Redeem Me: Oakville Series:Book Four (2 page)

When Katie looks at me with those big brown eyes filled with love, it’s all worth it. I would do anything and everything I could to protect her and keep her happy. Even if that means I become the adult. It always feels good to know at least one person in my family loves me.

“El! El!” a sweet voice calls out, pulling my attention from watching my mother drive away. I turn to see Katie waddling into the living room, arms open wide. Picking her up, I spin her around, causing her to squeal with delight. As I slow to a stop, she calls out, “Mo’, El! Mo’!” She had a hard time saying Angel when she first started to speak and the closest she could get was El. I don’t mind though, I like it.

When I finally satisfy her spinning urge, she kisses my cheek then claps her hands. The sparkle of the tiny princess ring I bought her for her third birthday catches my eyes. She loves that ring. I always see her holding her hand up in front of her face smiling at it. It’s a silver ring in the shape of a princess crown. Housed on the front of the ring is a round amethyst, her birthstone. Engraved inside is the name Katherine. It’s nothing fancy and worth every penny of the fifty dollars I spent on it. I raked a lot of leaves and weeded a lot of gardens to save that money. And I’d do it all again just to see that bright, beautiful smile on her face.

Outside, the sky is blue and the temperature perfect. It’s a great day to take Katie to the park. She loves the sandbox. Of all the fun things to do at the park, sitting in the sand and digging is her favorite. I get her dressed and pack a few snacks in my backpack. After loading her into the stroller, we’re off. As soon as the park comes into view, Katie begins clapping. “‘And! ‘And!” She screams with joy. Seeing her happy makes me happy. At least one of us gets to act our age. Times like this that make everything I do worth it. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep that smile on her face.

Once we reach the sandbox, I let Katie out of her stroller. Immediately, she waddles into the sand. I hand her the bag with all the sand toys, then take a seat on the bench. Looking around, all I see is happy mothers and their children. Mothers paying attention to their kids, making sure they’re having fun. It makes me sad to know my mom is no longer like that. All the kids running around without a care in the world also makes me sad. I’ve forgotten what that feels like—to be free to run around, play, and act my age. I wonder if I’ll ever have the chance to have that freedom again.

A blond haired boy about my age comes running toward me with a football in hand. “Hey. I’m Jacob.” He points in the direction of two other boys. “We need one more person to play a game of touch football. You want to play with us?” Jacob asks enthusiastically. I’ve never been asked to play anything before, and football sounds like fun. I look at Katie, who’s still playing happily in the sandbox, then I look to where the boys are going to be playing. I’ll still be able to see Katie from where they are.

“Sure, I’ll play. I’m not real good at it, though.” I’m a little worried he’ll tell me to forget about playing, but it’s better to be honest.

“Don’t worry, neither are any of us,” he says with a laugh. As we head over to the other two boys, I glance again at Katie, making sure she’s still okay. Jacob introduces me to Caleb and Chris, and then chooses me to be on his team. We all start to play and I don’t feel too bad about not playing all that well. Jacob was right about no one being all that good. Every few minutes, I look over to check on Katie, still busy digging in the sand.

For the first time since I can remember, I’m really having fun. Doing things a normal twelve-year-old should be doing—running, catching a football, laughing. “Heads up, Angel!” Jacob yells as he throws the football my way. Keeping my eyes on the ball flying through the air, I line myself up just right and it lands perfectly in my hands. I take off running, dodge both Caleb and Chris, and make my first touchdown. The guys come running up high-fiving and congratulating me. We all jump around hooting, hollering, and talking about the awesome play.

After some of the excitement dies down, I realize I haven’t checked on Katie in a few minutes. When I glance in her direction, my heart sinks. I don’t see her. My head jerks from left to right and back again. She never wanders off. I run to the sandbox, searching for her. When I don’t see her, panic begins to choke me.

“What’s wrong?” Jacob asks.

“My little sister. She was right here a minute ago. Now I can’t find her. She’s only three.”

“I’ll get the other guys and we’ll help you look. What was she wearing?”

“She had a purple t-shirt, jean shorts, and white sneakers. Her name is Katie,” I tell him. Tears threaten to fall, but I don’t want to look like a baby in front of my new friends, so I try my hardest to hold them off. Jacob gathers Chris and Caleb and they split up to scour the park. The more we look, the more panicked I become. I never should have left the bench. What was I thinking by going off and playing? I know better. This is all my fault. What if she’s hurt or lost? Even worse, what if someone took her? I can’t catch my breath. A sharp pain radiates through my chest as everything around me blurs into blackness.

Hearing sirens and voices all around me causes my eyes to snap open. As the realization of a missing Katie comes back to my mind, I try to get to my feet. A man in a paramedic uniform holds me back. His eyes are sympathetic and kind. “Don’t move too quickly. You passed out and I need to make sure you’re okay,” he says softly.

“Katie! I need to find my sister!” I yell, still trying to get to my feet. Again, I’m held back. The sadness in the kind paramedics face makes my blood run cold. What does he know that I don’t?

“The police are here looking for her. Let me make sure you’re okay and then you can talk to them,” he pleads, hoping I’ll relax enough for him to check me over. As much as I want to jump up and search for Katie, I don’t. I stay put and allow him to do his job. It only takes him a few minutes. He listens to my heart, checks my blood pressure, and makes sure I didn’t hit my head when I fell. Once he’s satisfied I’m okay, he slowly helps me to my feet.

As I look around, I wonder how long I was out for. All hell has broken loose—people spread out, searching all over the park, at least six to seven police cars surrounding the parking lot. My chest tightens again when I realize Katie hasn’t been found. I hear one police officer tell another that witnesses saw someone leave with her. Someone took her. My blood runs cold and my body begins to tremble. I’ve watched enough TV and news shows to know what ultimately happens to kids who are kidnapped. I fall to my knees, shouting, “Katie! Katie!” I wrap my arms around myself and rock from side to side. This can’t be happening. What have I done?

“Angel!” my mother screams, her shrill voice snapping me from my daze. She’s pissed. Not that I can really blame her. I steel myself, knowing I deserve every bit of her wrath. She grabs ahold of my arms and yanks me to my feet. Shaking me roughly, she yells, “Why weren’t you watching her? The only thing you had to do was watch her and you couldn’t do it. She’s gone and it’s all your fault. I will never forgive you for this. Never!”

The stabbing pain in my chest is too much to bear. A policeman pulls my mom away from me and I crumble to the ground, sobbing. The pain and emptiness overwhelms me. She’s right. Katie was my responsibility and I didn’t watch her because I was playing football. I was having fun while my sister was taken. What kind of brother am I? I was supposed to protect her always. I promised her that every day. I’ll never forgive myself for this. Never.

A pair of arms wrap around me. For a moment, I breathe a sigh of relief, thinking it’s my mom comforting me. I turn around to see a female police officer instead, and I begin crying even harder. Who am I kidding by thinking it would be my mom? She wraps me in a hug and rocks me back and forth as she whispers, “Everything will be okay. This is not your fault.”

I want to tell her how wrong she is, but it feels good to think someone loves me, even for a little bit. The only person who ever has is gone now. I have no one.

Angel

Present

“W
ill I be getting my daughter back any time soon?” Holly teases. Looking up, I see her giving me a warm smile. She knows how protective I am of the little girl in my arms. It started the day she was born. Hope was delivered early. Holly was taken by her ex-husband right after she had Hope, and while Paul was trying to find her, I volunteered to watch over the baby in the hospital. He didn’t want her to be alone. He was afraid she’d be scared if no one was there with her. I stayed day and night. Even when someone else came to sit with her, I’d never go far. Maybe it was fear that kept me there. Fear that something would happen to her if I left. Or maybe it was just the fact that she stole my heart the second I laid eyes on her.

“For you, I guess I could hand her over, but only for a little while.” Giving Hope a kiss on her forehead, I hand her to her mom. When I look up, I see Chelsie watching me from across the room. As soon as our eyes meet, her face turns a shade of crimson before she quickly looks away. I just don’t get her. One minute, she’s all flirty and mouthing off to me, and the next, she’s the shyest girl I’ve ever met. I flirt with her every chance I get. I’d much rather have her in my bed moaning and wiggling beneath me. However, I promised Amber I wouldn’t make Chelsie one of my conquests. Actually, I promised everyone I wouldn’t mess with Chelsie, but Amber doesn’t think Chelsie’s the kind of girl who will be happy with just a roll in the hay every now and then. I don’t believe she is either. Unfortunately, that’s all I can offer.

“Don’t you ever want something more?” Paul asks as he sits next to me, the grin on his face telling me he knows who I’m thinking about.

“She’s a nice girl and all, but not really,” I lie. “I really just want the chance to get her beneath me in my bed,” I tell him with a laugh. Of course I want more; I just don’t deserve it. And even if I did, no one would really want me. Not after finding out about Katie.

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that’s all you want. You look at her differently than you do any of your other...um...
friends
. Eventually, running away from feelings gets old. Believe me, I know.” The way he says “friends” makes me think of my mom. I’ve turned into her—going from one to the next without putting anything into it beyond physical contact. The only difference is, she was neglecting us at the time. I’m not neglecting anyone. I’ve already lost the one person who meant everything to me by being a selfish bastard. The women I’m with know it’s nothing more than sex. I’m not an asshole. I’m upfront with them.

“I’m not the kind of guy who deserves a relationship,” I say, immediately regretting my words. I just gave away more about myself in that short statement than I ever have to anyone before. Paul gives me a puzzled look. He opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something, but he doesn’t. We sit in silence for a few more minutes before he gets up.

“I used to think the same thing about myself. It just takes the right girl to show you differently,” he says, looking at Holly with a goofy grin. “We are all here for you. We’ve all felt like you do at one point. If you ever decide you’re ready to talk about it, you can talk to any of us. I can promise there’ll be no judgement,” he adds before walking over to his family.

I wish I believed there’d be no judgement for what I’ve done. I just can’t see how that’s possible. If I did what I was supposed to that day, there’s no doubt in my mind Katie would still be here. Everyone, including me, is better off not knowing. And with my mother gone, passed away after I left home at seventeen, I’m the only one left to make sure I’m punished every day for what I’ve done.

I watch Chelsie from across the room. She’s talking with Amber and Becky. When she laughs, it makes my heart race. She’s so beautiful. I imagine myself running my hands through her dirty blonde hair as she wraps her long legs tightly around my waist. That thought has me straining against my zipper. And thinking with that part of my body is what worries Amber. Not only has Chelsie become part of our gang, she also works for Amber. Amber hired her to run the Youth Center over a year ago. If I let my desire for her take control and it ends badly, it could affect everyone.