you to say Jason. You
were caught,” I made out, as the tears started streaming down my
face.

“You haven’t given me a chance to explain
anything,” he ran his hands through his hair, “God damn this,” he
yelled, and hit the wall.

“It’s too bad I had to find out the way I did
Jason. You could have given me the courtesy you know.” I continued
to throw my things into my bag, which Jason took from me, and sat
me down.

“I have never,” he emphasized the word never,
“been with Stacey since being with you.”

I stared up at him, through glossy eyes and
the tears continued to stream down my cheeks. “Why was she around
today?”

“I don’t know. Dev must have invited her. I
wouldn’t have.”

“The bigger question is why were you with her
when you were ignoring me?”

“I admit, I was wrong for not contacting you,
but while she was maliciously slandering me, she left out some
critical pieces of information.”

“And?” I asked impatiently, annoyed by the
constant back and forth.

"And, the truth is Stacey is from Heath. When
I went home, she was home. I had to take care of some shit, and she
was there. Our families are close; I’ve known Stacey since we were
in high school.”

“Devon said you were all gym buddies.”

“Yes, I met the rest of the gang at the gym.
When I moved here, Stacey moved here. She joined Invictus and we
started back up. It didn’t last long. I didn't want her then, I
don’t want her now.”

My eyes were burning, and the constant
blinking was all I could do to lessen the sting.

“She's nothing Cara. She is a disgruntled ex,
that’s all,” he breathed, looking visibly exhausted.

I didn’t know what to say. I closed my eyes
and swallowed hard, trying to clear the lump that had fixated
itself in my throat. I stood up and walked over to the bathroom.
After the day I’d had, I just wanted to soak in the tub and let my
worries drift away. I took off my clothes, and hopped in while the
water was still running. Jason watched me, looking relieved that I
hadn’t darted out the door, and glided into the bathroom, stripping
out of his clothes as he made his way to the tub. He got in, sat
behind me and pulled me close. He pulled my hair tie out of my hair
and nuzzled his nose in my hair, taking a long, deep breath.