Regrets of The Fallen (Victis Honor Book 1) (16 page)

The monk frowned. “Just… stay you.”

“I’ll try.”

“Not good enough.”

“It has to be.” Isabella met her gaze, not backing down. “I told you there are things you’ll have to accept about me. This… This is one. I don’t want to change, Haruka, really I don’t, but this… This isn’t something I can promise. I can’t promise you I’ll just sit back and let someone kill you, how can I do that?”

Haruka looked away with a growl. “This isn’t fair.”

“This is as fair as it gets.”

Haruka gave a sigh as she looked at her. “Not fair to me, then.”

Bella looked sad as she laid a hand on Haruka’s cheek. “I know.”
And I have a feeling, Haruka, that I’ll be the source of many unfair things for you. I hate myself for that… and for my weakness that prevents me from leaving.
She sighed, letting her hand fall. “We’re in a pretty bad situation right now, unless two people can sail a ship.”

“Not really. Need help.”

“Well, the pirates I fought are still alive…”

“Bad idea.”

“What’s a better idea?”

“Get help.”

“That’s going to be a little hard, Haruka, being in the middle of the ocean.”

Haruka moved towards the edge of the ship and raised her hands, moving them in a pattern in front of her while speaking softly. As she did so her hands alit with flame, and after several seconds she shoved them forwards, unleashing a fireball that sailed over the water and impacted against the other ship’s mast. The fire took quickly but burned slowly, eating away at the wood and sails. Haruka turned back to Isabella. “Busy waters. Someone should see.”

Isabella watched the fire burn, sending up light and smoke into the night sky. “Well that’s one way to do it, I guess.”

For the next few hours they had little to do. Haruka’s injuries weren’t bad, and Bella’s seemed to have mostly healed already, a byproduct of the transformation, so they weren’t hurried. They sat on the deck eating some of the ship’s stores and looking out for approaching ships. The night was clear and with a gentle breeze, comfortable enough even if they weren’t. Isabella fidgeted with the flask of water in her hand, turning it in her fingers. “We’ve been getting along worse over the last several days, haven’t we?” she said softly. “Because of me.”

Haruka shrugged, taking a bite of bread. “Touchy subjects. Strong emotions.”

“Yeah.” Isabella felt like a fool or a child, immature and irresponsible. “It’s only been twenty years, you know?” Haruka looked at her as she continued, “Twenty years since my emotions came back, and I’m still not used to them. Part of it is that you’re the first person I’ve become close with. I’m getting too comfortable with you too quickly, and that’s just… not good.”

Haruka tilted her head. “Bad thing? How?”

Bella sighed. “I really want a friend… I really do…” She looked away. “I just… It’s really not fair to you.”

“How?”

“I’m just… a lot of trouble, okay?”
Tell her. Tell her!
“I’m… I just have issues. My emotions are still hard to control and I’m going to be a pain.”
Coward
. Isabella looked down, knowing she was making a mistake keeping it to herself. She didn’t have the courage to fix it, though, not if it could mean Haruka leaving. She was being selfish, so selfish, but she couldn’t bring herself to let go.

Haruka shrugged again. “Whatever. I can take it.”

She had to get away from this conversation, forget about the secrets she was avoiding. Another topic entered her mind, one she was genuinely curious about. “Hey, didn’t that guy say something about your father?”

Haruka sighed. “He’s our problem. Black Sun leader.”

“Oh. You’re… Oh.” Isabella blinked. “I guess that explains why they’re so determined to catch us. Are you… Wait…” She looked at the monk. “You left your parents to come with me, too?”

“Just father.” Haruka looked at Isabella as if judging something. “You shared… I will. Just… Wait…” She folded her legs and rested her arms on her knees, closing her eyes.

Isabella watched her curiously. “What are you doing…?”

“Wait,” Haruka repeated. She tuned out the outside world, focusing her attention inwards. She directed her life energy through her body to her vocal chords and throat, strengthening them. After a full minute she opened her eyes, curious to see if it worked. “This is the first time I’ve tried this, so I’m not sure how well it will work or how long I can do it.” She gave a satisfied smile. “Pretty well so far.”

Isabella stared at her. “You… wait. Are you talking normally? Am I hearing that right? I didn’t know you could do that!”

Haruka smirked. “I couldn’t. I never had reason to talk much until now, and I started working on this the night in the doctor’s house.”

Isabella looked amazed and Haruka laughed as she imagined all the ideas running through her mind. “You did that to talk to me?”

“Two words at a time is… annoying,” Haruka admitted.

“But it’s cute.”

“It’s not going away, so don’t worry. This takes effort.” Haruka leaned back on her hands. “So let’s get to the important part.”

“Oh, right. You mentioned it was just your father that you left?”

Haruka nodded, looking up at the stars. “Mother died when I was young,” she began, getting used to speaking normally. “She was attacked during a raid. Father… took it hard. He made an oath to never be weak again, to always be strong enough to change things, and he included me in it.” She looked at Isabella. “He has a crazed, harsh determination that he forced on me as well. He’s probably angry at my ‘betrayal’ even though I’m sure he’s more upset at losing a promising fighter than a daughter.”

“So, what, he just doesn’t care if you’re happy or not?” Bella frowned. “What’s the point of strength if there’s nothing worth protecting?”

Haruka shrugged. “He stopped caring about those kinds of things the day mother died. I never felt the same way, but it wasn’t until now that I found something important to
me
.”

Isabella gave a sigh. “I’m sorry you didn’t have a good relationship.” She looked at Haruka. “There really wasn’t
anyone
you cared about?”

Haruka shook her head. “They’re all more or less like him.” She gave Bella a sideways smile. “I lived around a lot of people I knew, but I was about as lonely as you anyway.”

“It’s funny… I never really thought about that kind of loneliness, but I guess it’s the same kind of thing.” Isabella bit her lip in thought before glaring ahead. “Well, it’s just their loss, then. I’d feel sorry that they didn’t get to really know you if I didn’t think they deserve it.”

The monk chuckled. “It’s okay now, really. I’m a lot happier now.”

Bella smiled. “I can see that.” She looked down at her hands. “I want you to be happy, but I also want you to be alive… How can I balance that?” She met Haruka’s gaze. “I know you don’t want me to change, but I’m
weak
now, Haruka. I don’t have the power I used to unless I change.”

Haruka looked at her shoes. “We’ll find some way. I know you risk losing me by not using it, but I risk losing you if you use it. That’s even. Either choice seems selfish.”

Isabella looked across the water to the burning ship. “I make a lot of selfish choices. I’ll try not to use it unless I have to, but like I said… I can’t watch them take you away.”

Haruka nodded. “I’ll get stronger, then. I’ll make it so you don’t need to use that to keep me around.”

The knight smiled at her. “That’s really admirable. Maybe if we work together we can take on everything. Haruka and Isabella against the world.”

“I’d prefer ‘Haruka and Isabella going wherever and having fun’, but alright.”

“Well we’ll do that, too! We’re going to beat everyone, we’re going to conquer everything, we’re going to survive every situation, and we’re going to have
fun
doing it.”

“That’s a pretty tall order. You think we can achieve that?”

Isabella smiled. “When the right two people get together, they can achieve anything.”

Haruka looked out over the ocean. “I guess you’re right. We’ve already achieved help.”

The ship approaching was larger than either the one they were on or the one they’d set fire to. It was a deep black galleon with three masts; the flag was red with a black symbol of waves on it. Haruka nodded at the approaching ship. “That… is the
Black Wake
. This would only be worse trouble for us if we were on a merchant vessel, but with just the two of us it’s nothing to worry about.”

Isabella looked at her. “It’s more pirates, isn’t it?”

“More than that, it’s the Pirate Queen of the Eastern Seas.”

“…That’s a fancy title.”

“She earned it,” Haruka said, sighing as she released her hold on her energy. She could feel a little pain from all the talking, but it wasn’t as bad as she expected.

The two women watched the ship pull up beside theirs, seeing numerous people lining the side. One woman vaulted up onto the railing and leapt across, landing in front of the two. She appeared to be in her thirties and had black hair in a long ponytail. She wore semi-dirty but expensive clothing that was predominately black; it was obviously sailor wear but far more stylish and less common, composed of a shirt, trousers, coat and boots, with a black
tricorn hat with gold lining topping it off.

She wore two belts in a cross formation on her hips, with a pistol tucked into one and a brilliant silver and gold cutlass hanging from the other. She had a lot of earrings and jewelry on her person, mostly gold or silver, some of which had to be worth more than some small ships. She also had various tattoos on her tanned neck and arms, most seeming to tell a story. The woman put a hand on her hip, her blue eyes darting around the ship before focusing on the two women. “Now this’s an interestin’ situation.
The Lusty Maiden
with a dead or out crew, no sign o’ Tyne, an’ floatin’ next to a burnin’ ship fulla more corpses. I gotta say, I’m a mite curious what’s goin’ on ‘ere.”

Isabella gave a nervous laugh. “Well, you see, Captain Tyne sold us out to some enemies and they all tried to kill us, so…”

The pirate lifted an eyebrow. “So y’killed ‘em all? By yerselves? ‘Cause that’s some mighty impressive work.”

Isabella shrugged, looking at Haruka. “It wasn’t easy…”

“You’re standin’, it was easy enough.” The woman slid one leg back and swept off her hat, bowing to the two. “Captain Freya Black, Pirate Queen o’ the Eastern Seas, at ‘er own service but willin’ ta provide it.”

“Uh…” Isabella looked at Haruka, wondering which name to use.

Haruka nodded. “Haruka Saito, The Hidden Hand,” she responded.

Freya straightened and set her hat back on her head. “Figured as much, been a bit o’ noise about you, m’dear. Nice mask, by th’ way, very mysterious,” she said with a wink.

Isabella nudged the monk. “I told you.” As Haruka rolled her eyes the knight smiled at Freya. “Isabella Enyo.”

“Gotta title?”

Isabella blinked. “I’m sorry?”

Freya folded her arms. “Important people always get a title somewhere,” she stated.

“Oh, well…” Isabella glanced at Haruka. “It’s… Isabella of Two Faces,” she answered.

Freya rubbed her chin. “More mystery. Sounds like you could be fun.” She nodded back to her ship. “You need a ride or you gonna swim?”

Isabella looked at Haruka again, and Haruka smiled. “Trust them,” she stated. “We’re dangerous for them to take aboard.”

Bella blinked. “How does that mean these pirates are more trustworthy than the others?”

“She must know me,” Freya said with a grin, noticing Haruka’s smirk. The pirate moved closer to Isabella, setting a hand on her shoulder and leaning in conspiratorially. “I like danger, y’see. If it’s dangerous t’take your side, I’m on it ‘til th’ end.”

Isabella didn’t know why, but she wasn’t put off by this woman like she’d been with the other pirates. When Tyne touched her arm it made her tense (and nearly made Haruka throw him
off the ship), but when Freya did it, it just felt like a friendly gesture. She smiled, tilting her head. “I think I can understand that. And in our situation, I can definitely appreciate it.”

“Good!” Freya clapped, hopping back to her original spot.

Isabella looked over her shoulder. “Um, some of these men are alive.”

Freya shrugged. “Leave ‘em, they’ll wake up an’ sail to port.”

“If you’re sure,” Isabella said uncertainly.

A plank was lowered to their ship and after grabbing their things they moved across onto the much larger one. Haruka smirked at Isabella. “Not dirty.”

“Okay, I get your point,” Isabella said with a smile of her own.

Freya waved the crew members away, yelling at them to get back to their posts. She led the two belowdecks to a cabin, of which there were many. It was much larger, cleaner and nicer than the one on the other ship, much to the delight of Isabella. Freya leaned against the doorway as they put their stuff in the room. “I’ll let y’get settled, but if yer not tired I’d like t’talk a bit. Would you be willin’ t’meet me in my cabin? I’ll fix ya a drink.”