Rediscovering Peace (Military Love Book 1) (9 page)

“What about now? We could be more than friends.”

“Braden, we already went over this. I just left my fiancé. Granted he was a cheating asshole, but I am still not over it. If you can’t be my friend maybe it’s better if I leave now. I don’t want to lead you on.” I put the napkin I was holding down and was getting ready to get up and leave.

“Stop! I don’t want you to leave, Skye. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have gone there again. I can do friends. I... I had just hoped that you felt the same thing I am feeling.” I could see the hurt in his eyes and I hated myself for putting it there. How could he still feel that way about me after all those years? After I walked away from him and gave up on us? He couldn’t possibly still be in love with me – we broke up forever ago.

“Okay, I will stay. But if you ever feel like you can’t do this and can’t simply be friends please let me know. I really do not want to hurt you, Braden. I might be damaged from what Oliver put me through but I am not heartless and I care about you. I always have.”

“I already told you I will take you anyway I can get you. I would rather cut my tongue off than risking you walking away from me again. I didn’t only miss my girlfriend I missed my best friend as well.”

I was glad that Braden agreed to be friends. As much as I was still attracted to him, being friends was all I could handle at the moment. I thought I was going to marry Oliver. There was no way I would get over that any time soon. The wounds were still too fresh and I doubted I would ever heal from them.

“Have you seen
Fast and Furious 6
yet?” Braden interrupted my thoughts of Oliver.

“No I haven’t. I have wanted to see it but haven’t had the time to go.”

“Okay,
Fast and Furious
it is. We should probably head out considering I still have to go home and change. The movie starts at 9:00 p.m.”

I looked at my watch and noticed two hours had flown by in no time. Spending time with Braden had always had that effect. When we were together time went by fast, sometimes too fast.

Braden refused to let me pay for my dinner and once he covered the bill we left the restaurant.

“Do you just want to drive with me and I will bring you back to your car after the movie?” he asked me.

“Sure, why not.” I was eager to spend as much time as possible with him and welcomed the car ride. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed Braden in my life until he found me again. Life was always easier when he was around. I was determined to keep him in my life as long as he would allow it.

We made the short way over to his apartment complex. Memories started flashing through my mind. Of course he would live in the same complex Oliver had lived in. I tried to hide the tears from Braden but a sob escaped me and he shot around to look at me.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Did I say something to upset you?”

“No you didn’t say anything wrong. It’s stupid really, but Oliver used to live in this apartment complex. The memories just hurt, you know. We were so happy. I don’t know where and why things went wrong. How could he do this to me? He asked me to be his wife. I really thought it was the real thing. I guess I was wrong. I am sorry for putting my sob story on you.”

“Listen, Skye, you can always talk to me about anything. I don’t care if it’s three in the morning or four in the afternoon, if you need me I will be there for you. As for Oliver, he’s a jerk. He will realize sooner or later what he lost when he let you walk away. Trust me, I know from experience. I have no idea why anyone would cheat on you. You’re a genuinely great girl and if I was him I would’ve held on to that tight.”

“Thank you, Braden. I hope the pain will subside eventually. I doubt the pain will ever go away completely but I am trying to move on. I know he doesn’t deserve me, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still love and miss him.”

“A part of you will probably always love him, after what you told me you did have good times together. But don’t let the hurt consume you, Skye. You have to open your heart to someone again eventually. It would be a shame if a gorgeous girl like you would end up alone. Come on, sweetie, let’s go inside so I can change. If you don’t want to go out to the movies anymore we can just stay here and binge on some Netflix shows.”

I thought about just ditching the movies and the idea of spending time alone with Braden was tempting. But I also knew I could only fight my attraction for him for so long and I wouldn’t hurt him like that. I knew I was nowhere ready to give Braden what he needed from me and casual sex would just destroy our newly rebuilt friendship.

“No, movie is fine. I am up to anything that will distract me from thoughts of
him.
”

Braden came around and helped me out of the car. As soon as he closed the door to his apartment his ACU jacket came off. I was surprised I didn’t start drooling at the sight of his broad shoulders and muscular back. Who said a back couldn’t be a turn on? If I hadn’t been attracted to him eight years ago I would definitely be now. I needed to take a deep breath. Friends. Braden and I are friends. That’s all. I had no romantic feelings for Braden. It was only friendship. At least I kept telling myself that.

“Why don’t you sit down while I go change into some other clothes? I will be right back, don’t run away,” he said with a wink and a smile that brought out his dimple. God, that dimple had always driven me insane. Braden James Parker was trouble – that much I was sure of.

We arrived at the movie theater a little later and again Braden refused to let me pay for anything. I was growing frustrated with his need to pay for everything.

“You know I make my own money and I can pay for my own things, right?” I glared at him.

“I know you can, that doesn’t mean you should. I invited you to come with me so it’s my treat. It’s not a big deal, Skye. No need to be upset. I will let you pay for your popcorn if that makes you feel better.”

“It does,” I answered and went to order popcorn and a drink. I had forgotten how stubborn Braden was when it came to these things, and I don’t know why it bothered me so much. Maybe it was because it felt more like a date if he was covering the costs, and I didn’t want him to think this was a date. We were simply two friends hanging out and having a good time together.

Soon we were seated in the dark movie theater, and I felt Braden put his arms around me. I tried not to read too much into it and just enjoy his company. Caige and I hugged all the time, and it meant nothing more than friendship. So why was I burning up with need and why did I find myself wanting to be as close as possible to Braden? I couldn’t deny that I was drawn to him, but I was sure that it was solely physical. I definitely wouldn’t say no to a night between the sheets with him, he had been a good lover back then and I was sure the years had only improved his skills. What the hell was wrong with me? I just broke up with my fiancé and was already thinking about sleeping with another man. My brain was obviously very confused.

I tried hard to concentrate on the movie, and I finally found my mind shutting up and was able to let myself relax. Of course, I was a huge sucker for Vin Diesel and Paul Walker so it had only been a matter of time till they caught my attention. The movie was action packed, and I loved it. Unfortunately, it was over too soon and we were on our way back to the restaurant. As much as I didn’t want the night to end I knew it had to before I would make a stupid decision and ruin Braden’s and my friendship.

“Thank you for keeping me company tonight, Skye. I am glad you agreed to hang out,” he said as he pulled me in for a hug.

I threw my arms around his middle and answered, “Thank you for inviting me. I had a great time and it was just what I needed.”

Braden walked me to my car and opened the door for me, but before I could get in, he bent down and kissed my cheek. I tried to ignore the fluttering feeling in the pit of my stomach caused by his lips on my face. As much as I loved having Braden back, he couldn’t have had worse timing to show back up. I knew he still had feelings for me, and he deserved a girl who wasn’t as damaged as me. He needed someone who still believed in love and could love him with all her heart. I knew I wasn’t that girl. I just hoped that Braden would open his heart when the one who could give him everything I couldn’t would show up. I wanted him to be happy.

I got in my car and drove away, once again leaving my first love behind. I wonder how many times he would let me get away before he completely gave up on me. I had seen in his eyes that he had wanted to say more to me after the movie, but I also knew that my words from earlier stopped him. Braden had always been very considerate and had always put me before him yet it would be just a matter of time before he would have enough. Clearly being my friend is not an easy thing to do. I was broken, and he would soon see that and disappear out of my life again. It was better that I decided to keep him in the friend zone, my heart couldn’t take any more hurt, and I wasn’t going to give Braden the chance to break it again. No guy would ever be allowed back in my heart.

After a quick shower once I got home, I got comfortable in the living room with Faith and Caige. I hadn’t been surprised that they were still up when I got home. They were the queen and king of gossip, and I knew they were hoping to hear some juicy news from me.

“So how was your evening with Parker?” Caige asked and I could feel Faith’s expectant eyes on me.

“We had a good time. We went to The Grill caught up on the last eight years and went to see
Fast and Furious 6
afterwards. It was a nice evening and a good distraction. I am happy to have Braden back as a friend. I love you guys but sometimes I need someone who will just listen without any comments. Braden is that person.”

“I still have to get used to you calling him Braden. He has always been Parker to me. So what did you guys talk about?” Caige stated.

“About his time in the army and about his mom. I hate that I wasn’t there for him when she died. I was so selfish back then.”

Faith laughed. “Girl, you don’t have one selfish bone in your body and I know you did what you thought was best for both of you. I am sure he understands that. So any funny business we should know about?”

“Faith! I told you nothing would happen and I would appreciate it if you would just cut the shit. I am tired of being a damn parrot and repeating myself.”

“Did he tell you about his time in Afghanistan?” Caige interrupted us trying to avoid an argument between us girls.

“Not really, he just told me that it was rough but that he tries not to think about it too much. Why is there something I should know?”

“It’s not my story to tell and I am sure he has his reasons for not telling you. I am sure with time he will. After all you are BFFs now, right?” He shrugged.

I wondered what had happened in Afghanistan. I had heard stories from my dad, however, I was aware that it wasn’t a subject a lot of the soldiers wanted to talk about. I knew bad things happened, and I was sure my dad has only ever told me half the truth. I couldn’t blame him but I was determined to find out what Braden had endured. I wouldn’t let him go through this alone and would be by his side as a friend. 

After I went to bed, I thought about what could have possibly happened but I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. For the first time in the week since Oliver and I broke up, I didn’t cry myself to sleep, and I slept peacefully.

S
kye

The next weeks flew by in a blur. I was knee deep in the vodka campaign and crazy busy getting the launch of the product ready. I spent most of my days in the office and even went into the office on the weekends to stay on top of everything. Braden had become a big part of our group and was constantly hanging out at our house. More often than not, I would come home from work and find him plopped on our sofa with Faith and Caige. I knew Caige was happy to finally have a guy as backup instead of having to put up with Faith and me by himself. I still had to fight my attraction to Braden and I was slowly moving on from my breakup with Oliver.

One Thursday night I came home from a frustrating day from work and found my friends on our back porch. It had been a beautiful day, and I wasn’t at all surprised to see that Braden had decided to fire up the grill. As soon as they saw me approaching they instantly got quiet. They must’ve been talking about me. I didn’t care – I was just happy that I didn’t have to cook and decided to open a bottle of wine.