Redemption (Cavan Gang #2) (15 page)

She shook as he ran his hand up and down her back. “I will always come for you. Always.”

“Can we get out of here?” she asked.

He cupped her face between his hands and kissed her. “Colm’s going to take you and Sofia home. I need to take care of things here.”

She grabbed his wrists, her grip tight. “No, I’m staying with you.”

No way.

“Miller.”

“Rogan, I feel safe with you. I’m scared.” For her to admit that, he knew she must be terrified.

Fuck. He needed to be close to her as well.

“How far away is Alec?” he asked Cillian.

“Should be here any minute, Boss.”

“Colm, take Sofia and keep watch outside. Send Alec in when he gets here. When he arrives, we’re leaving.”

Miller stared down at her creamy hot chocolate. She could feel the warmth of the cup against her skin, but the heat didn’t seem to reach her insides. Sofia sat in the armchair across from her. Was that what she looked like? Pale, fragile, and in shock?

Probably. It was how she felt right now. Infinitely fragile.

She didn’t like the feeling at all. It wasn’t who she was.

Rogan stepped back into the room, frowning. Colm turned away from the window. Colm had barely said a word since they’d left the warehouse.

He’d made them both hot chocolates, given them blankets, settled them in the living room then stood at the window.

“Do you think Callahan had anything to do with this?” Colm asked.

“They never mentioned him,” Miller said quietly as Sofia shook her head. “I think Arnie acted on his own with Oleg. Arnie didn’t care about the ransom money, that was Oleg’s thing. Arnie just really wanted you dead.”

Rogan moved over and sat beside her.

“He was driving the car that tried to run you off the road,” she told him.

Rogan rubbed his hand over his face. “Thank God you left a note. If we hadn’t had that time advantage…”

Yeah, it could have turned out very differently.

“Did you see the tattoo on his arm?” Sofia asked quietly.

“On Arnie’s arm?” she asked, remembering the other woman’s reaction. “You looked like you’d seen a ghost when you saw it.”

“I’ve seen something similar before.”

“What did it look like?” Rogan asked.

“Three concentric circles, one white, one black, and one red. Inside the circles was a sword dripping with blood.”

Rogan nodded. “His gang tattoo. The Seven Sinners each choose a sin as their tattoo. Most choose wrath, which is the one you saw, greed, or pride.”

“So a lot of people have that tattoo?”

“I suppose. Why?”

“Because I’ve been dreaming about it for months now. I even started drawing it. I’m obsessed by it.”

Sofia stared at them, her blue eyes haunted. “I’ve been having these dreams. I’m in a forest looking for someone. Then I hear this loud noise. I’m scared, terrified. Sometimes the dream ends there and I wake up. But, lately, it’s kept going. I see this man. He falls to the ground in front of me, but his face is blurry. The only thing I can really see is the tattoo. Then I take off running. I’m trying to find someone when I run into this woman.”

Sofia looked directly at Miller. “She kind of reminds me of you.”

Miller frowned. “Did the woman appear in your dreams before or after you met me?”

“Before.”

Miller stood.

Rogan reached up for her hand. “Where are you going?”

“To get something. I’ll be back in a minute.” She went into her room and grabbed the locket her grandmother had given her. Walking back into the living room, she handed it to Sofia. “Is this the woman?”

Sofia stared down at the picture. “It’s hard to tell. The picture’s so small and my memory is kind of fuzzy. But, yeah, it looks like her. This was your mother?”

“Yes. She was murdered fifteen years ago. They never caught her killer.

“Around the same time Gerard Callahan disappeared,” Rogan said.

Sofia glanced at them both.

“Gerard was the former leader of the Seven Sinners and Step Callahan’s father,” Miller told her. “I’m surprised you don’t know this already.”

Sofia shrugged. “Aleksandr is old-fashioned. He doesn’t talk to me about
work
. The Seven Sinners don’t come near Solnyshko and that’s where I spend most of my time. I’ve never seen that tattoo before. Except in my dream, that is.”

“Gerard Callahan has also been identified as the body they pulled out of Lake Medina,” Colm added. “Step Callahan thinks Rogan’s father had something to do with his death.”

“Why?” Sofia asked.

“Because my father, with the help of your father and Iker Florez, were trying to run the Seven Sinners out of the city at the time,” Rogan explained.

“I don’t remember any of this.”

“You must have only been about eight,” Colm told her, moving closer.

“What if Sofia saw Gerard’s murder?” Miller asked. “What if Step Callahan is right and my mother’s death is somehow connected to his father’s murder?”

What if her mother had been murdered because she’d seen too much?

“How could you have been there?” Rogan asked Sofia.

“I don’t know. I can’t remember. Why would my father have taken me? And how could I have forgotten what happened for so many years?”

“You were young. Maybe you buried the memory,” Colm suggested.

“But I need to know what happened,” Sofia insisted. “I can’t stand having half the story.”

“I wonder if my mom saw something they didn’t want her to see.” Feeling ill, she placed her arm over her stomach.

“
A thaisce
.” Rogan grasped hold of her shoulder and she flinched. He let go of her immediately. No one else would have seen the flash of hurt on his face, but she did.

And she felt terrible.

Whatever had happened, it wasn’t his fault. Miller leaned into him. He held her tight.

“Everyone who would know the truth is dead.” Maybe she’d never know.

“Except for me,” Sofia added. “And I’m missing chunks. What if I can’t remember anything else? All I’ve got is these flashes of images and feelings.”

Miller watched Rogan and Colm share a grim look.

Rogan sat forward. “Sofia, you can’t tell anyone what you remember.”

She stared at him in bewilderment. “What about Sasha?”

“Tell your cousin, but make sure you’re completely alone. I’ll be with you if you want. We need to tell him about tonight, anyway.”

“He’ll be furious.”

“He should have protected you better,” Colm snarled.

“He’s in the hospital!” Sofia snapped back. “He nearly died.”

“That’s no excuse,” Colm muttered.

Sofia glared at him.

Oh crap. These two were never going to get it together if they kept acting like this.

Rogan cleared his throat. “Why don’t I talk to Aleksandr first. We’ll do it tomorrow.”

Sofia nodded tiredly. “I suppose I should go home.”

“I think it would be best if you stayed here,” Rogan countered.

“I’d rather go home.”

“You’re staying here,” Colm growled.

Sofia scowled at him. “I’m going home.”

“I won’t sleep if you go home, Sofia. I’ll spend all my time worrying about you. Please stay. For me.” Miller stared at her imploringly.

Sofia was silent for a long moment. Then her shoulders slumped and she nodded. “I guess I wouldn’t be able to sleep either.”

“Do you want a sleeping pill?” Colm asked her.

She shook her head, hugging herself.

Rogan stared down at Miller speculatively.

“No way,” she told him. “I’m not taking a sleeping pill.”

“Shh, no pill. I promise. Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

Miller let him help her up.

“Colm, show Sofia to a guest room, please.” Rogan turned to Sofia. “Please don’t try to leave without letting someone know. You’re not a prisoner here, but until your cousin is out of the hospital, I feel responsible for you. If something were to happen to you under my watch, he’d kill me.”

Sofia nodded.

“Don’t worry, Boss. I’ll make sure she stays put.”

Miller and Rogan walked out as Sofia glared daggers at Colm.

“They’re never going to get their act together if he keeps acting like an ass,” Miller said as they walked into Rogan’s bedroom.

“They’d probably never convince Aleksandr to let them be together anyway. Might be better if they cut things off before they begin.”

Rogan helped her undress.

She sat on the bed in her underwear. “If anyone told me I couldn’t love you, I’d slice their balls off and make them eat them.”

He winced. “That was graphic.” He paused, studying her. “Do you?”

“Do I what? Love you?”

He nodded.

Miller took a deep breath. “I’ve been scared to say the words because everyone I love usually leaves. I guess part of me thinks if I say the words out loud, I’ll jinx things.”

He knelt in front of her, taking her cool hands in his warm ones. “I am here forever. I’m going nowhere, Miller.”

“I didn’t think I’d see you again. I thought I was going to die. That we both were. I can’t live without you, Rogan. And that terrifies me.”

“Me, too.”

She sniffed, embarrassed to find herself crying. Again. Twice in one day? A new record for her. “I didn’t think anything terrified you,” she said.

He squeezed her hands. “Loving you does. Losing you does.”

“I love you, Rogan.”

“I love you, too. I’ve never told anyone this, but, before you came along, I was finding it hard to feel anything. Love. Hate. Anger. Fear. But not now. Not since you. I’m probably never going to have the right words. There are always going to be things I can’t tell you. I’ll frustrate you, I’m bound to be overprotective, and I won’t apologize for that. Because you’re the most important thing in my world and protecting you is the only way I remain sane.”

She launched herself at him. “I’m so scared. What if something happens to you? What will I do without you?”

“I feel the same. I don’t know the answer. The only thing I do know is I’m going to be grateful for every day I have with you.”

“Make love to me?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Unless you have to go somewhere?” She didn’t know what was happening with Oleg and his friends and, quite frankly, she didn’t want to know.

“Come with me. Let me take care of you.”

No one had ever taken care of her the way Rogan did. She let him lead her into the bathroom. He turned the shower on before helping strip off her panties and bra.

Cupping a breast in each hand, he leaned in and kissed her nipples.

“Beautiful.”

Miller shivered, her stomach tightening at the lust in his dark gaze.

He pulled her into the shower, making certain the water sprayed her back.

“Warm enough?”

Miller nodded.

Grabbing her body wash, he squirted some onto his hand. Starting at her shoulders, he worked his way down her body, washing around her breasts, down her stomach and legs.

“Turn around,” he murmured.

He washed her back, over her ass.

“Turn and sit on the seat behind you,” he ordered, as though he knew how her legs trembled. Her need for him battled her exhaustion.

Rogan adjusted the stream of water away from her before kneeling between her knees.

“Spread your legs. Wider.”

She moved her thighs apart as far as she could, allowing him to wash her intimately.

“Rogan,” she moaned as he parted her lower lips, staring down at her.

“Beautiful.”

Hardly. But if he thought so, she wasn’t going to argue with him. Leaning in, he took a long lick of her. His tongue flicked her clit. She had to grip the side of the seat to anchor herself. Rogan pushed a finger deep inside her.

He used his tongue with such skill, her breath caught in her throat. Withdrawing his finger, he ran his tongue over her entrance then slipped it inside her.

“Oh dear Lord,” she groaned.

He pulled out, circled her entrance then plunged his tongue back inside her. It was too much. He had pushed her to the edge and she couldn’t hold back.

She had to come.

Miller arched her back, closing her eyes as she exploded. Pleasure spread through her body, leaving her skin tingling in its wake. Her head flopped, exhaustion filling her as the last waves of pleasure disappeared.

Warm arms surrounded her, lifting her.

“Stand for a moment, baby, while I dry you.”

Opening her eyes, Miller watched Rogan through sleepy eyes. “I’ll be all right in a minute.”

He smiled and dried her before lifting her into his arms again. He sat her at the end of the bed as he drew back the covers then tucked her in.

Sitting beside her, he ran his hand over her head.

“What about you?” she asked with a yawn.

“Don’t worry about me. You’re exhausted,
a thaisce
. Go to sleep.”

“But—”

“Shh. Close your eyes. I’ll be here until you go to sleep.”

Unable to keep her eyes open, she shut them and drifted off.

***

Miller yawned as Rogan’s phone rang the next morning, waking her. She hadn’t heard him come to bed last night. She’d slept like the dead. He reached over and grabbed it, giving her a light kiss before answering it.