Authors: Stephanie Hoffman McManus
“Why
were you reported dead, if it was Andrew who died?”
“Because
I wanted everyone to think I was dead. I had a plan and I was tired of everyone
getting in the way. It was really easy to convince them I was Andrew. We looked
enough alike, and we’d been practically isolated on that piece of shit farm.
Hardly any visitors and we were never allowed to go into town, not even for
school. Maggie homeschooled us, but mostly I was put to work as a free
farmhand. They had no living relatives except for dear old Uncle Jack who had a
falling out with his little brother when he inherited the farm from their
father instead of Jack. He hadn’t even met Andrew or Sarah, but he took me in.
After that, it was just a matter of finding you, which was a lot harder than I
thought it would be, and took me quite a while.”
“You
killed them just so you could find me?”
“No,
I killed them because Robert was an abusive bastard who treated me like a dog
and the rest of them followed in kind,” he spat. “And then I helped Uncle Jack
along his way. He had a weak heart. It was going to give out sooner or later, I
just ensured that it was sooner.”
“Why?”
“Because,
Uncle Jack was a small boy during the Great Depression. His parents lost so
much, almost lost that piece of shit farm that Robert inherited. Uncle Jack
didn’t trust the banks. He liked to bury his money on his property and keep it
stashed all over the place. Once I figured out where all of it was, I had no
need of him, but I did have need of all that cash. I took it and I sold his
house along with the farm. But then I made the mistake of going back to Sweet
to try and find out what had happened to you. Your records were sealed up nice
and tight and they started getting suspicious of me asking about you. Folks in
Sweet have a long memory and I don’t think the lady at social services was
fooled by the story I fed her.”
“Then
how did you find me?”
He
stood, abandoning the rest of his wine. “That’s a story for later. What matters
is that I did find you.” He loomed over my chair and I couldn’t help but sink
into it. He reached a hand out and grabbed my chin roughly and locked our eyes.
“I found you and when I finally laid eyes on you after all that time, it felt
like I was finally home. But you didn’t know me.” He dropped his hand.
“You
looked right at me and asked if you could help me like I was any other
customer. At first I was pissed. How could you not know it was me? I left there
so angry at you, all I’d done to find you and you didn’t even know me. I got
into my car and considered driving back to Idaho and forgetting you ever
existed, but I knew that wouldn’t work. I’d tried that already. For years I’d
tried to forget you and never could.” He turned his back to me, and bent over
the counter, staring out the tiny window above the kitchen sink. I could see
his knuckles turning white as he gripped it.
“I
kept driving, because I knew I needed to cool off or I might go back there and
do something I would regret. I went as far as Seattle.” He released the counter
and faced me again. “Do you remember where we would go to escape? Do you
remember where our safe place was?”
“To
the water,” I replied softly. A small stream ran along the back of the Johnson’s
property. During the summers we would splash in it when we could get away with
it, but any time Judd and Linda were on one of their tears and we needed to
make ourselves scarce, that’s where we’d go.
“That’s
right. To the water. So that’s where I went, just to clear my head, and there
she was. Like it was a sign. Walking along the lake, all alone. Looked like
she’d wandered off from a party, the way she was dressed and stumbling. She had
hair like yours used to be.” He came close again and combed his hand through my
locks.
“So
beautiful,” he said wistfully. “She was beautiful too with all that red hair.
Not as beautiful as you, but I thought she would do. She was more than happy to
join me when I offered her a drink. She was fun and I talked her into leaving
with me. It wasn’t hard. She wanted me. I brought her here, you know.”
I
knew where this story was going and I didn’t need to hear the end, but I did
want to know one thing. “Where exactly is here?”
He
released my chin and held out his arms in a wide open gesture. “This is home.
At least for now. Until you’re ready to move on.”
I
swallowed dryly. “Are you going to hurt me like you did that girl and the
others?”
His
features softened and he knelt down in front of me, taking my face in his
hands. “I would never hurt you. I promised you I would always take care of you,
and that’s what I’m going to do.”
“But
then why did you hurt them?” I asked meekly. “Why did you take Emily?”
“Don’t
you see? I had to get rid of them. Missy, the first one I brought here, I
thought she could make me forget you, but she couldn’t. She wasn’t you, and
after I’d fucked her, I realized she was a poor substitute. She was an
obnoxious whore who wouldn’t shut up. I knew there would only ever be one for
me, but I realized you needed time. It wasn’t your fault that you didn’t know
me. It had been so long since they took you away from me and tried to keep you
away, and I know I hardly look the same.” It was true. As much as I hated to
admit it, there was no denying he’d grown out of any adolescent awkwardness.
Gone were the glasses, gangly limbs and scrawny frame.
“Why
didn’t you just tell me it was you?”
“I
wanted you to figure it out on your own. I wanted you to see me. So I waited
and I went to your coffee shop every day. You were as sweet and perfect as I
remembered, but you never remembered me. I was patient, and thought in time
even if you didn’t remember me, that you would see how perfect for each other
we were anyway. Then you started dating that fuck-up Nathan. Once again I got
pissed at you, for choosing him when I was right in front of you. I tried to
forget you in someone else, but just like Missy, she wasn’t you, and so I got
rid of her. I liked them better once they were silenced for good. They looked
like they were sleeping, so peaceful. I could almost pretend they were you
again.” He slid one hand back through my hair, grabbing the ends and bringing
them to his face where he inhaled.
“Mmm,
you smell so good. So sweet. They didn’t smell like you either.”
He
was so sick and twisted.
“What
are you going to do with me if you’re not going to hurt me?” I asked
hesitantly.
He
frowned. “We’re going to be together, Nora,” he replied as if it was obvious.
“Now that I have you, I won’t let anyone or anything take you from me again.”
“What
about Emily? Why her?”
His
scowl deepened. “That was a mistake. She wasn’t supposed to be home that night.
You said she was gone, but she came home and found me there. I had no choice.”
“But
why keep her all this time?”
“Because
I know how much she means to you. I don’t want to hurt you, Nora. I need her to
make sure you don’t try anything stupid.”
“You
don’t need her. I won’t try anything. I was scared before because I didn’t know
it was you.” I forced myself to lift my hands to the sides of his face. “I
never thought I would see you again. I cried for weeks and weeks after they
took me away from you.” That part was the truth. “Having you back is like a
miracle. I don’t want to lose you again either.”
“I
can’t just let her go, Nora,” he said sternly.
“Yes
you can. And then we can leave here. Go somewhere no one can find us. We’ll be
together, just me and you, like you said. No one else. Just let her go. She’s
my best friend–”
He
stood suddenly and jerked my chair around before grabbing the back of it and
tipping it until it was off its front legs and leaning against the table. He brought
his face low over mine.
“No.
I’m your best friend,” he growled angrily, “and I know you better than anyone,
so I know when you’re lying to me.”
He
curled his other hand around my throat, not squeezing, but just holding it
there while he brought his face lower and grazed his nose along my jaw and then
down to my shoulder where he inhaled me again. “You’re right, that we will be
together, and in time you will come to love me again, the way I love you, but
don’t you ever fucking try to play me, Nora. Not you.”
I
blinked back terrified tears. He grabbed my arm roughly, jerking me up out of
the chair. The legs slammed back down on the floor and he dragged me from the
kitchen toward the end of the cabin I hadn’t seen yet. There were two doors. He
yanked one open and shoved me inside, following and closing the door behind us.
It
was a small bedroom. The bed took up most of it. It was the only decent piece
of furniture I’d seen in this place, and he shoved me down on it. I wasn’t able
to suppress my fear or panic anymore. I tried to scramble away from him, but he
grabbed my arms and pinned them before lowering himself on me. I struggled and
cried out, but he was so much larger than me and his weight was too much. He
started kissing my neck and rubbing himself against me and I could do little
more than squirm beneath him as the tears ran down my cheeks.
He
transferred my wrists to one hand and the other began caressing up and down my
body. I whimpered and cried out again. “Please don’t do this,” I begged.
“You’re
mine,” he breathed in my ear. “And I’m going to show you. You let that fucking
pig Nathan touch you. You gave yourself to him, and then that asshole Shaw. I
saw you with him. Kissing him in the woods. The way you moaned when his hands
were all over you, and then last night in your bedroom. I watched, and now I’m
going to make you moan for me like you did for him. I’m going to make you
forget his touch, make you forget all about him. I’m the only one who can touch
you. I promise you’ll enjoy it. They all did.”
I
whimpered and my body shook with sobs. “Please don’t do this. If you love me,
then please don’t force this. I need time.” I knew he wanted me to want him, to
want this, I just prayed it would be enough for him to hold off right now.
He
stopped and pushed himself up by the hand that had my wrists pinned and looked
down at me.
“Please,”
I choked on my cries. “If you want this to work, I have to be able to trust
you,” I begged. My entire body sagged with relief when he released my hands and
shoved himself up from the bed.
“Fine,
I’ll give you time.” He bent down and grabbed my chin, holding my head in place
so he could run his lips along my jaw to my ear. “But you are mine, and the
sooner you accept it, the better everything will be.”
He
stormed out of the room, shoving the door closed forcefully, and I was sure I
heard it lock behind him. I curled into myself and cried. I knew I should have
been searching for a way to escape, or planning some kind of sneak attack, but
all I could do was sob into the bed and pray that Spencer was out there looking
for me. I had to believe that if I couldn’t find a way out of here, that he
would find me before it was too late.
“Can
I see Emily?” I looked up hopefully from the plate of meat and vegetables in
front of me. He hadn’t let me see her since my first night here, no matter how
much I pleaded with him. Three nights had passed since then, and I was no closer
to getting us out of here.
“No,”
he replied and went about cleaning the food from his own plate.
I
shuffled the food around on mine. “Why can’t I see her?” I needed to see her. I
had to make sure he wasn’t hurting her because he was frustrated with me. It’d
been three nights of fending him off with excuses that would only work for so
long. Three nights of trying to get into his head and make him trust me, which
wasn’t going so well since most of my time was spent locked in the bedroom.
Will– er Aaron– left in the mornings after bringing me food, and wouldn’t
return until evening. He was going back there. Back to Bellingham. He told me
as much when I asked him why he was gone all day. Said he couldn’t just
disappear until it was time.
Fury
swam in my belly when I thought of him going back there. To my friends. My real
ones. Probably pretending to be scared and worried. I could imagine him and
Cassie comforting each other and it made me sick. He was right in front of them
the same way he’d been right in from of me all this time. I couldn’t do
anything but sit in that bedroom and wait. I’d exhausted every effort to break
out of it and the tiny bathroom attached, it was useless, he’d secured them
both. I was trapped until he came home each night and let me out.
He
made me eat dinner with him like this, and then we’d sit on the couch together.
He
wanted to talk and spend time together, as if we were a real couple. It was
pure torture being near him and pretending his touch didn’t make sick. He
brought me books and clothes and other gifts. He’d even stocked the bedroom
with some of my own things, and I found all my preferred bathroom products in
the bathroom.
When
we were together, he’d force me down memory lane with him, reliving all the
memories and moments I’d buried for so long, and he’d talk about our future. He
genuinely believed we were going to be happy together, and all the while I felt
like I was navigating a minefield, trying to keep him from exploding if I said
the wrong thing or didn’t give him the reaction he was looking for.
At
the end of each night he would take me to bed. The walk from the living room to
the bedroom felt like a death sentence. When he had me in there was the only
time my mask would slip and my carefully constructed façade would fall apart. I
couldn’t pretend or do anything to stop the tears and trembling. I would beg
him for more time. He would get frustrated and then lock me in there and I
wouldn’t see him again until breakfast time. I knew he was running out of
patience. I wouldn’t be able to hold him off much longer.
I
just needed to buy Spencer more time, because I was beginning to give up hope
that I would be able to get free with Emily. Believing that Spencer was coming
for us was the only thing that kept me playing Aaron’s stupid game when all I
wanted to do was bash him over the head or stab him with the nearest sharp
object.
I
knew I was no match for him, and if I failed, if I couldn’t take him down, he
would make Emily pay for my mistake. If I made a move, I needed for him to not
see it coming, which was hard when he never left me alone for even a second
anywhere but locked in the bedroom. Right now, even when he seemed relaxed, I
knew he was watching me closely.
His
fork clinked against his plate, bringing me back to our conversation. Finished
eating, he leveled his gaze on me. “You’ve done nothing to earn that, Nora.”
“What
do you mean?” I protested. “I’ve done everything you’ve asked. I’m trying,
Aaron, I’m really trying.”
Trying to keep from ramming my fork in your eye.
“I
told you, Nora, I know you. So you think that means I don’t know when you’re
lying or putting on a show. You think I don’t see the way you cringe every time
I touch you, or the way you’re clenching your fork right now?”
I
looked at my hand, and indeed I was squeezing it pretty tightly. I guess I
wasn’t as good of an actress as I thought. I dropped the fork. “I’m sorry.” I
hoped it sounded convincing. It was sincere. I was genuinely sorry that I was
failing Emily.
“It’s
okay.” He stood and came to me. “We have all the time in the world for you to
come around, but I’m done waiting to have you. You are mine, and tonight I will
have you in every way.”
I
shook my head, desperately. “No. Not yet, please–”
“Save
your pleas. I’ve been patient with you, but you need to see that you belong to
me. You need to stop fighting it.”
“I
do know. I swear I do know, and I’m not fighting it. I just need more time to
adjust to this new life with you,” I tried to reason, but it did little good.
He grabbed my arm and yanked me up.
“Enough.
Tonight you’ll see how good things can be between us. Tonight you’ll see how
good I can be to you . . . or how bad if you insist on fighting me.”
He
dragged me from the kitchen toward the bedroom, and I did fight. I fought him
every step, because I knew once he got me inside that room, he wouldn’t stop
tonight. I clawed at his arm and begged and cried and screamed and kicked and
none of it did any good. He easily managed to force me inside and throw me down
roughly on the bed. I scurried backward and cornered myself against the wall.
I
watched as he stripped off his shirt, and then his belt. He pulled his keys
from his pocket and tossed them on the dresser, and then he stalked toward me.
I tried to run, to jump from the bed and flee, but his arm caught me around the
waist. He threw me back down and then he came down on top of me, tugging and
tearing at my clothes. I kicked and screamed some more. I scratched and even
tried to bite him, but the harder I fought him the more his eyes seemed to
light up. He said he wanted me to want this, to give myself to him willingly,
but I think he got off on the fight. He was enjoying my tears and my pathetic
attempts to fight him off.
I
got one good swipe of my nails across his face before he managed to pin both of
my wrists in one hand and then his other came around my throat. This time he
wasn’t gentle. He squeezed just tightly enough to cause pain and make breathing
difficult, but not enough to cut off my oxygen completely. I could do nothing
except try to buck my hips uselessly. His lips were all over me as the tears
streamed furiously from my eyes. I squeezed them shut, unable to watch as Aaron
claimed what wasn’t his to take.
His
hand finally left my throat, but only to start undoing my pants. Without my
hands, I couldn’t stop him from tugging them down along with my underwear, and
then I heard the zipper on his jeans. My body shook harder and my sobs grew
louder. I threw my head up hoping to catch him in the nose, but he avoided my
headbutt easily. A sinister laugh fell from his lips before he dipped his head
to whisper in my ear. “Don’t fight it. You used to like when I would touch
you.” I shook my head furiously as he closed a hand over my breast and then
snaked it lower. A pitiful cry worked its way out of my throat, and I closed my
eyes, praying for it all to stop. The next thing I knew, his weight was gone
and there was a loud crash in the room. My eyes flew open and I shot up when I
saw Aaron wrestling with someone.
Spencer.
I
cried out in relief, yanking my pants and underwear back up. Another loud thud
sounded and I looked over to see that Aaron had slammed Spencer against the
wall. I sucked in a short breath, but then Spencer’s fist came up and connected
with Aaron’s face and he staggered backwards. A part of me wanted to hide under
the bed until it was over, and an even bigger part of me wanted to jump in and
help Spencer, but I knew he could take care of himself. I had to get to Emily.
I had to get her out no matter what. I leapt up, dodging the fight and
snatching the keys from the dresser and then I tore through the house to the
basement.
Emily
was sitting up, looking terrified when I came down the stairs. When she saw it
was me, her eyes grew hopeful. I ran and dropped down on the mattress, reaching
for her ankle to unlock the shackle.
“Where
is he?” she choked. Her voice was little more than a cracked whisper.
“Spencer
is here. We’re getting out of here.”
“Who’s
Spencer?” She rubbed her ankle when I had the cuff free and then I helped her
stand. I didn’t know how to answer her question.
“He’s
like Batman, and he’s here to rescue us.” That would have to do for now.
“Is
he hot? How’s my hair?” she asked weakly.
I
wanted to cry, but instead I smiled and threw my arms around her. She was still
in there. He hadn’t broken her. I pulled away because we didn’t have time, but
not before I gave her a fat grin and said, “Back off, he’s mine.”
Then
I grabbed her hand and we ran for the stairs. At the bottom I listened for
noises from upstairs, but didn’t hear anything. It made me nervous, because if
the fight was over, Spencer should be calling my name and searching the house
for us. But he wasn’t. I put my finger to my lips and then signaled Emily to
wait at the bottom while I slowly made my way up. At the top, I drew in a deep
breath. The door had closed partially behind me. I carefully shoved it open and
peeked my head out, only to come face to face with a bruised and bloodied
Aaron. His face was contorted in rage and as soon as he saw me, he made a grab
for me and I screamed. He caught my arm before I could turn and run back down
the stairs.
I
swung my fist and it connected with his cheek, but still he didn’t loosen his
painful grip on my wrist. I raked my nails down his arm and he hissed in pain
and then grabbed my other wrist in his hand. He tried dragging me away from the
basement door but I dug in my heels. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a large
shadow barreling toward us. My eyes widened in relief when I turned and realized
it was Spencer. Although there was blood dripping down his head, he looked
okay. I swung my knee up, hoping to catch Aaron between the legs just as
Spencer grabbed hold of him again. In Aaron’s attempt to swing around and fight
Spencer off, he knocked me backwards. I reached for the door frame or anything
to grab hold of as I fell backward, but caught nothing. I remember hitting the
first step, and Emily screaming my name, but then everything went black as my
body tumbled down the rest.
I
came to feeling like I was floating, only I didn’t think I was because floating
shouldn’t hurt this much. And everything hurt. Then the floating sensation was
gone and I felt my body come down on something hard. My vision was fuzzy and
everything was just flashes of light and faces and blurry movement. There was
so much noise, voices all around and my head throbbed like the rest of my body.
Hands were touching me, poking and prodding. I groaned when I felt a sharp
pinch on my arm.
“She’s
awake!” A familiar deep voice cried in relief. Something large and warm wrapped
around my hand. The touch was comforting and I wanted more than anything to be
able to sit up and see him, but just as I thought my vision was clearing up and
the fog in my head was abating, it came back with a vengeance and started
sucking me under into the blackness. The voices became more distorted and I
squeezed the hand holding mine before I lost consciousness again.
The
next time I made it out of the dark, I knew I was in a bed, a hospital bed. I
blinked a few times before I was able to fully pry my eyes open. My head still
ached, along with the rest of my body. The first thing I noticed was that my
left arm was in a cast, but my mind was clearer. The only thing that wasn’t
clear was what I was doing in a hospital bed. I tried to remember why I was
here, and at first it was frustrating, like a word on the tip of your tongue that
you can’t quite recall. Then everything started coming back in bits and pieces,
flashes here and there until finally I had the whole picture.
I
remembered everything. The cabin with Will, or Aaron or whatever his name was
and I remembered fighting him off in that bedroom and then Spencer coming to
the rescue.
Spencer.
He
was there again just before I did my Jack and Jill down the stairs.
I
looked around my dimly lit hospital room, the only illumination coming from the
partially cracked bathroom door. I was thankful not to have the overly bright
lights blaring down at me. I was disappointed to see that my room was empty.
From the black sky outside the windows, I guessed it was late. The quiet also
suggested it was the middle of the night. I worked to sit up and took stock of
my soreness. My shoulder, neck and back were the worst. Falling down a flight
of stairs felt similar to what I imagined getting hit by a two-hundred-fifty
pound linebacker, sans pads, would feel like.
“Of
course I would step out of the room for five minutes and you would wake up.”
I
forgot all about my various aches and jerked my head toward the sound of that
deep voice. A twinge of pain shot through my neck. I lifted my good hand to rub
it as my eyes took in the tall and most welcome figure shadowing my doorway.