“
It doesn’t matter, get
in,” he said as he climbed in the driver’s seat of his red Ford
truck. I exchanged a look with Dex and got in, feeling Bird’s
urgency.
He backed up the truck and
started to pull out of the lot. I looked back at the house and
gasped. Sarah was standing at our bedroom’s window, looking out at
us. At least, that’s what it looked like.
I looked at Dex beside me
to see if he had noticed but his eyes were focused sharply on the
road, his tongue flicking a toothpick anxiously. I kept it to
myself. What was the difference anyway?
We drove for about a half
hour, past the town and into the craggy gullies that jutted in and
out by the surrounding mountain ranges. Down a simple dirt road,
framed by cacti and boulders, lay a modest adobe rancher. We parked
the truck next to a newish SUV and stepped out.
The air here was fresher
and hit my lungs sharply. I hadn’t noticed a grade while on the
road but perhaps we were at a higher elevation. It was still very
early and the air hadn’t warmed up yet.
A lazy woof came out from
around the corner of the house and a happy looking mutt came
trotting towards us, tail wagging. Seeing a dog made me feel warm
and fuzzy inside and I happily petted his rough fur and endured a
few rounds of sloppy doggy kisses.
Dex watched me with mild
amusement as Bird started for the back of the house.
“
That’s just Boy Boy,” Bird
said, waving at the dog. “Come, Rudy is back here.”
We walked around the
corner, with Boy Boy at our heels, and saw a large tent nestled
among some skinny trees. A neat fire was roaring beside it and Rudy
was feeding it juniper branches and stones. I guess in my head I
had pictured Rudy wearing ceremonial robes and a huge feathered
headdress but those were just stereotypes floating around in my
mind. Rudy looked the same as he did last night except that he was
a little less blasé.
He greeted us sternly and
shook his head at my pants. “Those won’t do. Your top is fine but
you’re going to have to go pantless in there.”
He looked at Dex’s cargo
shorts and told him, “You too. You could get sick in there with so
many clothes on. It’s customary for people to be naked during a
sweat ceremony, but I understand if you don’t want to do that with
us here.”
“
Hell no,” I muttered. Even
going in there in just my underwear was going to be traumatizing.
And it wasn’t because of Bird and Rudy.
The hut was about four feet
high and about the size of a six-person tent. From the outside I
could see it was made of heavy tarpaulin material and the door,
which we would have to crawl through, was in the style of a tent’s
door, complete with zipper. At the moment it was unzipped, showing
nothing but blackness inside. I was in no hurry to go in
there.
Rudy poked the fire one
last time and gestured at the house’s back door.
“
It’ll be another half hour
before the rocks are hot enough,” he said. “We might as well get
you prepped for what’s going to happen.”
It sounded terrifyingly
ominous. I looked at Dex who was beside me. His expression said the
same thing: this wasn’t going to be a typical sauna session, was
it?
We went into the house and
sat in the kitchen while Rudy brought out several pitchers of water
and poured us all a glass.
“
Drink now and it’ll help
you once you’re in there,” he said.
Then he took out a small
pouch and some rolling papers and started to roll sweet smelling
cigarettes. He did this as he told us what was going to
happen.
“
The Great Spirit watches
over us but sometimes we need a little help. Traditionally the
sweat ceremony is done to cleanse one’s own spirit so that it is
clean and good. The negativity and evil thoughts that we experience
each day, even without us knowing it, cling to our shells. The
sweat purifies us so that we are born again, brand new. The good
spirits can find us and protect us while the evil spirits are
unable to track us. Eventually they will find us again, as evil
always does, but this will give us some protection in the
meantime.”
He finished rolling one,
lit it with a match and handed it to Dex. “Here smoke some of
this.”
Dex took a puff, then
coughed. It was a lot, even for him. He took a gulp of water and
opened his eyes wide, achieving that crazy look of his.
“
Wow, that is some strong
shit,” he exclaimed.
Rudy smiled slightly at
Dex’s outburst and nodded at me. “Her turn. Have some Perry, it
will please The Great Spirit.”
This Great Spirit was so
far sounding pretty cool compared to my God, though I was starting
to suspect they were all one and the same. I took the cigarette
from Dex’s fingers and inhaled. I hadn’t smoked since high school
and it showed. Once the smoke entered my lungs, I also broke out
into a coughing fit. It was a strong hit of nicotine and I
immediately felt simultaneously alert and relaxed. The tobacco
tasted very good, almost like licorice and agave. If we had packs
like that on the market, there was a good chance I would take up
smoking again.
I passed it on to Bird and
Rudy continued, “It used to be that men and women would do the
sweat separately but those things don’t matter so much these days.
Once the rocks are hot enough, I will move them into the center of
the hut. I’ll lead us through a few prayers and we will have some
breaks in between where you can get out, stretch your legs and get
water. As time goes on, it will get hotter and hotter. It may be so
hot that you can’t handle it and that’s fine. I strongly suggest
you stay in the tent no matter what. Lie down on the ground if you
have to but if you leave the tent before the session is over, it
may make everything redundant.”
I started feeling a bit
nervous. The cigarette hadn’t helped.
Rudy went on to explain how
the tent had been made with willow branches, each branch
strategically placed to pay homage to various animals and the Great
Spirit himself. Everything was connected and the whole experience
was to show us our place in the universe, as well as cleanse our
sins.
Soon enough, Rudy had
stopped talking. It was time.
We walked outside. The fire
had died somehow, smoldering under the weight of the rocks, which
glowed neon red in the morning light. We watched Rudy and Bird
carrying the hot stones on a pitchfork and shovel them into the
tent. I felt like I should help them somehow, but I think in this
case it was OK if Dex and I were just the curious bystanders. This
was sacred to them and I didn’t want to mess it up.
When they were done, Bird
went into the kitchen to fetch the water. Rudy pointed at my
clothes.
“
No time
to be shy,” he said simply. He took off his glasses and his denim
shirt and placed them in a neat pile outside of the tent.
Oh God, Great Spirit, whatever
, I thought,
please don’t let this
turn into a naked old man expedition.
But Rudy kept his boxer
shorts on. Dex did too. I sighed and slipped my pants off. Thank
goodness I was wearing my comfy black underwear that pretty much
covered my butt, or at least most of it. To think I was close to
putting on a thong that morning.
Bird came out with the
drinks and placed them outside of the tent. He sat down on a log
and wiped his brow.
“
You’re not coming in?” Dex
asked him.
“
No, I think it’s a good
idea if someone is outside of the tent,” he said. I had to agree
with him.
“
Ladies first,” Rudy said
opening up the flap of the tent even wider and pointing inside. I
really did not want to be the first to go in the hot dark tent, let
alone have Dex and Rudy stare at my butt as I went in. On all
fours, no less.
I turned to look at Dex
behind me. He was already grinning.
I smacked him across the
chest. “You keep your eyes to yourself, mister.”
“
That reminds me,” Rudy
said. He walked over to us and held out his hand. “You will want to
take off your rings. You could swell up in there.”
Rings? Oh, right. We both
slipped them off and placed them in Rudy’s open palm. He examined
each ring closely and then stole a glance at our ring fingers.
Could he even see without his glasses? I could have sworn a smile
skipped across his stony lips.
“
In you go,” he said tapping
me on the shoulder.
I took a few steps towards
the entrance and got down on all fours. I heard Dex snicker behind
me but ignored it. The wall of heat I felt emanating from inside
the tent was intense. I took a deep breath and went
inside.
It was dark as hell except
for the glowing stones in the center. The floor was packed with
very soft dirt that was still cool on my knees. I crawled along the
outer edge of the circular floor, making sure I was far away from
the hot rocks, and sat back. It was so hot, and so dry, that I
couldn’t imagine it getting any hotter.
Dex came in next, his
shaggy silhouette against the door, and crawled towards me. He sat
next to me, cross-legged, our knees touching. I was glad for
that.
Rudy came in last and
settled across from us, pulling a doeskin bag of stuff up beside
him.
“
OK Bird,” he called out.
“Time to seal us.”
I heard a rustling outside.
Bird appeared at the door, the blinding daylight behind him. I
couldn’t see his face from the exposure but I could feel he was
giving us all a hopeful look. He nodded and disappeared. The tent
flapped shut and the loud tear of the zipper filled the air as he
shut us in.
Now we were sitting in
complete darkness. The stones at the middle gave off a bare glow
that did nothing to illuminate the interior of the tent. I heard
Rudy shuffle around and the tinkling of water. I smelled sage and
other herbs. A whipping sound and Rudy was hitting the rocks with
wet sage branches. The smell was incredible, but the steam and heat
that came off the rocks was all-encompassing.
Rudy started to chant and
sing in native Navajo. I hadn’t heard it spoken yet so it was a bit
jarring to my ears. But there was something beautifully rhythmic
and complex about it.
Obviously, neither Dex nor
I could join in on these prayers, so we just sat there on the dirt
floor that was increasingly getting warmer and did our best to
endure the heat. Personally, I said a few prayers of my own to
myself, followed by wishes, and then positive thoughts and mantras.
I was hitting all angles.
I wasn’t sure how much time
had passed, it felt like hours, but just as I was getting
light-headed Rudy put the branches away and said, “Now time for our
first break.”
“
Bird,” he called out and
thumped on the wall of the tent. The willow branches shook above
us. The sound of the zipper and the flap opened. The light spilling
inside hurt my eyes.
We made our way out of the
tent and into the sunlight. I’m sure it was a hot day already but
compared to the interior of the tent it felt very refreshing. I
stood up unsteadily, Bird reached over and held me.
“
Take it easy,” he passed me
a bottle of water. “Drink some of this, slowly.”
Water had never tasted so
good. When I was finished the bottle I looked over at Dex who was
doing the same thing. He was a sweaty mess. I was too. Only Rudy
looked remotely composed.
“
Are you doing OK so far?”
Rudy asked.
I shrugged. I didn’t feel
like I was cleansed or anything. I just felt like I had been in one
hell of a sauna.
“
I think I lost a few
pounds,” Dex joked.
“
Oh, we’ll all be a lot
lighter when this is done. Of course, drinking water will put it
all back. But the weight of our sins will be lost for long
enough.”
Rudy walked over to me and
asked me to hold out my hands.
I did so, palms up. The
bandages were pretty gross, there hadn’t been time to change them
that morning.
Rudy held his hands above
mine and waved them around. I thought I could feel my wounds
burning slightly but I couldn’t be sure. He was giving off some
heat but that was normal. We all could have doubled as radiators at
that moment.
“
What are you doing?” Dex
asked, coming over to see.
Rudy closed his eyes,
ignoring Dex and continued to hold his hands above. Then he stopped
and looked at me, “Your hands will be OK in a bit. I did a prayer
on them last night. They are healing fast.”
He waved his hand above my
stomach. “This too will be OK by tomorrow.”
I didn’t know what to do
except thank him. It sounded far-fetched that some hand waving
would do the trick, especially when Dex mentioned I had been pumped
with antibiotics, but the truth was, whatever he did, I did feel
like I was healing by the second. My hands didn’t hurt anymore, my
stomach didn’t sting or pinch when I had sat down and a quick
glance to the mirror this morning showed that my cheek cut was
almost gone.
“
Time for us to return,” he
said and nodded at the tent. I took a deep breath and crawled back
inside.