Redemption Song (11 page)

Ethan only hesitated for a split second, but he looked a bit nervous, which she thought was kind of cute. When he spoke, his had a slight grin. “Could it be?”

Alaina didn’t even think. “Yeah. I think it could be.”

Ethan’s eyes never veered from hers. He bore deeper and deeper as though he was trying to find something within her that he didn’t quite understand. Usually, she could break his gaze after this long, but not this time. He was holding strong.

He leaned closer, reached out a hand, and pulled a piece of stray hair from in front of her eyes, and ran it down behind her ear. His fingers stopped at her chin where he felt of her skin. His face was so close now.

Alaina’s heart beat like a bass drum inside her chest. He was going to kiss her! How had this happened so quickly? Was she ready for this?

He shifted and drew even closer. She could smell the faint aroma of his cologne. His hot breaths bounced off her cheek as his lips parted. Her eyes closed. So close now. She could imagine the feel of his lips on hers . . .

What was she thinking! She couldn’t do this. She wasn’t even being honest with Ethan. He knew what she had been through . . . but not what she was going through. He didn’t know what he was getting himself into. She wasn’t being fair to him.

The soft feel of his lips grazed across hers . . .

She pulled away and sighed.

“I can’t.”

Ethan didn’t protest. He didn’t push. He pulled away, gave her an understanding shrug, and said, “I’m sorry.”

That stupid lump rose in Alaina’s throat, but she swallowed it back down. She was getting good at that lately. “No, I’m sorry. I’m . . . I’m just not ready.”

“It’s okay, Alaina. I understand.”

“Why don’t you call me Ali?”

Ethan’s eyes widened and he understood perfectly what she meant. He held the back of her hand to his lips and gave it a soft, tender kiss.

“We better get inside.”

“Okay.”

Ethan reluctantly released her hand and exited the vehicle. He walked to her side of the car, opened her door, and reached to help her out. They walked in silence up the little walk lined in perennials, then up the three white painted stairs to the front porch. They reached the doorway.

Alaina paused.

In a split second decision, she turned quickly, rose to her tip toes, and planted the swiftest of kisses on Ethan’s smooth cheek. She turned the door knob and entered the living room before Ethan had the chance to say a single word.

Alaina bolted for her room ignoring the sleeping tall man on the couch and the light he must have left on in the kitchen. When she didn’t hear the door open behind her, she thought it safe and took a second to check in on Ben.

Her little brother lay comfortably on the top bunk, sleeping peacefully as if all was wonderful in his world. Alaina climbed high enough to kiss his forehead, analyzing that his fever had diminished throughout the night. She readjusted his hat so that it rested properly on his head, and ran from the room before Ethan had the chance to make it up the stairs.

When Alaina was in her room, safely alone behind her closed door, she collapsed onto her bed, attempting to slow the dizzying spin in her mind. She was a mixed up mess of emotions. She ran over and over the events of the night, as if watching a black and white picture show in her mind. Ethan’s broad smile swarmed in her memory. The safe feeling she felt every time he held her hand in his. Then, that moment when their lips had almost touched . . .

There it was, when Alaina had thought it would never be possible for her again.

Little butterflies and a cheesy grin.

Ethan

Ethan stood frozen on the porch.

Alaina liked him. She was obviously a little freaked out, but she’d kissed him; that had to mean something.

Ethan had never felt for a girl what he felt for Alaina. Things with Vanessa were always so complicated. No matter what they were doing, it was an inevitable fact that it would contain some sort of pointless drama. He’d just assumed all girls were that way.

But Alaina was different.

Her lips still burned on his cheek as he finally opened the door and entered the house. Ted’s snoring gave away his position on the couch, but Ethan noticed a light still on in the kitchen. He made his way across the room to turn it off, but when he reached the switch, he was startled by the voice coming from a stool by the island.

“Fun night?”

Granny Mae looked at him knowingly and cast a sly smile.

“Uh . . . yeah. Really fun, actually.”

“I figured you would like Alaina once you got to know her. Not quite the obsessive fan you were expecting, huh?”

Ethan scoffed, remembering that conversation. He couldn’t have been more wrong.

“She is something, alright,” Ethan said. He grinned to himself and moved to the sink to grab a glass of water.

Granny Mae’s smile faded a little. “Ethan, honey, can I ask you something without you getting offended?”

“Sure, Granny. Shoot.”

“Well, I see that you and Alaina are getting to know one another, and I know how these things go sometimes with kids your age . . .”

Ethan wasn’t sure where she was going with this.

“. . . but I think that you need to know that Alaina has been through more in the last year than most people go through in their entire lives. She can’t afford to be hurt again. Are you following me?”

Ethan took the seat next to his grandmother.

“You think I’m going to end up hurting Alaina?”

“No, dear, I would never expect you to do anything on purpose, but it’s just that you are not going to be around here forever. You and I both know why you’re in Fairhope in the first place and we both know that you’ll be hitting the road again as soon as your mother gives you the permission to do so.”

Ethan remained unmoving, refusing to meet his grandmother’s gaze.

“You know the real reason I’m here?”

Granny Mae reached out and rubbed the top of his hand. “Of course I do, lil’ E. I know you love me, but even I know you would never postpone a tour just to come visit your old grandmother. Your mother explained everything before you arrived.”

Ethan let out a heavy sigh.

“Granny, I know what you think . . .”

“Do you?”

“Yeah. You think I’m just like all the other stars my age. I get a little success, make a little money, and all of a sudden I think I’m invincible and can do whatever I want. But it’s not like that. It’s . . .,” Ethan sighed. “It’s just not like that.”

Granny Mae reached out and grazed her hand down Ethan’s cheek, making him feel like the same twelve year old boy he’d been the last time he talked to her like this.

“I don’t think that, Ethan.”

“You don’t?”

“No. I think you’re a very special, talented boy who happened to lose his way for a while. Honey, just because you mess up once doesn’t mean you can’t fix it. I already see a difference in the Ethan sitting here and the one that climbed out of Mr. Hinkle’s plane.”

Ethan laughed remembering that terrifying, ancient plane and its extremely southern pilot.

He sighed and continued. “I don’t know, Granny Mae. I messed up pretty bad this time. I . . . I don’t even know what I was thinking. I knew not to get in that car. I was just so fed up with it all. I felt like everything was snowballing on me and . . . I freaked. I guess you’re pretty mad at me, huh?”

“No, baby. I was a little disappointed when I heard, but I know that you’ll fix everything in the end. I have faith in you.”

“Now you sound like Alaina.”

Granny Mae smiled. “I’ll take that as a compliment. She’s pretty special, don’t you think?”

You have no idea
, Ethan thought. But he highly doubted that Alaina would be so quick to forgive like his grandmother was.

“She doesn’t know the real reason I’m here, does she?” Ethan asked quietly, already knowing the answer.

“No.”

Ethan sighed. “She can’t find out, Granny Mae. Her parents were killed by someone doing the same stupid thing I did. That guy I almost hit could have died and his daughter would have been left behind just like Alaina and Ben. She will never understand.”

“I wouldn’t be so quick to assume that, lil’ E. Alaina is a mature young lady. Don’t you think she deserves the truth from you?”

“Alaina makes me want to be a better person, Granny Mae.”

“She tends to have that affect on people.”

“It doesn’t matter what excuse I give her, she won’t understand why I did that.”

“Ethan, do you care for Alaina?

Ethan looked up at his grandmother with a sheepish expression. “Is it that obvious?”

Granny Mae gave him an understanding smile. “Something you will learn as you get older, sweetie, is that sometimes the hardest things we have to say are the hardest because they must be said to the people we care the most about. Regardless of whether Alaina finds forgiveness for you or not, it doesn’t change the fact that she still deserves the truth. She might even appreciate you more for it in the end.”

“I hope you’re right.” Ethan said lightly.

Granny patted his hand. “I usually am.” She rose slowly from her stool. “Well, I’m pooped. I’m going to head for bed.”

Ethan watched as his grandmother made her way slowly across the room. She looked so much older than he remembered. Weaker. His mind flashed back to the scene between her, Ben, and Alaina earlier that evening. Alaina had not wanted to leave Ben with Granny Mae. She seemed so worried. Why? Granny had dealt with children before. Why would it matter if she watched Ben for a while . . . unless there was more going on with Granny than he realized.

“Granny, are you sick?”

Granny stopped short in the doorway of the kitchen and turned back to him. “Why would you think that, lil’ E?”

“I was just thinking about earlier. How reluctant Alaina was to leave Ben with you.”

Granny considered this carefully, taking her time to find the correct response. “Ethan, you may soon find that you’re not the only one with things you find hard to say.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means you don’t have to worry about me, dear. I might be old, but I’m tough. And no, I’m not sick.”

That was a relief, but still didn’t explain Alaina’s strange behavior. Maybe he would ask her about it tomorrow.

Once Ethan’s grandmother had exited the kitchen, he dumped the remains of his water in the sink and moved past sleeping Ted to the staircase. When Ethan reached the top of the flight, he paused before opening his bedroom door, shooting one last glance down the hall toward Alaina’s room.

Ethan may not understand everything that was going on, but he knew for certain that he was crazy about the girl that lay on the other side of that door. And he didn’t know how much time they had left together, but he knew without a doubt that he was going to make the most of every single second of it.

Ethan turned the knob of his bedroom door and before entering the room, under his breath, he whispered.

“Sweet dreams, Ali.”

Alaina

Alaina hit the snooze button several times as the sun stubbornly rose outside her window. It was a dreary, rainy Tuesday morning and she had to get up and get to work. Alaina had been marked off the schedule at the restaurant for the previous day, but to make up for lost time, she agreed to work a shift for one of the girls who wanted the day off. That put Alaina working a double shift. Needless to say, it was going to be a long day, but Alaina’s desperate need for money highly outweighed her reluctance to roll out of bed.

She was already tired from her lack of sleep the previous night. Her outing with Ethan had left her on a natural high, incapable of allowing her to become the slightest bit sleepy until it was already too late.

Alaina began with her normal morning devotional. Today she chose to read about hope . . . an attribute she had been highly lacking in the past few weeks. She was beginning to realize that the concept of hope and faith in times of crisis was much easier talked about than actually carried out. Alaina was doing her best, but after weeks of the endless cycle of work, taking care of Ben, and bouncing from one doctor to the next, she was approaching complete burn-out mode. There were only so many grown up responsibilities her teenage mind could process at a time before she felt like exploding. Her night with Ethan could not have come at a better time, and although she still wasn’t completely comfortable with allowing herself to become close to anyone in her fragile state of mind, she was still more grateful for the distraction than he would ever realize. She knew it was only a matter of time, though, before she would have to explain all of the details. Clue him into what actually went into spending a day in her world. Would he leave? Probably. But what other choice did she have?

Alaina didn’t have any chance encounters in the hallway that morning. She was successfully unseen throughout both trips to and from the bathroom. When she was completely dressed, her little black two-pocket apron already tied around her waist, she exited her room to start her daily routine.

First stop: Ben’s room. She gave a light two tap knock and placed her ear against the door. She wasn’t positive, but she thought she could hear two different sets of heavy breathing coming from the occupants inside the room. Being much more careful than she normally was, Alaina turned the knob and tiptoed into the room.

Ethan lay on the bottom bunk, the covers lying loosely around his waist. Alaina tried to suppress a giggle to keep from waking him and Ben. Ethan looked hilarious snuggled into his big pillow, which was cased in pictures of little basketballs, footballs, and baseballs. He was slightly out of his Hollywood element. His expression was peaceful and his skin was smooth and appeared soft to the touch. His full lips were parted slightly, allowing the air to flow easily to his lungs. Alaina imagined what it would have been like if she would've just let Ethan kiss her when he had tried. Did she have regrets? Maybe a little . . . but she knew it was for the best. As fed up as she was with doing the responsible thing, she knew it would eventually come to that anyway. There was a time to listen to her heart and a time to listen to her head, and right now, the best thing she could do would be to keep a level head.