Regina (11 page)

Grandpa was pretty shaken at the service; he
couldn’t stand without dad helping him. I felt so bad for him, his
wife of over 55 years just died and he was visibly heartbroken. His
black suit embellished his height and made him look impressive. I
was in awe of my handsome grandfather and his strength for he
didn’t cry until her coffin was lowered into the ground.

He kept whispering, ‘I’ll never kiss my Lydia
again’, thru his tears.

The wake was bigger than the service; I met a
lot of mom’s friends and their kids. Katie was there with her
family. Strangely enough, I didn’t feel so isolated after that. The
wake was held at Grandpa’s house because it was large enough to
accommodate everyone. Dad and I stood by the grand fireplace,
watching everyone.

Our living room was filled with people
I didn’t know, except for those I met at the party a few days ago.
I felt a little self-conscious not talking to anyone, but it
was
my grandmother’s wake. I think
it was acceptable to maintain my privacy. My cousins were talking
to people they knew but didn’t bother to talk to me. I wanted to go
upstairs and hide in my room until all these people
left.

I noted the guy from the party, Steven was
there. Why would he come to my grandmother’s wake? I wondered.

I felt giddy, like I was dying to see him and
here he finally was. But I was dying to see him. Ever since that
dance at the party, I wanted desperately to see him again before I
left for home. I checked myself. My giddy school girl impression
can’t be demonstrated at a funeral.

I excused myself from my dad and made my way
to him. Steven’s face brightened significantly when he saw me
coming towards him. He looked so handsome in his black jacket and
pants. His sturdy chest was dressed in a white shirt and yellow
tie. My smile widened as I neared him.

“It’s nice to see you again.” I teased.

“You to, Regina.” He emphasized my name and
widened his smile.

“So you do know my name. And here I thought
you danced with girls whose name you didn’t know all the time!”

“No, just the beautiful ones.” He said to
me.

I blushed and looked away. For days I thought
of nothing but this guy and the dance we had together. I yearned to
see him again, and here he was, at my Grandmother’s wake. My mind
started to wonder about his lips. They were so kissable. I began to
ache with yearning, all I could think about was making out with
this guy. I started to feel guilty for wanting to see Steven again.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea to talk to him so much. I don’t
know if Jeff would be ok with this.

“What brings you to my Grandmother’s wake?” I
asked, trying to avoid the obvious statement he just made.

“Mrs. Underwood was my mom’s
5
^th
grade teacher. I didn’t
know she had another granddaughter.” He said with a smile on his
lips and a twinkle in his eyes.

“Me neither.” I muttered.

I needed some air, so we walked outside to
the front yard. The country was alive with beauty and I took a
moment to observe the green in front of me. It was a peaceful day.
I inhaled the country air deeply, filling my lungs and clearing my
head in the process.

“So, if my grandmother taught your mom, does
that make us related?” I joked out loud.

“In this town, it might.” He laughed.

As Steven said that, he leaned to my left and
put up his arm against the wall. It was so sexy! Was he
purposefully trying to get closer to me? I could smell his cologne
and felt my knees go weak.

Trying not to show how vulnerable I was, I
smiled at him and sat in the nearest rocking chair. I crossed my
ankles and put my hands in my lap like a good southern lady does.
Steven smiled his, what I was beginning to call, trademark grin.
Moving with grace, he sat in the chair beside me and began rocking
gently. I felt my heart race wonderfully as he looked at me. I did
start to feel stupid with both us of sitting in the rockers,
smiling at each other.

“Did you have fun at the party?” He asked,
his smile dazzling me.

“Yes. I’ve never been to a pasture party
before in New York.” I said giggling.

“Probably never will.”

We sat in silence for a moment, looking out
at the horizon. The white fence looked old against the beautiful
tank. Maybe Grandpa and I should paint that next. I could picture
all the fun we could have in my head. I bet we could ask mom and
dad to help out! Aunt Rachel and her family could come as well. It
would be an Underwood family project!

“How much longer are you here for?” Steven
asked, brining me back to earth.

“We leave the first week in August.” I
couldn’t help but show my excitement.

Steven laughed again but not while looking at
me. Argggh! I realized that I sounded like an incredibly
insensitive, city snob.

“Not that I don’t like it here. In fact, Lee
is very charming. I can understand why my grandfather loves it
here.” I added.

That seemed to help my stupidity. Steven
nodded in agreement while looking at his feet. He was rocking
gently in the chair, in deep thought.

“Do you think you’ll be here long enough to
go out with me?” He asked me from his chair.

I wasn’t shocked but I was a little
surprised. I didn’t expect him to ask me out, only to keep playing
the little game he had going with me. Since I was only here for a
short time, I thought he would flirt with me, a lot and I would
return his flirts, but nothing would happen and I would go home. I
felt a thrill go thru my body for I wanted to go out with him very
much! I felt so conflicted! I wanted to go out with him but I
couldn’t betray Jeff and our relationship.

Then again, Jeff wouldn’t know. How could he?
I wouldn’t tell him and I don’t think Steven would either. My
parents didn’t think too much of my relationship with Jeff, so I
knew they wouldn’t care or mention it to him. In two months, I
would be gone and no one would be the wiser. I suppressed a giggle
while I let the excitement pass thru me. I loved this kind of a
secret.

I turned my head flirtingly to Steven. Our
eyes met and a spark seemed to pop between us that hadn’t been
there before. My legs went warm as I thought about going on a date
with him. I was about to answer him in a flirty way and say yes to
his offer when I stopped. Guilt flooded my entire body and stabbed
my heart. I winced with shame. This wasn’t the kind of lady I
was!

“You are very sweet to ask me Steven, but I
have a boyfriend.” I gushed stupidly and got up to leave him
sitting alone in my backyard. I smacked myself on the forehead when
I was out of sight, I sounded so stupid!

I couldn’t believe what I almost did! I
wanted to tell Jeff that I almost said yes to another guy’s offer
for a date but decided against it. Since I didn’t say yes, I
figured a little summer crush wasn’t important enough to tell him
about. I didn’t want to upset Jeff and our relationship, though I
was starting to get a little worried he was having a little summer
crush of his own.

Chapter Fifteen

In the weeks that passed after my
grandmother’s funeral, I thought a lot about Jeff. We didn’t talk
very often on our phones or by text due to my crappy service
coverage but we did talk by Skype. When we did talk, it was short
and not very romantic. He was involved with football camp, his
friends and was about to go on vacation with his family. I kept my
emotions in check, I didn’t want to appear as if I was jealous or
possessive but my patience was starting to fade with Jeff.

I tried to show him my little room and how I
changed it but he didn’t seem too interested. The walls were now
freshly painted white along with the bed, desk and chair. (Grandpa
and I had fun repainting them together.) One lone purple stripe ran
horizontally, at the top of the wall, around the room. The carpet
was clean and washed along with the armoire. Grandpa said we should
strip the armoire of paint and stain it instead of re-painting it.
He said it would make it look nicer in my room, more antique. The
bedding was now purple and made with a much higher thread count.
The brown comforter had purple and pink flowers running in vertical
stripes. A new gray steel light fixture hung from the ceiling,
giving the room a modern feel. It added warmth to the room, and I
loved it.

Grandpa granted me permission to redecorate
the room and I tackled it with enthusiasm. It helped pass the weeks
and I spent some quality time with my grandfather. We drove to a
nearby town to find the things I wanted because Lee certainly
didn’t have a store with the latest fashions. He taught me how to
paint, bait and fish, row a boat and mow the grass with an
industrial mower. He even taught me a lot about the country, for
instance, everything was fried here, even the tomatoes, and bacon
is served at every meal. And bacon grease is collected in order to
add flavor to the next meal. I soon became a fan of chicken fried
steaks after Grandpa made them one night.

Regardless of the scary incidents, I was
starting to have a good vacation. I thought I might feel depressed
from missing home, my friends and Jeff, but I wasn’t. In fact, I
felt more independent and in control of my life than before. I
didn’t need Jeff or any of my friends to make it here; they would
all be home when I returned. I began a new phase of living in Lee,
acceptance. Katie was a big part of that acceptance.

Katie Kramer was beginning to become my new
best friend. We had a lot in common. We loved the same music,
movies and books. At first, we spent a lot of time at my house,
just talking. We learned a lot about each other that summer. When
dad would go psycho, which was often, I would call Katie and we
would escape to the back roads together.

Katie’s mother, Marilyn was a single
mother and worked at the local insurance agency as a secretary.
Being an only child, Katie was the center of her mother’s world. I
got the feeling that her mother depended on Katie, and I
mean
really
depended on her.
Katie did the cooking, cleaning, laundry, repaired the house, and
paid the bills. They lived in a small house in town off Chambers
Street. It was close to the High School and she liked living in a
small town.

I found a lot of new friends while in Lee.
Katie was sweet and wanted me to feel accepted while I was here so
she introduced me to a lot of the local kids. She invited me to
Bastrop Lake to go camping and waterskiing with her mom. We went to
the movies and did some shopping in Brenham. A lot of people had
pasture parties and we would often go with Nat and Becky. The four
of us would pile into Katie’s tiny car and try to find a needle in
a haystack. I was spending less and less time alone. It was getting
to be the best of times for me here.

One day that summer I was sitting in the back
of the beat up pickup watching Billy, Rodney, and Joey challenging
each other in the lake. The boys wanted to play chicken with Katie
and Becky on their shoulders.

Steven was laughing at them while eating an
apple. His brown hair was blowing easy in the breeze. He seemed so
relaxed, sitting with one knee up and his back against the tree,
his right hand dangling carelessly from his knee as he ate the red
apple. The day was hot and bright, and the sun played behind the
clouds teasingly as everyone swam in Frank Color’s tank.

Usually, I avoided Steven and looking at him.
I was too tempted by the thought of him that the sight of him drove
me pleasantly crazy. My relationship with Jeff these days was
pretty much nonexistent. I was tempted to break up with Jeff, very
tempted.

These days, I avoided my parents as well.
Daddy was always with mom now that we buried Grandma Lydia. They
were always together, giggling. At first I thought it was cute but
now I find it as I do everything else, creped out. It was starting
to depress me. Even though my depression was evident, I stayed in
it because I got away with a lot of stuff at home. If I came home
late, no one said anything. If I tossed out a rude or sarcastic
comment, no one corrected me. If I wanted to take mom’s car out for
the day, no one said I couldn’t.

This was how I ended up at Mr. Color’s tank.
I got pretty angry at breakfast when mom and dad avoided the
conversation about my birthday party. Did they even care anymore?
So, I grabbed her keys and went into town. I had breakfast at the
best diner in town, the Lee Grille. It was owned by Steven’s
parents. It wasn’t a coincidence that I ended up there for I was
hoping to catch a glimpse of the luscious Steven. While I was
there, I decided to make a day out of it and went shopping at the
local stores. I bought a new pretty white and yellow sundress with
a plaid pattern. It had sunflowers sewn into the hem and looked
very nice on me. With matching shoes, scarf and jewelry for the
dress, I bought some other new clothes as well. Though the fashion
choices here were definitely not New York, they would work. I
needed to fit in and wearing the newest fashions would look snobby
to them.

While I was there, I ran into Katie.
She invited me to Mr. Color’s tank with the gang. I almost refused,
thinking I should take mom’s car back to her, when Katie told me
Steven would be there. Of course, I
had
to go.

The whole town used Mr. Color’s tank during
the summer and that was the way it was in Lee. It was picture
perfect: perfectly cut emerald green grass with tall oak and pine
trees surrounding the tank. Multi colored flowers covered the
ground in patches in the shade. The tank made an L shape but
separated in the middle, giving everyone a more shallow side for
the kids.

Drafted at age eighteen to serve his country
in the Vietnam War, Franklin Niles Color was a handsome man with a
lot of promise. He was quarterback of the Lee High School Football
team and played the drums in the band. Frank’s main desire was to
be farmer and a father like his dad. Married for over forty years
in a small town, Frank dreamed of a marriage like his parents.
Evelyn Schmitt was his high school sweetheart and Frank promised to
marry her once they graduated high school. As long as Frank lived,
he always talked about how blue his Evelyn’s were when she was
truly happy like the day he proposed to her. He said they made
quite the couple in school. Both had brown hair and blue eyes with
good looks. Miss Schmitt always had suitors and admires but her
heart belonged to Mr. Color.