Regency 05 - Intrigue (6 page)

Gideon sighed in relief. It had been difficult to hold the boy and if Wolf had but realized it, he would not have been able to.

Shoving a hand through his hair, further disrupting his blond curls, Gideon pondered this new problem as he paced. If Wolf and he were at constant odds, Malvina would notice. And Gideon truly did not want her to worry about a son she couldn’t control. He wanted, in fact, to remove every worry from her shoulders and make her happy. He wanted to love her.

Gideon stopped in his tracks. His eyes widened a bit and he stared at the floor. A frown creased his brow, hands tightening into fists. He felt like punching a wall.

The worst thing that could have happened, had. He was well on his way to falling in love with her.

This was not good.

Malvina sensed a certain restraint when Gideon and Wolf joined her for dinner that evening. They were polite to each other but with a certain coldness on Wolf’s part and a reserve on Gideon’s that had her contemplating what could have possibly occurred to cause it.

And Wolf was far more polite to her than he’d been since they’d retrieved him from school. He smiled and inquired after her health, something she couldn’t recall him ever having done before.

The gentlemen exchanged a look and Malvina’s eyes narrowed. Gideon was behind her son’s new attitude, then. She hated to think how this came about as she, more than anyone, knew how temperamental Wolf could be. He had always been a troubled lad, his violent starts worsening dramatically after his father’s death. She wondered just how much Wolf knew of his father’s activities four years ago.

Malvina shook her head, as if to shake away the memories plaguing her. Glancing up, she realized the gentlemen gazed at her expectantly. Had they asked her a question?

To avoid appearing rude, she murmured, “Yes, of course.”

A grin split Gideon’s face and even Wolf snickered in a rare display of actual mirth. Malvina felt her own lips inching upward as she asked, “I have agreed to something I normally would not even consider. What is it?”

Gideon shot a look at Wolf. Her son stifled a laugh behind his hand.

The elder of the two turned his full attention on her. “Wolf and I thank you for your permission, my love, but we will pass on dressing in skirts, painting our faces, and dancing a jig in front of Carlton House.” Her grin became a reality, a laugh even bubbled forth. “Oh,” he continued as an afterthought, “the monkey declines, as well.”

She couldn’t hold it any longer. She laughed until tears ran down her face, marveling at how very good it felt just to laugh. Then, suddenly and without the slightest hint of warning, her tears became anything but happy. She buried her face in her handkerchief, trying vainly to stem the flow, but to no avail. Misery choked her, consumed her, until all she felt was the burning in her lungs as she struggled to draw a breath.

Too much had happened, was still happening. In an effort to protect her son, she allowed herself to get mixed up with a man whose loyalties were suspect. In an effort to protect herself, she allowed herself to become engaged to a man she’d met only hours before. And now, several days later, she experienced a moment of happiness, a moment of joy with her son and her betrothed. Always present in the back of her mind was the inescapable knowledge of her nemesis,
That Man
.

Sniffling, pressing her tiny scrap of a handkerchief to her eyes and then nose, she was dimly aware of a large form hunkering down beside her chair. A hand clasped her arm, offering comfort when she wasn’t sure she even deserved it.

“Malvina, love. What ails you?”

Gideon’s warm tones washed over her, sending her into a new fit of sobbing. It was some moments before she was able to respond with a choked, “Oh, nothing, everything!”

“Everything?”

Malvina’s head lifted, settling on Gideon’s warm brown eyes. The warmth was a little less now, as if her statement had hurt him. Perhaps it had. She’d not been thinking of him when she declared everything in her life was wrong.

“I didn’t mean you…us, Gideon,” she hastened to assure him.

It struck her in that moment that of all the things in her life, Gideon was one that brought her comfort despite how little she knew of him. But it made no sense to trust him, find joy in his presence. And he could certainly find a much more suitable bride in London.

She admitted, “Though I do have certain reservations about that.”

Gideon nodded but said nothing, his face carefully neutral.

Malvina sniffed once, then sighed. She found a large handkerchief shoved under her nose and she accepted it gratefully. As she blew her nose and wiped away the proof of her heartache, she pondered what had made her tears turn suddenly sour.

She had not laughed since she was a girl, she realized, well before she was married. After that, there had never been a reason for laughter. Life and her marriage had been difficult, frustrating, and sometimes downright terrifying. Her husband had been demanding and rough, without a sensitive bone in his body. Gideon treated her with respect, gentleness, and kindness. He made her feel beautiful, loved, and…happy.

He made her happy. That was why she had cried so piteously. This man, this young and beautiful man, had the power to make her happy. She didn’t deserve it.

She didn’t even know who he was or what he wanted with her. He said he would marry her but he couldn’t possibly. His age loomed in her mind, an obstacle to any real relationship they could have.

Her thoughts seemed constantly to focus on that fact. Why was she so against it? It concerned Gideon not at all, or so it seemed. But Wolf didn’t care for the age difference at all.

She realized her son wasn’t in the room. “Where is Wolf?”

“He has gone to allow you time to compose yourself. No doubt he is pacing the floor in the drawing room awaiting your appearance as reassurance.”

New tears threatened but Malvina held them back. Her son was not lost to all goodness, then. He was a good boy at heart, and he would grow up to be a good man. If Gideon was there to guide him. Without Gideon…

A tiny smile fluttered on her lips. “Do you think?”

“Sometimes,” he replied flippantly. “When it doesn’t tax my poor brain too much.”

“That is not what I meant, you awful man,” she scolded, suppressing a giggle.

Gideon smiled at her, a smile that held a small amount of sadness. He clasped her fingers. “Malvina, we have all had things in our lives that weigh heavily upon our minds. No one is immune to making mistakes. Sometimes, we need someone to help us through the difficult times we put ourselves through. Do you understand?”

She nodded, understanding far better than he could ever know. “I do, Gideon.” She gave him a thoughtful look. “You have done something for which you are ashamed?”

It was as if someone flipped a switch inside him. His eyes shuttered, his mouth firmed, his very essence dulling before her wondering gaze. Evidently, she’d touched a sore spot.

He withdrew from her, reaching into his waistcoat pocket and retrieving a small velvet bag. “This is for you,” he said, his action screaming of his wish to not discuss whatever pain he held deep within. Malvina wanted to frown at his lack of trust in her when he demanded so very much of that from her, but she forced a smile instead, pretending interest in the bag he held.

She took the offering, opening the little bag and upending its contents into her palm. Delicate silver chain spilled out, covering the pendant within. Malvina gently moved the chain aside. A single flawless pearl, large and creamy white, accented with a golden topaz and one tiny, grass-green peridot, met her wondering gaze. Her trembling fingers brushed over the bauble. For several moments, she couldn’t speak past the sudden lump in her throat.

Finally, swallowing hard, she asked, “Why?”

“As my betrothed, you are entitled to a gift to show my regard.” At her frown, his lips twitched. “And a lady deserves jewels to complement her beauty.” Her brows twitched upward. He leaned close, sending a shiver over her skin as she wondered if he’d kiss her. His fingers caressed her cheek. “There does not exist a jewel worthy of you, love. I can only hope you find this meager offering…charming.”

He broke into a grin at his own words. Unable to suppress her answering grin, she plucked the jewel from its satin bed, handing the bag back to her betrothed. She studied it from every angle, choking back the tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. She didn’t know if it was the gesture itself or the words that accompanied the gesture that brought on the waterworks this time.

“Here, allow me.”

Gideon took it from her nerveless fingers, pulling her to her feet. Standing behind her, he clasped the thing about her throat, allowing the pendant to settle just above her breasts. She shivered as his fingers traced a path of fire over the back of her neck, the sensation lingering even when he moved to stand before her.

Meeting his eyes, she shivered again. Her fingers rose to touch the pendant. “Thank you,” she whispered. “It’s beautiful.”

“There are more elaborate pieces at my estate, family heirlooms, but I thought this one suited you best.”

She could not prevent her jaw from dropping. “Family? How did you come to have this now?”

He shrugged. “I’d just retrieved them from the jeweler—annual cleaning—when my superiors called me in and sent me to investigate a widow suspected of treason.” Her shock turned to horror at the reminder of his reasons for being there. He didn’t allow her to respond. “I dropped the rest at the jeweler but this one was missed, a bit of an afterthought. I’d tucked into my waistcoat pocket and not noticed it until halfway here.” Another shrug. “I believe I was meant to give this to you.”

“This is—” Her throat closed on the words, the significance of his gesture slamming her in the chest. “I can’t possibly accept this!” She grappled for the clasp, desperate to remove the thing and return it to its rightful place.

His large hands closed over hers, pulling her face close to his. “I am giving this to you, Malvina. No matter what happens, this is yours.” He redid the clasp but did not release her. “No matter what.”

His lips smiled but his eyes held a tinge of sadness, something Malvina didn’t quite understand. She heard the sincerity in his tone, though, and nodded her acceptance. He pressed a quick kiss to her upturned lips and stepped back, holding out his hand.

“Shall we join your son?”

Malvina slipped her fingers into his, oddly determined in that moment to marry this man whether she deserved him or not. One day, she would know everything there was to know about him, even if he refused to open up now. She was patient. Hadn’t she spent well over ten years of her life with a man just because he was her husband before God?

This would be easy.