Rekindled (4 page)

“We might need to stay for the whole summer,” I say quietly. “Possibly longer depending on how quickly I can find work.”

“Are you going to try to find work at a salon again?”

“Considering right now I only have six dollars to my name, I’ll take whatever job I can get.”

“Six dollars? Jesus, I knew you said Zach took everything, but I thought that was an exaggeration.”

“Nope. Cleaned me out of everything.”

“How? I just don’t understand how this all happened.”

My eyes cut to his. “And you think I do? You think I saw this coming?”

“No, I didn’t say that,” he says placing his hand over mine. “I just meant—“

“I know what you meant. How stupid does someone have to be to not even know her house is being foreclosed?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to. I should have known better,” I went on. “It’s my fault for believing him when he said he was getting help.”

“Callie…”

“I should have known better than to trust him when he said he was paying our bills on time. I should have insisted that I share in that responsibility, after all it was my paychecks, too, being deposited, but he always made such a big deal about it saying it felt like a blow to his masculinity if he didn’t pay them. You have to pick your battles, and I thought I was being smart in letting him have this one.” I scoff in disgust. “I should have known that when he traded in his Porsche for a used Toyota that it wasn’t because he was trying to provide safer transportation for Jonah, but because he needed the cash for something. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to go to Starbucks one morning and have every single one of your cards declined because your jackass husband maxed them all out so he could pawn the items for cash? Fifty thousand dollars
,
Caleb.
Fifty thousand.
”

“Jesus,” he says, raking his hands over his face.

“And that was just the credit cards. Not to mention the twenty-thousand we had saved in the bank, or the money he had pulled from the mortgage on our house and never bothered to pay back, so the government foreclosed on it. The day our electricity was turned off, I found out that he hadn’t made a payment in two months and he was hiding the notices from me.”

I can feel my voice unraveling as I recount every betrayal of Zach’s. My hands tremble as anger feeds through my body until I can barely see straight.

“And you discovered all this in one day?” he asks.

“Pretty much. The electricity was shut off four days ago and he was supposed to be at a work conference in Chicago. When I talked to him that evening he said it must be some kind of mistake on their end and that he’d get it sorted first thing in the morning. When it wasn’t turned back on the next morning, I tried calling him, and he didn’t pick up. I just figured he was busy at the conference, though, so I continued my day as normal. It wasn’t until that afternoon when I tried to buy a coffee and none of my cards worked that I tried calling him again.”

“And I’m guessing he didn’t answer then either?”

“Obviously not,” I say, drily. “I had to take my laptop back to Starbucks to check all the accounts we had and that’s when I found the bank accounts drained and the credit card charges. I tried calling the hotel directly right afterwards and they said they didn’t have any record of a Zachary Biggs staying there. God, all those business trips he took over the years…and all those random expenses I never bothered questioning.”

“And you’re sure he’s gambling again?”

“Honestly at this point, I have no clue. He hasn’t contacted me since he left, so for all I know he could be halfway around the world right now.”

Caleb nods before walking around and pulling me into a hug. “Well, you can stay here as long as you’d like. Everything will be okay,” he says, placing a kiss on the top of my head. “I won’t let anything happen to you or Jonah.”

I watch as he heads upstairs, and I know I’m in good hands. I know my brother would do anything for me and my son. But I also know that at some point Zach will come looking for us. This time, I’m not so sure there’s room in my heart to take him back.

The house is quiet when I get up. I peek in on Jonah and see little brown tufts of hair poking out from beneath the navy blue comforter that he’s cocooned himself in. The door creaks slightly as I try to shut it, causing Jonah to stir. Not wanting to wake him up just yet, I freeze and hold my breath until he relaxes back into his favorite sleeping position on his stomach.

He’s been so great during this whole move, not even crying when I told him we weren’t going to be able to go back to our house in California. The fact that Zach isn’t with us doesn’t seem to faze him. Granted, even when we all lived under the same roof, there were long periods of time where it felt like he was a complete stranger to us. He’d slink off to his office for days at a time, only coming out to make sure I wasn’t letting Jonah bake cookies, draw with crayons or do “any of that other pussy shit”. He wanted a certain kind of son, and one thing I learned quickly about Zach, is what Zachary Biggs wants, Zachary Biggs gets.

Caleb’s not around, but there’s a piece of paper with his chicken scratch on it letting me know he ran out to fix a client’s computer. I make a quick cup of coffee and wrestle with my feelings. I should be devastated that Zach walked out on us, leaving me thousands of dollars in debt. But I’m not. If anything, I feel as though for the first time in a long time, I can finally breathe.

Things weren’t always this bad, but seven years of marriage can put a lot of strain on two people who have grown in such different directions. While my world revolved around Jonah, Zach’s main focus became gambling. I didn’t used to mind when Zach would go out to gamble to blow off some steam, because it provided a reprieve for me. When he was away, there was no yelling, no ordering me around, no crying. But as soon as his gambling started to interfere with his parenting, I knew we had a problem. Grabbing my phone, I press speed dial and wait as his voicemail kicks on. Listening to the deep sound of his voice, I try to figure out what I’m going to say, remembering what happened the last time I was forced to confront him about his addiction.

Eight Months
Ago

“You’re late,” I say as the lights flicker to life, illuminating the school gym. “You missed his entire performance.”

“I know, I’m sorry, traffic was just awful. There was a pileup on the I-15,” he says, leaning over to kiss my cheek. “You recorded it, though, right? I’ll just watch it later tonight and it’ll be like I was here the entire time.”

“Except you weren’t.”

“Look, Callie, can we not do this right now? I had a really rough day at work, and I just spent an hour in traffic trying to get here, okay? I already said I’m sorry that I missed the show, what more do you want?”

I press my lips together and frown. “Okay, but why do you smell like scotch?”

“Jesus. Because I had a drink at the office before leaving. I wasn’t aware that I needed your permission for everything. Would you like me to call you the next time I need to take a piss? Or maybe you’d like to start picking out my clothes for me as well.”

“I don’t want to fight with you, Zach. I was just asking a question.” Grabbing my purse off the floor, I rummage through it until I find my keys. “I told Jonah I’d take him to get ice cream after he’s done changing. Do you want to join us?”

“No, I have to get back to the office. Big wigs are flying in from headquarters tomorrow, so we’ve got to be prepared for our budget meeting. I’ll see you guys back at the house.”

I nod. “Okay. Oh, I left my jacket at home, can I borrow yours?”

He lets out an exaggerated sigh, and reluctantly shrugs out of his jacket and holds it out for me as I slip my arms into the holes. To an outsider, it would seem like Zach was the perfect gentleman. But I know better. I know he’s only doing this because we’re in public, and Zach Biggs is always one for putting on a great show when it comes to our marriage.

“Don’t get chocolate on it,” he says as he picks a piece of lint off the shoulder. “It’s my favorite, and you know you’re terrible at getting stains out of my clothes.”

I roll my eyes and shove my hands into the pockets. “I promise I’ll be careful,” I say as I pull out a crumpled piece of paper. Unfolding it, confusion settles between my eyes when I blink and stare at the paper. “Zach…why is there a valet ticket from the casino in your jacket?”

He reaches out and snatches the paper away from me. “I don’t know. It’s probably an old one that I forgot to throw out months ago.”

Lies. Lies. Lies.

“I’m not stupid, Zach. I saw the date. It’s from today. Were you at the casino today?”

“Callie…”

A year ago was when I found out about Zach’s not-so-little gambling addiction. He came home one night completely wasted after losing a hundred thousand dollars at an underground poker game, and after he ransacked our entire bedroom like the Tasmanian devil, he admitted that over the years he’d lost close to three million dollars. He always made sure to deposit his paychecks so that I wouldn’t know, but he took out loans on his 401K and blew through his trust fund, along with pulling all his stock and taking a couple loans from some friends. His parents bailed him out of that debt, and he promised all of us that he was done. He even started going to meetings to get help. Or at least, that’s what he told me he was doing.

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. “That’s why you were late to Jonah’s show tonight, isn’t it? And that’s why I smell scotch on your breath.” My nostrils flare when he doesn’t answer. “I seriously can’t believe this. How could you do this to Jonah? You swore to me you were done, that you were getting help!”

“I don’t need help.”

“Yes, Zach. You do. And the longer you go without getting help, the worse it’s going to get. How much did you lose tonight?”

“Not that much.”

“How. Much.”

“Ten thousand.”

My breath leaves my lips in a sharp tizzy. “I can’t…I can’t do this anymore.”

“Relax, it’s not that big a deal.”

“It is a big deal, Zach. I’m tired of dealing with this. I’m tired of the lies and the deceit.”

“So what? You going to threaten to leave? Because you know you’ll never get full custody of Jonah if you do.” He smiles a sickeningly sweet smile at me as he brushes his thumb against my cheek. A cold shiver coils down my spine. “We’ve already gone over this. You divorce me, and you’ll wind up with nothing. Not a single fucking penny.”

“I don’t need your money.”

“No, maybe not. But Jonah does. So think about that before you even consider asking for a divorce.”

The beep comes through the phone alerting me to leave a message, and I try to blink myself out of the stupor from my memories. Unsure of what to say, I let the silence record, knowing sometimes it’s what’s
unsaid
that means the most.